It was just when she was finally about to doze off, cheek rested on her own hand holding Fili's, that he stirred. There was a twitch, a sudden intake of breath that had her guess that he had had another nightmare and then glassy blue eyes met hers, though for a moment they were unfocused.
She said nothing, instead simply squeezed his hand, hoping the fever was not so high as to make him delirious.
"You're still here..." He mumbled, voice nonexistent but eyes clearing a little as they flickered over her face.
Sigrid forced a smile. "So are you."
He returned the smile with a tired twitch of the lips. "S-Sigrid…" He somehow managed to lift his hand from hers, to brush shakily across her cheek.
"You'll be alright. Just rest." She whispered, relishing the touch and cupping his hand with hers to keep it there.
For a while they stayed like this and his eyes slipped shut again. Sigrid had hoped he might sleep some more but then they snapped open again.
"S-Sigrid… my-my legs!" Fili croaked, panic in his eyes. He made to move, to try and turn over so that he could look, but was stopped by the pillows at his back, stabilizing him still.
They should have expected it. It was truly a surprise that it had not happened when he woke the last time, but he must have simply been too weak then. The spider venom had been strong and was taking its time leaving his body. First she needed to calm his panic though.
She quickly cupped his cheek, leaning in so that her chin rested on the mattress.
"Hush. Stay still." She tried to sound reassuring but truly, she was hurting to see him in such a fright and so disorientated.
"B-but…" He was gulping in air, breathing much too fast, eyes darting around him.
"Look at me." She gently ordered, hoping to ground him. "You've woken before. Do you remember?"
He stared at her, confusion still clear in his fearful eyes but at least he was focusing on her and stilled moving.
"Shhh… breathe. With me. Steady." She carefully stroked his beard, avoiding a few bruises near his cheekbone. He shut his eyes tight, but did as she said, forcing his breaths to slow and deepen until they were almost in sync with hers though still shallower than she would have liked. The elf had said his lungs had not been affected and she hoped it was true though his ribs had taken a heavy beating judging from the bruises alone.
She kept up the steady caress of his cheek, waiting until he blinked open his eyes again, still bleary but no longer fearful.
"You were poisoned with spider venom." She then said, trying to keep the waver out of her voice. "The elves administered an antidote but it will take some more time since it was a concentrated dose, they said. You'll be right as rain once it's left you."
His eyes widened. "I-I remember… Azog! He…" He paused, weak hand lifting again to fall short just of touching her but she caught it in hers and feeling bold and overwhelmed with relief at seeing him much more lucid than when he had last woken, she pressed a kiss to the thick skin of his palm.
"He… I couldn't let him get K-Kili!" He mumbled. "I knew… I could tell…I sent him back." He stared past her shoulder and she knew he was looking at his brother, who was tirelessly being cared for by Tauriel.
"W-why is he…?" Fili managed, "I tried…I tried…"
"Shhh…You're alive. Kili is too. You're here. Both of you. You're both alive. You did it. You saved him and you're alive." She knew she was babbling nonsense but he looked so shocked at still being among the living and in so much pain at seeing Kili injured that it was all she could do not to give in to tears. His blunt fingers danced over her cheek where she held both their hands as if she might disappear.
"I was…so sure…" He quirked his lips up into a tiny smile, her reassurances finally sinking in. "I did not hope to live." He breathed. "I never thought… to see you again."
"And yet I'm here." She smiled, glad that he seemed more lucid than she expected.
The smile broadened just a little, his eyelids heavy as he blinked slowly. "And yet you're here." He repeated in a reverent whisper.
"Go back to sleep." Sigrid told him, hand creeping up to smooth at the furrowed brow and lines of pain around his eyes.
"I'm afraid to." He mumbled, though his eyes were about ready to fall shut and he visibly fought to keep them open a little longer. "What if this is a dream?"
She chuckled at that. "It isn't." She whispered though she could see that he was already only on the verge of consciousness. She settled back down herself, continuing to stroke his temple until she herself fell asleep, thanking the Valar with her last coherent thought that his selflessness had not killed him after all.
Once the cold night air hit his face, he took a deep breath to steady himself. The elf had healed his brother. Kili would be fine.
In fact he had walked out when he had already heard him waxing poetic about her again. Thorin would most certainly not like this.
He turned his troubled eyes towards the mountain then. So far there was no sign of the dragon though they had all felt a few more quakes under their feet. Perhaps the company had succeeded?
The little dwarfling inside of him would love to see this end in gladness, but he had been raised to be more sensible than that. There was no chance they killed the beast and once it had devoured them all, it would come for them. They had doomed themselves and the innocent lives of the people in this town.
"Are you alright?" A soft voice spoke behind him and already he recognized her easily. He turned to nod at Sigrid.
"You should be inside. It's not safe out here." He told her, but there was no true conviction there.
"Apparently inside is not safe either." She retorted and moved to stand by his side, her hands on the railing to look at the mountain. "I've lived in fear of this mountain all my life and now that the earth shakes and the dragon may come, I seem to be unable to think of it as real." She then confided quietly.
Fili followed her gaze and nodded. "It is the same when you find yourself in sudden battle, your mind protects you so that you may function. It is only afterwards that you realize how close you have come to danger and death."
"Have you seen many then?" She asked, glancing at him from the corner of her eyes. "Battles, I mean."
He shrugged. "Depends who you ask. My brother and I have been trained to be warriors from a young age and been in a fair amount of skirmishes, but if you ask uncle or any of the others, they keep telling us that we know nothing of true battle."
"At least you know how to defend yourselves then. I could not even protect my family just then." She very quietly admitted, eyes downcast.
Fili looked up at her for a moment, contemplative. "Then you should be better prepared next time." He finally stated.
When she looked at him, he pulled the little knife she had seen him play with out of its sheath with a flourish and held it out for her handle first. "Here, take this. It will be better than nothing."
As she examined the blade, finding runes embedded into the metal, he unbuckled the little sheath from where he had placed it on his wrist.
"It was hidden under my vambraces. The only one those damned elves did not find. It is light but sharp as a razor and should serve you well in a pinch." He explained and held out his hand, palm up towards her.
She took a moment to grasp his meaning, then placed her wrist in his hand, watching as he strapped it on, adjusting the buckles for her much slimmer wrists. In the end he had to wind them around her wrist twice to secure it. When she handed him the knife, he demonstrated how it would slide into her palm with the tiniest flick of her wrist.
"I made it myself. It's a neat little trick and will surprise your enemies. Now," He took a step back and Sigrid found that she missed the warmth his body seemed to be giving off, "here is what you should aim at."
He pointed at his own neck. "Anything here is like to kill, so always begin there if you can. Otherwise, the eyes are a good guess because it will get them off you if they are worried about having lost one."
Sigrid gulped but nodded and listened carefully as he explained about thick bloodvessels which were close to the skin and if pierced would bleed an opponent dry and where the small blade would be most likely to do serious damage.
"If you can, you're best bet is running though. If you're not a warrior, you should always take that option first. Only fight when you must." He finished, his face a mask of seriousness.
"Thank you." She managed. "I assume you have never run from a fight?" She could not help but ask.
"There is nothing dishonorable about retreating when you're about to be overwhelmed to come back later and return with a good strategy." He seemed quite serious still, though his eyes were showing a small sparkle of amusement.
Sigrid could not bring herself to smile. "There is no retreat here." She then muttered, her arms going around herself, though the knife on her wrist was a little reassuring.
He did not contradict her but when she shivered again, she was startled to find him holding out the borrowed blue scarf he had been wearing. "You need it more than I do."
She smiled in acceptance but when she made to take it, he surprised her again by shaking his head and motioning for her to bend down a little so that he could loop it around her neck himself, draping the broad fabric over her shoulders in lieu of a cloak.
"There. I would offer my coat, but well..." He looked away and Sigrid could have sworn he was a little flushed under his beard.
"I hope it will be returned to you one day." Sigrid tried, not sure what to say as she straightened.
"It's not so much the coat... my weapons are... they took my father's swords." He told her quietly.
It suddenly occurred to her that he too must have lost a parent. "I'm sorry." She put a tentative hand on his shoulder which he took and smiled up at her.
"What's done is done." He shrugged as if it did not matter, but he could not quite hide the pain.
Sigrid found herself looking into his eyes a little too long, abruptly dropping her gaze to the floor. "That's true." She awkwardly muttered.
"Sigrid..." Fili stepped closer but then suddenly his eyes were drawn to the mountain. "There's smoke."
Her heart stopped as she followed his gaze. "Is it the dragon?"
"No." He muttered, squinting to try and make it out better. Her hand was still in his and she found that it made her a little less afraid. "No. That looks more like forge-fire. Come, we must tell the others!" He tugged her towards the door, only letting go of her hand when he approached the others urgently telling them the news.
That was when they were all nearly thrown off their feet when the earth shook and a roar like a hurricane sounded from the direction of the mountain.
tbc...