Chapter 5: Acceptance

"So, has that wanker Ryan messed with you anymore?" Ted asked Lily, as they ate lunch at their favorite spot, the Astronomy Tower. Lily rolled her eyes, "When does he ever not mess with me? We broke up six months ago, and he still won't leave me alone." "I can always give him detention with Filch if you'd like," Ted offered. Lily laughed.

Things with Ted had completely gone back to normal after their last talk. They started hanging out again, and Lily bottled up her feelings, only allowing them to break through when she was dreaming. Ted, however, was still oblivious to her true feelings. Lily didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed about that fact.

"What about you? Is Vic still writing you?" Lily wondered. Ted sighed, "She still sends me the occasional apology, but I know her and Davies are still, well, you know. I did get a pretty nasty howler from Bill though." Lily rolled her eyes. She was still shocked that Vic allowed the whole family to believe Ted just dumped her for no reason at all.

"I wish you would just let me tell my family the truth," Lily said. Teddy shrugged. "Nah, it's fine, Lil. All Vic has is her reputation. I won't stoop to her level by trying to ruin it. Besides, this will all blow over eventually." "She's still a git. I could always hex her if you'd like," Lily threw in.

Teddy laughed. Lily almost swooned. She loved making Ted laugh. "Thanks, Lil." "Ah, anything to help out a damsel in distress, like yourself," Lily joked, nudging him.

The next thing Lily felt was Teddy throwing her backwards onto the ground. He hovered over her; his face just inches away from her. Lily could swear she saw the same longing she felt reflected in his own eyes. She even thought he might be about to kiss her.

Teddy leaned down even closer. Lily's heart started hammering in her chest. Then, he moved to her ear and whispered, "You take that back." Before Lily could even respond, Teddy started tickling her. He was relentless, pinning both her arms down with hand, and tickling her all over with the other until Lily was gasping for breath. Lily tried to fight back, laughing the whole time, but it was no use.

"Fine!" Lily gasped, but Teddy didn't stop. "Who's the real damsel?" Teddy ask, tickling Lily's sides. "I am, okay? I am!" Lily exclaimed. "Exactly," Teddy stated, laying down on his back. "It's not fair when you do that. I'm obviously not as strong as you," Lily complained, turning to face him.

"Well, get stronger then," Ted laughed. Lily rolled her eyes. "You know, I'm still better at potions than you. I may bake you some cookies and slip something in them to make you shrimpy again." Ted feigned ignorance. "I've never been shrimpy." Lily gave him an amusing smile. "You must've forgotten how you looked when you finally hit puberty."

Ted's eyes narrowed. "Don't think I've forgotten the terrible acne phase you went through, Lil." Lily blushed. "Fair enough." They both laughed, and suddenly, Ted was staring at her. Lily felt the mood shift from comical to, well, almost romantic.

Ted continued to stare into Lily's eyes. She could feel her heart beat faster and faster in her chest. She found it harder to breath, and she could feel her cheeks getting redder by each passing second. In that moment, she recognized the look in Ted's eyes. The longing for a closeness, for something more than what they were. She knew that look all too well, for it was the same look she gave him so often.

Ted reached out and tucked a loose strand of hair behind Lily's ear, slowly touching her cheek as he pulled his hand back. Lily's heart beat ecstatically. She felt herself start to crave more than just this silent, but intense interaction. She wanted his lips on hers again.

Lily started to lean forward, ever so slightly. "Lily," Ted began to say. "Yes?" Lily asked, still slowly moving her face closer. "There's something I've been wanting to say, even though I know I shouldn't," Ted continued. Lily paused for a moment. "What do you mean, Ted?"

Ted took a deep breath. "That night at the lake, well, there's a reason I said I was being selfish." "I know, Ted, you already explained everything to me. You didn't want to lose any of us." "Well, yes, that was partly it, but there was another reason. A much bigger reason. One, I'm not even sure I should be saying right now." Ted seemed to struggle to find the right words. Lily put her hand on his face. "Ted, you can tell me anything. You know that."

Ted placed his hand over hers. "I know, Lil. Okay, here it goes. The reason why I was being so selfish is because I couldn't stand the thought of not being around you all the time. I knew if I ended things with Vic, and everyone blamed me, there was a good chance you would, too. I couldn't bear to lose you."

Lily's heart did a somersault, but she knew his affection wasn't romantic. He was her best mate. Of course, he wouldn't want to lose me. Don't think this to be any more than what it is, Lily, she thought to herself. "Ted, you're my best mate. You're never going to lose me," Lily stated firmly.

Ted looked confused for a moment, and then said, "No, Lil, I don't think you realize what I'm trying to say." Lily's heart started beating even faster than before. All she could do was hope he would say the words that she so desperately longed for him to say.

Ted took another deep breath. "Lily, I-," but they were interrupted by the screeching of an owl swooping down by them. They both jumped up, apart from each other. The spell was broken.

Ted walked over and unrolled the parchment from the owl's leg. Reading the letter, he cursed himself. "Shit, McGonagall's looking for me. I have to go." Lily couldn't believe her luck. Finally, Ted was about to let his walls down and open up in a way he never done with her before. Of course, it would be interrupted by a bloody owl.

Ted start cleaning up everything with a wave of his wand. As he started to turn away, Lily called, "Wait! Aren't you going to at least finish what you were about to say?" Ted took yet another deep breath and looked apologetically at Lily. "Lil, I'm so sorry. What I said, and what I was about to say, it, well, it was inappropriate. Just forget I said anything." With that, he gave a wave, sadness and regret evident in his beautiful green eyes, and made his way down the Astronomy Tower.

Lily was more confused than ever. What had Teddy meant? Was he about to confess real feelings for her? As much as she wanted to believe that, it just felt impossible for her to think Ted, a man who could have any woman he wanted, would want her. As she made her way down the Astronomy Tower, she couldn't get Ted words out of her mind.

Ted may not be irrevocably in love with her, but there was definitely more between them than what he was willing to admit. She knew better than to push Ted, but she was going to get to the bottom of Ted's feelings one way or another. She knew it may not end in the way she hoped, but she couldn't deny that this change in her relationship with Ted was exciting and passionate. For that, she was willing to accept things as they were. For now.