A/N: Finally, chapter three is here! Thanks for waiting!
Onto reviews: Thank you for being patient, and I'm glad you enjoyed it (minosunie)! Sorry for the late update, but thank you! Glad it has caught your interest :) (Guest)!
Onto business: This chapter took longer than I could imagine; not because it's long, but because I've been busy. And unable to get past a certain point. I have to say, this is sadly not the most interesting chapter, so I want to apologize ahead of time for that! But other than that, I did research on the clothing in the Goryeo era (or tried to) and I hope it's mostly accurate; I'm sorry for mistakes, again. But thank you to all those who were patient with me, and decide to continue reading this story! If there is any confusion, don't hesitate in asking questions, and please enjoy!
He couldn't understand why he didn't remember her of all people. He felt that she was important—or rather, he knew that person was important to him. But he could not remember her name, nor her face; he remembered absolutely nothing. All except that he felt strongly about her—that if he didn't find out who she was, he would ultimately lose sight of everything. That was why he needed to find her.
Strolling through a village of Goryeo, Choi Young scanned the area around him; searching, observing—just to figure out who he was looking for. Along his walk through the village, he stumbled into many villagers who simply got in his path—in his way—and prevented him from making any progress through his journey. He didn't even know where he was heading. The general couldn't understand why his memory of Goryeo was picture perfect; everything was in perfect detail—even the people who he associated himself with. He could recall people who mattered less to him more easily than that person who he could not remember. In his dreamlike state, he couldn't begin to fathom why he couldn't remember her or recall any of their memories together. If she really was as important as he led himself to believe—as his dream depicted her significance—then why was it he had to search relentlessly for her? How could he even be sure that she existed in his dream world, or that she existed at all?
Because I know it.. I cannot help this heavy feeling in my heart—it really does weigh me down. It's urgent I find her before..
..Before…?
With a frustrated sigh, Choi Young pushed through villagers that still got in his way. Now he wasn't going to wait any longer, nor was he going to simply maneuver past them. Right now, finding her was more important than anything else. For some reason he couldn't recall, he just couldn't waste time. It was either find her or lose everything. The second choice wasn't very pleasing either. He already lost a lot—including the love of his life. The woman that he planned to marry. His fiancée. But despite this knowledge of her being deceased, the pain he once felt no longer carried the heavy impact it did. What he lost in the past was important, however, it carried little significance to his life now. But why?
He couldn't understand it. If anything, he was only confusing himself. And the blanks in his memory didn't help any. They only made the situation worse for him. The last thing a person needed—a general in particular—was blanks in their memory. It would only set them up for mistakes and dig a deeper grave than the ones they were already in. Choi Young—his grave was undeniably deep. With the blood on his hands and the souls of the dead that clung to his back, he would not be able to rest peacefully. Choi Young would undoubtedly be haunted by those memories of battle his entire life, up until his very death. But strangely, after meeting with the deceased Woodalchi, Choi Young was able to feel a bit more at ease. Of course, he still felt the heavy burden on his shoulders, but the weight was lifted a little bit; enough for the general to be able to continue on his journey through life without any regrets.
It was a life he was fated to live.
Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw the unusual color of reddish-brown pass by in the distance. He discarded what thoughts his mind carried and snapped his attention to where he saw that particular auburn color. From where he stood, he saw the strange woman wearing odd clothing. It wasn't the traditional cloth that villagers wore, but something much more different from what he was used to. She was simply dressed all in white, wearing what he assumed to be a new, white jeogori with a bit of blue fabric beneath it. While it looked like the jeogori—which was typically worn by all women—it was styled differently; almost inappropriately. It wasn't how it was supposed to be worn traditionally, as far as Choi Young could see. And not only that, but the jeogori was not accompanied by the chima, which was the bottom half of the outfit, but rather something different. Something typically worn by men, and worn by woman on the inside of their chima—it was baji. But she—this person—wore it with no shame whatsoever, nor with any concern from the suspicion she may have raised by dressing differently. And it was not baggy either, as he'd normally seen with most baji. He couldn't seem to describe her garments correctly. He was suspicious. Despite being unable to get a clear view of her face due to the moving villagers, he felt drawn to her.
Before he knew it, that person began to leave. She spun around, rushing off through the crowd of people as if she were trying to escape. Choi Young couldn't help but follow her, and simply followed his deepest urges. He moved past people, bumping into the villagers who got in his way. However, despite his attempts to follow her, she disappeared from his sights. He was left alone, without any trace of that auburn-haired woman.
Where could she have gone..?
He searched relentlessly, strolling and wandering around the village market; even going as far as to look through the stalls of several villagers to uncover her hiding spot, if she did happen to go into hiding. For some reason, he couldn't help but feel as if she were trying to run away from him. As if she were trying to escape him, for some strange reason—one that Choi Young could not bring himself to understand or remember. Despite her familiarity, he couldn't recall much. That was what he couldn't come to understand: how could one feel so captivated by a person they could not remember—or even bring themself to recall? Surely, if one was forgotten in the past, they weren't even significant in the first place. But that still did not stop Choi Young from searching.
Where did that person go?
He searched for what felt like countless hours. He wandered around the village, looking through stalls, peering to every corner, only to find the regular villagers staring at him as if he were odd. Choi Young could not begin to count the amount of times he ran into the same villagers over and over, but still he was unable to catch a second sight of her—that person. It didn't make sense; how could she disappear off the face of the land, known as Goryeo? It not only troubled him, but it also sent his calm mind into curiosity; one he could not control.
"This doesn't make sense.." he muttered half to himself, finally coming to a halt as his eyes scoured the village one final time. It would be pointless to keep searching—
Out of nowhere, Choi Young felt a much smaller body bump into his; causing him to step forward.
"A—ah, sorry!" came a soft apology, almost quiet. Like the voice of an unsure woman. "I mean, you should be careful, too. But, sorry.." The second apology sounded different from the first; it sounded as though it were the futile attempt of someone to deepen their voice. Like the aim was to sound like a man.
This once again caught Choi Young's lingering curiosity, seeing as he turned his head to figure out who this stranger was. The stranger took a step back, shielding their face from anyone's sight with their satgat—the straw-like hat worn commonly by farmers and monks. However, Choi Young was well aware of suspicious figures who also happened to wear that type of accessory; especially those who used it to cover their faces from others. Had one not wanted to appear suspicious to someone such as the General of the Woodalchi, then they should have held back from hiding their face. Choi Young finally turned his body so he could face the suspicious figure, still hiding their face with the straw hat. He could tell how tense they were, by the way their grip on their hat tightened.
"Who are you?" It was a simple question; one that Choi Young didn't expect an answer to. Instead of waiting for an answer, his hand lunged out immediately to yank the straw hat off the stranger's head. Upon doing so, the stranger beneath the hat flinched slightly.
"H—hey!" A female? "Talk about rude!"
Choi Young's eyes settled on the female. Her auburn hair was tied up into a bun, however, even with her abnormal hair color, her style of clothing proved her to be a simple villager now—with the exception that she tried to play herself off as a man. Despite his facial features remaining calm, Choi Young was unable to keep from feeling a little surprised. It's her.. That person he was searching for this whole time. He caught a glimpse of her face and something in his mind told him that this person was the one; but what did that even mean for him? Another sense of familiarity flooded over him and Choi Young found himself wanting to ask her again, who she was. But it was too late, seeing as just the mere appearance of her distracted him. Through the pause he took to control his distracting thoughts, the young female lunged forward and snatched the straw hat back. And before Choi Young could calculate her next movements—something he was normally able to do—she sprinted off past him; clutching the straw hat tightly in her hands.
"Halt!" shouted Choi Young, turning to run after her. The armor he wore only made it that much more difficult to try and beat her fast speed; she was already a few feet ahead of him. Strands of reddish-brown hair that was tied up in a loose bun began to fall out due to her hasty movements. She probably didn't plan to make a run for it. "Why won't you listen to me?" That question was a bit startling; normally he wouldn't ask such a peculiar question. After all, a suspicious figure had no reason to listen to him. But for some reason, a part of him deep down inside had hoped that she would listen to him. "Why are you running?!" Despite the effort he put towards catching up with her, she was easily able to outrun him now. She maneuvered past villagers—ones he ultimately shoved aside once he came by—and ducked through stalls.
The chase lasted for what felt like forever; but neither of them gave up. She seemed determined to outrun the General, but Choi Young was also very persistent; he lost her once, he wasn't going to lose her a second time. There were questions he needed to ask, information he wanted to figure out, memories he longed to recall. He just had to fill in as much of the blanks as possible. Was it possible? Was any of this possible? Or perhaps he was keeping false hope in his heart. For what reason? What was the point in chasing this person in his conscious mind if he were to wake up eventually?
But why wake up..? What's the point if I'm trapped as the King's possession? I'm a General, nothing more, isn't that right?
That's why finding out about her—that person—was important for Choi Young. This was his one chance to find answers, find out why it was important to continue living his life as a General under the King. It would help him find the point in it all The chase led Choi Young to the district belonging to none other than Prince of the Court. Being far ahead of him, she was able to slip in past the numerous soldiers surrounding the area, but Choi Young slowed to a stop. Would he have to fight in his dreams, too? It was beginning to feel a little less than peaceful. With the addition of the disturbing images of his old comrades, Choi Young began to believe that this was something closer to a nightmare than a dream. There had to be some purpose to these encounters within his mind and conscious. There just had to be. Choi Young remained utterly still, watching the soldiers patrol the boundaries of Gi Cheol's court.
Pressing a hand to the hilt of his sword, Choi Young cautiously approached Gi Cheol's home and the soldiers patrolling the area. As he reached the steps, Choi Young spoke up with the courage he carried deep within. He wasn't afraid of anything; there was no reason to be afraid. "Where is Gi Cheol?" The question was asked with respect, as Choi Young was trained to be. However, the soldiers all remained silent and still; unmoving. Their eyes were on Choi Young; staring at him as if he weren't there. It was peculiar that none made a single move to strike at him—surely, due to all that he did, they saw him as some kind of a threat with a hand on the hilt of his weapon. Puzzled by their odd behavior, Choi Young—with his guard still up—shifted his dark gaze upwards to the roof of the building where he saw Chun Eum Ja—Gi Cheol's pledged brother—kneeling. In his hands was his weapon; the flute that could kill with soundwaves. His watchful gaze was locked onto Choi Young, yet he remained utterly still and unmoving like the rest of the soldiers. Like they weren't even breathing to begin with.
With the same confidence as before, Choi Young moved past the still figures and made his way up the steps of Gi Cheol's home. Every soldier he passed by made no movement whatsoever; it was like it was safe to enter the court. It was certainly puzzling, but in this odd world within the confinements of his consciousness, anything was surely possible; like seeing the dead. Instead of worrying about how he would leave, Choi Young—after confirming that these soldiers were very well like the dead, unable to perform any further actions or movements—raced along the outside corridor. He slid open the doors and searched every room he could within the Prince of the Court's home; only coming across nothing and no one. Not even the woman he chased.
Where.. Where could she have gone?
It was only then he decided to check the last place she could be; in the garden belonging to Gi Cheol. Choi Young left the room to the outside corridor and made his way around to the back of the court where the garden would be at.
As he remembered clearly, for some reason.
Once he made his way around to the back of the court, he strolled down into the garden; casting a glance around to see if he could spot her. And he was able to find her easily. The woman, who tried dressing up as a man before, now wore a white gown fit for royalty; it was as if she were truly a part of the royal family with such a white and unique outfit that was clearly custom-made. She turned around to face him, still being quite the distance away. And it was clear that it was the same woman from the previous two times; how could one forget such an abnormal hair color? Meeting with her gaze once, Choi Young couldn't prevent certain thoughts from entering his mind and for a second, he really believed she was beautiful. It was strange for him, normally he paid little attention to the appearance of others, but something about this woman drew him towards her. However, something else about her also gave off the impression that she was lonely. Her features—her saddened smile and empty gaze—led him to believe that she wasn't happy. It was clear, she did not want to be there. More than anything else, he wanted to approach her and speak to her.
"I'm fine," she murmured, shifting her vacant gaze away from him. Her eyes rested on the variety of flowers surrounding her. "I like it here. So why did you bother coming? We don't need to see each other again, but you keep coming.."
"Because," replied Choi Young directly after, "I need to find answers."
"Answers? For what?" Her smile faded away from her facial features. "I don't need you getting into trouble when I'm fine here. Okay? I know you made a promise, but just forget it."
"How can imja expect me to forget?" he retorted. Choi Young only then realized what he had said—what he had called her. He addressed her as imja when he believed he didn't even know her.
"Then why do you need answers when you already know?" she replied, turning away from him. "You need answers for something you already know. If that isn't forgetful, then I don't know what is.."
"Stop turning away from me!" Choi Young said out of frustration. As if he were going to try and follow her once more, he took a step towards her. Only then a huge and heavy gust of wind blew at them. While Choi Young was normally capable of fighting off almost anything, this gust of wind was as strong as tens of thousands of soldiers at once. Planting his feet firmly on the ground, with his forearm shielding his face from the blast, Choi Young focused on maintaining his position and not being blown away. "Imja!" he called out, screwing his eyes shut as the winds grew more vicious. With slight concern that he lost her, Choi Young stood his ground so that he wouldn't be pushed back by the winds. And just when he thought he was about to lose his balance, the heavy blowing of the wind died out and everything fell silent. A few seconds afterwards, Choi Young lowered his forearm from his face and opened his eyes, only to find himself in a different place than before.
Instead of being in Gi Cheol's garden, Choi Young realized he was now in the Royal Palace; in one of the chambers that Choi Young was once again strangely familiar with. Herbs were littered across one of the oak tables in the room.
A doctor's room?
He couldn't be any more confused than he already was. He was able to find hints and pieces of his memory, but none of it would connect; mainly because he still did not know who that woman was. And now, seeing as he was in the chambers belonging to a doctor, he was far from finding out who she was or where she was at. It was like starting from square one.
"Choi Young.." a voice called out to him.
He lifted his gaze from the herbs on the table over to the sliding door where a woman had entered. Her auburn hair was tied up into a bun with strands framing either side of her face, along with jewels and accessories adorning her hair and features. It led him to believing that he was meeting with royalty. This time, instead of wearing the white outfit from before, she was dressed in a rose-colored wonsam, which was typically worn for ceremonies such a marriages. It was not often he met someone dressed in something so simple and beautiful. Accompanying the rose-colored wonsam was a beige-colored daedae with unique designs on it. All of this felt nostalgic—even her pained expression. It was as if he witnessed something like this before.
"Imja.. What are you wearing?" he asked, taking a hesitant step towards her.
She simply gave him a sad smile. "You should leave this place. I did this for you—to help you.. And if you're imprisoned here, then there will be nothing left I can do to help you. So do me a favor, and leave.. I don't want to see you killed, Choi Young."
"Not until I remember," he told her, taking a few more quiet and slow steps toward her. "Who are you..? And why do I feel like I know you, despite not being able to even remember your face?"
"I told you to leave," she interrupted him, backing up against the screen door. "You can't be here, so please.. Go back.."
"Why do you keep pushing me away?" he suddenly asked, ignoring her request. "Every time I see you.. You're either running from me, or you're pushing me away."
"Because you don't belong here!" she snapped at him. Despite her trying to express her frustrations, her eyes began to water. She wiped away those tears that threatened to fall. "You'll die if you stay, Choi Young.. I've done my best to save you, so why are you still here?"
Something about seeing her close to tears reminded him of the familiarity he once felt. This happened before.. Not the way the moment was going down, but all the bits and pieces; the crying, the constant requests, the relentless questioning, the outfits, the locations, everything was familiar.
"Please just go.. Why are you staying? You're going to die!" Another tear fell, dripping down her rosy cheeks. When he remained utterly silent, simply watching her, she looked as though she gave up. With a sorrowful and forced smile, she lowered her gaze from him. "Why are you always making me cry..? These careless actions of yours.. Your thoughtless decisions... for your own well being.. It really sends me over the edge with tears. It's unfair that all you'll let me do is sit and watch.. Isn't it bad enough that I still am regretful for almost killing you? So why do you kill yourself in this way..?"
Before anymore saddened words could fall past her lips, Choi Young lunged forward towards her; wrapping his arms tightly around her as he pulled her into a surprising embrace. Her chin rested atop his shoulder, and he moved to rest his own chin atop her own shoulder. He held her closely, longingly, practically lovingly without even realizing it. Speaking to her at long last, being able to hear her speak, allowed him to slowly recall the memories of their adventures together, where they both loved and lost. The pain they endured together, because of each other, and the happiness the two shared.
"Imja.. You're always on the verge of tears. Is this really all my doing?" he murmured quietly. He listened as she exhaled shakily. "I do these things because it's imja. I promised I would protect you, didn't I? So why is it when I try to keep a promise, you're always sad?" He smiled faintly, still holding her closely and protectively. "..It's strange how seeing you on the verge of tears reminds me of everything. Of who you are.."
"Despite everything I've said.. You're still staying..?" she whispered.
"No," he murmured in response. "I'm going. I'm going to survive, because I do have something to live for now. It's worth the struggle of being General of the Woodalchi. But because of you, I'm going to survive as long as I can. So please.. Help me, imja. Help me wake up from this dreadful world."
A/N: Your thoughts? Hope you enjoyed! Another update should be coming up very soon!