To fall for one of my stories is to hurt yourself; I really am a terrible updater. Also, I'm trying to keep these chapters under 1000 words. Thank you for reading.
Date 1: When Sparks Fly
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Feng: Welcome back everyone! Sorry for the delay. It definitely wasn't because we were cleaning up Bill's blood from the set. It was because we like to go the extra mile to make sure our audience is safe. (Gestures to thick, glass-like barrier in front of the stage)
(The audience gives a round of applause)
Feng: We estimate the risk of one of you being brutally murdered has went down by a whooping 3.7 percent. That's a new record! So, let your guard down, relax and get ready for a good time. Our special guest, The Huntress, has returned from her first date along with her interpreter. We have the footage of how the date went, but before we get to the tape, let's ask the lady of the hour how things went.
(Huntress is pushed out from the backroom and the door is slammed behind her. She glares at door, but then walks to the front of the stage where the glass separates her from the audience)
Feng: Huntress, let me start off by saying that the barrier surrounding the stage is axe-proof. We tested to be sure. And this special barrier surrounding me? Axe proof, fire-proof, bullet-proof, water-proof, and missile proof. I refuse to become another casualty. (Catches herself) And by casualty, I mean…of random violence that occurs separate from this show. (Flashes smile) Anyway, we have a chair back there for you and your interpreter, so take a seat and relax. Speaking of your interpreter, where is she?
(The backroom door opens again, and a resistant Claudette is shoved out)
Claudette: Wait, wait! Why do I have to sit behind the glass with her? (When the door won't budge, she turns around and smiles nervously. Keeping her eyes on Huntress, she slowly walks to one of the chairs and sits)
Feng: Sorry Claudette, as her interpreter we need you with her for the time being. But don't worry, we have security in the back in case she gets antsy.
Claudette: You mean Bill? He just got out the hospital and he still has an oxygen machine with him.
Feng: Yes, well, it turns out this job isn't in high demand. Side note: if anyone in the audience is looking for a job, we have fifteen openings for security. The pay is good, but there are no health benefits. But moving on, let's get this show on the road. (Turns back to The Huntress) Huntress, your first date was with The Doctor. A man known to really shock his dates. How did it go?
(The Huntress remained still for a moment, and then suddenly made a fist and punched her hand)
Feng: I see. Claudette, can you translate for us please?
Claudette: …she wanted to punch him at first.
(The Huntress lifted her axe menacingly)
Claudette: …and she started to cut him down.
(The Huntress lowered her arm slowly and then smiled faintly)
Claudette: …but then she started to enjoy herself.
Feng: (Nods) And would you say there was a connection?
(The Huntress folded her arms and continued humming)
Claudette: …maybe.
Feng: Well, let's see for ourselves. (Points to the giant flat screen on the wall) Role the clips!
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Clip One: (From the cracked open bathroom door, clearly spying, we can see Claudette standing in front of the sink mirror. She is splashing water on her face and talking to herself softly.)
Claudette: Alright, Claudette. You've got this. It's just another gig. You've dealt with the worst of the worst on this show. One more won't kill you…hopefully. Just get through tonight and you'll have enough saved for your first semester of college.
Clip Two: (Claudette is talking to the camera with a hopeful smile)
Claudette: Hello. My name is Claudette, and this is my fourth time as an interpreter on A Killer Love. I've translated for The Hag, The Nightmare and The Cannibal. After those three, I'm pretty sure there's nobody worse. So, I'm hopeful about not getting hurt this time around.
Clip Three: (From a distance, in the back room, we zoom in to see Claudette walk up to The Huntress and extend her hand)
Claudette: Hey, I'm Claudette, and I'll be your interpreter for the evening.
(Huntress stares and then hold axe out)
Claudette: (Nervous smile) Nice to meet you. (Carefully shakes edge of axe) So, today, you'll be going out with a man nicknamed The Doctor. I don't know him very well, but I do know he's very dedicated to his career. If you want a working man, he's got potential.
(Huntress hums)
Claudette: …are you humming because you're nervous? If so, there's no need to be. You're tall, and pretty…I think. And you look strong, so I'm sure you can handle yourself.
(Huntress just stares at her)
Claudette: (Rubs back of head) Um…did you want to change?
(Huntress frowns)
Claudette: Not to say that you don't look good. You look…as great as any giant killer woman could. I just wanted you to know you had options.
(Huntress shakes her head slowly)
Claudette: …do you at least want shoes? (Points to a pair of white sneakers off to the side) It can prevent cuts and infections—
(One of Huntress's axes suddenly flies and cuts the sneakers in half)
Claudette: But then again, barefoot is coming back into style. (Backs away) We should get going.
Clip Four: (Claudette is opening the limousine door for Huntress, who is reluctant to enter. After a few seconds, she finally gets in. Suddenly the film repeats the same scene over and over again before going black.)
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Feng: Great. Technical difficulties. (Puts hand on head) If it's not the looming threat of death, it's the technology. (Puts on fake smile) Well folks, now is the perfect time to take a bathroom break while were correcting this situation. But stay tuned, we'll be back shortly!