Chapter 5

Suddenly, unexpectedly, Jarrod came in the front door. Nick felt all of the blood run out of his face.

Jarrod closed the door behind him and came into the foyer. He looked beat. He dropped his briefcase on the floor near the doors to the library and came into the living room, looking very dark and too tired to take another step.

"Jarrod! We didn't expect you tonight!" Victoria said.

"Yes, it was an exhausting trip, but I wanted to get home," Jarrod said, and he looked up.

Nick was suddenly looking very awkward, and the rest of the family was not looking comfortable either, but after he noticed that, Jarrod's gaze went to Amanda on the settee by Nick's side. Jarrod stopped about ten feet short. He did not smile.

He looked hesitant for a moment, like he was certain he knew Amanda but he didn't know from where. Then recognition, uncertain at first but then real, washed over him. Then he looked at Nick, and he got it, all of it. He muttered, "Excuse me," and he turned and walked out the front door again.

His family was startled. Nick started to move after him, but Heath had gotten up and was already ahead of him. "Let me, Nick," he said and hurried out the front door.

Outside, when Heath caught up with him, Jarrod was at the barn reclaiming the horse he'd rented in town. Ciego, who was handing off the reins to Jarrod, looked completely confused. Jarrod had already remounted. "Jarrod," Heath said, taking hold of the horse's bridle so Jarrod couldn't ride away. "Wait a minute."

"Let go of the horse, Heath," Jarrod said, and he would not look at his brother.

"Jarrod, we need to talk."

"Heath, let go of it," Jarrod said. "Let go of it right now."

Heath saw Jarrod just close his eyes. Heath could tell, Jarrod was not only tired - he was mad, too. Heath let go of the horse, and Jarrod took off, back toward Stockton.

"Something has put a burr under Senor Jarrod's saddle," Ciego said.

"Yeah," Heath agreed.

He turned to go back to the house, finding Nick coming out. "Heath, ask Ciego to get the buggy ready," Nick said. "Amanda wants to go home."

"Is she all right?" Heath asked.

"What did Jarrod have to say?" Nick asked.

"Nothing," Heath said. "He just said he was going back to town. But he recognized Amanda."

Nick heaved a sigh. "Yeah. I didn't expect him to come home tonight – and I didn't know he'd ever seen Amanda before."

Nick turned and went back into the house without another word. Heath heaved a sigh and went back to see Ciego. "What is going on, Senor Heath?" Ciego asked.

Heath shook his head. "Nothing you really want to know about, amigo. Can you get the buggy ready for Nick again?"

"Si," Ciego said and went to work.

XXXXXX

Nick drove Amanda back to town in silence, until they got to the front of Harry's bar. There was no place to tether the horse, and when Nick stopped, Amanda just started to get out. "Wait a minute," Nick said.

She sat down beside him again.

"I need to apologize for my older brother's behavior," Nick said and would have said more.

But Amanda quickly said, "No, you don't."

"Jarrod recognized you, didn't he? You've met before, haven't you?" Nick asked.

Amanda nodded. "Your brother and I met one day when he was prosecuting Cass, years ago. I wasn't much more than a child at the time. I didn't think he'd remember me so I didn't mention it, but he clearly did, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you – it was a mistake. I went up to him as he was leaving the courtroom one day during Cass's trial, and I was in tears. I begged him not to put my brother in jail. Fool that I was, I thought if I got Jarrod to stop prosecuting Cass, Cass would take me in and I could be free of the orphanage I was in. Over time, I came to realize that Cass wasn't worth my tears. He never would have taken me in, and I'm a lot better off for it. When I came of age, I left the orphanage and just took whatever work I could get. I finally came back here to Stockton because this was home once. I didn't know how bad things had gotten for Jarrod because of Cass, and I - . Anyway, when I got here, Harry told me about Jarrod and Cass, but he gave me work because his little sister and I were friends as children, when my parents were alive and we lived here. Nick, I never intended to hurt you or your brother or anyone in your family, but it's clear I've hurt Jarrod - "

By now, Amanda was in tears and had run out of words. Nick was torn. He took her hand. He felt terrible for her, but he also felt terrible for his brother. If only Jarrod hadn't come home so unexpectedly. If only they'd had a chance to talk to him before he saw Amanda at the house, out of the blue.

Amanda saw how conflicted Nick was. She didn't know what to say, so she just got out of the buggy and went into the saloon.

Nick sat there for a long time, not sure what he wanted to do or where he wanted to go. He thought he ought to go into the saloon and see Amanda, but maybe he needed to talk to someone else first.

Nick took a look down the street and saw the light on in Jarrod's office. He gave the horse the reins and drove down there, found a place to tether up and headed into the office. But as he climbed the stairs, he grew angrier and angrier. Jarrod had no right to take his grief and insanity out on Amanda, and Nick burst into his office intending to really let him have it.

"Jarrod – "

Nick stopped. Jarrod was sitting at his desk, holding the photograph of himself and Beth on their wedding day in Denver. There were tears running down his face. He didn't even seem to know Nick was there.

Nick was more conflicted than ever. Jarrod was wrong in the way he treated Amanda, but Nick wasn't about to kick his brother when he was down. He would have turned and gone out, but Jarrod said, "I'm sorry, Nick."

Nick came back toward the desk and sat down in one of the chairs there. "No, I am. I knew who Amanda was when I brought her to the house. The family did, too. We just didn't expect you home tonight and we didn't know you'd met her before. I had talked to the family about Amanda while you were gone and I thought I'd have time to talk to you before you saw her with me, but I messed it up."

Jarrod put the photo down and wiped his face and eyes with both hands. "I just wasn't expecting to see her. It took me completely by surprise. I thought I was handling life again but suddenly there she was and I was – "

Jarrod couldn't finish the thought. Nick gave him a moment, but words didn't come.

Nick said, "Jarrod, I know how rough the past few months have been for you. If I had known you were coming home tonight I wouldn't have brought her home yet. I've gotten to know her since you've been gone, and I like her, and I was hoping – well, I messed it up."

Jarrod leaned back in his chair with a heavy sigh. "I guess we both messed it up."

Nick leaned forward. "I know Cass Hyatt is gonna be a sore spot for you for a long time, Jarrod, but Amanda is not her brother. This town is gonna take their reaction to her from you, if it gets out she's Cass's sister."

Jarrod watched his brother closely and listened closely to what he had to say.

So Nick went on. "I'm not gonna tell you it's time to get over it and move on. I promised I'd be with you on this lousy journey, however long it takes, and I meant that and I will be. But maybe, Pappy, taking Amanda along with us might help you get where you need to go."

Jarrod's gaze fell, but he said, "You might be right. I just don't know if I can do it yet. Do you intend to keep seeing her, Nick?"

Nick wasn't exactly sure what to say, so he said, "I want to, if she wants to see me."

"You're afraid she might not want to see you because of me?"

Nick nodded.

Jarrod sat up. "Well, then, make sure she knows I won't keep you apart - I really mean that. The last thing you want to do is turn a girl away because your brother has problems with her. But if she does want to keep seeing you, I think it's best for all of us if you just give me some warning and I'm not around when she is. I'm sorry, Nick. Maybe you're right. Maybe I can come to be more welcoming to her. God knows, I know what Cass has done is no picnic for her either. But right now – I think the only thing I can do is stay away from her and try to at least be more polite if I run into her. It's just gonna take me some time to adjust."

"Fair enough," Nick said. "I do care for her, Jarrod, but I care about you, too. I don't want to see you hurt any more than you have been. I don't want to run out on you when you need me."

Jarrod shook his head. "I won't take it that way, Nick. I'll just steer clear if you'll give me warning, at least until I see if I can be a more decent human being about this."

Nick didn't like the way Jarrod put that. "Jarrod, just because you're having trouble with Amanda and me doesn't mean you're not a decent human being."

"I'm still figuring out what kind of human being I am, Nick. But I don't want you to stop seeing Amanda because of me. Don't do that. This is my problem, not yours."

"All right, but Jarrod - "

"No, Nick, go on home. I'm all right," Jarrod said. "I'm just gonna stay here tonight."

"You don't need to. I've brought Amanda back to town. Might be better if you come on home."

Jarrod shook his head. "No, Nick, I just need to be alone for a while. I won't drink and I won't go off the deep end. I promise. That's not what this is about."

Nick got up. "I'm holding you to that, Jarrod. And I'm gonna be right back in this office tomorrow morning to make sure you're all right."

Jarrod looked up at him and nodded. Then he rubbed his forehead. "Don't worry. I'll be here. I'll be fine."

Nick turned and went out, and for a moment he wondered if he ought to check in at the hotel, but he decided he needed to take his brother at his word. Jarrod wouldn't go off the deep end. He'd be all right.

Nick went back out to the buggy, and gave one more look up into Jarrod's window before he left. He could still see his brother's shadow against the window. Jarrod hadn't moved.

But Nick knew right then and there that he could not just go home. He had to go see Amanda. He took the rig as close to Harry's bar as he could find room at a hitching rail for, and then he climbed out and tethered it there. In a moment, he was heading through the doors of the saloon.