Disclaimer: You-Know-What about You-Know-Who owns You-Know-Which story :D

Author's Note: I have rewritten the previous chapter a little bit. After six years, the cliches I had in there sounded a little bit stupid. I am basically writing this story to experiment with writing styles and also trying to get a little bit of experience writing an anti-hero. If you don't like the story, don't read it. Just don't fucking complain.

HARRY POTTER THE PLAYBOY: REBORN

CHAPTER 2

Harems

July 31, 1985, Harry's POV

It's ironic that I could remember my past life but not a lot for the first 3 years of my new life except for a few feelings and a few faces. Even occlumency, famed for giving photographic memory prowess hadn't helped. It was probably for the best, since I was just an infant shitting and pissing myself and just crying a lot. The next 2 years had been good though. I thought I would have to build up my fame and try to become a celebrity during my Hogwarts years since it was very useful in picking up witches. But apparently, having a powerful magic core the size never seen before made me a bit of celebrity already. Not to the extent of Boy-Who-Lived, but definitely to the extent of Glideroy Lockhart. My power level should have been private information, but I had saved my parents through accidental magic when Death Eaters attacked us immediately after the fall of Voldemort and an excited healer-in-training had babbled to the newspapers after I had been checked over on that day. The fact that not only my core is huge but it would only grow more as I grow up to 17 and reach magical maturity just made me more famous. I would probably reward her with a gift if I ever meet her.

I didn't realise Bellatrix would've targeted the Potters like how she did with Longbottoms in my previous life, but from what I heard, James Potter and Sirius Black were renown Aurors right after the Longbottoms. I am mostly happy she did though except for a small detail that I try to forget. I got famous and dad got promoted for apprehending them. Sirius got promoted too but he quit the force to take care of Alex. That has been a surprise. Apparently, Marlene McKinnon wasn't killed by the Death Eaters but went into hiding after finding out that she's pregnant with Sirius's child. She did die with a magical illness a few days after the fall of the Voldemort and Gringotts had contacted Sirius about Alex. I wonder what happened with Alex in the previous life. Lucius probably smothered her after Gringotts contacted him since Sirius was in prison to get the Black lordship. Fucking prick. I should arrange an accident for him as soon as possible. It should free up Narcissa a bit to my charm too. She was an excellent fucktoy and an even better lay once she fell in love with me even though she's a bit older than what I would normally prefer. She had come to me to help her and Draco as Lord Black and Man-Who-Won after my victory to escape Azkaban. I being the ruthless shit I was decided that she should suffer atleast a bit and demanded her body as payment for my help. And no, me being an inexperienced boy looking to experiment and learn about the body of the fairer sex didn't factor into my decision at all. First, I had used her body however I had seen fit to break her of her haughty attitude, mostly consisting of pounding into her from behind with all the frustration I had acquired during the day dealing with the other lords and ministry lackeys. Then, I started learning how to pleasure her with her guidance and experimenting what each spell in Voldemort's sexual arsenal exactly does in a bedroom. My favorite is the one which gives the amount of pleasure equal to the pain the target is suffering. Su Li especially loves that one, the kinky bitch she is.

Coming back to Alex, her full name is Alexandra Isabella Black. She's less than a month younger than me and is a bit of a curious child always following me everywhere. I being the gracious person I am, allowed her and we ended up doing everything together. Unfortunately for me, this means I will not have a double lordship and thus there will be no fidelity clause exception in any marriage contract that will be signed by House Potter. Looks like I will be forever a bachelor in this life. A marriage by love would always expect fidelity and I wasn't planning on that. I was hoping to get Daphne with a marriage contract for a dual lord here too and maybe even a bit earlier than last time. You can bet everything you have that my eyes will still get a bit glazed whenever I remember the times I gave her a massage with oils. Slender long legs combined with a splendid tight arse that I can spend eternity kneading and thrusting myself through. Her figure is definitely one of the best I had ever seen and trust me, I had seen a lot.

Remus's POV

Harry had liked my gift. It was a personally charmed exploding snap pack for him and Alex to play whenever they get together, which looks like almost everyday these days with Sirius taking up more and more duties of Lord Black. They were playing on the couch of the living room while we were still at the dining table drinking a bit of firewhiskey, or a lot of firewhiskey in case of James and Sirius. They were well into their fourth glasses ignoring Lily's stink eye and getting a bit more like raucous youths rather than the gentlemanly lords they are.

Ah, Lily. It had been a few months since I last visited the Potter residence, and she'd started the evening berating me for not being a more frequent visitor. After some placating on my side, she had finally calmed down and started talking about what Harry had been doing since my last visit. It had always been like this, and will always be like this. She would talk about nothing but Harry to her friends. Harry is the apple of her eye. I had never seen or heard her deny anything Harry had ever asked. Some people who knew Lily from her school days would be a bit surprised to learn of her behaviour now. She'd always been a perfect and disciplined student. Giving anything to a child whenever he asks for something would never be considered discipline. But those would never understand what a dark infertility curse cast by a dangerous Death Eater like Bellatrix Lestrange would do to a mother. Lily had a lot of hopes of having a big family and they were all squashed with a single spell like how a mighty god would squash an upstart human.

The Lily I knew from before would never allow her younger than five years child to ride a full size broomstick. But the Lily after that night had not only bought a new top of the line broomstick when Harry had asked for a ride on James's broom but also hired a private tutor to teach him and Alex how to fly it every evening while she keeps a careful watch on them without blinking with her wand out and ready. Harry's a prodigy though and didn't need much help to start zooming around the field doing seeker maneuvers a grown man would envy while his mother looks on like a proud lioness. Harry's a prodigy in almost everything else he learns too. Sirius would swear that Harry had understood his antics when he was but a babe. I had seen his intelligent emerald eyes back then too and would laugh a little bit at James whenever the topic comes up and everyone resolves that he must've inherited it from Lily since James was a dunderhead during childhood.

"— and then he just reached with his hand while on his tiptoes and took the cookie jar. He's growing taller and taller faster." I turned back to Lily for her to finish describing the latest escapade of Harry Potter, Alex Black and the cookies.

"Yeah, Alex looks like a runt beside him. It's all the quidditch training he is doing." Sirius laughed after taking a sip of his newly filled glass. Most probably his fifth glass and he's definitely drunk.

"Alex does the training too." James smacked his hand at the back of Sirius's head and guffawed while pouring a glass of his own. "Harry's always good at stuff. So, no wonder he's good at growing too," James smiled proudly like how only a father could be proud of a son.

"Yeah, he's got good looks and he's a quidditch prodigy too. The girls will just mob him. By the time he graduates, he will have a harem." Sirius said with a wide smile.

I see Harry perk up on the couch from the corner of my eye and look at us. "What's a harem?" he shouted.

"Yeah, Sirius. What is a harem?" growled Lily.

"Harem is something only a manliest of man would have. Every man should strive for it and it is a symbol of a great man." declared Sirius without realizing the danger he's in. James wasn't that drunk and had already realized the grave Sirius was digging a few seconds ago. He had elbowed Sirius sharply and only then Sirius understood what he said to his godson of five.

Sirius started whimpering when he looked at Lily who had her wand out and a curse ready on her lips. "Lilyflower, please —"

"A Harem sounds cool. Mom, I want one," stated Harry as if he was ordering a cone of ice cream. 'He definitely saw Lily angry with Sirius and decided to prank him. Cheeky bastard.'

"Okay Harry. It's getting late. Why don't you and Alex go upstairs and start getting ready to sleep. I will come by in a few minutes," answered Lily back in a calm tone.

Sirius was looking for escape routes looking left and right with his eyes while I watched Harry and Alex make their way upstairs.

"Sorry Lilyflower, I was a bit drunk and didn't realize what I was saying," Sirius started begging as soon as the children left.

"Yes, you didn't." said Lily while looking a bit different at Sirius. I knew that look on her face. It was her 'thinking hard' face.

"Whatever hex you are trying to think of unleashing, can you please not focus on my bits?" begged Sirius like a prey before predator.

Lily dropped her wand hand accompanied with a sigh of relief by Sirius. She smiled a little bit "No, I won't hex you. I think you helping me is going to be punishment enough."

"Help you with what?" asked Sirius guardedly.

"Building the harem, of course."

"Wait, what?" said James. Both him and Sirius had the same startled looks while I was wondering what's happening.

"Harry asked for a harem and I will give it to him," said Lily. And there it was, the Lily who would destroy the whole world if her son asked for it.

"But Lils, Harry is only going to be lord of one house, we haven't seen a dual lord since a 150 years. It would be illegal for him to marry more than once."

"Well, that's what Sirius is going to help with. Changing the law."

"I would choose the hexing my bits option rather than working with those bumbling bureaucrats," said Sirius resignedly.

"That is why it is a punishment," smirked Lily.

"I was rather hoping to do a marriage contract between Harry and Alex in a few years," said James while looking at his glass dejectedly.

"You can still do that. She will be a part of the harem," waved off Lily with her hand while Sirius looked with the same startled look he was sporting previously.

I smiled as I realized that this was definitely an interesting birthday and Harry's life is only going to get more and more interesting.