If I Could Fly

Chapter Four

"What does it mean to be free?"

"To be free is to have wings, but never feeling the need to use them."

Author's Note: I'm so sorry for the late update. Theres been a lot going on in life for me recently. Thank you TheNightShinobi for editing this chapter for me.

There was a comfortable breeze sweeping through the air. The trees here were taller than the buildings and clutersred together in a protective thiket around the village. The porch swing squeaked as the rusted hinges struggled to keep pace with the rhythm of my foot shovin g against the porch. I looked out over the backyard to my mother's house, fuming with rage. How could she keep something like this from me for all these years? Why did she keep this from her all this time?

"Guess the cats out of the bag now, isn't it?"

"All this time, you knew that we were...and you didn't say anything?" I turned my head and my my brow creased. Junko leaned up against the door frame. Her dark, long hair was stringy with water. She'd changed into a long black skirt and a sleeveless green top. Her tanned skin was marked with scars and bruises. I clenched my jaw and glared at my own, smooth pale skin. How could this be happening?

Junko stretched and popped her shoulder, letting out a satisfying sigh. She turned to me and gave a small, apologetic smile. "It was better this way. I never even knew my father. He was a conquest when she was on a mission abroad in wind country. She could never claim me in the Yamato-compound-she loved your father-but they never would have been able to get married if they'd known who I really was."

I folded my arms across my chest and refused to meet her eyes, "You could have at least told me. It bothers me that all these years, I was raised with privilege while you were reduced to a common guard by the elders-" Junko snorted and held up a hand to stop me.

"I'm not. I saw how they treated you. I heard all the nasty things they said. I watched you constantly try and keep up with their demands, their expectations, I would rather meet my fate on the battlefield that go through any of that."

I hugged myself tighter, "All those times you saved my life... I always thought you were doing your job, protecting me."

Junko sat next to me on the swing, resuming the back and forth motion with a gentle push. "That was part of it. When mom left, I asked to stay behind," at my shocked expression she laughed. "I told her it was my job to keep an eye on you. She didn't want me to to, but i was 15 and so sure I could handle it on my own."

We didn't say anything for a long time. I fidgeted in my seat uncomfortable. On one hand I was ecstatic, I had a sister! But I was sombered by the knowledge that I no longer knew how to act around Junko. Not to mention...there were times I hadn't been so kind to her.

"Hey, onee-san," the word was foreign in my mouth. "Thank you." I flickered my gaze over to her to gauge her reaction. At the use of the title she visibly stiffened. I froze in spot. How could I be so stupid? I probably made her uncomfortable-

Her face broke into a wide grin and she grabbed me roughly and pulled me in for a bone crushing hug. I let out a yell and she dug her fist into my head painfully.

"Breakfast!" mom called from inside. Junko shoved me off the chair and headed inside telling me to hurry up.

Laying on the ground in pain, I could help but smile. I turned over on my back and inspected my pendant. The pearleasant stone glimmered a rainbow of colors in the sunlight. My heart squeezed painfully, but I embrace the feeling, because the ache meant that I was alive. I wished with my whole being that grandmother was here with us. That the four of us could live happily in this village for the rest of our days-all of us together again. She had sacrificed herself to save me, so that I could live. I swiped at my eyes and got up from the ground, hurrying inside.

I would honor her memory.

It was three days later when mom shoved a change of clothes into my hands and ordered me to change. As I breathed in the smell of fresh linen, I wondered if we were going somewhere? I was eager to take a tour around town. After spending so much time confined in one place, it was almost overwhelming to have so much freedom. My days were unsupervised, and left to be planned however I saw fit. I'd train a bit with Junko here and there, but even she had been going out more and more on her own.

The komon was alittle past my knees and a soft sage color. White flowers stained the hem and sleeves, and the fabric was the perfect weight for the climbing heat outside. It was a little old-probably my mother's from a few years ago-but that didn't bother me. I tied my hair up high and secured it with a bira-bira hair pin. The hairpin was one of the only things I'd kept from my pack before tossing the entire thing in the trash. That, and a withering yellow flower I had pressed between the pages of a book under my mattress, hidden from prying eyes. I gave myself a once over before joining my mom down in the kitchen.

"Are we going somewhere?" I asked between spoonfuls of the congee she'd made for breakfast.

"Not we, you," she placed a small satchel of money in front of me."You don't have any clothes, and I have to work today. Don't come back until you've spent everything here."

"You mean, you want me to go on my own?"

Mom nodded sagely as she scrubbed the pot in the sink. I groaned internally; I was eager to explore, sure, but I wasn't eager to get lost roaming the village. I handed over my bowl and made my way into the front hall to pull on my shoes.

"Oh and Sayuri, one more thing." My mom poked her head around the corner, narrowing her eyes. Blue orbs burning with fire, "If you see that no-good Jiriaya Kurosawa, stay away from him," she warned.

I scowled. Jiriaya had saved my life on the road, he was a bit strange, but didn't seem harmful. "Okka-san-"

"I mean it Sayuri." She warned, leaving no room for argument. If there was once thing I didn't want to do it was get her angry. The thought alone made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I made a mental note to ask Junko about this later and opened the front door. My hand came up to shield my eyes from the bright sunlight bathing the land before me.

The village was just as bustling with activity as when I first arrived. A few people stopped to send curious glances my way; taking a look at the people around me, it was clear that I was terribly overdressed for a shinobi villiage. It set me on edge to be so out in the open, but I gradually grew more comfortable. Junko had explained that new people were coming and going all the time, and I didn't seem to stand out too much.

There were children running around in the streets playing different games, their mothers giving them exasperated looks as they paid for groceries an other household items. Old men sat out on their porches smoking or reading the paper as the smells from various food stalls permeated the air. It seemed like everywhere I looked there was some type of business open for the day. The first store I went into was a simple clothing store. I picked out some necessities: an oversized cotton t-shirt with a cartoon rabbit on it for sleeping, some house slippers, a few skirts and tops. There was a pink kawaii faced sleeping cap that was impossible to resist. I picked things randomly because I liked the color or print and didn't stop until my arms were overflowing. I paid for the items and a small fee to have them delivered.

Satisfied, I left the shop and counted my remaining funds. I still had quite a bit left, so my next goal was to pick out some things for my room: a few stuffed pillows, a blanket decorated with little rabbits- and then, feeling accomplished, I decided to spend the rest of my time walking around town.

I was rounding the corner past a dango seller and his cart when I ran right smack into another person. I staggered and ended up dropping my purse in the dirt. The stranger bent to pick it up and handed it to me with a smile. He was a younger man, maybe around Junko's age. By the lack of headband I could tell he was a civilian. His short brown hair and boyish features weren't anything special, but he exuded a very cool and suspicious air.

"I'm so sorry, sir," I apologized bowing my head. He gave a small, smug laugh that did not reach his eyes. Depsite his casual attitude something about the stranger made the hair on the nape of neck stand up in alarm.

"I should be the one to apologize miss, I wasn't paying attention."

"SOJIRO-KUN!" Someone yelled and barrelled into him. A young girl with short, red, curly hair latched onto him.

"Ouch! Don't pull on me Emi-chan!" he grimaced. The young girl pouted and let him go.

"That's no way to treat your future wife!" Emi sassed with her hands on her hips. Sojiro looked ready to keel over with embarrassment as she glared at him. She made a noise of surprise and turned her gaze on me. "Who the heck are you?"

I smiled and offered a polite nod of my head, "Greetings, my name is Sayuri Ya-" I paused, I was no longer in the Land of Moon. It would be safer to use another name. "Ito. Sayuri Ito." The duo gave me a confused look, but I did my best to ignore it.

"Pleased to meet you Ito-san, are you new in Konoha?" Sojiro asked earning him another scowl from his fowl tempered fiance.

Feeling slightly uncomfortable with the interaction, the sun was already low in the sky signifying that I needed to return home soon, I replied as politely as I could muster. "Yes, I am. I'm trying to learn my way around."

Sojiro smiled, "We can show you around if you'd like, right Emi-chan?" the red head folded her arms, clearly annoyed. Sojiro paled.

"I guess so. I was hoping you and I could spend some time together alone though," she whined.

"T-That's okay!" I stuttered, "I need to be heading home soon anyway."

"Nonsense! My dream is to be an ambassador someday, it'll be good practice for me," the smarmy tone of his voice set me on edge. Internally, I wanted to smack him across the face, but doing so went against everything I'd been taught for over ten years. I felt panic swell in my chest when the strange man went to gripped me by the arm pulling us away from the crowded marketplace.

"Sayuri-chan!" a voice called out to me. .

"Onee-san! " I hurried to Junko's side, she looked between me and the duo. Then added in a low whisper, "Thank goodness you're here."

"I was meeting up with a friend of mine in a bit. You should come with me," Junko glared and Sojiro flinched. "Who are you two?"

"Sojiro Takeda," he said nervously gave a thumbs up and nodded at Emi who was drowsily leaning against him, " and this sleepyhead is Emi Watanabe."

"Pleasure to meet you, but we've got to be on our way," Junko smiled. She grabbed my sleeve and pulled me after her.

"Bye! See you around," Sojiro smirked and walked arm in arm with Emi away from us.

When we were a good distance away Junko released me and made a 'tutting' sound of disaproval. "You should be more careful who you talk to. If anyone recognizes you it could mean big trouble."

"Don't worry, I told them my name was Ito instead."

"Still," she continued, showing her hands into her pockets. "What are you doing out here anyway? You shouldn't be alone."

With a frown I held up the little pouch of money, "Okasan told me to go shopping."

Junko took the bag from me and peered inside. Her face red with anger and she opened it for me to look. Where the coins had previously been, was now filled with small rocks. "Looks like your new friends just played you for a sucker. I know the Takeda clan personally, they don't have any male relatives our age."

"He was lying through his teeth the whole time," I whispered in awe. I could tell there was something off about the duo, but I never even saw him touch the money for more than a second.

"You shouldn't trust people so freely. You can never really be sure what someone's like just because of how they appear," Junko dumped the contents of the bag onto the ground and stuff the empty sack into her pocket.

I frowned as we continued to walk toward the center of town. Remembering my question from earlier I turned to my sister, "What do you know about Jiraiya-san?" I mumbled. Junko smirked and gave me a knowing look.

"What about him?" she teased. I blushed and looked away. Why did she have to say it like that? Honestly...

"Okaa-san doesn't want me to talk to him. She wouldn't tell me why though. He seemed nice enough, I don't know why she doesn't like him."

Junko laughed and paused outside of a large, noisy building. From the window I could see many people lounging around the bar or getting cozy together in private booths. "For the same reason any parent would be be protective: he's a ladies man!"

"What?" I raised a brow at that. He seemed a bit strange, yes, but he'd been very professional and focused on the road. He struck me as someone who was very thoughtful and respectful.I did'nt picture him to be like that at all.

"How should I put this?" Junko wet her lips and continued. "A ladies man: a cad, a philanderer, a flirt, a skirt chaser. If trees could giggle and toss their hair like a schoolgirl then there would be no forest safe from his seduction tactics. Understand?"

"Are you sure?" I said softly with a scowl. She nodded and I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach. "I think I'm going to head home now. I'm not feeling so well…" Without another word I walked past my sister and up the were people milling about in the waning light. Some of them heading home, other to taste the delights Konoha offered only at night.

After a few minutes I slowed my pace and tried to calm down a little. I had never admitted it, but I had hoped that I could become closer to the white haired shinobi. Despite everything that had happened, and relocating to a new village in a new land, I still hadn't been able to make a single friend. It had never truly bothered me before, because there was never anyone who I wanted to become close too. But as the sea of strangers flowed around me, ignorant to my existence, a gnawing ache of loneliness overcame me. I furiously swiped at my eyes and tried to control my breathing.

To my left, two figures stumbled out of the bar. My heart leap into my throat as I recognized who it was. I was rooted to the spot, unable to move. Jiraiya was stumbling out of the lounge, clearly intoxicated. He was leaning against a blonde woman with a curvaceous figure. The woman looked annoyed with him, but still had a small smile peeking at the corner of her mouth. I couldn't look away from him, and the woman peered at me curiously before laughing.

"Looks like you have a stalker Jiraiya-kun. Well, there's a first time for everything I guess."

In that moment I wished for nothing more than the ground to open up behind me and swallow me whole. I felt like I could die right then and there from embarrassment.

"You okay kid? You look like you're going to hurl..." the blonde woman looked thoroughly concerned.

"Y-Yamato-hime!" Jiraiya blushed and nearly fell over as he stumbled toward me. He reeked of sake and cheap incense, probably from the smoky bar behind him. Slowly, and with great effort, I lifted my gaze until our eyes met. It was the first time I ever properly looked at his face. The wide panes of his cheeks and forehead, all angles, smooth skin marred by red lines dripping from his eyes. His eyes, a deep almost black color, gleaming red, blue, and green in the colored lights strung up on the building. He was easily a foot taller than me, with a medium well muscled build.

"What's the matter, don't tell me you've already forgotten who I am? Geez, I'm not that unmemorable am I?" he laughed and gave me a wide, warm smile. Something tightened painfully in my chest. In truth, his smile was a welcome sight in this sea of strangers. We weren't close, we weren't even friends, but here he was happy to see me…

"I...I…." I couldn't think of a single thing to say. Stuttering dumbly, I realized how much of a joke this entire situation was. I was bound to run into him at some point: he did live here after all. But all I could hear was the echo of my mother's warning in my ears, ringing louder than any temple bell.

"Are you lost, kid? This idiots useless right now, but i can help you home if you want," the busty blonde woman said. That's right, she had come out of the bar with him...maybe they were….she was his... his arm slung so casually around her shoulders, their bodies so close to each other with familiarity. He was so kind to me on the road. Jiraiya had saved my life… and without ever realizing it, I had wanted to see him again.

But not like this.

My vision grew watery, the lights on the street grew blurry with every passing second. Without another thought I turned and ran as fast as I could toward home. Not stopping even when I heard him call out my name.

"Did something happen in town?"

"No…"

My mother shuffled around my room, picking up some of the new clothes I had thrown around in my frustration. The covers were tightly wrapped around my body like a protective cocoon. Shielding me from the mid-afternoon rays of sunshine, my mother wielded a spatula. She'd finished reviewing mission reports for the day and had sent them back to the Hokage Tower to be processed, leaving her free to pester me.

"Are you sick?" She fussed, reaching a hand under the covers to check my forehead. I retreated further into my shell, like a turtle, to distance myself.

"I'm feeling fine, just a little tired," came my gruff reply. I was hoping she'd get the message and leave me alone.

Akane Ito was no fool, she hummed in disapproval before heading toward the door to leave me in peace. "If you need me I'll be in the office. We'll order out for dinner tonight, kay? Anything you want," she smiled.

"Where's Junko?" I mumbled, ignoring the rest. My sister hardly spent more than few hours home a day. Most of which she would spend sleeping.

"Be patient. She left most of her friends when we moved abroad. I'm sure once she's done getting caught up she'll make time to spend with you again."

I pulled the covers tighter around me. I was being selfish, and I knew it. Junko had been my constant and sole companion for ten years. Ten years, separated from her only family and all her friends in a foreign household. It's only natural she'd want to relax and do what she wanted for a change.

The door shut and I was once again left alone in the uncomfortable silence. I fussed with my necklace, turning the stone over in the light and watching the colors shift from reds and pinks to cool greens and finally blue. With a sigh, I let it alone and hefted myself up in a sitting position. On the window sill sat an old, weathered book, Purinsu's Guide to Prose. Listlessly I grabbed the volume and lazily flipped through the pages until I came upon what I was looking for. The yellow flower had seen better days, surely. The withered, dry petals still retained some of their vibrancy. The sweet smell lingered, hanging on with gentle urgency.

I allowed my mind to briefly wander to more uncomfortable, dark thoughts other than that rainy day. With no small amount of contempt, I pondered how many girls the white haired ninja had given flowers so freely. A reputation like his well- my mind was working over time. Why did I bother to hold onto the dying thing, when it so obviously was given with no meaning behind it. Thoroughly annoyed, I snapped the book shut, crushing the flower between the pages. I dropped the book roughly back onto the sill and turned over in my bed. Pulling the covers over my head, I hoped sleep would chase away the hollow feeling in my chest.

The covers shifted violently off my body, exposing my skin to the cold morning air. I bolted awake in panic and sat up quickly the blood rushed to my head. Dizzily I flopped ungracefully back onto my pillow, groggily I glared at the smiling figure hovering over me.

"You have some nerve, onee-san."

Junko laughed before grabbing me by my shoulders and violently shaking me, "Do you plan to stay in bed all day, imouto?"

"If it pleases me." I mumbled. I freed myself from her grasp and curled into a fetal position for warmth. I heard her snort tersly, the bed sagging under her weight as she sat down.

"Well, if it pleases you, I would like to take a small excursion into town. Wanna come?" she said haughtily. I looked at my sister wearily. It all the year's I'd know her, she'd never had such a carefree attitude. She was usually so stern and serious it was almost scary to see her in such a good mood.

Suspicious, I formed my hands into a familiar seal and whispered, "Kai."

Junko growled. I scurried away from her into the corner of the bed in fear as she began shouting, "Is it so strange that I want to spend time with you that you'd think you're in a genjutsu?"

"N-No! It's just you seem so happy and not like-" I slapped a hand over my mouth before I could finish the thought. It didn't make a difference, She already knew what I meant. With a sigh, she deflated in defeat.

"I know that I'm not always the most lively person to be around. I've spent so much time being tough I'd nearly forgotten what it's like to be truly, and unapologetically happy."

"Did something happen?" I yawned and popped my shoulder. Junko gave me a creepy smile making me freeze in place.

"I'm happy because, Koseki didn't forget me. Not only that, but he remembers his promise."

"Koseki?" I asked in confusion. Junko waved off my impending questions.

"You can meet him if you want. I'd like you to, that's why I want you to come with me today," she said sheepishly with a blush. With a small confused look, she grabbed the book off the floor and started to fan through the pages.

"Hey! Wait, that's not-" I tried to get it away from her but it was too late. She'd found what I'd kept hidden for nearly two weeks.

"Is this the flower Jiraiya-san gave you? You've kept it all this time...huh," she said cospiratally.

I grabbed the book from her and sat on it. I felt the blood rising to my face in embarrassment, "I-It's not like that I don't even know him-"

"But you want to-"

"And even if I did-"

"Which you obviously do," she laughed. I gritted my teeth in frustration and gave her a steely glare.

"Okaa-san doesn't want me to talk to him or anything. She'd never approve of any kind of friendship between us. I'm not so sure I even want to get to know him anymore." I added softly. Junko's face dropped. I told her what had happened outside the bar and the air was silent between us for a second before she placed a hand on my head and patted gently.

"Okaa-san worries about you so much. Living with your father's family did nothing to help you. They did their best to keep you cut off from people, to keep you a naive little sheep," Junko furrowed her brows in disgust, "A guy like him with a repuation...she's concerned he could take advantage of you."

"Do you think he's really like that?" I blurted out, regretting the words as I spoke them. They sounded like a confession to my ears. A confession to emotions I did not even fully understand myself.

Junko scratched her head and sighed, "To be honest, I've never had a problem with him. But if you don't like him, then I don't like him."

"I see," I slumped. "Thank you for being honest with me."

Junko grabbed me by the arm pulled me out of bed behind her, "However, you need to form an opinion for yourself. To do that you need to find out the truth. Don't just listen to what everyone else has to say, and never assume that things are what they appear to be!"

"W-Where are we going?" I scrambled to not fall over as she dragged me to the bathroom.

"You are going to get prettied up, and then the two of us are going to find him-"

"No! Absolutely not!"

"Girls, is something going on?" our mother called from the doorway to her office. Junko and I went pale before crying out in unison:

"Nothing!"