another night.A/n Ehhhhh. Maaaybe Goblet of Fire….? I just feel like at this point I should have a time stamped out and started… Or at least an idea of a year… I don't know. This story is more of a writing therapy than anything else.

I do hope you enjoy it though!

From Regret and an Impulsive Heart.

She just needed some time alone, Hermione reasons to herself although she meant to express it out loud as passed by those who greeted her warmly.

She was almost jogging down the rocky hilly path by now.

Her feet almost matching the racing of her heart.

Pulling off the scattered stone steps, Hermione starts off to a secluded location between the castle and the lake where rocks jut out of the grassy, boulder scattered ground in sharp points like a forest of oddly shaped trees.

"Hermione!"

Ginny, Hermione realized and felt terrible when her heart fell into her chest. She slowed her steps but didn't stop them, allowing Ginny to catch up with her.

When she felt her hand cup her arm, she twists around sharply.

"What!" Hermione snapped far harsher than she meant to.

Ginny's face fell away and Hermione quickly picked herself up.

"Merlin! I'm so sorry, Ginny!" Her heart almost wept as she apologized to her friend. "I don't know what got into me."

"That's what I want to talk to you about!" Ginny tried sadly. "I'm scared for you, Hermione. How your acting..."

She looked into her friend's eyes and saw that Ginny cared, and yes, she did know how much her silence was hurting her friend. But what could she do? The darkness was so thick already and Hermione didn't want her friend, her so kind and innocent friend to fall into the same despair that she was in.

She wouldn't curse this feeling on Draco Malfoy himself. Not even after everything he's said.

Ginny was still young and had not experienced half of what her brother, Harry or she had. She couldn't understand what was going on, or what she was feeling.

She hurt for so many things.

She hurt for Harry, who was cursed with a life he didn't deserve or ask for and all the constant pain that came with it. She hurt for Ron, who wanted to be the brightest and the highest but was shoved into a life of seconds and shadows. She hurt for her family who didn't understand and that she saw that she was losing. She was hurt that no one remembered her birthday. She was hurt everyone remembered Harrys. She was hurt for those who she watched around her suffering greatly. She hurt for Professor Snape.

She hurt all the time about everything, and in all honesty, she didn't know how to handle it and knew if she couldn't, neither could Ginny.

"Ginny, please, I don't want to talk about this."

"Hermione, Please!" She pushed back, "I know you're hurting and I see how painful it is in your eyes. The last time I saw you really happy was.." The fact Ginny needed to think about it stung Hermione in the heart. "The Quidditch World Cup and.." her voice faded as the night was remembered.

"Ginny. I'm fine."

Ginnys face suddenly turned very hurt. "And now you're lying to me."

Hermione quieted and looked away. Her heart began to hurt again and for some reason, it just made her mad.

She wanted her silence.

She wanted her time alone, now.

"Please, Hermione."

Something in her mind snapped as did her tone and voice.

"Look Ginny! I said I'm fine! But if you really wanted to help me! You could just sod off for Merlin's sake! Bloody Hell!" Her voice was louder than she meant and by far greater in anger.

Ginny's face fell. "Well," She sniffed. "I'll be here if you want to talk. I love you, Hermione. You're my best friend."

"Yeah. Okay, thanks." She regrets everything about what she said as soon as she said it.

Hermione looked away so that she couldn't see the younger girls hurt face, and so that Ginny couldn't see hers.

A heat boiled when she didn't go. "Get out of here!" She almost yelled at Ginny who took off hurrying away.

Hermione let out a few heavy breaths as she stepped away and leaned her back against one of the tall stones. She didn't know why she just did that. She didn't know what came over her or made her so cross. It was just another pain that would grow in her.

From within the small gather of tall stone points, a dark chuckle erupted. She spun around and from behind a pillar stepped no other than, Professor Snape.

She didn't say anything, she only looked away embarrassed, her cheeks reddening in front of the man who sneered at her.

"That was all a tad harsh." he imposed.

"So you do have conscious limits to bad behavior," she whispered too loudly, regarding his own abusive temperament.

He said nothing, but when she made to come closer to the rocks, he quickly stepped out of sight and came out the other side of the stone. She watched him walk out of the gathering, and land a fair distance from her before wrapping his arms around his back.

"I'm not standing in a secluded section of anywhere with you, Ms. Granger." He informed. "Though, before my departure, I wish to give you some professorly advice."

Something struck her. He stood straight but his shoulders were loose. His face was stone, but the corners of his expression were relaxed.

"Did you just say, "Professorly?"

He faulted. She saw it, he knew it. He faulted just every so much before watching her eyes turn towards the stone he had been behind. She wanted to announce her victory in catching him again and mention his obvious mistake. But instead, she said something different.

"What's the advice?"

He's quiet for a few seconds, elevating her before dropping his defenses enough to speak again. She watches him in this moment, watches his strong jaw tighten and his fingers curl uncomfortably as he did when he wanted to leave a situation. She noticed his...

As if he knew she knew what she was thinking, he interrupted her and finally answered.

"I suggest you utilize the presence of those who care enough to ask and furthermore, bother to persist."

That was all he said and she kept her eyes on the grass ahead of her as she thought what he said over as he passes by.

"Professor!" She called aloud, stopping him in his steps a few yards ahead of her.

She watched him twist and turn to face her, eyebrow curling as his response.

"What if I don't know how?"

He was far enough away that whatever he said could be heard, but they were far enough away from anyone else to be heard anyway. Still, he stood silently for a moment, but stand he did. He was thinking, and Hermione just waited quietly.

"Five points from Gryffindor for being a waste of time." he turned and walked away.

She stood there in what she couldn't really call dumbfounded, because in reality how he acted was not out of the ordinary. Getting Professor Snape to give emotional advice… Well, that was as rare as seeing a vampire in the day. It just didn't happen, and Hermione reasoned that she shouldn't have been as surprised as she was.

Finally alone where she had wanted to be, somehow she didn't want this anymore as space felt cold and empty. She shivered and eventually walked away as well.

From Who That Can't Fathom The Current Situation

All around him the sound of dishware clinks hundreds of times and echos against the hundreds of topics from the many different people, all at different tables, all at the same time. Private but social, strangers continue to sweep past and knives glint in the low candlelight as tables rotate people again and again.

This of all places was not a place for him and the only reason he was there was because of the woman who sat across from him, delicately eating from her plate while he sat with only a pint of beer before him.

Her name is Koan. And he hates her presence less than many other beings.

He is not forced to have her in his life. He is not forced to be where he was sitting now. She had invited him to meet her here a week ago, and he had said yes but why she asked was beyond him. Why he asked her here the time before that time was further lost by him. But she had asked him the time before that one, which again, made no sense to him in the slightest.

She wasn't talking. Something he would feel strange about if she would have talked all that much the other nights they had shared a spot in gut-churning chaos. They were quiet, and within their quiet, he had found a sense of calmness.

Koan was like him when it suited her but she was more like a blanket of smoke under a burning fire than anything else.

Like a blanket of smoke under a burning fire….

That's a good one, and if he was anyone else, he would have said it aloud but he didn't. He kept it in where it belonged.

Together, they stay until her plate is empty and his beer mug had filled then emptied again. During this time, she even gets him to eat something. A bite off her fork, but still more than he expected.

She doesn't mention it.

She never does.

He notes that she smiles three times. Twice towards him during their few conversations that night, and once towards her own plate.

Even though he wouldn't read her mind, he knew she wasn't smiling at the meal.

At the end, the two would pay down the middle because they would fight over it if were any other way. They would leave together and they would walk aside the snow-covered business hugging sidewalks with their flickering lit windows that contained books, artifacts and the occasional tail flicking cat. They didn't speak much at all in the few hours they were together, but once the lit path was met with the breaking night, she would turn to him as she crossed the line.

Here, she is the night and he is the day, but she smiles at him still, something warmer than anything he could produce.

Four.

"I had a wonderful time, Severus." She says quietly, as she shifts her weight and meets his eyes.

"As did I." He nods his head. The only movement on his otherwise stiff form after his hands are slipped into his jacket pockets.

It's not awkward for them, he hopes. Their departure was not an event that was usually drawn out or emotionally compromising, but in its own way, was happy and left open for further communication.

He's about to turn away when suddenly she says something new.

"I was wondering..." She stops as he turns back to her and resets his posture. He can tell she's slightly embarrassed but he knows she will continue. "I know you don't get another night off for while, so I understand if you don't…"

He notes that she is rambling but patiently waits, watching her with his hands in his pockets, and hood over his head.

She suddenly stops talking and smiles at him. A warm smile that matches her eyes.

That's five.

Closing her eyes she points her smile away and starts again with a small laugh.

"Severus, next time you're available, do you think I could treat you to one of my home cooked meals."

It's quiet again.

"Severus?"

He doesn't like that she's so nervous so he pushes something out.

"I don't think you're allowed to use the restaurants' kitchen."

It was a stupid reply, but a reply that made her laugh. Laughing was good, but he still looked away.

"I meant at my flat."

He doesn't answer her. He only nods and she smiles again.

Six. A record.

"Well, goodnight, Severus Snape."

"Good Night, Koan VaLaier."

He watches her fade away into the darkness and magic of her travel and waits until he stands alone, his toes on the edge of the light. He sighs into the chilly darkness before turning around and going back to the pub for another drink or three.

Woman always seemed to stress him out.

The Padding the Worn Floors.

He's found his old bedroom again.

A spot he hates and never goes into.

He's found the corner his back always slides down just the same way.

He holds her picture.

A girl he once kne and loved very much.

A girl he will never see again.

A girl that if she were even still alive, wouldn't want to see him anyway.

Who was he?

Sirius Black.

Was that it?

Just a name?

…..Was he dead?

He had never killed anyone.

He had never cut off a man's finger..

Completely..

He smiles when he thinks of Snape and the time James shut the door so hard on his fingers they heard them crack.

James…

He'd rather it have been Harry than James.

He'd rather it have been Remus than James.

His eyes spring open and his breath catches in his throat.

He didn't mean that... He did but... He didn't.

He loved Remus. He loved him in this confusing way that didn't make sense but a feeling they had both felt mutually for a long long time.

Him, gay? Now, that would be the last string and he should just turn in his last name and ask for a new one right then.

Although…

Running his fingers down his chest, he feels when Remus touched him there. Cupping his hand he rubs the side of his neck as the memory breath warms his skin. He remembers Remus in ways he will never remember James.

Well, that's not true.. But it wasn't the same. He knew that for sure.

In a mess of both toxics and weakness, Sirius stands and stumbles to a table he never seems to stray too far from and falls to his knees before his vice.

Well, if there was anything to take away from all this, He thinks to himself as he gropes the table, if I can give the greasy git one thing, it would be that he sure knows what makes all those thoughts go away.

Sirius drowns on the wooden floor of his childhood bedroom, lost inside a beautiful place that was his.