Chapter III
Bella on the Hunt
Bella stood in the field, located behind their house. She was standing still, her face tilted slightly upwards towards the gray clouds. It was overcast, and a slight breeze was blowing.
She had not gone to school for several days. Of course Edward and Renesmee had continued to go every day as normal, and of course they thought Bella did too. The truth was, Bella did not exactly know why she had not gone. It was not, for example that she was depressed, that she felt tired, or that she felt sick - in many ways on the contrary. She simply did not feel like going. She felt as if there were 'other things' pressing on her - some vague, gray things somewhere in her mind that she either desired to do or must do. When Edward had asked her about her day at school over dinner, she had looked at him and said "Not bad," with her elbows resting on the table, and hands clasped together. "You seem a bit spaced out," remarked Edward, smiling as he rose from the table. Bella realized she had been staring at him for quite some time, leaving her food untouched. That was all. The next morning Edward and Renesmee had once again gone out as normal, and Bella, staying behind, had come out into the grassy fielded area behind the house. Closing her eyes, Bella took a deep breath through her nose, as if drinking in the air. Bread baking, smoke, sea-salt, the leaves - and blood, human blood. She could smell it all.
She had, of course, always been able to smell the blood of humans. But she had never allowed herself, could never allow herself, to indulge in it. And absolutely never to act on it. To do so would be to not only endanger herself but also her family - her family, whom she loved. And yet...She was more than her family, more than the sacrifices she made for them. Bella Swan loved Edward, loved Renesmee. She was Edward's wife, and Renesmee's mother. Sacrifice, born of love, she felt, was necessary in securing happiness. And yet...She was also Bella Swan who was driven - driven by her own desire, her own wants. Perhaps, she had never fully discovered these desires, these parts of Bella Swan that were separate from her family, or apart from others. Many were perhaps dark; many unknown - but they were still a part of who the woman Bella Swan was. She had the power, the right, to discover what these unknowns within herself were - she felt this; she began to believe it. All she need do was reach out her hand. There could be consequences, yes. But she would face them as all of herself - this had to be better than running from them, in fear, as only half of her true self. She never wished to hurt Edward; but at the same time she could not now deny herself something, deny parts of herself for fear of doing so. No. That wouldn't be right either. Nothing has changed, she thought to herself. In this last point Bella was however, for better or for worse, completely and utterly wrong. The wind blew softly through the nearby tree-line, and the leaves rustled as if in countless whispers.