Author's Note: Thank you for your encouragement, it really helps push me onward! I am so in love with these characters it just fills my heart up! Thank you for being patient! Let me know what you think, it really helps me! I'm having mixed feelings about the chapter but I'm happy enough with it! My longest chapter for this story so far, too! Enjoy!
Warnings: Language, OOCness, Un-beta'd.
Disclaimer: I own nothing!
Word Count: 7, 236
It's Moroi daytime when I fell asleep, and while it's been a long time since I've slept while Lissa was awake. It reminded me of the copious nights when I finally let my guard down while at St. Vladamir's Academy and latched onto Lissa while she was in the middle of doing the nasty with Christian. Traumatized, isn't exactly an accurate way to describe how I felt. Frustrated, both emotionally and sexually both helped make it a more apt description, though.
Thankfully, it's the late afternoon for Moroi society and that means the day is in full swing for Lissa, and it's not her pleasure that pulled me to her. In fact, it's her frustration.
"What part of this is so hard to grasp?" Lissa rants, stalking back and forth crossed the sitting room attached to Christian's bedroom. She waves her hands around her head as she talks as five sets of eyes watch her go. Christian, Mia, Mikhail, Sonya, and Dimitri all sit quietly and watch as she paces back and forth, venting away in annoyance at the meeting she just got out of with the Royals, and by the feelings of anger and annoyance circulating through my longtime friend, it sounds like the Royals barely made it out with their lives.
I search through her feelings and thoughts and realized that I could have guessed why she was so upset. It's the same thing that riles her up every time. She's fighting for equality for Dhampir and Moroi alike, and to try and someone stem the growing numbers of Strigoi and the drastically decreasing numbers of Guardians. She feels like she is constantly having this argument over and over again and it's starting to really grate away at her nerves. She's said it about a thousand different ways and yet she can't figure out why no one seems to get this.
The Moroi don't need to do anything, the Dhampir are the ones that need to step up, at least that's what the Royals think. And if the unroyal Moroi ask for anything, they are being selfish. It's never their fault, it's always someone else's. And Lissa hates that. Hates that the Royals think that everyone else is so beneath them. Non-Royal Moroi are second-rate citizens and Guardian's are only the protectors that exist in the mantra of seen, not heard when on duty and not seen or heard when off.
It boils Lissa's blood in a way I can't explain. And she's fighting real hard against the urge to use compulsion on them all to force them to see it her way. But that's dishonest and cruel. She's trying hard to be the bigger person, but they aren't making it easy on her.
"They still aren't listening?" Mia finally asks, cutting Lissa off, mid-grievance. As Queen, no one would dare speak against her, at least in her presence, but this was a safe space where they were all equals.
"Yes!" Lissa gasps, dropping down on the couch next to Christian, finding comfort when he runs his hand up and down her back. She's happy and feels a bit better to be able to be around people that she can be herself and not worry about them saying anything to anyone about this. Just like they were safe with her, she's safe with them.
"What are you going to do?" Mia asks, sitting between Sonya and Christian.
"Keep fighting," Lissa says, sounding tired. She lays her head against Christian's shoulder, grabbing his other free hand to cradle between her own. "There isn't much else I can do. I just hope they will start seeing reason soon. Maybe.. maybe I need to go about this in a different way..." She rubs at her face, exhausted.
She looks at Mia once her hand drops onto Christian's, whose brows are furrowed in thought, to Sonya, who was staring off into space either lost in thought as well or simply having a Spirit moment. Lissa realizes it's the latter when Mikail reaches out from where he's standing behind the couch, to touch her shoulder, giving a squeeze. It pulls her back, making her blink a few times before looking over at him curiously. And lastly, Lissa's eyes settle on Dimitri, also standing, like Mikail, but he's got his back against the nearest wall with his arms over his chest, head bowed and peering at them through long, dark lashes.
"If there is anything that we can do to help, don't hesitate to ask," Mikhail says softly, squeezing Sonya's shoulder again when she reaches up and takes his hand, holding it at her clavicle.
Lissa offers him a little smile, appreciative of his words. She knows that they have her back. "Thank you, Mikhail."
"If it'll help," Christian says, "I could light a few of those pompous assholes up a bit. Nothing too dramatic, just their hair or something. No one ever has to know that it was me."
Lissa looks mockingly aghast at his suggestion, knowing that he wouldn't make good on his word unless she actually asked for it. And while a little, dark part of her mildly considered it, she knew that she wasn't ever going to ask that of him. Mia, on the other hand, looks greatly amused by his words.
"I could pull all the moisture from their skin and make a clear, visible bubble of water in front of them with it and they would still blame you on principal alone," Mia snickers. It's crazy just how true that might be. I would like to think that the Royal pains in the ass would at least be smart enough to not blame anything other than fire oriented on Christian, but at this point in my life, I willing to believe just about anything.
"I... appreciate the gesture," Lissa says coyly, "but that won't be necessary. Besides, don't forget that there are two Guardian's here that might have something to say about your threat, no matter how benign."
Christian's smart-ass personality definitely wouldn't take that sitting down, no way. He looks between Mikhail and Dimitri as if he had mockingly either forgot that they were there or that they were Guardian's at all. "Come on," he says, looking back over at Lissa, "Mikhail's Moroi is nonroyal Sonya Karp who if anyone gets the chance, looks down their plastic surgery perfect noses at and Dimitri's is me. The social pariah of all Moroi royalty." He pulls his free hand not behind her back to wave up and down at his person. "I mean, other than you, as of late."
Lissa glares at him playfully, slapping his chest. "Thanks for that."
Christian shrugs, smiling handsomely in Lissa's eyes. "Hey, I like my girlfriend like I like my queen, with a little bit of a rebellious streak. So keep on going against the grain, you little delinquent." He winks playfully at her, while Mia mock gags beside him.
"Get a room, you two."
Christian gives her a droll look. "You're in my room, Rinaldi."
Whatever else Mia was about to say gets caught in her throat at the realization. Sonya giggles at the teasing, seeming to be the only one in relative peace by all of this, still holding tight to Mikhail's hand at her clavicle.
"I'm just saying," Christian continues, leaning back into the couch, getting comfortable as Lissa looks over her shoulder at him, "I'm not sure we are in any danger of either of them saying or doing anything at my remark. I mean, I'm pretty sure they like us a hell of a lot more than any of those pompous assholes, anyway."
Dimitri, nor Mikhail, responded to that, but Lissa had to partially agree. She knew that while the two of them were Guardians. Great, powerful and dutiful Guardians. They were also friends. She knew that what was said in this room wouldn't leak outside by any of them, but she still didn't want to put either of them into a tight situation.
"True," Lissa admits, "but we are deviating from what's important here. As annoying as this situation is, there has to be some way to work with the Royals and push toward a more fair, harmonious future for us all. Strigoi are always going to be a problem, I'm afraid, but that doesn't mean we can't take more preventive measures in order to keep ourselves safe."
The room is silent, everyone digesting her words.
Then, "I could still light them up," Christian offers before extending his hand out in front of him, pressing his middle finger and thumb together, "and they would stop being an issue, like that!" He snaps his fingers.
Lissa frowns disapprovingly, faintly annoyed that he wouldn't let this go, when Mia adds, "We can do a bit of water and fire action. You light them up, I drench them. They don't want to listen?"
"I light them up again," Christian muses, looking pleased to have a partner in crime.
"Rinse, lather, repeat," Mia says. "No pun intended."
Christian laughs, "And I'm sure if we ask nice, we might be able to get some back up for the particularly feisty ones."
"We'll leave that to Rose, her dad's a mafia boss, he's probably already taught her a thing or two about - what did she always say? - oh, knee breaking," Mia says, jovially before she jerks in surprised, realizing what she said. But it's too late. The words are out there, hanging in the air like a toxic fume that everyone was breathing in. Absolutely lethal.
Lissa couldn't stop the stab of pain go through her at the mention of me. Speaking about me or thinking about me, especially with people who knew me well and loved me a lot, rubbing at a sore, bloodied place in her heart. But it wasn't herself she was worried about. It was Dimitri. His entire body went absolutely rigid with my name. His posture had already been somewhat closed off - as he has been slowly cutting himself off from people for a while now - but this was a safe place. This was amongst friends, and his face has lost all semblance of emotion as his body went rigid.
At that moment, Lissa's thoughts notified me of how bad the situation had really gotten with my boyfriend. People are idiots, really dumb, idiots and I won't ever claim to be the most liked in the world nor do I think I deserve to be, but I'm pretty well liked around Court. Or, at least, well enough. And my relationship with Dimitri - along with his status as godly - is well known throughout our ranks so people are respectful enough to keep their mouths shut around him in regards to me. However they may feel.
But people are stupid and sometimes some jerk gets it into his head to say something about me or in reference to me, not knowing, or caring, that Dimitri is around and paying attention and it draws him into a conflict.
Lissa has... covered for Dimitri more than one would assume a Queen should. It's why she's moved him from regular patrol duties and from being alone too often. She likes keeping Dimitri's and my own friends around him - they would be sensitive to how he feels - so that the incidences stop happening. But Lissa is afraid. Afraid of the rage and pain swirling around inside of him. Enough to slice through his normal composure at the single mention of my name in a less than favorable light and into a fit that wound up with both men having to be separated from one another.
And I've fought Dimitri before. In training to be a Guardian, during my trials in school, when he was Strigoi and even once we were both Guardians and are honing our skills, and he is not an easy person to fight. I'd imagine he's an even more difficult person to restrain.
Staring at him now, Lissa is scared. Scared for Mia, especially, seeing as how teeny tiny she is in comparison to him, but also for Dimitri. It's one thing to go off on some asshole dhampir who's talking shit in the halls, but it is another thing to go off on a friend. A Moroi one at that.
Mia looks downright petrified. No amount of water magic or training from the Guardians are ever going to put her on Dimitri's level. He's too big, too strong and too pissed off. Poor Mia probably weighs about the same as my right leg, and Dimitri has got a good bit of weight on him than I do, especially in his height and muscle. He could crush her like an accordion if he wanted to, and she knew it. Plus, who doesn't tremble even a little bit at a 6'7 angry Russian made up of pure muscle and rage?
Lissa's entire body tenses up, looking at Dimitri's eyes, ready to use compulsion to calm him down if need be. She doesn't like using it on friends, finding it greatly unethical, but she wasn't going to let Dimitri hurt Mia because one, she didn't want Mia to get hurt and two, she knew when he finally settled down, he would never forgive himself. And that might just be the straw that breaks the camels back.
Lissa's deepest fear is that Dimitri is going to end his life. It swirls around inside of her like a raging maelstrom. She doesn't want to think about it, but with his sunken mood and deep depression and quick spirts of rage, she's so terrified of what might happen. Her fear shakes me to the core. I had never once thought about that ever being a possibility for him.
Dimitri always seemed so strong. So in control.
But then again, I knew him better than anyone else. I knew how frail of control he really had. I had exploited it a few times since we met. He's not as collected as he would like people to believe he is. And Lissa views him as infallible, even after everything that we've been through, which makes her fear like ice sliding down my spine.
Mikhail has pulled his hand away from Sonya and is staring at Dimitri, eyes sharp and ready, if he makes a move, Mikhail will meet him halfway. Sonya stares at him too, a keen look in her eye, the sharpest she's appeared in a long time. She has finally managed to pull herself from the Spirit-induced dream-like state that she was in for a while.
But Dimitri doesn't move. He looks frozen in place. Like my name stunned him. Or his brain is overloading between fighting his powerful, well-ingrained instincts to protect and the newly forming condition response to react violently to my name.
"You know..." Sonya says slowly, her blue eyes sliding over to Lissa, using Dimitri's battle against himself for time to try and turn the conversation somewhere else and defuse the tension. "it's unrelated, but I've been hearing whispers..."
Mia glances over at her, cautiously, face as white as a sheet in fear. "Sonya... I thought we talked about this..." She does seem thankful, though, that the older woman has tried to move on from it.
Lissa hesitates to look at them, not sure if she should pull her eyes away from Dimitri just yet, but her eyebrows do pull together. She doesn't like that something is going on that she doesn't know about. But she's glad that her friends have their ears to the ground to help keep her informed. Plus all of them want to try and get away from this situation as quickly as possible.
"We should tell her, Mia," Sonya says, looking at the young blond with half-lidded eyes now. She seems to feel more comfortable looking away from Dimitri than Lissa was. More trusting, maybe. "It's bound to have to do with something."
"Or," Mia interjects, staring back at Sonya, doing everything she can to avoid looking at Dimitri, in hopes that the shift in conversation will settle his anger, "it could be nothing. Or maybe it's opening up old wounds. Er, well, not so old, I suppose. And probing an already annoyed and angry lion." She glances over at Lissa, contemplatively. "Look, Lissa, I wouldn't worry about it right now. There is still a lot that we don't know and I don't want to add more to your plate than you're ready for."
"I'll decide what I am and am not ready for," Lissa says angrily. This entire situation has made her so mad, now her friends are keeping stuff from her. She calms down almost immediately, looking into Mia's eyes. She knows that the younger girl is just trying to look after her. A dramatic shift to how Lissa and Mia used to feel about each other when we first returned to St. Vladamir's Academy.
"What's going on?" Dimitri's voice is deep and flat. He raises his head up a bit, the light from the room showing off the darkness around his beautiful brown eyes. There are hard lines set on his face that I don't remember being there. And he doesn't sleep. Not much and not for long. I don't need to delve deeper into Lissa's mind to see that. To know that his rage and his pain has been getting to him in the worst possible way.
He is working nonstop. He picks up multiple shifts in a week. He hardly goes back to his - our - room anymore. He's doing anything to keep busy and Lissa has heard the Guardian's talking about him. People are worried. She's especially worried. She knows he's running himself ragged and she's terrified that he's going to hit his breaking point and he's going to be all alone.
Hoping to be sneaky about it, Lissa has tried to keep Dimitri with people she trusts. He can't always be with Christian, seeing as it's not necessary for a personal Guardian to always be on standby when they are in Court but anything he does outside of protecting Christian, she tries to have him with her or working alongside Mikhail or other Guardians that she knows for certain will look out for him. Dimitri's friends, or my own. People who understand and will protect him.
It is obvious to all of them that his health is failing and he's taking me being gone very bad, but they tip-toe around him like a ticking time bomb. With lack of sleep and proper bodily care, his personality has grown more strict and no-nonsense oriented. He tries to keep in control. He tries hard not to make it obvious that he's falling apart but it's not working anymore. People are noticing it's only frustrating him more. He's not the type of person who likes to be doted on or sympathized with. He's strong and capable.
But he's sad. He's so sad. So heartbroken. Lissa is just glad that he's still showing his face around Court instead of hiding away in our shared room. She would prefer for him to be where she can see him, it doesn't mean watching him spiral downward isn't hard.
But his voice, with those three simple words, was enough to drop the temperature in the room. He doesn't appreciate Sonya and Mia dancing around the issue, but still has enough control of himself not to outwardly glare at anyone. But he is burning a hole through the wall above Lissa's head, trying to reign in the annoyance coursing through him. Through Lissa's eyes, Dimitri's aura is dark with anger and pain. He's trying so hard to keep in control, but Lissa can see it plain as day. Our promise and his love for me is tearing him apart.
I am ashamed. I am so deeply ashamed and angry at myself I almost pull away from Lissa, no longer able to look at him. He and I are so alike. We were both so angry, so afraid when we lost each other that it tore us apart. It fractured relationships and shredded our common sense day by day. It was one thing to hear it but it was another thing to see it happening. I could almost imagine myself as Dimitri. I didn't want to listen to others, I felt like I was being held back by others trying to stop me from fulfilling our promise.
And even when I thought I killed him and then learned that I didn't, I made so many stupid mistakes to try and get him back to me. We are insane when it comes to each other.
Mikhail looks concerned for Dimitri, probably seeing what I'm seeing. It's slow but sure. Dimitri's starting to lose himself. Out of any of our friends, Mikhail is the one who understands us the best. What I did for Dimitri, what he wants to do for me, it was the same as what Mikhail tried to do. What he tried to do for Sonya, the love of his life. But Sonya was no longer Strigoi, she was by his side Moroi once more. Freed from her torment - well, sort of. But Dimitri doesn't have such relief. His control is slipping bit by bit. All of them want to help them, but they don't know how. It's unusual for Dimitri to be the distraught one. To not be the strong one. They don't really know vulnerable Dimitri. No one really does. No one but me.
Mia looks over at Sonya, a bit unnerved. She's not truly terrified of Dimitri, she knows he wouldn't actually hurt her, but she feels the same about me. She's tiny. She's a little thing and standing in front of me, I tower over her. My right leg weighs more than she does, and Dimitri is bigger than I am. She's not afraid of him because she thinks he'll hurt her. She's just a very tiny girl who's being stared down by a very big, very angry and pained Russian Dhampir. He hasn't forgotten her earlier comment, but he does seem to have settled down a bit.
At least he's not swinging at anybody.
Proving to have a backbone made of tougher material than anything I've come across in my life, Mia is the one who answers Dimitri, looking up at him through long lashes, "There have been whispers that the Strigoi have been seen moving around in large groups. Which isn't too out of the ordinary in recent history, but word is... these groups are mingling together. They are becoming massive in size."
"Define: massive," Christian says, leaning forward. He had been quiet since Mia's slip up I almost forgot that he was still there.
"I've been hearing some range between fifteen and twenty," Sonya says slowly, "and I've heard that there is a particularly large group that is somewhere around seventy-five, almost a hundred."
"Strigoi?" Lissa gasps, eyes wide. "Or Strigoi and their helpers?" Because there was a very, very big difference between those.
"Strigoi," Sonya says. "Who knows how many underlings they've got under their control?"
Lissa runs her hand over her forehead a few times, feeling another headache start to build up there. She feels Christian rubbing her back again, offering her comfort that she latches onto. "This is just getting so much harder by the day," Lissa whispers.
"They are just rumors, Lissa," Mia says slowly. "We don't know how much truth there is to them just yet."
"True," Lissa agrees, turning his soft green eyes toward Mia's light blue, "but where there is smoke, there is fire."
I pull back into myself, staring at the ceiling above my head. I feel this raging torrent of emotions within me. A lot of anger and pain and worry twist like a dagger in my gut at everything. Missing my friends, seeing Dimitri in the state that he is, and concern for these rumors going around. Either Mattias and his group wasn't good enough to be welcomed into the Strigoi gathering, or I wasn't there long enough to have realized that something more was brewing over the horizon.
For now, though, I need to rest. I close my eyes and let sleep take me.
We left on the evening of the following day, once the sun went down so that I wouldn't burn to a crisp while trying to get into the car after helping carry our luggage. And like that, we are back on the road. Asland stood guard all night so that Pavel could sleep. I'm not sure if it's a control thing, or if Asland is secretly a very bad driver, but Pavel has refused to let him drive at all this entire trip. Either way, the car is relatively quiet with the radio playing softly some music in a different language while Abe types away at his phone, Pavel drives and Asland sleeps in the passenger seat.
And me? I spent my time staring vacant-eyed out the window, hating that I can't just go out and do something. If we so much as crack open the window, I could go up in flames, let alone stepping outside to get rid of some of this excess energy burning inside of me. Okay, maybe I won't just light up, but still, any direct sunlight is going to hurt like a bitch.
I spent a lot of some looking down at the phone that Abe gave me, now cleared of all of his illegal activities he had been using it for. I spent a lot of time just looking at the very few photos he had in there. And almost every single one of them had me in it. His cover photo had been my mother and me, but there were five other photos in there and the only one that didn't have me in it was just of my mom.
Janine Hathaway staring at the camera with an amused look on her face. She was decked out in full Guardian attire with a half smile on her lips. The light is flattering and she looks gorgeous. I can see Moroi and Guardians behind her, probably a party of some sort that he ran into her and took this photo at.
One was the picture of Abe and me in the hotel room. One was of Lissa, Mia and I all posing together for Mia's dad. He was so happy that Mia had made such good friends in Lissa and me - which is ironic, considering I was a very bad influence on everyone I surround myself with - but Lissa was definitely a catch being the newly minted Queen of the Moroi. Mia was in the middle, dwarfed by Lissa and me. I'm in Guardian attire, Mia is in a beautiful floor length silk blue dress and Lissa is in a fully blown ballgown looking like a Disney Princess.
One was of me standing with a group of Guardians, talking about the shift change. My mouth is half open, and while I have no idea what I'm saying but I doubt it was too enrapturing, but all the other Guardians were looking down at me, as most were male, like I was the center of attention. Even amongst all these men, I looked powerful. I looked strong. I looked unstoppable.
And the last one was of Dimitri and me. I'm in the same dress as in the picture of mom and me. We aren't touching, just looking at each other. Our backs are somewhat toward him but he's got a good side profile of our faces as we look at one another. Dimitri has a beautiful, happy smile on his face that crinkles the skin around his eyes, while he stares down at me with his left hand reached out, touching my hip. I'm laughing about something, showing off my natural teeth line without the newly added fangs to go with me predatory status, with my right hand wrapped around his forearm. I don't remember who touched who first. To be honest, I don't remember him touching me at all during that party.
I wonder how many other innocent, unknowing touches have been shared between us.
I close the phone and slip it into my leather jacket pocket before resting my forehead against the cool window, watching the dimmed out landscape go whizzing by through the tinted glass. I listen to the sounds of Abe calling and talking to all sorts of people - in Turkish, so I don't understand him - sounding like a smooth criminal.
Somehow, whenever he's on the phone talking, I can only imagine it's shady dealings with one person or another. He's got a lot of pull and a lot of connections with all sorts of people, shady and legitimate. And it just so happens he's versed in many languages. Some of which I didn't recognize but I understood him speaking Turkish, Russian, English and a small bit of Spanish. I didn't know who all he was talking to or what it was all about - other than bits and pieces of the Russian that I knew and English - which didn't offer me much. But whatever it was, it was important.
"Rose?"
I fell asleep, but Abe shaking my shoulder woke me up. We were driving another day. I fell asleep at some point and felt us stop but I figured it was another pit stop before we hit the road again, and didn't even bother to open my eyes when we stopped, not wanting anything or caring where we were, but now that Abe was calling for me, I snap into awareness quick, assessing the area.
It's the middle of the day for Moroi so it's still dark out. The car is empty and Abe is standing with his door wide open, peering in at me.
"Where are we?" I ask, squinting through the tinted glass and darkness trying to get a lay of the land but finding it hard to make anything out in the cloudy night sky.
"We've made it to the safehouse. Come on," Abe says, waving his hand before closing the door. I open up my door and step out into the cold night air, looking at the huge, daunting building before us.
It's a gigantic warehouse off the beaten path with some sort of large, secondary building attached to it. A three-story building that has rows of windows attached to it. It could pass as some sort of apartment complex connected to this warehouse. It was an odd looking structure that definitely has not been in use for a long time. But there is a bunch of lights on in both buildings a handful of top-notch cars all parked around the building, some with the back hatches open with bags and supplies and machines in them.
But it looks rundown. Some windows in the large warehouse look busted out and parts of the siding are falling apart. It may not have been used for a while, but the upkeep before then had to of been pretty lenient too. A harsh breeze could take it down. The apartment part of it is probably the only reason this building hasn't crumbled yet.
What the fuck is this?
"Am I about to walk into an underground fight club or something?" I ask, closing the door.
"Oh yes," Abe says, walking around the car to stand beside me. "Out in the middle of nowhere. My bets are on you, though, my dear."
"Or is this where the knee breaking takes place?"
Abe huffs. "At one point, maybe. But it used to be used by Guardians and Moroi to study certain aspects of our world."
I stare at him confused. "What does that mean? What do they study in this warehouse? How to fast tetanus can kill a dhampir or Moroi?"
Abe quirks an eyebrow at me, folding his hands neatly in front of him, admiring the building before us. "Among other things," he says, breezily. "But the upper warehouse is just a cover, Rose."
I whip my head around to stare at him. "This dilapidated piece of shit has an underground facility?"
Abe looks amused. "Don't judge a book by its cover, Rosemarie."
There is a loud bang from inside of the warehouse portion of the structure, and some people talking. Yelling to be careful that the equipment was expensive, which only confused and worried me more. What have I agreed to?
"They'd better be quiet in there," I warn him, "or they might scare away all the cockroaches."
Abe looks confused. "Cockroaches?"
I glance over at him. "Yeah, building this old, cockroaches have to be ninety-five percent of the structural integrity of the facility. The last thing I'd want to do is spook them and they go running. The place would collapse. The damage would be devastating. Think of the carnage."
Abe rolls his eyes, shaking his head. "It is purposeful that the facility looks like this."
"Sure it is," I mumble.
"Come, Rose," Abe says slowly, watching me intently from the corner of my eye. He is studying me again. "Here we are going to figure out the full extent of what is different about you and how to best change you back." I knew it before he said anything. The people here, Moroi and dhampir, were hired to help figure this out. I can see in the darkness around the facility that people are walking about, surveying the land. Guardians, if I had to guess. I wonder how much one would have to be paid to willingly come face to face with a Strigoi. It's a miracle that Abe has any money left over.
Paying a Moroi to do it would be hefty enough, but paying a Guardian to not simply kill them? That had to be more than even that. I still can't believe that eighteen years without Abe has felt like nothing in these last almost two years. He's made himself such a huge part of my life in such a short amount of time, it's almost like he's always been there.
"I don't know if this is going to work, Abe," I say, looking up at the warehouse, wearily.
"We shall see," Abe says, touching my back and gently nudging me forward toward the door on the side of the building that we are parked next to. It's wider than a regular door but not the big door on the left side of the building where they would unload all the big stuff in from. The lights are on in the room, casting out into the darkened night as Abe and I walk up in through the door and into the warehouse.
It was like the entire room sensed me, for any noise was halted almost immediately. All eyes in the room - and there had to be like thirty people in the huge room - turn to me and Abe.
The very first person that I noticed was Sonya Karp, standing in the middle of the room. Her eyes locked with my own and she studies me curiously before a beautiful smile spreads across her face. She reaches down to touch the back of Mikhail's neck, who was laying down some large medical equipment that he was helping another Guardian carry. He looks at me with large, blue eyes like he couldn't figure out who he was staring at for a moment there.
I wonder how I look to either of them. Can they see the small pieces of me that remained the same even though I'm now Strigoi? My face shape? Body shape? Outfits I favor? Or do they see a monster wearing their friend's face? The only strange comfort derived from this is Abe standing beside me confidently with his hand on my shoulder. I wonder if I look at him, will Abe be glaring with that chilling smile on his face? Like he would destroy anyone who dared to defy him? I don't know. But I'm glad that he's here.
The final person, amongst all of the people in the room that were staring at me, the final person that caught my eye was none other than the love of my life and the primary person in my thoughts these last few days.
Dimitri.
He looks like he was coming up a small lift on the far side of the room from somewhere down below - was Zmey telling the truth about there being an underground facility? - his eyes land on me and he freezes for a moment, eyes scanning my body up and down again and again like he couldn't believe what he was seeing.
I took this time to look at him, really look at him. He looked pretty much the same as I left him. Same tanned skin, tall, strong body, with the only mar being on his face. There are bags under his eyes and I can just tell by looking at him that he's exhausted. He's holding himself in such a way that he could collapse in a moment. And that haunted look in his eyes. That's not my Dimitri. This frail minded man isn't Dimitri. I can't believe that I did this to him. I was so absorbed in my own woes I never thought about just how bad he was taking this. I mean two days ago, when I visited Lissa, I knew it was bad, but seeing him now, my heart is broken.
And the way he's looking at me... like his heart is broken. He didn't see the woman he fell in love with. He didn't see the woman that he promised his life to for the rest of our eternity. He didn't see Rose Hathaway. He saw a monster. But despite that, my fingers twitch at my side. I want to touch him. I want to hold him. I want to breathe him in. I want to grab onto him and never let him go again.
The grinding pain in my chest at the look on his face that filled me with shame and hatred for myself was agony and holds me in place. Abe had been lying this entire time. I wasn't his daughter any longer. I was a monster. Not his girl. If I went to him now, I would simply be staked. I was not what he wanted to see.
His pained look suddenly morphs into one of surprise and... hope?
I don't understand why and my mouth won't work, I can't summon any noise.
"Rose..." Sonya says, her eyes wide. "You're... you're... crying..." She looks enraptured.
I reach up and touch my cheeks, feeling the tears wetting my fingers. I look up at the ceiling to see if the roof was leaking, but then I realized that it wasn't even raining outside. Crying? Was I crying? Strigoi can't cry.
I run my hands over my face, not understanding. How is this possible? How is this happening? I've never seen a Strigoi cry and judging by the look on everyone else's faces, no one had either.
"Roza..." Dimitri whispers so softly, yet I heard him. He could have been in a roaring crowd and I would have been able to hear him anywhere. My eyes fly up to his and I see it, I see love. That was all I wanted, all I needed.
I don't care if he stakes me. I broke into a run toward him. Tears blur my vision a bit and I wonder if his motion toward me was to pull out his stake and prepare to strike me in the heart. But I don't care. If I die now, I'll die in his arms. He takes a few steps toward me, three I think before I've crossed the room and leap into the air at him.
Stake me or not, I'm ready.
He catches me, arms wrapping around my body. One hand on the small of my back, the other on the back of my neck. Flat, he's not holding a stake. He trusted me. Maybe he's foolish. Maybe I am. Maybe we both are, but at this moment, I don't care. All I can do is wrap my legs around his waist and arms around his neck and squeeze as hard as I dare without hurting him. His hands move, one going across my back and under my butt to help hold me in place while the other is across my shoulder blades to the back of my head, fingers lacing into my hair.
I feel a choking sob escape me as I bury my face in between my arm and the side of his neck. I'm shaking so bad I'm not surprised he had to adjust his hold to keep me from falling out of his arms.
I'm feeling so many things right now. Love, happiness, and relief is some of the strongest. I am so glad that he is here. If he loved me, even a fraction of how he used to, then I can do anything. I will fight any and all instincts if I have to. He was my strength and while I'm sure he's tired and hurt, he holds me so tightly, it's a relief.
"Dimitri, my Dimitri!" I sob, shaking with relief. "Is this how you felt? Is this how it was for you?"
"No," Dimitri says, his voice shaking. "It was nothing like this. I was nothing like you. I was gone. But you, my Roza, my wild girl, you are still here. How are you still here?" He sounds a strange mixture of relieved and perplexed.
"I don't know," I whisper, hugging him tighter. "I don't know. I love you, Dimitri. No matter what happens. I love you."
For the Reviewers:
1. Guest: Haha, thank you! I know, he's such a boo, I love writing him. I feel a bit iffy about this chapter, but overall I like it enough. Thank you, it's nice to know that there are still people out there that like this story! XD
2. stardreamer2608: Thank you! Sorry about the wait! And no, Dimitri has not moved on! XD