The dark room felt stuffy, despite the open door. There wasn't enough air available. After helping Luke back inside, practically lifting him up off the floor, Rey was left sitting on the floor in a state of numb disbelief.
Ben... Ambush.
Two simple little words, so difficult to reconcile.
"It can't be true," she said to the silence.
Something rippled, in her blood, in the air, and she turned, standing up as a tall figure drifted into view like smoke by the door. His hair was messy, eyes wide, face pale.
"You."
The rough voice came from behind her and she turned to see Luke's eyes open, staring at Ben from where he sat slumped against the wall.
"Why have you come back?" Luke demanded.
"Luke, I had nothing to do with it," Ben said, quiet but hard.
"You don't belong here," Luke growled, gaining strength with every syllable.
"Please..." Ben hesitated for the briefest of moments. "I ask your forgiveness."
Through their bond, Rey could feel just how much those words cost him, but also the sincerity behind them.
"Luke, please," she said. "Listen to him."
Ben didn't look at her, but she could feel the acknowledgement of her plea.
"Silence," Luke hissed, and stood up, though the effort made him sway slightly. The room seemed smaller now, the very air becoming denser as Luke swelled, his stance becoming firmer. "I was right," he said, eyes fixed on his nephew. "There is too much darkness in you."
Rey looked around in time to see Ben's eyes widen but then Luke made a flicking motion with his arm and Ben was gone.
He was gone. Gone so completely she couldn't find him at all. Couldn't feel him.
"No!" Rey cried. A twitch, a shudder. Without leaving the hut, she reached for his spark, so distant and dim. Just like he had done for her, that day on the beach, she gripped him and held tight, wrapping herself around his presence, anchoring him.
For a second, he almost reached back, but then he shrugged off her touch and the wave of his emotions made her recoil.
Rejection. Pure isolation. Thrown away by everyone. Again.
She scrabbled after him, trying to find her way through their bond, but it was sealed tightly as he held himself apart from her... from everyone.
Blinking away the residues of his pain, she rounded on Luke, but he was still upright, and his anger rivalled hers.
"You are not to enter the Force current alone. He was just using you to get to me, because you're here."
"That's not true!" Rey objected. "He can turn... If I go to him..."
"No!" Luke cut across her. "I will not allow it." He took a short breath. "It would not go the way you think."
"Did you try to murder him?"
Luke blinked, eyes searching her face. He hesitated for a moment, and then pushed past her, out into the rain that was falling.
Rey was left with an empty room, and an empty thread tied to her wrist, and it wasn't enough.
The first blow caught him between the shoulder blades as he shuffled away down the steps and he stumbled with a grunt, falling to the ground.
It wasn't enough.
"Did you do it?" she cried as he rolled over, droplets that could have been raining trickling down her face. "Did you create Kylo Ren?"
Still he didn't answer but pushed to his feet with surprising speed. She swung her staff again, but there was a length in his hands now and he deflected the blow.
It wasn't enough.
Again and again, she struck, but he dodged her wild blows, ducking out of the way and landing a return strike on her back with ease.
It wasn't enough.
Faster she moved, but faster he reacted, deflecting her every attempt to land a hit on him as he gave ground willingly.
It wasn't enough.
He suddenly had both staffs in his hands, tossing hers aside, but she reached out, feeling something she knew, something that came to her just as it had before, in a snowy forest.
The saber ignited as she raised it high and Luke leapt backwards but not fast enough.
She went still, at last, staring down at him with water dripping from her chin and the ends of her hair.
Enough.
She lowered the blue lightsaber, taking a step back as it went out.
"Tell me the truth," she demanded.
There was a long silence, but Luke's gaze had drifted away from hers, and something whispered to her to wait.
"I saw darkness," he said eventually. "I'd sensed it building in him. I'd seen it in moments during his training. But then I looked inside, and it was beyond what I ever imagined. Snoke had already turned his heart. He would bring destruction and pain and death, and the end of everything I love because of what he will become. And for the briefest moment of pure instinct, I thought I could stop it."
Luke's voice was shaking but whether from emotion or exhaustion, Rey couldn't tell.
"It passed like a fleeting shadow, and I was left with shame. And with consequence. And the last thing I saw were the eyes of a frightened boy whose master had failed him."
Luke blinked as he looked up at Rey.
"He reacted before I could explain. By the time I came round, he was gone."
"He's not gone," she said. "Not yet. He can still turn. You saved Anakin. I can save Ben."
"Rey... don't do this."
For a moment longer they stared at each other, then Rey turned and was gone into the dark rain. Someone had to save him. If Luke wasn't willing to do it, then she would.
.
At the rocky cove that passed for harbour and pier, she jumped down into the little wooden boat, landing with a splash. Closing her eyes, she willed herself forwards, ignoring the oars she had battled with on the way to the island, getting even wetter, if that were possible, as the rounded hull jarred on every rough, storm-tossed wave.
On the opposite bank, she left the boat concealed in a patch of tall reeds, as she'd found it, and waded to shore, pulling off her boots and emptying them of water as she set off towards the place where Han Solo's car was hopefully still waiting for her. What would he think, she wondered for her conviction, her belief in his son? He would agree with her, surely. He had believed until the end.
Holding the fire inside, she reached out, pushing with all her strength against the barrier between herself and Ben. His will was resolute and unyielding. She couldn't get so much as a single thought to him. No matter though. She could feel him, like a compass needle tugged undeniably north. She would find him and convince him that he didn't need to shut her out. That he didn't need to be alone as he had been for so long. As she had been. It wasn't fair. Neither of them should have gone through it.
In a truly good world, a perfect world, of the sort that neither of them had ever known, they would never have had to face any of it alone.
.
.
He felt her reaching, her mind like wisps of smoke against the wall he held up in the darkness of his mind. She was coming closer. Coming to find him? No, that couldn't be it. The world had shown him over and over and over again that he wasn't worth coming back for. He was only good to be thrown away. By his parents, by his uncle, by Snoke, by Luke again... He wasn't sure he could face another one.
And now he was alone. Finally, completely alone. Alone in his head, alone in this dusty old house that had been the closest structure when he couldn't face going any further. It was nice, to be alone. Just want he'd wanted. Wasn't it?
Eyes still closed, he rubbed his face against his knees. Alone was good. Alone didn't hurt. Not so much, anyway. It couldn't hurt as much as letting people in. The thought of another person getting close just to cast him aside again... the idea made his stomach clench with fear and he gave a cold, self-deprecating smile. What would Hux think of that? The mighty Kylo Ren, afraid to let someone in. But Hux was dead now. Maybe Kylo Ren was dead too. Maybe it was just Ben Solo who was afraid.
Afraid of people, afraid of closeness, afraid of love...
His eyes snapped open in the darkness at the two images the word conjured up. His mother. And a scavenger girl.
No, that wasn't true.
He thought of his mother, how he'd felt her presence and hesitated, not pulling the trigger but not calling off the attack either, and then he'd heard the explosion of the rocket launcher next to him, and seen the missile arching through the air towards its target... His mother was gone.
Rey hadn't been there though. She was still alive.
No.
He closed his eyes again. It was a lie. It was wrong. And yet...
Opening his eyes, he lifted his head, wincing against the faint light.
He was so afraid, so very afraid, but if he thought about it, if he pushed through, if he only gave himself space to realise... he's glad she's not hurt. He cares for her. He... loves her?
Surely that was wrong.
And yet... love is never wrong.
Love is balance.
.
.
A/N: I'm disproportionately proud of this chapter, and it's one of my favourite moments, despite not being the biggest. It was at this point while watching Lion King 2, at the start of Love Will Find a Way, that everything finally fell into place and I decided I would actually write this fusion, so it holds a special place in my heart. The lyrics aren't a perfect match, but I hope enough came across and it didn't feel too forced.
Let me know what you thought of this chapter!