When the doorbell rang, Fletcher was already there to answer it. Evening had just fallen. The porch light flickered, and it must have made him look even more frantic than he felt ‒ the two women standing on the porch practically jumped back at the sight of him.

"Asteri! Amanda!" his smile felt too tight, making his sing-song tone all the worse. "What took you so long?"

"What do you mean?" Amanda crossed her arms, "It's only been an hour since we got off work!"

"You only work thirty minutes away! What were you doing the other half hour?"

"Getting dressed, you moron, did you want us to show up covered in sugar and flour?"

"I don't care about that, we have pressing matters to attend!"

"Alright, let's go. Good to see you by the way," Asteri laughed. She stepped inside, punching Fletcher in the shoulder as she went. Fletcher and Amanda shared one more scowl before following Asteri to the kitchen. It was dark outside, but almost no lights were turned on indoors ‒ Nos and Two were out of town, and Fletcher was either too distracted or bothered for bright light. A single bulb shone above the kitchen sink as the only beacon of warmth, everything else dappled in strange shadows by the automatic lights in the garden. It was just enough to see by.

Amanda went straight to the island, plopping down in one of the barstools, while Asteri went to the fridge, opening it to start pulling out ingredients. As jumbled as Fletcher had been all day, he'd at least remembered to keep up his part of their usual arrangement: whenever he invited the girls over around dinner time, he bought the food.

"Fletcher, oh my god ‒ it's like the entire market in here!"

"I need... a lot of advice. I wanted you to have options," Fletcher shrugged, walking into the kitchen. His arms were crossed and he picked at a dent on his elbow, pacing through to the dining room to stay out of the way.

Amanda craned her neck to look past Asteri at the fully stocked shelves. "Did you get any frozen pizza?"

"No way, Mandy, check it out!" Asteri grabbed a package of ground beef and dug into the produce drawer, shuffling through the vegetables. "Let's make stir-fry!"

"But cutting all that up is so much work..." Amanda groaned.

"Fine, you stay there and I'll cook," Asteri rolled her eyes. "If he bought all this food, we might as well use it."

"You can take whatever you don't use home with you, too. If I forget food in here again and let it rot Mom'll have my head."

"If you insist," Amanda beamed, spinning her stool so she could prop her legs up on the one next to her. "You really don't cheap out, bat-boy. If you had a crisis like this on a weekly basis you'd cover our grocery bill."

"I didn't even look at the prices..." Fletcher winced as the thought occurred to him. He tried to remember if he'd kept the receipt, but he quickly shook his concern. It was a small price to pay if it meant they'd help him figure things out.

Amanda clicked her tongue. "Rich boy..."

He threw her a look before resuming his pacing. "PhD."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. You know, you look like you haven't slept in a week," Asteri observed as she put the vegetables next to the sink and pulled out the cutting board.

"...How are you supposed to tell? I don't need sleep, I can keep draining batteries indefinitely."

"You may not need it, but it helps you run better. You look dull and you're all fidgety and distracted. Did you wear that outfit into town today?"

Fletcher looked down at himself. "Why?"

"Your shirt's on backwards."

Amanda laughed, her eyes softening. "You're really falling apart over this. Will you tell us what's the matter already? We haven't seen you in so long, and now that you finally call, you're all stressed. If it's such a pressing matter, why don't you just spill it?"

Fletcher stopped by the counter, eyeing the knife that Asteri had just taken from one of the drawers. "I'd rather start talking about it after we're done with the cutlery."

Asteri and Amanda glared at him in unison, "What did you do?"

"Seriously? Guys, come on, I didn't do anything! I just know you're going to freak out about it. You know what... Quinn?"

"Yes, sir?" the home system responded.

"Would you mind helping Asteri cut the vegetables?"

"So now you ask for my assistance?"

Fletcher shook his head and rubbed his temples.

"Oh, hello Quinn! What's this all about?" Asteri grinned. It wasn't often that Quinn emoted clearly, and that was if they emoted at all.

"Nothing much," Quinn hummed as they extended a thin, segmented arm with three short fingers from a hatch in the wall to take the knife from Asteri. Another arm came out to hold a cabbage in place. "This conundrum he's called you about has been troubling him for weeks, and he's given me nothing but lip when I offer advice."

"Quinn, I'm sorry, but you giving romantic advice makes about as much sense as Dad wanting another cat."

For a moment, everything fell silent. Fletcher realized what he'd said and bit his tongue, prickling with static, holding still as Quinn began a rhythmical chopping and radiated an infuriating aura of satisfaction.

"Romantic advice?" Asteri almost whispered.

Fletcher looked over his shoulder at Amanda, hoping that she would kick in as Asteri's anchor, but she stared back at him with lips parted in awe.

"See," Fletcher gave a shaky laugh, "this is what I was worried about. You probably would have dropped that knife straight through your foot."

Asteri stepped closer to Fletcher, taking his shoulders in her hands and looking him dead in the visor. "Are you having feelings for Darwin?"

Fletcher reeled, his whole body tensing as he choked out, "What?"

"Oh my god..." Amanda gasped, a light going on in her eyes, "You haven't slept with anyone in months, you've been acting weird even longer than that, and every time we've seen Darwin lately, he talks about how distant you've gotten, almost like you've been avoiding him. Two weeks ago you completely fall off the face of the Earth, and now that we finally hear from you again you're all messed up about something... that needs romantic advice."

He looked back at Amanda again. Her dark eyes dared him to say she was wrong.

"Guys..." his voice cracked. He had to think for a while before he spoke again. "This isn't how I planned on telling you, but ‒ okay, you know how much Darwin means to me, and you know I wouldn't ever want to cheapen our relationship! I've been thinking about it for a long time, and I... I just really need your help."

The next thing Fletcher knew, he was between two crushing hugs.

"Come on," he warbled to no effect, "I thought you might be mad... I just want some impartial advice from the only people who know the ins and outs of our situation!"

"What?" Amanda laughed, her forehead pressed between his shoulder blades, "We can't give you impartial advice!"

"We love you, we're as partial as it gets! And Darwin!" Asteri beamed, "Oh my god, this is perfect! Why would we be mad?"

"W-why is this perfect?" Fletcher spluttered.

Asteri backed away first, though she still held on to his shoulders. "You're made for each other! You've been two parts of a matching set since you were kids!"

"You nerds make each other so happy, I just never imagined you'd want anything romantic!"

Fletcher let out something almost like a laugh. "Me neither. When I first thought I might feel this way, it seemed like I didn't have a chance. I... I was expecting you guys to at least be confused, if anything, not excited!"

"It's definitely a surprise, but it makes perfect sense to me! Sit down, man, tell us about it!"

Amanda dragged him back and pushed him onto one of the stools at the island, sitting down next to him. He rubbed his hands over his face and split into a smile. "This is so embarrassing. I don't know how it happened, whether this was building up and I didn't notice or if I woke up one day and realized, but..." he laughed a strange, defeated laugh, "here I am!"

"How long have you known?" Asteri asked, thumbing through the drawers for another knife.

"I don't know. I really... can't tell? I've always loved him. I never feel like I need to act when I'm with him, we've practically lived together for years, we know everything there is to know about each other. I didn't think there was anything else left, he's a part of me, but one day ‒ " Fletcher gestured in a crazy combination of energy and exhaustion, slumping into his barstool so that he hung precariously over the edge. He rolled his head onto his shoulder and looked over toward Amanda. "I was scared at first that something was wrong with me."

"What d'you mean?"

"Like, it doesn't make sense that after all this time I'm just feeling this now. I was worried that some wires had crossed and it was just sexual, some sort of glitch. That's why I started avoiding him. I mean, it's not like I hadn't thought about it before ‒ hell, we've talked about it before! But there was something in that moment that I couldn't really appreciate at the time, mostly because I was freaking out about the whole thing. We were at his place, and I woke up in his bed because we'd fallen asleep while watching videos the night before, and when I saw him... listen, you guys know me. I love where I live, I love my family, but looking back on it now, I had never felt so at home in my entire life as I did in that moment."

Asteri had stopped chopping half way through a carrot to clasp her hands to her chest, eyes shining. "If you didn't even realize it then, what happened? How did you figure it out?"

"...Don't laugh, but I was in our repair room. Quinn was running detailed diagnostics and Mom came up to see what I was doing. I was almost too embarrassed to tell her. Since I thought it was just physical and everything else was panic, I didn't want her to think I was feeling something shallow for Darwin. When she finally got me to crack, we ended up talking for hours. She wasn't trying to convince me to do anything, she talked to me about what it was like when she fell in love with Dad and tried to help me work through everything and really think about what I was feeling instead of dismissing it as an error. The diagnostic came up clean."

"Leave it to Fletcher to assume falling in love is an illness," Amanda chuckled.

The hybrid rolled his eyeforms and shook his head. "This has probably been a long time coming. Maybe even since we realized that the venom had never properly merged with Mom's OS."

"What does that have to do with anything? I hadn't even been born then," Amanda said, picking at the sliced vegetables as Quinn and Asteri worked.

Fletcher smiled, but his visor was dark. "It wasn't a great time to be alive. None of us knew if Mom was going to make it, and for months, everyone on Darickson's team was totally dedicated to rewriting so much corrupt programming, it took over our lives. Dad was with her constantly, and I'd never seen him so stressed. I saw him cry once. It wasn't just tears, either, like... sobbing. Weeping. I don't think he knows even now that I saw him. I was a wreck too, but he was going through something different. I couldn't believe it when he was back by her bedside a few minutes later like it was nothing, and suddenly he was trying to comfort me. Going through all that and seeing what he went through, I haven't been the same since. That was the first time I think I understood the concept of romantic love. It's not like I didn't believe in it before, I just never got how deep it was."

"Are you saying you might have had feelings for Darwin for that long?"

"...I kind of hope not. I've been with so many people since then, I'd hate to think that it was all while I was suppressing something or because I wanted to avoid it. Things just changed for me after that. I know you didn't know me before, but hooking up with people was kinda the only thing I used to do."

"Yeah, but what's the plan now? You're throwing around phrases like 'life changing' and 'true love.' You actually gonna try to start something with him?"

Everything about Fletcher seemed to tense up. Asteri watched him as she pulled out a frying pan. "That's why I need your help. I have no idea how to break it to him. I really don't want to screw things up!"

"I get why you're nervous, but I really can't imagine anything would get between you two."

"What if it weirds him out though? If he doesn't want to try dating, what if we can't recover? What if I don't move on and we can't be friends any more?"

"Hold on! There's nothing to move on from yet, you haven't even talked to him!" Asteri pointed out. "Besides, I've never seen you back down from asking someone out. You've gotten shot down like it was nothing, I remember turning you away myself."

Amanda cocked an eyebrow, sitting straight to hear more about this rarely referenced event. Fletcher didn't even flinch. "That's all different though, this isn't about sex. When you get down to it, I only really have one reliable line, and I can't risk using it for this."

"Wait," Asteri narrowed her eyes, "you don't mean...?"

Fletcher nodded sagely.

"What's the line?" Amanda asked, leaning forward.

"Well, I ask a person if they've ever slept with a robot. If they say 'yes,' I say, 'You won't believe how much better it is with an Energy Vampire.' If they say 'no,' I say, 'then you'll never be satisfied after you've done it with an Energy Vampire.'"

"You're telling me that's reliable?"

"Well I don't use it if I don't think it'll work, but for humans, yeah, about seven out of ten times. Eight out of ten if they've had a few drinks. The key is playing up the vampire thing, it checks off a lot of different kinks. Vampire alone sells it for some people, others are into teeth, some like the idea of dominating a ‒ "

"I get it!" Amanda waved her hands, "Honestly, why not use that on him? He'd probably laugh."

"But I'm not trying to sleep with him! Those are the only tactics I know, that's the problem! This isn't about sex. We were already going to spend our lives together, but... this is different. I never thought anyone could mean as much to me romantically as he does to me platonically. I didn't think I'd ever settle down. I've only ever had a few romantic relationships, and every time, I would realize I just didn't trust them as much as I needed to. Darwin, though... I trust him with everything!"

"Listen, Fletcher, he knows that," Amanda pointed at him with a slice of bell pepper she'd snatched from the counter, "He's crazy about you too! When you guys aren't around each other, you're pretty much the only thing either of you talks about. I really don't know how you manage to get anyone to bed like that."

"He used to be into you when you were kids, right?" Asteri asked.

"That was decades ago," Fletcher muttered, waving his hand. "We're completely different people now."

"Yeah, that's a good thing," Amanda scoffed, "You sounded like you were a real brat." Fletcher huffed. Amanda put her arm around his shoulders and brought him closer. "But seriously, what can we do for you? It sounds like you've given this a lot of thought on your own."

"Just... how? How do I sit him down and say, 'Sorry I've been acting so weird, I just want to keep doing the same stuff we always do but now we kiss and call each other boyfriends?'"

"Well, maybe a little less blunt, but that's really all there is to it," Asteri shrugged, oiling the frying pan. "I think you're freaking out about it because you're too in your own head. It'll probably seem a lot easier once you're with him! Like you said, you trust him. He'll have the decency to hear you out, and even if he doesn't feel the same way, you'll feel better having told him."

"That's the thing, though," Fletcher tapped his head, "I know he doesn't feel the same way. We're not kids any more, and I've learned a lot about reading wavelengths. Sure, there are robots out there who are good at suppressing certain feelings or who are naturally resistant to Energy Vampire sensors, but Darwin is an open book to me. I'm afraid of how he'll feel when I tell him."

"What's the alternative though? Wait for these feelings to pass and never mention it?"

Fletcher crossed his arms over his head and sank out of Amanda's grasp, letting out a stuffy groan. "I just want it to be easy! I'm so sick of the back and forth, and I know you guys only just found out, but I need answers fast! I called you this morning because I knew I would do something stupid if you weren't here to set me right, and I know I'm asking too much. This is just... torture."

The kitchen was quiet for a while next to the sound of the oil starting to sizzle in the pan. Fletcher kept his arms over his head, the frustration building up again and making his visor sting. Maybe he'd rather not deal with it after all. Things would be easier if they stayed as they were, and if he ever thought about Darwin that way again... about the way his smile was sunshine that warmed him from head to toe, the way he made Fletcher's core suddenly swoop like he was in free fall whenever he saw him lately...

He was so distracted that he didn't notice the sound of a mobile communicator dialing out until it was answered by a muffled, distant, "Hello?"

Fletcher jumped from his seat, looking at Asteri in disbelief.

"Hi Darwin! You busy?"

Fletcher launched at her without thinking, grabbing wildly, but she managed to keep her phone out of his reach.

"I guess not. What are you guys up to on this wild Tuesday night?"

"We're actually just having dinner at Fletcher's. I know this is short notice ‒ cut that out! ‒ but how fast do you think you could get here?"

Fletcher swiped at her, hissing frantically through his teeth, "Stop!"

"I'm actually at my folks' for the week, so I could be there in fifteen, but, uh... are you alright?"

"Yeah, everything's fine. Fletcher's schedule opened up out of the blue and ‒ ow!"

The Energy Vampire was clinging to her now, scrabbling at her hand, but she just put it on speaker and held it out at arm's length.

"What was that?"

"Sorry, I just pet S'mores the wrong way and she swiped at me. So can you come over?"

"Stop this!" Fletcher snarled as quietly as he could, "Stop it, fix it!"

"Well, I don't see why not. I'm kinda just glad to hear the hermit is allowing visitors again. I'll see you soon."

Asteri hung up and Fletcher fell to the ground. Amanda finally let go and started laughing.

"What the hell are you thinking?! Call him back!" Fletcher yelled, scrambling to his feet.

"And tell him what? You said you were afraid of doing something stupid, but how could you be any more stupid than wallowing in your own confusion instead of doing something about it?"

"CALLING YOU GUYS WAS THE SOMETHING I WAS DOING ABOUT IT!"

"We can't talk to Darwin for you!" Asteri was smiling, but Fletcher had never seen anything more infuriating, and Amanda's continuing laughter grated his nerves even more.

"You expect me to do this NOW? I'm not ready! What is wrong with you, this is the worst thing you've ever done to me! I'm going up to my room, this is all your own damn fault, you're going to have to deal with telling him that you invited him without asking me!"

"No I'm not," Asteri scoffed, gathering all the sliced vegetables on the counter onto the cutting board.

Fletcher fumed, gritting his teeth. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"You're right about me not being able to make you talk to him, and maybe after all these weeks, there's some chance that you aren't ready. That's fine. I can't force you to bring it up," Asteri picked up the cutting board and tilted it so that all the vegetables fell into the pan and began to sizzle, "But I can show you how much better you'll feel once you're with him. You haven't seen each other in ages and that's no way to deal with this! I can also make an excuse for us to leave so you can catch up in private."

Fletcher could hardly bring himself to speak, staring daggers at the back of Asteri's blonde head while she started to stir. He finally threw his arm toward Amanda, pointing with all his might. "You!"

"What?!"

"I hate you the least right now! Come help me get dressed, I can't look like this when Darwin gets here!"

Amanda snorted and stood up as Fletcher stalked out to the front hall and toward the bedrooms. "This is the craziest thing you've ever pulled, A. If it turns out, they'd better make you Maid of Honor."

"I will throw you both out of my house and lock the door, but if you don't help me clean up before Darwin comes in I'll never forgive you!"

"Alright, I'm coming you big baby!" Amanda sauntered after him, following his indignant shrieks through the house. It wasn't until she caught up to him on the stairs that she noticed how light his steps were and the quivering anticipation in his eyeforms. She quietly hoped to herself that Asteri knew what she was doing.