what's up I have a hundred things to work on but this is the least important towards my education, which is why I worked on it.

I honestly don't even know if Jack is in character because i watched that movie like one time about two years ago and completely changed his character and all of the guardians because hell no I'm not writing "spirits" or whatever they're just mortal people with weird powers now and I tried to be funny but mostly I am tired and this got way longer than planned

i am a loser

gun

They didn't go to school together anymore, but Jack was the one friend he had outside of the "dragon training" group, and the only one at all before they came around to him. Jack never acted like he even noticed that Hiccup wasn't well received by everyone else. As far as he was concerned, they were social equals. Just in case he actually couldn't tell, Hiccup didn't mention to Jack that he was the only that ever talked to him back then. By now, each of their lives had been adjusted beyond the worries of social convention. Life only kept getting stranger for both of them.

"Okay, so… What was she like?" Jack asked him, a bit confused to hear about Rapunzel.

Hiccup sat on Jack's bed, staring at his schoolbag in his lap. "Well, she was… Nice…" Though a lousy descriptor, it was the most suitable one he could think of. "She smiled a lot. And she has a pet chameleon, named Pascal. That was pretty cool."

Jack shook him by the shoulder a bit."Hey, let's focus on the human."

"Well, I was a bit distracted, if you can believe it. She was talking a lot to me, but I didn't really know what to say to her. 'Sorry I don't remember you from when I was two'?"

"She probably felt weird too. Neither of you really have much experience with relatives." Jack's 'family' situation had certainly evolved since they had first met, but was never just him with one parent in an otherwise empty house. It was true, even a single half-cousin brought more familial closeness than he was used to.

"Yeah, and we're kind of missing a link, too." Jack waited for an explanation. "I think part of the reason we didn't talk much to my aunt and uncle for so long was that my dad felt odd about… well, Prim being my mom's sister. Now we all have to acknowledge that again."

"Does Rapple-or, Rehhh… you know, your cousin, does she know what happened?"

"I assume they told Rapunzel, yes. She already knew about the dragon-hunting debacle and my leg, so she probably got quite the history lesson."

"Quite the everything lesson, I'd guess." Jack remarked, "I'm surprised she was talkative with you, that kind of isolation can screw people up." He stood up. "Do you realize she went 14 years without any dudes around? If I went until now without meeting a girl, I'd see one and be like, 'What's that? What are those things they have? Why do I want to touch them?'"

Hiccup stopped him with a raised hand. "Please, just don't. Anyways, she's seen other people before, she just couldn't go out and talk to them."

"Tooth says I'm the first guyfriend she's had, even though she wasn't locked up, and I think she's still getting used to me."

Hiccup laughed a bit at that. "Who doesn't have to get used to you? You're a walking snow cone machine. Wait, I can't remember. Don't you have- have a-" He lowered his voice and gestured vaguely, "Some sort of a... thing? With Tooth?"

"What? No, she's cute and all, but she's kind of like a sister to me." Although he shook his head and added, "I mean, not like a real sister. Like a step-sister, so it's not weird."

Hiccup drew his eyebrows together and glanced back in unease. "I'm pretty sure thinking sisters of any kind are cute is a little weird. Unless you mean cute as in, 'oh, cute little puppies', which I'm sure you don't."

"It's fine if you meet when you're basically adults and aren't blood related" Jack argued."We live together and we're close friends, that's all that makes it sisterly."

Hiccup replied but continued staring at the walls.

"You have to pick a side; friend, girlfriend, or sister. Very different things."

"Of course, you're the expert. You've never had sisters or girlfriends. I mean, unless..." he tilted his head to Hiccup.

"Astrid was never my girlfriend" he answered immediately.

"Right, so, you've only had friends. And most of yours are wild animals."

"Like the one I'm talking to."

Jack smiled back, not at all offended. "Exactly."

"Blonde, pompous, and vaguely incestuous. If you paid back money you owed people, you could be a Lannister."

"First of all," he moved his hand in a circle to display his head "I'm platinum." Hiccup turned his head, exasperated, with his eyes shut to shield him from Jack's theatricality.

"And I would say that guy was a little more than 'vaguely' incestuous. By the way, never letting you convince me to watch a show ever again."

"You wanted to watch it"

Jack's calm face turned bitter, and he spoke as if betrayed. "You said there would be boobs."

"Well, there were! Lots of boobs!" Hiccup had thought that would be the best way to get Jack to try watching it. It was no less true, though.

Instead of arguing back, Jack was paying attention to something else. Hiccup followed his eyes across his own shoulder to find that Bunnymund had opened the door behind his back. His long ears angled back and matched the slight scowl on his face.

"I was talking about a show-" Hiccup started to explain, struck with sudden embarrassment, but Bunny's eyes flicked to Jack uninterested.

"Do you know where Sandy is?"

Jack replied, "Uh... I think I saw him this morning. I haven't really kept track."

Bunny sighed as he left the doorway, "Brilliant."

Hiccup felt heat rush into his face and turned back around to Jack. "Great, so… that made me sound like a total creep. "

Jack snickered at his nervousness."So what?"

"He's kind of like a parent, right? It sounded like I was reviewing a porno just now, is that not awkward?"

"He's more like a morally questionable Australian rabbit uncle that nobody knows enough about, but he does the dishes so you just keep him around and don't ask questions." Being said in one casual breath almost made it sound like a rational sentence.

"Yeah... See, I don't know the social protocol that comes with that."

Gazing into an imaginary distance, Jack looked to be thinking. "But really, you have to admit it is... kind of porn. Just with an unusually developed plot"

"What porn involves decapitation?"

"Is that a rhetorical question, or would you like a notarized list?"

"Rhetorical."

"Kidding."

Hiccup looked back down to the backpack, remembering his missing notebook. It had been days since he realized it was gone.

"I didn't leave a notebook here by any chance, did I? Um... the little brown one?"

Jack spread his arms wide, as if surrendering to the state of disarray they sat in the middle of. Flatly he asked, "Does it really look like I would know?"

Hiccup sank back against the wall. "Yeah, nevermind." Though the observations he'd written in it weren't of the utmost scientific priority, it was stressful to lose it all so quickly. The very first notes made of Toothless were there, and the prototypes of the replacement tail. "I just don't understand what could've happened to it, it's not at home, it's not in my schoolbag, I didn't take it out for anything…"

"Maybe you were mugged by someone that loves stationary and you can't remember it." Jack shrugged.

Sitting up, Hiccup realized, "You're probably right."

"Wait, what?"

"Merida took it from me. Why didn't I figure that out sooner? Of course she did!" He nearly forgot he'd been talking to Jack.

"Hold on. Who is this? Who allegedly stole your dragon diary?"

"Just... some girl that hates me."

"Could you be a little more specific?"

How to summarize the chaos that had infiltrated his life? "Long story short, her family just moved here, our dad's don't get along, and if he's anything like her, I can see why."

"Oh, she's like your enemy in a family rivalry thing. That's kinda cute."

"If by 'cute' you mean a belligerent, cutthroat, flaming ball of hatred, she's adorable."

"They aren't mutually exclusive. How did you meet your nemesis?"

"Another long story short, she almost shot me."

"She was going to shoot you? Does she have a... gun?"

"A bow, actually," Hiccup answered, though the arrows seemed more frightening to him than bullets. "But that was just an accident. I tried to tell her it wasn't safe, came off to her as 'whiny', our dads got involved, and..." He sighed tiredly, "it's all downhill from there."

"You could've said sorry, I guess."

"I actually did apologize for getting in the way of her haphazard murder darts." Jack smirked like Hiccup was kidding. "I seriously did. Because she actually scares me that much."

Jack leaned back, questioning. "Is she just... tall or something?"

He shook his head. "She's shorter than me. Maybe it's her hair. Maybe it's like the effect of a lion mane, you know, makes her look bigger, more intimidating. It's pretty hard to ignore a bright orange lion's mane." There was something about that red curls now that made the world jolt a bit, in the worst way, like the sound of a fire alarm or a car's metal crunching together in a collision.

Jack spoke in a critical tone, "So, the girl harassing you is also a short ginger..."

Hiccup, annoyed now, spoke louder. "Yes, Jack. Could I reclaim my dignity if I dated my adoptive sister? Should I try that?"

"Up on the roof, again." Again, Bunny's voice shot in Hiccup's ears and brought the panic back.

"Uh, that was a -"

"Don't need to know" He only looked at Jack. "God only knows how he gets up there. You seriously didn't see him?"

Jack smiled at a slant. "See, I might've noticed that if I had gone outside today."

"I... don't even have a sister-" Hiccup's voice trailed off as Bunny closed the door behind himself without a sign of listening. He dropped his head into his hands. "Why did I even come here?"

In a strained whisper Jack asked, "Am I allowed to say 'That's what she said'?"

It took Hiccup a few seconds to process the inappropriate comment, and reluctantly replied. "It works better as 'That's what he said'."

Once Jack was done laughing, and back to his "normal" self (which took a few long minutes), Hiccup was rechecking if there was anything else missing from his schoolbag. Merida couldn't have known that notebook was particularly important, could she? Maybe she just grabbed something at random, just to send a message. Or, like Jack, she had thought it was a "diary" with some sort of embarrassing information. Neither really made much sense, as she didn't seem to be the scheming type. Knowing she could be flipping through his personal notes or sketches still was an uncomfortable experience, though. They really weren't created for the public eye, especially not hers. Jack watched, spinning left and right in the chair.

"You're really starting to seem paranoid now."

Hiccup stopped a moment to look back at him. "You would be too. I've never met someone so passive-aggressive in my life."

"Then just act a little more like her."

"Are you suggesting I start threatening her? You really think that would be effective, or even possible?"

Jack scoffed, "Woah, incite a resolution, not a riot." He stopped spinning and leaned closer to Hiccup. "Just tell her, 'Hey, I'd like to get my nerdy shit back now.' She'll probably get bored of you and give it up."

That only left Hiccup wondering if he would rather attempt confronting her or just let her keep the notes. Both were equally nauseating to imagine.