gave the world a year system. Graduation takes place in year X995 and Ino died in year X1006. the naruto timeline (while confusing and honestly not very well thought out) is generally explained by using naruto's birth as a formative point and while this makes sense because most people making timelines are fans, I feel like as a whole the world doesn't revolve around homeboy. my timeline focus point is the estimated birth of the sage of six paths, who I think was born around the time canon had kaguya recognized as the "rabbit princess" or something like that? so anyway sage was born in year X0, the year is X995 rn. X just sounded the best I guess even though as a letter it has nothing to do with the discovery of chakra. so when years are mentioned, that's what they mean

Ino fic rec: Pretty Girls and Pointy Things by Renaerys. this fic is truly a gem.

Song rec: I'll Be Your Girl by Kitten

AsPHodeL

[amaryllis]
pride
and
worth

Ino's still standing with her arms crossed, eyes going blank through the open doorway and limbs stiff, when the sun rises and Yuugao returns.

Sakura's been pushed against a wall delicately—her ribs are definitely broken—and Naruto's fallen asleep somewhere between the two of them, one of his hands splayed dangerously close to her ankle and his face towards the wall. He did try to stay up, like a guard dog, but, like most pets, he turned out to be unreliable for protection or concrete action. She has resolutely not looked at his face. Ino had stared at the open doorway as the moon rose and as the moon fell, as the stars went brighter and as they faded away and now she stares at the blank space as the sun pokes over the trees and bites into her eyes.

Naruto stirs a bit and rolls over, making a small noise in the process, but Ino is watching Yuugao walk back into the building, a bag tied over her kunai pouch. "I'm sorry I took so long," she says. Her hair is perfect. There's no blood on her, no tears in her clothing or scrapes on her skin. If she didn't know, Ino would never guess Yuugao had been fighting. The woman drops her bag to the floor. It jingles like coins as it lands. "Was trying to find out who he was." Yuugao tosses a book her way; Ino barely catches it. "Page sixty three," Yuugao says. Then, "Who's that?"

"Some guy," Ino says distantly. Page sixty three has a picture of a dark haired man apparently named Takeda Daigo. She finds his name uninteresting. She's scanning the page, and finds his status as a b-rank missing nin from Iwa significantly more interesting. "What's an Iwa shinobi doing this close to Konoha?"

"Hiding from Iwa, presumably," Yuugao answers, just as absently as Ino.

"Yeah, but—" She stops herself. But don't they still have some village loyalty, she had been going to say. Doesn't he hate Konoha the way his birthplace does? It's idiotic, she realizes. Missing-nin don't have loyalty. "I guess so." As Ino watches, Yuugao circles the tied up man.

"Who did you say this is?" she asks again.

"Some guy," Ino says. It feels an inadequate response.

"This isn't some guy, Ino. This is Akizuki Asahi," she says, mystified. "He's an Iwa lord's son. Not a ninja. Classically trained in dance and swordsmanship." A pause. Yuugao scratches at her neck. "Might know some earth techniques. It's tradition for nobles to perform them at ceremonies in Iwa." That explained the floor explosion. "Why is he tied up here?"

The newly named Asahi shouts something from behind his gag. It comes out as a muffled groan. "Oh, him? Came at us. He lost." Ino shrugs, flipping around the bingo book curiously. It's labeled for the year X990. "This book is a bit outdated. I wonder if the bounty changed by now."

"It was lower," Yuugao tells her, jerking her head towards the fallen bag. The implication that she'd killed him shouldn't unsettle Ino, but it does. Ino didn't kill Asahi, but Yuugao killed Daigo. Yuugao's walked over to Asahi now, and gives him a curious kick. He makes furious noises of protest. "Where did he come from?"

Ino motions vaguely to the hole in the floor. It would have been funnier if she'd said, What hole did he crawl out of? She didn't, though, so Ino doesn't laugh or look up to see if Yuugao got the message. "Sakura's ribs are broken," she says, as though this is a casual topic, just an exchange of information. Her eyes go up a bit over the top of the bingo back to catch Yuugao giving a short nod. "When do you think Shou-san will—"

She surprises herself with a yelp. Yuugao's head jerks towards her, before her mouth twists a bit at the false alarm, and she returns to her scrutiny of Asahi. Without her notice, Naruto'd rolled back over, and this time he's taken it upon himself to curl around her feet, one hand wrapping around her ankle and his knees pulling up to touch her other foot. She can feel herself shaking. "Naruto," she grinds out lowly, lifting one foot free of him and leaning down to pry his hand from her skin. She has a hand around his fingers when she looks up to glare at him and finds him watching her, newly awake with half-closed blue eyes.

He abandons her ankle in favor of holding her hand weakly, sleepily, and Ino wants to die. "Ino-chan?" He blinks a couple times, confused. "What time is it?"

"Morning," she hisses. She pulls away from him, burned, and he grunts at the movement, his hand smacking him in the face from the force with which she rips away from him. "It's morning, you idiot." He hums in acceptance of this new information.

"I'm cold," he announces.

"That's great, Naruto," Yuugao says, distant still as she walks slow circles around Asahi. The Naruto she knew had secret spots like this, had secret moments when he forgot that he didn't really like her and only remembered that they were genin together.

It was never a secret. She knows that. The soft parts of him, the flesh under his chakra coated skin, were never a secret.

It's still disturbing that this Naruto is made entirely of secret soft pieces.

"Man," Naruto comments, sitting up, hands on his knees, "this place is wrecked."

For a moment Yuugao and Ino quietly appreciate this insight. Then Yuugao tilts her head, sighing, and says, "Shou-san has returned," and, indeed, he has. His energy keeps sparking, dangerous and furious, like a mad dog.

Ino has never felt pity for mad dogs. She only puts them down.

"What have you done," he breathes out when he sees them. He steps delicately into the doorway. The damage is already done, but he's reluctant to even touch the splintered remains of the door frame.

"Welcome back," Ino says. The comment doesn't amuse him.

"You destroyed it!" Shou hollers, waving a fist. His hand looks too large for his wrist. "My shop! My livelihood! These are extensive damages! I should sue—" His eyes catch abruptly on the man tied up in the remains of his store. "Who is that?"

"Two man attacked last night. They were looking for something," Ino says, flat, unheeded by his questions, watching his face heat at her rudeness. Yuugao steps forward in front of Sakura, offensive and imposing rather than protective.

"These men would only be looking for something illegal," she says bluntly. Shou recoils from her, chin sinking into his neck and wrinkled hands shaking.

"That's a lie!"

Yuugao raises an eyebrow. "They had your uncle killed for just the chance to search for it," she says, unimpressed. "You just got back from his funeral, right?" She leans down a bit, elbow going on top of Asahi's head. His noises of discontent don't bother her. "Shou. You can pay us and we can go. If you continue being irrational, we'll have you investigated. Both end in a paycheck for me. Which would you prefer?"

His face is completely red. He's a furious man. He's also a sneak. A cheat. A businessman, and not a very good one. "Fine," he spits out. He digs furiously in his pockets. When he discovers the bills inside, he throws them a bit angrily to the floor. Ino flows forward, leaning down to collect them under Yuugao's scrutiny. "Fine!"

"You understand, of course, that your merchandise must be searched as well," Yuugao explains smoothly. Shou shouts something Ino's unable to puzzle out.

Ino sighs. Naruto blinks dumbly. Sakura's still unconscious.

"This could have gone worse," she offers, and Yuugao snorts.

…

It takes only a couple hours for Yuugao to discern that Shou's a small time drug dealer—"Perfectly legal!" Shou insisted when she stared him down—and Asahi's a rich kid looking to start up his own business via robbery. She sniffs haughtily at Shou when they leave, clearly unsupportive, but Sakura needs medical attention and they're a day's walk from Konoha, and he is, as he had insisted, perfectly legal. Yuugao winces down at her, Sakura blearily looking up.

"This is going to be a painful journey for you, Sakura," she says seriously. "Please do your best."

Sakura nods with equal seriousness, but when she gets loaded up on Yuugao's back, she makes a tiny whimper. "I'm sorry," Ino says. Sakura's wincing, clinging to Yuugao's shoulders hard enough to hurt, and doesn't deem Ino important enough to give a response. "It's my fault you got hurt."

(Ino was choking on her own blood, gurgling on it as it bubbled from her mouth. Internal bleeding, she thought to herself. Sakura was crying and Ino tried to smile because she was dying. How sad. Pitiful. "I'm not going to let you die," Sakura managed to grit out, hands on Ino's shoulders her chest her stomach. I'm bleeding from everywhere, Ino tried to say. Her mouth would not work. Her fingers were twitching.

"I'm not going to let you die," Sakura said again and she pulled Ino's skin apart, reached down inside her to pump her heart for her in her bare hand and it hurt.

"Stop," Ino said but it was too soft to hear, too breathy and pained, drowned out by screaming. There was a policy in this war and it was simple: someone drops, you leave them. Ino didn't just drop. She was half a day from dropping dead. Stop, stop, stop! Sakura forced chakra into that muscle until it was going erratic without assistance and then her hands were on Ino's chest, breathing for her, doing so much stitch-work without a needle in sight and it was too much. Ino was never the best medic but she knew enough and she knew Sakura didn't have the capacity to save her. Ino was missing parts a person couldn't function without and there wasn't a way to stop the bleeding. Not even the best medical shinobi could save her. It wasn't possible. There was too much damage. Something that extensive would—

"This'll kill you," she tried again and blood came out of her mouth and again she wasn't heard. "Stop, Sakura—please stop, you're killing yourself—"

Ino was supposed to die. She'd had her arm blown off, was lying in mud with bombs going off around her, bleeding from everywhere and dying. She was supposed to die there.

I'm not going to let you die, Sakura said and she wasn't a liar. Ino woke up the next morning alive. There was an arm attached to her shoulder with skin paler than her own and Sakura was dead. Sakura killed herself to save her. Ino lived on with Sakura's body parts inside her.

When he found them in the aftermath, Sakura pulled open and Ino knit closed, Naruto said, "That's not a fair trade," and he was right. It wasn't.)

"That isn't true," Naruto says. His words taste like poison and Ino hates this. It was her fault. She'd been weak and afraid and Sakura got hurt. "Sakura-chan wanted to finish the mission."

"He's right," Yuugao says, already walking, the sun glowing on her hair as it creeps over the trees. Ino knows, rationally, the way her heart is racing is impractical. The life she remembers is horror and failure. This world is one mild altercation in which no one was injured, a genin exam where she had the best score, and a ninjato no one believes she knows how to use. Yuugao pauses, hoists Sakura a bit higher on her back. Sakura whines in protest, but Yuugao's staring at Ino. "Sakura made her own choice," she says. "We all make our decisions, Ino."

Ino looks into this woman's eyes with her heart on fire. It is the first time since she died that she feels twelve.

"It still hurts," Sakura moans pathetically. The moment snaps; Naruto winces for her, Yuugao sighs.

"We'll be back in Konoha soon, Sakura-chan!" Naruto edges closer to her to cheer her on. She slides her eyes sideways and glares at him from her position on Yuugao's back. For an invalid, it's surprisingly effective, and Naruto curls back behind Ino. "She's just mad because she's in pain," he says to her, and Ino hopes her face is enough to tell him she doesn't agree.

On the walk back, Ino and Naruto go side by side behind Yuugao and she watches his face, watches his blue eyes like she's waiting for a tidal wave to hit inside them, watches the way his hair falls a bit over his hitai-ate and thinks about how his blond is nothing like hers and her watching gets bad enough that he glances over at her curiously and she has to look away.

God. She's an idiot.

"I'm not gonna tell Yuugao-sensei about what happened," he whispers to her, misreading the way she's been staring. It's a strain to catch the words, and she ends up getting the message more from reading his lips than anything else. He looks earnest and honest and the way he's saying it—he doesn't mean you owe me. He doesn't mean I'm holding this over you. He doesn't even mean let's forget about that. He just means he doesn't plan on telling Yuugao about it. Nothing else. Sakura grunts at a particularly sharp step and Naruto's eyes go to her instead of Ino and Ino had loved Sakura, too. She did. She'd loved Sakura so much. Sakura's a child and Naruto's a child and Ino doesn't fit and he's looking at Sakura instead of her and that's fine.

The tiny, secret pain wiggling like a maggot in her lungs makes her feel sick.

"It isn't like it's a secret," Ino says. He looks at her again, eyes just a bit pulled by worry, and Ino could never have handled this. "Ninja kill people. Yuugao-sensei wouldn't care."

"Maybe some ninja kill people," Naruto says softly and he's still looking at her and she wishes he would stop. She thinks to tell him about the guy Yuugao surely killed for his bounty, but then he moves a bit closer, matching his walk to her pace, and Ino looks away sharply. His hand flutters, like he thinks she needs comfort somehow, but he's never been taught how to do anything like that, and after a moment of what looks like contemplation but can't be because Naruto's an idiot and impulsive, he lowers his hand. "But you don't, Ino."

I do. I did. I will.

There are a lot of things she suddenly wants to say to him, things she would have said to him if he hadn't died against her and left her with nothing. Things he wouldn't understand and wouldn't have a response to, things she had never been brave enough to say. Insults and acclimations, admiration and something darker and questions she both would kill to know the answer to and would kill herself to forget about.

"Sure," Ino says instead and he looks relieved, so she did the right thing.

…

Sakura's going to be fine. It's nothing serious, allegedly, but Ino and Naruto still swarm Sakura's hospital bed for several hours apiece. Two broken ribs and some bruises, and as it turned out, leaving yourself untreated wasn't particularly good for anything at all, so she just had to stay a day to get her bones set and achieve a prescription for antibiotics. "This is dumb," Sakura complains. "I'm really fine!"

"You will be in a couple days," Ino corrects. She adjusts the flowers on Sakura's side table, hands lingering on the purple hyacinth petals. They're inky, so dark it's hard to tell the color. Sakura's going to be fine.

"A couple days?" Sakura heaves a huge sigh. "I have to be here that long?"

Ino shrugs. "You should ask your nurse about that," she says. Sakura's mouth twists, displeased.

"Sorry for leaving you with Naruto," she says, and she's sincere. Her face takes on an even more unhappy expression. Ino waves a hand, dismissive.

"Don't worry about it." Ino adjusts the flowers again. Then again. "Do these look okay to you?"

"You don't have to stay with me," she says instead of answering. Ino adjusts the flowers. "Yuugao-sensei and Naruto can't catch cats or plant seeds all by themselves."

"True," Ino says decisively. "Yuugao-sensei would probably kill him." Sakura laughs, and that's enough for Ino to let her hands fall away from the vase. "You'll be fine soon," she says, which is true. Sakura's parents had pushed extensively for a civilian doctor, but Yuugao was the only one with direct authority over Sakura now. Only Sakura's superiors could order her around, and her parents didn't have any place in the military bureaucracy. It's sad, but she doesn't have to listen, and Sakura's getting a medical-nin. This world was built in just a couple decades atop a foundation of blood and war. Civilians don't have control in it. It's sad, but Sakura will be at top speed within the next twenty four hours, probably, and Ino's happy for that.

Ino looks at her friend for a couple seconds. Sakura shifts uncomfortably. "I'm sorry that happened," she says eventually.

Sakura waves a hand in dismissal. "It was cool," she says. "Yuugao-sensei was so cool, did you see?" All it takes is one mildly capable kunoichi for Sakura to start foaming at the mouth for ninja training, for Sakura to start babbling about how she should've studied in kunoichi class more. Ino shakes her head fondly as she turns away, but she lingers, hand tracing the the doorknob, overtly aware of Sakura behind her.

"I saw," Ino says, and then she opens the door, glancing behind her. "Bye, Sakura," she calls over her shoulder and the door closes when she knocks hard against a warm body. She falls against the closed door, her entire body going tense, back hitting the metal, and she doesn't have any of her weapons but her eyes go up to catch wild blue.

"Sorry!" Naruto babbles, hands going to her shoulders and pulling her a bit closer to him. "Are you okay? I didn't mean to push you but you came out so quickly! Is Sakura-chan doing okay—I mean, I came to visit her, but you would obviously know—"

Her hands go up and flick him off. "I'm fine," Ino says. It takes all of her to keep eye contact, all of her to stay standing upright instead of recoiling against the door. "Don't take too long. Team seven still needs to run missions and Sakura needs to rest."

He takes a step away from her. "Oh. Uh, yeah. Okay. Of course!" He gives her a grin but he's shifting a little uncomfortably. Then he goes past her, opens the door, says, "Hi, Sakura-chan!" in what must be the happiest voice in the world and Ino walks down the tiled hallway to where Yuugao waits in the lobby. It's idiotic and she is aware of this.

She and Naruto were never friends. They were survivors. They didn't choose each other. When nights were quiet enough for him to be in camp she slept curled against him not because he meant something to her but because he was all there was and because she couldn't afford to wake the camp with her screams. That wasn't friendship. She cried over the blood dried against his skin and traced the scars on his arms because it was better than crying over herself, better than crying over the dead. She laughed at his stained clothes and mocked his lazily sharpened kunai. She didn't do that because she cared about it. It wasn't friendship.

It was loneliness.

She stops, hand going to fists for a bare second before her pale fingers go slack.

We're teammates, Ino. Can't we be friends, too?

(She could feel the blood through his shirt, could feel the way his bone jutted into her from his split arm. "Naruto," she choked, pushing at him with weak fingers. She was bruised and broken and she heard the crack of his arm snapping back into place, felt the force of kunai hitting against his back. He fell forward a bit more, his body going over her like a shadow. "Naruto, you—"

Her face went into the crook of his neck, his chin going on top of her head. "You aren't going," he said and she let herself fall fully, limply, against his shoulder. He smelled of blood and dirt and ash. "You aren't."

Her nails dug into his back. She cut into the skin; it healed over her fingertips, pulling at them, like his body was trying to consume her. "You have to let me go," she whispered. She could hear the fighting, could almost taste it. It was sick, but she wanted to be in the battle, wanted to kill and be killed. The muscle under his skin sucked at her fingers. It was disgusting. "Let me go," she said again and she hated that he was stronger than her. She remembers always hating how much stronger than her he was, hating the way he could pin her down when the shinobi world roared ahead of them.

"Konoha's gone," he said. His hands went to her shoulders, pulled her bloodied face from his neck. One of his hands went over her cheek, traveling to her hairline. His fingers went through her hair, sticky on the fine strands. "But you're here."

She was the last relic of Konoha, and he did his best to preserve her.)

"No," she whispers. Looks up, pushes pale blond hair from her face. Takes a couple more steps down the hallway, sandals clicking. Can't we be friends?

(She thinks of Naruto, eyes half-closed, curled around her feet. "What time is it?")

"We can't."

…

"We're a bit short-handed," Yuugao says, taking the steps two at a time, long legs stretching with a leisure even Ino can't mimic. "But an old colleague of mine agreed to let us tag along. Be polite." She pauses, hand going up to stop them from walking further just as they curve the top of the stairs. "Especially you, Naruto. We're going to be partnering with team ten. I better not see anything from you."

"Team ten?" Naruto says. It's as though a mild light goes up in his mind. "That's Sasuke's team! He's probably the same annoying bastard as always…"

"That's exactly what I mean," Yuugao says. "Don't do that."

Naruto makes a face, Ino opens the door, and Sasuke looks the way she remembers. He's got his arms crossed, shoulder to Shikamaru's, Kiba pulling at Kakashi's sleeve urgently. All four of them look up when the door goes open, and Kakashi raises one hand in a lazy half-wave. "Yo," he says. "Heard you'll be tagging along?"

Yuugao looks at him, her smile truly genuine for the first time since Ino's met her, and her nod is both respectful and teasing. "If you wouldn't mind," she says, and it sounds like an inside joke.

Shikamaru glances up, catches Ino's eyes. She feels shamed, feels the heat of her guilt all the way down her spine. "How annoying," he says, still staring at her, and if Ino were alone she might've considered crying. Kiba follows Shikamaru's line of sight, smiles at her best he can. He's thinking she'll be a bit annoying to be around, a bit of a burden, but she's pretty, so he smiles anyway.

Ino reaches inside herself, digging at her own brain, and manages to produce a halfway smile, mouth curving with something closer to cruelty than happiness. When she was twelve, she would've had a line prepared: So it's these losers, she would have said. Try to keep up, will you?

Shikmaru looks at her like she's disgusting to him and she is. She's disgusting to herself, too. She doesn't need to think about it; anything Shikamaru were to think of her, do to her, would be forgiven. It's her fault. She had to do it, she thinks suddenly, feeling the way his thoughts go twisted when she's in his line of sight. They'd been friends since birth, but they couldn't be friends. This world wants so badly to copy the echoes, to recreate what once stormed over it, but Ino-Shika-Cho doesn't work the second time. They die. She had to do it.

Looking at him still makes her feel the worst in the world.

But Sasuke looks at her like she's an insect and she will never forgive Sasuke for anything, so her lips curve up into something she practiced after he destroyed her world and she's looking right at him when Naruto shouts something about fighting, and being the best team, and the moment breaks when Sasuke turns his eyes to something else.

(Those eyes, those eyes—Ino has seen men die for them.)

"I can't believe we're being forced to babysit," Sasuke draws out contemplatively. Naruto goes red. Yuugao looks to be holding in a laugh.

"Sasuke-kun, we did fail our last mission," Kakashi says lightly. Ino remembers only a bit of him; only his warm hand on her shoulder, blood flecked on his face. He'd been Inoichi's friend, he told her, about a year into the war. She thinks he was lying.

Looking at them makes her think of Hinata and Shino and Chouji, team eight, with Kurenai. Kurenai had always been so kind to her; after Asuma was gone, Ino and Kurenai had grown painfully close, and then Kurenai was pregnant and couldn't fight anymore and she died. Asuma now isn't even a sensei. He's still alone, one of the Twelve Guardian Ninja, hidden in the heart of Fire Country. The regret and pain surprises her.

How does she dare to feel regret?

"We had a c-rank mission," Naruto announces proudly. Ino's eyes jerk to him, to the way he jabs a finger in her direction. Sasuke's staring at him like there's a secret to the words. There isn't, Ino wants to say, but she's only trying to convince herself, so it's alright when her mouth stays closed. Naruto's just a bit dumb, Ino thinks to tell him. Her mouth stays closed. "And we did it! Ino took down a guy in the bingo book Yuugao-sensei had!"

"That's not true," Ino interjects as soon as she's able, her words tumbling over his, pushing against him. Sasuke narrows his eyes at her, as though he's saying, I already knew it wasn't true. You could never do that. "Yuugao-sensei did that. I just disarmed some nobleman."

"He knew doton jutsu, though!" Naruto argues. "And he was so strong! And the sword! But you—" He does his best to mime out the fight with his body. No one is impressed by the unwarranted display. Ino's hand moves before she's thought it through, going around his wrist and tugging him back into a more respectable, shinobi-like position beside her, and then she realizes she's touching him and her hand feels like it's been dipped in acid.

Sasuke sneers. "A nobleman," Kiba repeats, laughing. Ino thinks of the way the blood had collected on Asahi's collarbone, of the way her fingers had shaken and how badly she had wanted to see him dead, to see someone dead, to see anyone dead just to prove her own life. Kiba doesn't know any of that. "Bet that's still more than you could do, Naruto!"

Naruto bristles. The Hokage allows too much conflict in his office; Ino can see him, leaning back in his chair, smiling fondly at the altercation. The chuunin at his side whispers something furiously. The Hokage waves the man off, dismissive, comfortable.

Something about it is unsettling.

"And way more than you could do," Naruto snaps. His eyes go to Kiba, to Shikamaru, but they lock on Sasuke. "Any of you! Just because Sakura-chan got hurt doesn't mean you guys are any better than team seven!" He sniffs indignantly, turning towards Ino like he means to ignore the rest of the room. Even despite himself, Sasuke's shaking with what could only be anger. "We could easily kick your asses!"

Yuugao's hand comes down again on Naruto's head, dangerously close to digging in with her metal painted nails. "That's more than enough," she says. Her voice is as mild as usual, dulled, but Ino gets the feeling she's embarrassed. Kakashi laughs, and it's enough to bring a slight but definitively embarrassed flush to Yuugao's face.

"Ne, ne, Yuugao," Kakashi says, ignoring his students completely, even as Kiba tugs uselessly on the hem of his shirt, "this is fun, isn't it?"

"Just like old times," Yuugao mutters, annoyed enough for her voice to reflect sarcasm. Ino's eyes go from one teacher to the other. Then Naruto nearly punches Kiba in the middle of the Hokage's office and even if Kakashi sees fit to give his students free leave to be disrespectful idiots, Yuugao does not, and there isn't much time for socializing until they're quietly occupied with cutting down trees for a (lazy) civilian. Naruto sticks to Ino the whole time, grumbling in team ten's direction and making bitter comments to her on Yuugao's comradery with Kakashi. Once, Ino glances up, a laugh cutting up her throat at a particularly mean spirited comment Naruto makes, and she sees Shikamaru watching her.

She can't laugh again.

It must be her imagination, but Ino can feel Shikamaru looking at her even after the mission ends, even after she waves goodbye to Yuugao and Naruto and starts to cut a path away from them. That night, running laps around one of the quieter training grounds, she swears she can still sense his eyes on her, disappointed and sharp and dark.

…

Sakura, thank god, is out of the hospital within a day.

Ino hugs her when she sees the other girl waiting peaceably in training ground seven, clutching Sakura to her so harshly that she squeaks out, "Ino, I was just injured," to engage a release. Naruto goes to repeat the same treatment, but Sakura's less patient with him, and smacks him away in the same fashion one would a fly.

"Are you done recovering?" Yuugao asks seriously, all business. It's lost the authority it once held now that Yuugao's shown them some of her softer sides, though, so Sakura laughs. She opens her mouth, a response pushing free, and—

"It was horrible!" Naruto screeches. "We had to work with Sasuke and Kiba and Shikamaru and Sasuke! The worst!"

Sakura gapes. "You got to do a mission with Sasuke-kun? Without me?" She covers her face with her hands, squirming now, jumping from one foot to another.

"It wasn't even a big deal," Naruto grumbles, sniffing in offense. "I don't know why you like him that much, Sakura-chan—"

Sakura pulls her hands away, shifting on her feet. "I do like him," she says, quietly, as though she is about to contradict it. "But I—well, it's—I-I want—" Sakura leans forward towards Ino. It reminds her suddenly of Naruto about team seven, the way Sakura needs someone to believe her. She's flushed red. "I want to be a shinobi," she says. "Like Yuugao-sensei, and like you, Ino, and—"

"No time for him, huh?" Yuugao nods, smiling just barely. "It looks like you're doing even better than you were before," she says. Sakura brings one hand up to her ribs reflexively. She pushes at them, like that's the ultimate proof of her healed bones.

Naruto goes closer to her, his mouth opening and closing through the undecided desire to speak. "Does that—does that mean—"

"I'm not going anywhere with you," Sakura says flatly. Ino hides a laugh behind her hand. "Ever. The answer is still no."

She smiles up at Yuugao, stepping back from Ino. "What's the mission today, Yuugao-sensei?" Sakura chirps. Nothing about her suggests injury; when Ino pulls up the image of Sakura, motionless and broken on stone tiled floor, and places it next to the smiling girl she sees now, the two pictures cannot be reconciled.

"No mission, Sakura," Yuugao appeases, waving them closer to her. Ino goes forward curiously. "I suppose the only mission is to keep up your training, and consider these." Sakura and Naruto edge even closer to her to see the slips of paper Yuugao's holding. "One for each of you," Yuugao explains, and Sakura takes one with the same expression she gets when she does sudoku.

"The chuunin exams?" she asks. "Really?"

"Really," Yuugao agrees. She bends down, her hands on her knees, so that she's eye level with them. "You three could handle a man trained from birth in swordplay and extensive doton techniques. You can handle genin."

"B-but sensei," Sakura starts, pinching the exam paper between her fingers, "all I did was go unconscious."

Yuugao blinks. Then her hand comes forward, and she flicks the top of Sakura's head lightly. "You stuck to the mission," Yuugao corrects. "You did your best."

"We could die in these," Ino says absently, scanning hers for a date. It's set to take place just a week from now. It feels too soon. She hasn't even seen Chouji since graduation. It seems too soon. She won't die in there. There's too much to do.

Still, it's too soon.

"D-die?" Naruto's been staring at the exam like it's something holy, but now he looks up, eyes catching Ino's. "You're allowed to kill people? But it's just a test!"

"Ino's right. It's looked down upon, but allowed, to kill your opponents." Yuugao rises to her full height, sighing. "Normally, I would never let you die," Yuugao says and it's painful and kind but mostly a lie. Yuugao can't protect them. She just can't. It isn't a slight against her. She's skilled and strong and beautiful. But she can't. She just can't. "If you decide to participate in the chuunin exams, know that I won't be able to protect you there. But I would never let you die."

"Yuugao-sensei…" Sakura murmurs, staring down at the piece of paper in her hands like it's alive, like it's cursed. It isn't, Ino wants to say. That paper can't hurt you. There are more important things to be afraid of. "Are we strong enough for this?"

Yuugao smiles at the three of them. Ino never noticed how beautiful the woman was before. "Don't worry," she says softly. "You three are so far from weak. Yes, you too, Sakura," she adds when Sakura tucks down into herself.

She's wrong. Ino's never been strong. She remembers that she was pathetic.

("I love you," she had said and for a moment his eyes went a bit wide, hands freezing on her forearms and he looked human suddenly she remembers when she said that he looked human again and it was like seeing the sun after decades in the dark and one of his hands moved to her cheek, thumb going back and forth over her skin and she remembers leaning into the touch. She remembers feeling warm and light and she was still a little girl, a romantic, at heart, still the same girl who saw broken boys and thought she could hold out a hand, pull them up. Then his head tilted to the side. It was a parody of an emotion.

"Everything I love is dead," he said and from the way her entire body went cold, from the way her eyes went too wide and her blood went still and she couldn't breathe and he kept talking. "Are you dead, Ino?"

She was bloody and he was bloodier and she didn't want to die anymore.

"No," she whispered and he smiled, tapped her cheek like it was a form of praise.

"That's what I thought," he agreed and he stood, leaving her pale and motionless on her knees. The cloth pinned over the opening of the tent shifted when he left.)

"I know we can do it," Naruto says, a hand going first to Ino's shoulder and then to Sakura's. "Sakura-chan, Ino, we can do it!"

(Are you dead, Ino?)

Ino stares at the paper in her hand. Of course we can, she thinks.

(Yamanaka Ino is a ghost and she knows this.)