Chapter 4: Numbness
"So they finally let you out of that den of yours?"
Valerie scoffed as the older man sat on a bar stool next to her. "Good evening to you too, Hank. Or should I rather say good morning?" she said and took a sip of a whiskey.
"There is nothing good about it," he grumbled and waved at the bartender "I'll have whatever she's havin'."
Valerie shot him a look, the brow quirked. Seems like he had a few already, she thought to herself and then her gaze switched to the empty glasses in front of her.
Oh, right.
As soon as Connor left the workshop she felt that she really needed a drink. It was late anyway and the evening seemed quiet enough to take a breather.
Valerie and Hank clinked their glasses and just sat there, lost in their thoughts.
One and a half drink later Hank cleared his throat and turned his head to her. "Something on your mind, kid? Not like you're always a little ray of sunshine, but this amount of broodin' is highly unusual for you."
Valerie gave him a bitter laugh. "I was about to ask you the same question, actually," she really wasn't drunk enough to talk about what was bothering her. "How are you holding up?"
Hank shrugged, emptied his glass and ordered them another round.
"Those fucking deviant cases are keeping me busy enough..." he said, the corner of his lip rising in a sad smile.
Valerie remembered how devastated Hank was after Cole's death, how disappointed he was when she told him about the CyberLife's internship that she accepted. How their relationship went colder after every argument they had. She had fought so hard for this fragile truce they had now and was determined to keep it.
"Right," Valerie said and shook her head "I totally forgot that they have assigned Connor to you."
"Yeah, and he's been a pain in the ass ever since," Anderson rolled his eyes.
She gasped. "Holy shit man, have you really just referred to the android as a 'he'?" she said and when he gave her the stink eye she started laughing. "You must really like him, don't you?"
"Very funny Val, don't choke on your whiskey," he sighed. "The truth is, the longer I stay on this case the more I'm not sure about this whole 'machines don't feel anything' crap," Hank shook his head. "Those girls in the Eden Club today -"
"Oh yeah, I've heard about them," Valerie chimed in, staring at him with her mouth open in disbelief.
"- they really seemed… wait a second, what? When?" his eyebrows furrowed.
"Your partner dropped by earlier this evening," she said, her finger tracing the edge of the glass. "I have never seen him so upset." Her heart clenched at the memory of Connor sitting next to her with his eyes closed and that shade of pain which tainted his voice as he talked about what had happened. Hank scoffed.
"So that's why his head was shining like a fucking lighthouse all the way to the precinct, huh," he rubbed his neck "He seems so human and not human at the same time, I can't really figure him out."
"You know, when we were first introduced to this model, they said that the RK800 can take so much system instability like no other before him," Valerie smiled as her thoughts went back to that moment. Her eyes lit up. "I remember his performance tests on the VR sims in August, the way he moves…" she smacked her lips and giggled "...hot damn."
Anderson was eyeing her with a mix of amusement and disgust on his face.
"Geez Val, don't you fuckin' tell me you actually find this plastic goofball attractive."
Normally she would be blushing hard at this moment, but she already felt blissful numbness caused by the alcohol. She just smirked. "Well, his lead project designer is really known for his attention to detail and his trademark is putting a quite nice equipment -" Valerie teased and watched with a shit-eating grin as Hank snorted and started coughing.
"No. Fuck no. But why – no, you know what, don't say anything. No more booze for you today kiddo, gimme that," he snatched her glass and drank the whole thing. "I'm taking you home."
Valerie got up a little too fast and suddenly felt dizzy. Yeah, probably a good idea. They walked out of the bar and headed back to their neighborhood.
"By the way, your poor excuse of a father called me last week," Hank shot Valerie a quick look. "He asked me again to try to convince you to pick up your phone when he tries to reach you."
"Wow..." she took a deep breath "And what did you tell him?"
"What do you think?" he bridled at her question. "I told him to fuck off and leave you alone. The nerve of this prick, I swear to God..."
The corner of her mouth twitched into a smile and she exhaled slowly. "Thanks."
They walked in silence for a few more blocks.
"You didn't answer my question, Val."
There it was, the familiar weight on her chest, the crippling guilt making her fight for every breath.
"What do you want me to say Hank?" she said hesitantly. "That I can't stand going back to that empty house? That it's even worse at work, where everything constantly reminds me of her? How I can't sleep, running different scenarios in my head and trying to understand how the fuck did I miss all of the warning signs? Or when I finally fall asleep how I wake up screaming because there she was, dying in arms again and I couldn't do anything to stop this?" Valerie shook her head and sighed.
"Jesus Val, I had no idea," Hank said under his breath. He wrapped one arm around her and pulled her closer as they continued the pace. "You wanna stay at my place tonight? Sumo will be happy to see you again."
"I would love that, thank you," she whispered, overwhelmed by his reaction.
When they reached Hank's house and the giant dog welcomed them at the door, Valerie's face lit up. "Sumo! Come here, I've missed you so much buddy!"
Sumo barked once and licked her face, his tail wagging happily. She laughed and scratched his chest.
Anderson took her coat and hung it next to his jacket by the door. "Just make yourself at home, I'll find some blanket for you."
A few minutes later Hank came back to the room only to find Valerie on the floor, cuddled to Sumo and sleeping.
He put a blanket on her and smiled to himself.
Notes: I like dogs. Can you believe?