"Gin."
She makes a low sound of complaint, wondering why someone is bothering her when she's trying to sleep. She'd been having a nice dream too, she's pretty sure.
A hand brushes down over her hair, settling on her shoulder with a gentle squeeze. "Hey. It's getting late."
It finally registers that it's Harry's voice rumbling under her cheek, which is unusual on many levels, but not at all unwelcome. She cracks open her eyes, realizing she's not in her bed, but the dim space of the cloister. Right, she remembers. After slogging through their Potions exams, made only more grueling by the lack of sleep the night before, she and Harry managed to sneak away from everyone for a little while in the cloister.
They'd been lying in the grass talking, last she remembers.
She wipes at her mouth, hoping she hasn't done anything embarrassing like drool all over him. "Sorry."
He shakes his head. "My fault for being such a comfortable pillow."
She turns her face into his chest. "Your fault for keeping me out so late last night."
He laughs. "I'm sorry, but that was your fault."
She rolls onto her back, stretching her hands up over her head as she peers at him. "How exactly?"
He waves a hand vaguely at her, encompassing her entire body. "You know, being you."
She shakes her head, letting out a soft huff. "It's a good thing I like kissing you so much," she says, struggling to not smile as she gives him a faux stern look.
"Yeah?" he asks, eyes alight with humor as he rolls onto his side. "And why is that?"
She reaches up, touching his face, the slight scruff on his jaw scratchy under her fingers. "Because you're an idiot," she says, losing the battle with her smile.
"Am I," he says, leaning into her, his hand coming to a rest on her side, warm and firm across her ribs.
Ginny feels her breath catch in her throat, something warm and expectant seeming to rise between them, almost like a physical thing.
He leans in, brushing his lips across the corner of her mouth, more a tantalizing caress than a real kiss. "It's almost curfew," he murmurs, as if a reminder to them both.
They'd promised not to be out so late tonight. They're both exhausted and people will start to wonder if they are gone so often and so late.
"Yeah," she says, knowing they need to leave. Honestly, she's not sure she even trusts herself to kiss him at the moment. The way he's staring at her mouth tells her he's probably thinking the same thing.
Kissing has become a lot more complicated recently.
She closes her eyes, hoping that will help. "I hate curfew."
"I'd much rather stay," he says, breath warm against her neck.
She slides her hand down his arm. "Me too."
If she's being completely honest, what she really wants is to pull him down closer, to know what that feels like, his body solid on top of hers, maybe his leg sliding between hers as he kisses her senselessly.
Harry lets out a sigh, pressing a lingering kiss to her neck that does absolutely nothing to help the situation, before finally pulling away and rolling to his feet. Only then does she trust herself to look at him again. He reaches his hands out to her and she lets him pull her up.
"I didn't mean to waste our time together," she says, regretting her impromptu nap immensely.
He smiles at her. "It was hardly a waste."
She looks at him in surprise. Watching someone nap doesn't exactly sound like the most riveting experience. "Really?"
He shifts on his feet, suddenly looking uncertain. "It was…nice, I mean." He blows out a breath. "Just being around you at all is nice."
Ginny bites the inside of her lip, his awkward sincerity making her want drag him back down into the grass again. "Nice?" she forces herself to tease, to lighten the moment before she can get lost in it.
He smiles, shaking his head. "More than nice."
"Good," she says, and moves in to kiss him. Being upright hasn't completely dispelled whatever that moment earlier was, though, both of them nearly forgetting things like curfew and promises. Then again, she's deluding herself if she thought kissing Harry was ever simple.
She does manage to get back to her common room before curfew, though it's a near thing.
She dreams about Harry that night, the specific details hard to remember after waking up, but the feeling of it lingering, leaving her flushed and out of breath.
She keeps drifting back into the sensation of it during breakfast, finding herself staring in Harry's direction where he's sitting with Ron and Neville. She chastises herself for being so stupidly obvious and turns her mind to more sobering things like her exams.
Today is Divination and tomorrow Herbology, meaning Ginny has the next two days free before she has to sit back to back exams on Friday and Saturday. It's tempting to use the free time to nap and relax, but she knows she needs every minute to prepare.
"Library?" she suggests to Tobias.
"Yeah," he agrees, taking one last swig of pumpkin juice before getting to his feet.
They walk together in comfortable, early morning silence, Ginny's mind wandering once more.
She nearly stumbles when Tobias nudges her. "Are you even listening?"
"What?" Ginny asks, honestly not having heard him say anything.
He regards her, eyes narrowing. "You're being weird."
"I am not," she says, tucking her books into her chest.
"Yes, you are," he insists. "Kinda spacey. But also like you're…happy." He says this as if her being happy is inherently dangerous or something.
"Shut it," she says, doing her best to school her expression. Or just look grumpy.
Her effort is completely undermined when they turn the corner, because of course there Harry is, walking with Ron and Neville. Hermione, she imagines, is already in the library. Probably slept there the night before.
"Morning," Neville says.
"Hey," she says, doing her best to look primarily at Neville and her brother.
Ron mumbles a greeting, apparently no more enthused to be studying. When she finally lets herself look at Harry, he's already considering her, looking at her like…
Merlin, his face is so bloody expressive, and it seems inconceivable that no one else will notice the way he's looking at her, the way it drags those vague dreams back up in a moment.
She forces herself to look away.
Sure enough, as they all head towards the library together, Ginny can feel Tobias watching her closely. It kind of makes her want to hex him, which at least dispels any suspicious happiness.
If she's honest, it's weird having Harry here. Disorienting in a way that his day-long visits weren't. She'll just turn a corner or walk into breakfast, and he's there. Not that she wishes he weren't. Not at all. It's just…a bit weird.
She tells herself she's just not used to it. That it's strange having him around after being apart for so long. It's been nearly two years since he was a student at Hogwarts. And that was before they were ever anything, really. But another part of her wonders if it's really because Hogwarts Ginny and Harry's Ginny feel like two separate people. Secrets always require careful compartmentalizing.
He glances back at her again as they walk into the library, almost as if he's hoping she'll sit with him, but there is no way she trusts herself with that today.
"There's Hannah," Ginny says, grabbing Tobias' elbow and pulling him towards a different table where Hannah and Susan are sitting.
Ginny settles at the end of the table so her back is to Harry, mostly so she can resist doing anything stupid like stare at him, or try to remember more specifics of her dream last night. She has exams to worry about.
Really.
They work for a while, Tobias and Ginny focusing on History and Muggle Studies, while Susan and Hannah are hard at work on Herbology. It's easily Hannah's favorite subject, but you'd be hard pressed to know that from how miserable she looks right now.
Ginny's just decided to take a break from History by switching over to Muggle Studies when Hermione and Ron start bickering, voices building from a soft hiss to almost outright yelling. Or so it feels like in the quiet of the library.
"This is serious, Ron!" Hermione shrilly announces to the whole room. "Our entire futures depend on these exams! We can't afford to mess this up!"
Ginny turns, taking the scene in.
Harry seems to be ignoring Ron and Hermione even as every head in the room swivels towards them. Ever curious, Hogwarts students.
Harry looks up, catching her eye. She lifts both eyebrows in question and he just gives her a long-suffering look. She thought he mentioned the bickering having gotten better, but maybe exams just bring out the best in Hermione.
The table under Ginny's elbow shakes slightly, and at first she assumes someone is jogging their leg up and down and jiggling it. She glances the other direction, ready to tell Tobias to knock it off when she catches sight of Hannah's face.
She's staring down at her notes like they may jump up and attack her, a sheen of sweat on her forehead.
"Hannah?" Ginny asks.
She doesn't respond.
It's Hannah that's trembling, Ginny realizes. Not slight shivers like she's cold, but a horrid shuddering like she's in pain, or really scared.
Tobias's chair scrapes back as he realizes something is wrong, leaning in close to Hannah and trying to take her hand. "Hannah?"
Hannah recoils, her breath turning into small little pants, her eyes staring unseeing as if she doesn't know where she is, and with sudden realization, Ginny knows what this is. Knows all too well.
"Go get Pomfrey," Ginny says to Tobias.
"Me?" he says, looking scandalized. "I'm not leaving."
"Tobias—" she starts to object, aware that more people are noticing now.
"Is she alright?" someone asks.
Tobias looks around at the people who are gathering to stare, settling his gaze on a younger student standing nearby gaping rudely. He grabs the kid by the front of his robes, dragging him so close their faces nearly touch.
"Go get Pomfrey. Run the entire way. If I hear you did anything less, you'll have to deal with me. And her," he says, jutting his head towards Ginny.
The kid looks terrified, nodding vigorously before fairly sprinting out of the room.
Hannah, meanwhile, is still ashen, sucking in deep breaths that don't seem to be doing anything. Ginny reaches out to her, only to feel the way Hannah flinches back against her touch, remembering with horrible clarity her own panic attacks. The way she'd felt frozen by the fear, by the possibilities, the choking smell.
Merlin, the smell.
Ginny closes her eyes, sucking in a breath.
"What's wrong with her?" someone nearby demands.
Ginny forces her eyes back open. All around them, people are watching and whispering. Harry is nearby now as well, his hand on the back of her chair—so close, too close, I don't know how to be that girl anymore—
She forces herself to focus on the present. On what is real. On what needs to be done.
"Everyone step back," Ginny orders, voice quiet but brooking absolutely no argument. People crowding will only make it worse.
Everybody but Tobias immediately complies. Then again, she didn't mean him, though he does lean slightly back, scooting his chair further away, giving Hannah more breathing room. Vaguely, Ginny can sense Harry moving away too and for a moment her panicked brain forgets everything else. She grabs for his arm, not wanting him, of all people, to go away. Needing him to be here.
He said he'd be here.
She immediately realizes her mistake, letting go and scrambling for something to cover her slip up.
"Could you open that window?" she asks, pointing to the nearest one as if that was her intent all along. She carefully does not look at his face.
"Sure," he says. "Yeah. Of course."
Ginny watches his progress across the room from the corner of her eye, a gush of fresh air flowing over the table as he pulls the window open, other students following suit with other windows. The piles of notes on the table rustle, air flowing cool across her face. She takes a deep breath and refocuses on Hannah.
"It's alright, Hannah," she murmurs, not touching or crowding her, but just being there. "It's alright."
They are here and nothing is trying to hurt them and they are here. Together. Safe.
Everyone is safe.
They sit and wait for Pomfrey to arrive.
Harry looks up from his Herbology exam, stretching his back and glancing around the room at all the other students slumped over their papers. The only sound in the room is the scratch of quills.
Hannah, he notices, isn't here. Then again, he doesn't really know what exams she's sitting, so that might not mean anything, except he remembers Ginny mentioning Hannah wanting to go into Herbology as a career. So this isn't one she'd miss.
Despite the exam in front of him, he feels his mind wander back to the day before, to what happened in the library. Hannah was in clear distress, and Ginny was just so damn calm at the center of it all. Except that one moment where she grabbed his arm. She's usually so good about that stuff, not just being circumspect in public but not doing anything that she thinks might startle him, that he suspects she was far less calm than she was projecting.
He hasn't seen her since yesterday, beyond a quick glimpse of her in the hall. She sent him a note last night saying she was in the infirmary with Hannah, but nothing since.
He tells himself there is no reason to think she's avoiding him. They just have tests to study for, and here at Hogwarts it feels like Ginny has people looking to her all the time. Her housemates, her team, the DA. He wonders if that's as exhausting as it looks.
Ginny isn't sitting Herbology, so he doesn't even get to see her there, or catch a quick moment to ask her if she's okay. He doesn't see her at lunch, before he has to go back in for his practical exam in the afternoon.
Unfortunately the tables are organized by house at dinner, so that doesn't give him a chance to talk to her either, though he does at least get to see her from a distance. It would be nice to be able to just walk up to her and ask how she is doing. To just sit next to her. He can only imagine the stir that would cause.
After dinner he follows Ron and Hermione back to the common room. Hermione is already ramping up for her History exam the day after tomorrow—which Ginny will also be sitting, with Muggle Studies tomorrow—even as he and Ron get a three-day break until the DADA exam next Monday.
It's impossible to get away from Ron that evening with Hermione refusing to be budged from studying, so Harry doesn't manage to even get to his parchment until after he goes to bed, a bit early from claims of exhaustion.
Hey, he writes. Are you there?
She doesn't answer right away, and he sits and waits, forcing himself not to write more. He eventually gets up, washing up and brushing his teeth before climbing back into his bed.
There's a message waiting for him. Yeah. I'm here.
Here he finally has his chance, only now he isn't sure what to say. Is Hannah okay?
Yeah. I think she'll be fine. She's just really embarrassed right now.
He still isn't clear on what happened or why Hannah should be embarrassed, but is honestly more interested in Ginny at the moment.
And how are you? he asks.
Trying to figure out how I'm going to be ready for this exam tomorrow. And the other one Saturday.
Yeah.
She clearly needs to be studying, not hanging about with him. He can't blame her for that. Still, it doesn't stop the feeling that she's avoiding him from intensifying.
She changes the subject then, the two of them chatting aimlessly for another ten minutes before she says she has to get back to studying.
The next day the three of them have no exam to sit, just DADA revisions. In the afternoon, Harry suggests the library rather than the common room for studying, and he won't even pretend that's not because this way he'll at least have a chance of seeing Ginny, the Muggle Studies exam not having an afternoon practical component.
He's so busy calculating his chances that he isn't really paying attention where he's going, which is how he ends up face to face with Draco Malfoy. He can't help but tense, his hand twitching for his wand, which Malfoy definitely doesn't miss, his own shoulders tensing as if he's ready to pull his own wand.
Neither of them do though, instead just warily regarding each other. It's certainly not the first time Harry's seen him. Hard not to at least catch sight of the prat at meals or during the exams they're both sitting. But it is the first time he's been this close to him since the trial the summer before.
Harry can feel Ron shift next to him as the strange standoff stretches longer.
It takes Harry a moment to realize that Malfoy is not alone. Astoria Greengrass is right by his side, hand on his arm, but based on the way she's looking at Harry right now, he assumes that isn't so much to hold Malfoy back as to comfort him. Or protect him even.
Harry forces his arms to relax, hands falling by his side. "Malfoy," he says with a brief nod.
Malfoy's eyes widen just slightly before his lips press together. "Potter," he says, voice completely flat and uninflected.
They regard each other for a long moment before Harry steps around him, heading back down the hall without another word. There isn't really anything to say, after all.
It's not like he expects thanks for keeping Malfoy's sorry arse out of Azkaban. He'd meant it, that he hadn't done it for him. He realizes now that he hadn't even really done it for Ginny. He'd done it because Ginny makes him want to do better. To be better.
"Poncey git," Ron mutters darkly as he falls in step next to Harry, clearly not all that pleased to have avoided a confrontation. "And you. When did you learn self-control?"
Harry laughs at the disgust in Ron's voice. "You're just sad you didn't get to hit anyone with a rolling pin."
Ron sighs in what is probably nostalgia for Australia. "I do miss that bloody pub some days. Never a dull moment."
Harry can't say the same. He's pretty happy to be where he is. He frowns, thinking of Ginny and his fear that she's avoiding him. Still better than being in Australia, he tells himself.
Harry shoves his hands in his pockets. "Maybe you can buy a rolling pin when you get your first flat."
Ron brightens. "There's an idea. Maybe some good cast iron too." He swings his arm as if armed with an imaginary skillet.
Harry smiles, even if he doesn't quite feel it at the moment.
In the library, they settle at a table with Hermione. Harry tries to buckle down on his studies, figuring it's as good a way as any to distract himself. Not that he doesn't keep finding himself looking up at the doorway.
They've only been there about an hour when Harry looks up to see Ginny walking in. She's by herself, which is rare in the castle. She glances across the space, her eyes falling on him. He tries to tamp down the hope bubbling in his chest, telling himself she probably isn't here to see him, that she won't risk that, but she crosses straight over to their table, smiling at Ron before sitting down in the empty seat next to Harry.
"Hey," she says, giving him a quick smile as she unpacks her bag.
Harry feels himself relax. "Hey."
She and Ron chat for a while, discussing the latest letter from Charlie until Hermione's not-so-subtle sounds of annoyance finally turn them back to their work.
Harry takes what is probably a far from subtle look at Ginny. She doesn't seem like she slept particularly well.
She pulls a parchment out from the bottom of her stack of notes, and he realizes it's her special parchment.
Sorry I haven't been around much, she writes. It's actually close enough that he can easily read what she is writing without his own parchment, but he imagines it will look far less suspicious if he focuses on his own instead.
It's fine. Are you okay?
Look that terrible, do I?
"No," he denies, perhaps a bit too vehemently.
"What?" Ron asks, looking up from his study-induced trance.
"Oh, nothing," Harry says, scrambling. "I just got an answer wrong."
Ron nods. "Carry on, mate," he says bracingly. "You'll get it."
Ron goes back to his work and Harry glances at Ginny out of the corner of his eye. She's smiling down at the table.
Smooth, Potter, she writes.
He's just happy to have her smiling, even if it is over him being an idiot.
I'm surprised you can get any studying done at all with that gaggle following you around, she continues.
Harry frowns, glancing back over his shoulder. There's a table of about five witches and two wizards, far too young to be sitting an exam. They all immediately look away and dissolve into giggles when they see he's noticed.
Harry turns back to the table, sliding Ginny a questioning look.
The Harry Potter fan club, I imagine.
He drops his face into his hands, scrubbing his fingers up under his frames.
Don't worry. Neville had one for a while too. Heroes are just irresistible, I suppose. It's possible they'll get over it by the time you're 90.
He sighs, shaking his head and picking his quill back up. And you? Where's your club?
Oh, I'm too terrifying to have a fan club. Besides, everyone knows only wizards are heroes.
Well, that is a complete load of bollocks. Besides, you're far prettier than me.
Ginny makes a quiet sound of amusement into her sleeve, and Harry feels himself swell with contentment, so pleased to have been able to make her smile, to have said something right for once. Hell, so pleased to just have her here. Feeling daring, he slides his foot to the side until it touches hers. She gently presses back.
Someone hefts a bag onto the table with a thump, Harry jerking his face up. It's Burke with Hannah right at his side. Ginny straightens up, her foot moving away from his.
"Hey," Ginny says as Hannah sits down next to her, Burke claiming the empty seat next to Ron on the other side. The two nod awkwardly at each other.
"Hi," Hannah says, her cheeks pink as she smiles shyly at them.
"Hi, Hannah," Hermione says, giving her a kindly smile. "How are you feeling?"
Hannah only goes redder as everyone at the table looks at her. "Fine," she mumbles, head ducking.
"Potter," Burke says, voice carrying. "Didn't think you'd have to study, them just handing you your NEWTs."
Harry looks at him, surprised by this sudden attack, but after a moment realizes this isn't actually really aimed at him so much as Ginny. Burke is grinning widely at her, eyes alight with mischief, and Harry has to assume this is about the scene with Crispin at Slughorn's dinner. Made only bigger by word of mouth in the months since, no doubt.
Ron is glaring at Burke, mouth opening as if to lay in on him for saying that about Harry.
"Yup," Harry says before Ron can pull a rolling pin on him, "right after they make me Minister of Magic. But it's important to keep up appearances." He lifts a book, deliberately holding it upside down. "Which way do these go again, Hermione?"
She ignores him, clearly having no time for the ridiculousness around her.
"Oh, I get it," Burke says, nodding solemnly. "You're just paying someone else to take them for you."
There's a distinct clunk as something connects under the table, like maybe someone kicked the leg of the table. Ginny winces, reaching down for her foot with a curse.
Burke grins at her. "One of these days you're going to have to remember that."
Ginny flashes him a rude gesture and turns her attention to Hannah, who looks much more composed with everyone's attention directed to Harry rather than her.
"Did you talk with McGonagall?" Ginny asks, voice low.
Hannah nods. "Just got finished. She says I'll be able to take my exams in her office. And she's arranged for me to have extra time."
"Good," Ginny says, reaching out and squeezing her arm. "That's good."
Hannah shakes her head. "It just doesn't seem fair. Me getting more time."
Burke makes an impatient sound. "And how is it fair, everyone else getting to take a test without their hearts pounding in their ears or their thoughts scattering or not being able to breathe?"
Despite not liking to agree with Burke, Harry has to admit that's a fairly valid point.
Hannah doesn't seem to agree, her face pink, fingers twisting together in front of her. "It's stupid."
Burke frowns, looking put out that he hasn't convinced her.
"Like I was stupid?" Ginny asks, voice barely loud enough to be heard.
Harry swivels to look at her, but her face is turned away from him. Under the lip of the table, he can see that her hand is twisted in a fist in her lap.
"What?" Hannah says, face appalled.
"You saw how I was last summer," Ginny says.
Harry stops even trying to pretend he isn't paying attention now, something jolting in his chest. This is not something Ginny ever talks about. He shares an uneasy look with Ron, who's stopped studying as well, attention on his sister.
Hannah shakes her head. "That's not the same. You were… That was war! People had died. Horrible things—this is just a stupid test!"
Other than her hand tightening around her quill, Ginny appears unmoved by Hannah's impassioned outburst. "We don't get to chose what our brains get hung up on, Hannah."
Ginny turns slightly, just enough to glance at Harry, the briefest flick of her eyes. His stomach twists as he realizes what she means, because he was the problem, wasn't he? The thing that made her feel that way. The way these tests are making Hannah feel.
I just couldn't breathe.
He has to stop himself from reaching out and taking her hand. That summer was a long time ago, he reminds himself. Then again, she has been avoiding him. He's convinced he wasn't imagining that now.
Burke leans towards the girls across the table. "Hannah, you would never tell someone they were being stupid for struggling. You wouldn't even think it. So why don't you try being as nice to yourself as you'd be to someone else for once?"
"He has a point," Ginny says.
Hannah opens and closes her mouth for a moment, looking between her two friends. "Fine. You win," she says, clearly not up to fighting both of them.
"Good," Burke says. "I hate it when people forget that I'm always right."
Hannah manages a smile. Only then she looks down at her books and notes and the smile disappears. She looks thoroughly miserable.
"Harry?" Ginny says.
He starts, surprised to have her directly addressing him. "Yeah?"
She isn't quite looking him in the eye, he notices. "Do you know if Kreacher is in the castle?"
"Oh," he says, thinking it over. Grimmauld doesn't need much work when it's empty. "Probably."
She nods. "Do you think he'd be willing to sneak us some ice cream if you asked him?"
"Definitely." Even if Harry didn't technically have the power to order him about, it would probably make his month, getting to serve Harry in such an elaborate way.
Ginny turns back to Hannah. "What do you say? Should we take a study break? Stuff ourselves with some ice cream?"
Hannah looks like she's trying not to cry. "You don't have to—"
"Can't you see she's looking for an excuse not to study?" Burke says. "Come on. Be a good friend. Enable our bad habits."
Hannah's smile is a little shaky, but definitely there. "Sure. Of course. Never let it be said I got between anyone and ice cream."
Burke puts his arms up, pumping his fists in silent celebration.
Ginny nods, all business now that there's a plan afoot. "You and Hannah go to the DA room." She gestures towards Harry. "We'll get the supplies and meet you there."
"Great," Burke says, hopping to his feet and guiding Hannah out.
Ginny turns to Ron and Hermione. "Who's in?"
Hermione won't be budged, but Ron happily walks out with them as they head for the kitchens, looking relieved for the reprieve.
"This is like old times, yeah?" he says, bumping Harry's shoulder as they fall in step together behind Ginny.
Harry grins at him. "Minus looming threat of doom."
Ron shrugs. "Might rather face Fluffy and McGonagall's chess set right now than these sodding tests."
Harry agrees.
Ron jogs up to loop an arm over Ginny's shoulders. "I've never been more proud of you, little sis. Glad to know there's a little Gryffindor in you after all."
She shoves him off, rolling her eyes. "Speaking of Gryffindors, why don't you run up to the common room and tell everyone we're having a study break in the DA room?"
"Yeah, sure." He pats Harry on the shoulder. "See you in a bit." He disappears up the stairs.
Ginny turns to Harry. "Kitchens?"
He nods.
It seems strange to be on their own together like this. Not that they're alone. The castle is alive with students, both those avoiding studying and those who are lucky enough not to be fifth and seventh years. Ginny occasionally pauses to tell a student or two about the planned study break.
Harry just walks next to her, maintaining a very careful distance between them.
They are nearly to the kitchens when Ginny touches his arm and juts her chin towards an empty classroom. He dutifully ducks into it, watching as she charms the door shut behind them.
"Ginny?" he starts to ask, only to be cut off by her grabbing his tie and tugging it to bring his mouth down to hers.
She proceeds to kiss him very thoroughly and he is more than happy to return the favor despite the unexpectedness of it. By the time either of them come up for air, he's dragged her up against his body, his arms wrapped around her waist to lift her up.
He slowly lowers her back to her heels, resting his forehead against hers. "Not that I'm complaining. I mean, I'm definitely not. But what was that for?"
If he did something to earn that particular reaction, he'd like to know exactly what so he can do it as often as possible.
She shakes her head. "I guess I just…needed a reminder that I could. That I wouldn't…" She looks up at him helplessly.
You saw how I was last summer.
He can see that Hannah's panic attack has affected her far more than she's letting on, and suddenly her avoidance makes total sense. He's just glad she isn't doing it anymore.
"Well," he says, fingers brushing her cheek, "anytime you need a reminder, just let me know. Ten, twenty, fifty times a day. Whatever it takes."
She laughs. "So selfless."
"Completely," he agrees, leaning down and kissing her.
"We should get on that ice cream," she says with a sigh.
"In a minute," Harry says and kisses her again.
A lot of people have assembled in the DA room by the time they finally make it back. The room erupts with cheers as a small army of House Elves follows them in, lugging tubs of ice cream and bowls and sundae fixings.
They carefully break away from each other to separate sides of the room. Harry knows he doesn't trust himself that close to her right now and wonders if maybe she doesn't either.
He automatically moves to join Ron, who is happily heaping his ice cream with fixings, but pauses when he sees Hannah sitting off to one side.
Shifting on his feet, Harry picks up a bowl of ice cream and crosses over to her. "Hey."
She looks up at him, cheeks flushing. "Hi."
"Do you mind if I…?" he asks, gesturing at the open seat next to her.
"Oh! Sure. Of course."
After a moment's hesitation, Harry sits down next to her.
"I'm sorry," she says.
"For what?"
"I must seem so silly, especially to you of all people."
Harry frowns. "Why?"
"Getting worked up over something so unimportant."
Harry looks down at his ice cream, considering what he knows about Hannah. She'd been their medic during the war, he remembers. Did a good steady job of it when she helped him with his skrewt injuries the summer before. And Neville said more than once that she held them together. Ginny doesn't really talk about that year, but Hannah is one of her closest friends. That means something.
"I suppose you never heard about the time I trashed Dumbledore's office," Harry says.
Hannah looks up at him. "What? Really?"
He nods. "Broke absolutely everything I could get my hands on."
Her eyes widen.
He shrugs. "We all just…reach our limits sometimes, don't we? Doesn't make us weak. Just makes us…human."
"I suppose," she says, but he can't tell she still isn't convinced.
"Besides, maybe tests freak you out, but the war didn't, did it? From what I've heard, you were really there when people needed you."
Hannah flushes, looking down at her hands. "I tried to be."
He picks up a bowl of sprinkles and holds them out to her. "Then who cares about a bunch of tests?"
She smiles, reaching out and taking a spoonful to scatter over her ice cream.
Harry looks up to find Ginny watching them. She smiles at him.
The warmth in her eyes makes it feel like she's snogging him all over again.