Path 2

Dark Reaper

Her fingers ran over a soft surface, telling her that she was lying comfortably in a bed. Her chest and right arm however felt heavy, as well as strangely warm, clearly wrapped in something. From somewhere deep within her mind she remembered the hound, making her body and spirit shiver involuntarily. Daemons; that she had actually faced those monsters.

But she had survived. She felt the mattress beneath her, the scent of fresh herbs was in the air and she could hear the rustling of robes. She was safe.

Eventually, Yaidev opened her eyes slowly, soft whites and pastels greeting her, yet first she needed to accustom to the light. Like after her first battle, Yaidev found herself in the House of Healing, in one of its many beds, which were separated from one another by white curtains to provide a certain degree of privacy. Still, this time she had no recollections as to how she'd arrived here.

Certainly her brothers had brought her…

Suddenly a freezing cold took hold of her, the thought having triggered another memory. Felanwé…Her war-mask was off and now the realization of what had happened hit her with all force, all emotions. He was dead. Slain by a daemon.

Yaidev felt tears gathering in her eyes. His death was not a clear recollection though, it was almost just a feeling, but she knew nonetheless that it had happened. If only she'd been swifter; perhaps then he would be still alive. She closed her eyes again, simultaneously taking a deep breath, before swallowing her tears. She was an Aspect Warrior after all; that something like this would happen had been inevitable. And it would happen again during the course of her likely long life, yet these thoughts did not ease her pain.

The young eldar remained alone for some time, plenty for her to calm herself once again, though she could not divert her thoughts from Felanwé, or the touch of guilt in her heart. Otherwise, aside from her sorrow, she truthfully felt very calm, unusually so and she was still very tired. Eventually a healer approached her, white robed, his black hair braided into a long tail. He smiled gently as he stopped at her bed. "We meet again, Dark Reaper." He greeted her.

It was then Yaidev remembered; he was the healer, who had taken care of her injuries after her first battle with the orks. His name momentarily escaped her however. "So it would seem." She concurred mildly, hoping her eyes weren't red. "Though I suspect all warriors find their way to these halls more than once."

He nodded in agreement, still smiling. "Indeed; yours is a hazardous occupation. Now, with your permission I will examine your injuries."

Hesitantly she smiled, amused by his politeness, grateful for the distraction. "You have my permission, esteemed healer." Yaidev watched him as he began to take off the bandages around her arm, some sort of wraithbone exoskeleton having stabilised the limb. "What injuries did I suffer?"

"Your radius and ulna had been broken several times; it required several sessions to repair them properly." The healer explained calmly, without looking up, his hands feeling for the bones of her arm. Thankfully it didn't hurt. "The hole in your shoulder and the gashes along your torso have been closed, though marks will remain for some time until the new skin has become darker. The wound at your head, which had caused your unconscious state, is equally taken care off and there will be no lasting damage."

"You have my gratitude, healer." Yaidev regarded him for a while as he began to recite the incantation to stimulate the cells of her bones and flesh, which resembled a slow song. She could feel the psychic energy run through her arm, cooling and comfortable, though soon joined by a strange prickling sensation as if the limb had gone to sleep and the blood had just begun to rush back into it. After a few minutes it became difficult to keep her arm perfectly still, but she managed, toes moving restlessly instead. Only when his song ended did she address him again, the prickling sensation thankfully fading fast. "You seem more at ease, then during our first encounter." Yaidev noted a little curiously, testing carefully the movement of her arm and hand for but a moment.

"I have been a healer for quite some time now; I suppose I've grown accustomed to the company of Aspect Warriors." He explained as he began to put her arm back in the wraithbone-splint again, Yaidev merely nodding as a response. He finished up, but spoke to her one more time before he departed. "Your Exarch came to visit yesterday; I'm certain he will try again today." Admittedly Yaidev was surprised to hear this, but certainly glad as well and she smiled weakly again. "Rest for now, revered warrior." He advised her kindly. "He will want you to return to your shrine as soon as possible."

As he left, Yaidev leaned back, her head sinking into the soft pillow. Even though she closed her eyes, there was no peaceful rest for her, now that she was undistracted again. Her sorrow still had too much a hold on her heart and with the healer gone, it was all that kept her company.

…

Her Exarch visited her in the evening, when she'd already eaten supper, likely after he had finished training for this day. If he had gained any significant injuries during the battle, they were long treated and Cadaith seemed as healthy as he'd ever been, for which Yaidev was thankful. He regarded her with a neutral expression as he approached.

"I'm glad to see you've finally awoken." He told her and though his voice betrayed no joy, she knew from experience that he meant it.

Yaidev smiled mildly and nodded once, sitting up as she did. "As am I. For how long have I remained in darkness?" So far she'd simply forgotten to ask, which surprised her, but then again her mind had been occupied with other things.

He stopped next to her bed and studied her, as if he was evaluating her health. "Three days you have slumbered. I've spoken with the healer, who tended to you these past cycles and he assured me that you'll soon be able to return to the shrine, in two days at the longest."

"So he told me this evening." The healer, who she know remembered was called Naverhan, had brought her supper and while she'd been eating, he had spoken with her again, if only briefly. "How are the others, Exarch?" It was unlikely that something had happened after she'd been knocked out, but she was concerned nonetheless. Something could have crossed the eldar's path during their retreat after all.

Cadaith's eyes met hers. "Both Maldorahn and Ilthaldir have only received minor injuries and have returned to the shrine with me. They have already recommenced their training once more."

She sighed relieved, gladdened that at least her other two brothers were well. But her question was not yet answered fully. "What of Felanwé?" Her voice was low when she spoke and she tried her best to hide her true emotions as she attempted to sound factual. It was only a partial success.

Cadaith did not answer her right away, instead he only regarded her at first, frowning as he did. There was something uncomfortable about his gaze and a part of Yaidev shivered. "His soul has passed on into the infinity circuit and his body was given to his clan." Cadaith finally told her calmly.

Yaidev merely nodded, giving no verbal response; at least his soul was save and for that she was truly grateful.

"How are you dealing with the past battle? You're encounter with the daemons?" Her Exarch was cupping his chin with his one hand; was there something troubling him? "Even when wearing the war-mask, we can never fully ignore their presence and pretend as if they were mortal enemies."

"I do not know what to feel." Yaidev slowly confessed, averting her gaze, looking at her hands instead. "I was not afraid then, but now my mind seems to play out every horrible scenario that could have befallen me. The thought of possibly having to face them again…I dread it a little." Frankly Yaidev felt no true desire for battle of any kind; she was still exhausted and looked forward to a long night's rest. Maybe when she was asleep the recent memories would not plague her for a while.

Cadaith was silent for a moment, a minute or so, before he replied, his voice low and almost grave. "We eldar have long ago devoted ourselves to fight the Powers of Chaos and perhaps no one else is as affected by them as we are. I suppose it is safe to say that every eldar faces either their worshippers or daemons at least once in his or her lifetime. You must accept this simple truth and you must be prepared." With his hand he first pointed at his head then his heart as he continued. "Both your body and spirit must be primed, even if it should be centuries before you encounter them again."

Yaidev felt herself taking a deeper breath through her nose. It was certainly not a pleasant or reassuring prospect and she wished that she could argue against it, but having studied Saim-Hann's deeds in the past, she knew that her Exarch spoke the truth.

For a while she continued to consider his word, but when she looked at him again, Yaidev noticed that he was still regarding her with a frown, almost as if he was pondering something himself, something about her. And it did not seem to be about her health. "Exarch?" This time she could not hide her emotions, her voice betraying her worry.

His eyes met hers again and once more a chill went through her body. "You should rest, Yaidev and complete your recovery. I'll be waiting in shrine for your return."

Yaidev blinked rapidly, surprised by this sudden leave-taking, but slowly she nodded; Cadaith coming here to look in on her had been unsuspectedly courteous of him as it was. "I will join you as soon as I'm able." She promised him confidently.

Cadaith simply nodded and turned around, leaving her without another word spoken, a healer he met stepping aside, bowing to the Exarch as he did. The young eldar looked after him until he left the hall and disappeared behind the arching doorway. His words had given her new subjects to think about and she would have the rest of the evening to do just that.

It could indeed be centuries before she encountered daemons again. Surely she would no longer be an Aspect Warrior by then anymore, she would be on another Path, living another life. Would she ride with her clan, when that time came? Like Nuadhu and his kindred when they had challenged and vanquished the servants of She-Who-Thirsts?

Yaidev remembered that once during her training she'd considered to leave her clan, to renounce her rank and claims. Yaidev sighed; it had been considerations born in rage for the most part, not reason. While it was true that she no longer hated her clan for what had happened the day Shadira died, she could not forget how they had always treated her. She'd cursed their pride in the past that she had been cast aside for not being a warrior like them and she disliked it still.

But something had changed; especially during the Nua-Haras she had noticed that she did not wish to remain a pariah of her clan. To have seen them all together, celebrating and confirming that they would stand by each other in all times. Just this simple look in her father's eyes. Yaidev wanted to belong; she wanted this sense of family, which she'd lost so many years ago. And even if she had friends outside, who would stand by her, it was not the same as her own clan, her flesh and blood.

Yaidev ran a hand over her face and stared at the white ceiling. Whatever she did after she'd completed the Path of the Warrior, she could certainly not run away. This was something she should not solve alone. When the time came, she would need to confront her father and face these very personal daemons.

Yaidev left the House of Healing the following evening. After another night's rest and a few more meals her strength had returned and she had been eager to leave the bed. With her arm completely healed Naverhan had allowed her to return to her shrine, though he'd advised her to nurse the limb for a few more days to assure that the freshly and quickly repaired bones could achieve the stability of those normally grown.

She'd thanked him a final time for his services, before leaving, heading straight for the shrine of the Singing Scythe. When she reached the Temple of Khaine she noticed that she actually did not quite look forward to return to her training. Was it because Felanwé would no longer be at their side? There was this heavy feeling in her chest again.

Her pace slowed as she passed the green at the temple's centre and reached the path, leading to the various Dark Reaper shrines, even though only one was currently occupied. Yaidev noticed to her confusion that she was slightly shivering. Had it always been this cold here? It almost seemed to pierce marrow and bone, seeping into her. Perhaps she wasn't quite healthy just yet.

She was even more puzzled when she found the portal to the shrine open. Frowning she stepped in, somewhat cautiously, as if she expected to be ambushed any moment. Something felt off.

Nothing however happened as Yaidev followed the dark, narrow path into the shrine, the portal closing behind her as it usually did. Still, it was almost relieving to find Exarch Cadaith sitting at the circle consisting of the black and the white drop, cross-legged, calmly meditating as it seemed. He only opened his eyes, when she began to walk around the circle, his pale green irises regarding her thoughtfully, their white glow dimming.

"I've been waiting for you, Yaidev." The young eldar stiffened slightly at his words, her frown returning. Doubtlessly something was wrong. "There is something I've noticed upon visiting you in the House of Healing." He explained calmly and straightforwardly; Exarchs tended to be more direct than other eldar. "Something I need to speak with you about."

"Have I failed you in some way, Exarch?" She asked worriedly in return, a thumb running over the other fingers nervously. Not even during their first encounter had she felt like this.

Thankfully he shook his head. "Fear not, for you have done no such thing." Cadaith assured her. "No, it is something about you. Tell me, what is it that you felt around the Aspect Warriors before you found your way into my shrine?"

Yaidev blinked rapidly for a moment, astonished and once more confused, though eventually she answered. "Coldness; something like a cold fire, touching upon my very spirit. It was always uncomfortable, even unnerving to be close to them, as if their very presence conveyed the anger and the horrors of war."

"Yes, the influence of Khaine." He agreed and nodded. "Ever since we've learned of the dangers the darker aspects of our nature hold, ever since we've learned the consequences of our excesses, our debauchery, those to have fled upon the craftworlds have gone to great length to separate themselves from these parts we all carry within us. Khaine's touch has become alien to the focused minds of our kin, until they must embrace it in order to learn control."

"Pardon, Cadaith, but I do not see what you wish to tell me." Only now did he rose to his feet, his gaze now meeting hers directly and she just managed not to look away. A thought flashed through her mind. Could it be? Had it been enough time?

"When I visited you I sensed something and your body language was clear. I knew immediately that something had changed."

Yaidev closed her eyes and chuckled, amused about herself; she should have seen the signs, they had been so plain, even though her thoughts had mostly been with Felanwé. Perhaps that had been enough distraction to hide the obvious from her sight.

He took a step towards her and she needed to look up to keep eye contact. "Your war-mask was off, but I sensed no fire within you." A few of his fingers ran over his chin. "You were calm, you were at peace."

"My anger…"

"Has been spent; the one which brought you to me. Khaine's flames had nothing left to feed upon and died."

Yaidev looked at her hands and whispered to herself. "I'm no longer a Dark Reaper?"

His expression remained neutral. "You have learned to control your darker nature, at least your lust for blood and battle, your need for destruction. It has been forged into the war-mask to remain safely locked away until the day you may need it again in another battle." Suddenly he looked at her sternly; he would tolerate no objection. "And I urge you to don it in such times, for when you wear it, you are ever in control and protected, but without it that darkness might take you over one day."

A nod. "I understand." She began slowly and met his gaze again. "So I must leave to seek another Path?"

"Yes; I have brought your gowns from the day of your arrival and I must ask you to return the vestments I've lend you." With a hand he gestured to the forest. "You'll find them behind that tree."

Yaidev merely nodded again and walked, almost automatically as if she herself was not entirely in control. She did not exactly know how to feel about this turn of events. Happy? No, she wasn't quite, though a part of her was relieved to leave the Path of the Warrior in this manner. She could move on. She felt…free.

Nibbling a little on her bottom lip, her thoughts then went to Ilthaldir and Maldorahn, those she considered friends; it seemed that she would not be allowed to say her goodbyes to them and she wondered if she would ever see them again in the future. Hopefully; this was not how things should end between them, not after having trained, fought and bleed beside one another.

Yaidev reached the large, deciduous tree, some branches so low that she needed to duck her head, in order to get to the other side. There she saw that Cadaith had placed her robes on a flat rock, neatly folded and clean. It felt like a long time since she'd worn anything that wasn't a uniform of the shrine.

She let her fingers run over the soft fabric, which compared to the Dark Reaper uniform was rather thin. It would be strange to wear something so light again.

Yaidev slipped out of her black robe and then part for part into those of her clan, dominated by red and green, the two golden, intertwined snaked proudly on her back. After she had tied the black cloth around her waist, she folded the Reaper uniform, but hesitated before she returned to Cadaith and took a deep breath.

Perhaps it was fitting; a death had brought her here and another led her away again. Of course it was not only Felanwé's death, but it seemed foolish to believe that it hadn't played a part. Somewhat like the final push perhaps.

But whereto now?

With the folded uniform in her hands, she remerged from the trees, her gown billowing a little with each step she took. Even the sole of her shoes were thinner and Yaidev felt every single unevenness of the ground beneath them.

Cadaith simply watched her approach and it appeared to take an eternity before she reached him. The young eldar handed him the black clothes and after he'd taken them he opened a pouch at his belt. "I want you to take this with you, to remind yourself of where you have wandered and what you've learned here." He placed a necklace with a rune in her hand, made of black wraithbone; the rune of the Dark Reapers. Yaidev regarded it with a soft smile, only looking up when Cadaith spoke anew. "It was a pleasure teaching you and so I thank you, for all that you've learned."

She opened her mouth to say something, but closed it again to bow first. "It was an honour to be your student." Yaidev clenched her hand with the rune and placed it on top of her heart. "Thank you for all you have taught me." And she meant every word.

For a moment it seemed as if one of the corners of his mouth lifted, as if there had almost been a smile. "Elith, Yaidev Baharothaís." Rider of Winds, Stormrider; yes, once again and perhaps more so then before. Perhaps. "May you find fulfilment on all your Paths."

Yaidev was truly thankful for his words; he again proved kinder than she'd expected. "I shall and I promise to remember every lesson I've learned here."

"I sense you speak of more than the art of battle?"

She smiled anew, almost timidly so this time. "Not all lessons were addressed directly, but I believe I have changed since my time as a poet, though to what degree I cannot yet tell." In any case, much of her views had changed; warriors were easier to understand, to empathize with them, after one had experienced battle. And her kindred, the Stormriders, consisted like all clans of Saim-Hann of warriors.

"Such changes will not remain a mystery for long." He assured her and this time he gestured with his hand towards the path leading back to the exit. "One last thing before you leave; Felanwé was of the Windserpent clan. I know yours as no qualm with them."

Cadaith knew her surprisingly well; did he suspect what she planned to do? "Thank you, Exarch."

He did not say goodbye again, merely nodded and not waiting for another response, Yaidev finally turned around. Her steps were slow at first, almost as if she was cautious, just like on her arrival. In truth she was merely very much in thought this time. So many things needed to be considered now.

Yaidev walked around the circle and on to the gravel path, never turning around, the walls coming ever closer as she left the dome. The slim hallway was still dark, though the solidary lightstone above the portal guided her. It somewhat felt as if it was getting warmer with each step she took, her heart getting a little lighter.

When she had nearly reached the two-winged gate, it opened, like it always had, by itself. It was a strange prospect that this would be the final time she would walk through here. Light flooded into the hallway, though it wasn't bright.

For a moment Yaidev hesitated, but finally with a deep breath, took the last step.

Soundlessly the great portals closed behind her, and finally Yaidev turned around. For a while she regarded the entry to the shrine, the bone coloured portal with the Aspect's rune upon it, with a certain wistfulness. Once again she was at a crossroad and this time she did not know where to go.

Author's Note: A little shorter than my usual chapters, but as the Path of the Warrior ends here for Yaidev, it seems right to stop when she leaves the shrine and to begin with the new in the next chapter. If some aspects like her musing concerning Felanwé's death, leaving the Path of the Warrior and her clan in general felt a little brief and incomplete, I just want to point out that these things will be addressed in conversations next time and I don't want to repeat everything. You'd find it boring too.

Since my semester break is over and I've only now begun with the next instalment, this story will be continued next month. See you then.