2.
That smile, that lovely smile greeted me as the boat closed in on the dock. He jumped off and was in my arms before I even had time to think.
- I missed you love, he said and kissed me. I felt myself smiling against his lips, having missed them more than I realized now that I had them again.
- I missed you too Killian. A lot, a lot. It's good to have you home. I sighed against his chest as he hugged me tight. He stroked my hair with his good hand and said:
- I'm glad to be here. I'm so tired, have barely slept for days. We had a bad storm coming out of Neverland, and the ship barely made it through. Every one's alright though, except Davis – he got knocked over by the rig. But he'll be alright in the end I guess.
-Neverland? I looked questioningly into his eyes and let go of him slightly. Why would you go there?
- We thought the lost boys might've gotten a hold of the Mad Hatter, but we couldn't find him, or the hat this time either. Sorry love, but we had to. He looked at me with a hint of guilt in his eyes, but I could see the fire burning behind it – the fire of adventure and thrill that fueled him. He also knew I didn't like that place, therefore the guilt. I swallowed.
- As long as it went alright. I'm happy to have you home… He smiled and caressed my chin, gave me a smaller kiss on my forehead.
Now that I had time to really look at him he did look ragged and tired. A bit thinner then when he left too. I eyed him from head to toe and he laughed at me.
- I know I look terrible love, but I feel just fine. Just need some sleep and some food. Will you come to Grannie's with me and pick up a burger? I've longed for those since we set sail.
- I wish I could, but I'm actually just on a break from work, I'm meeting up with dad at the station…I looked at my clock… crap, I was supposed to be there twenty minutes ago! We're supposed to drive over to Archie's together to ask him about a few things. But I'll catch up with you at home in a couple of hours, alright?
I called my dad on the way to the station, explaining that Killian had come home. Being my dad he supported me of course, but I could detect a hint of worry in his voice as he expressed his happiness at my husbands return. I knew he and my mom was concerned that Hook was travelling so much these days, and since he and Hook didn't exactly have the best start to their relationship I was always tentative about sharing the whole truth with him. Mom was easier, she got me better, but dad could really go into his parent mode and tune in on every potential threat to my happiness as if it was his job to make sure my life was perfect. It was still hard getting used to, since I never had it growing up, and it was still made weirder by the fact that we looked and acted pretty much the same age. I'd only told him that this was our decision, that we needed the Mad Hatters' hat and that Hook was the best man for the job, leaving out the fact that he looked for something to get him out of town now and then. The thought made me gloomier than ever and I paced up my step towards work, hoping that this denial was only for his sake and not also for myself.
I got home around five, work had kept me busy and I hadn't had time to think too much about return to town. As I opened the gate to our yard, looking at the front porch I hesitated thinking for a second that I might leave and go back. It was a beautiful old wooden house, nice porch, big yard with fruit trees and secret hideouts. Truly a dream for someone like me who never had a proper home, and we chose it because it felt like a place to stay in forever, somewhere we would never have to leave. I felt the tinge of bitterness at my tongue.
Why did I hesitate? I thought for a second, searching for what my body was trying to tell me by pausing. I guess was afraid that I'd meet someone I didn't recognize – that every trip made him more of a stranger and less and less mine in a way. I knew I was being selfish, that I couldn't own him and that no amount of travelling would make him less mine, but that little abandoned girl I once was urging me to leave before I got hurt again. I swallowed hard, taking a deep breath and smoothing back my hair. "come on Swan, you got this. He's your husband, he chose you for life", I thought to myself and started walking up the steps to the front door. As I pushed the heavy old wooden door open the smell of him filled my nostrils and made me feel slightly calmer. His leather bag was sitting on a chair in the entrance, but the house seemed empty, no sound that could signal his whereabouts.
A short while later I found him, sleeping heavily on the covers in our bedroom. He hadn't taken hos travelling clothes of and smelled of seawater and sweat. I sat down next to him, stroking his cheek slowly. His beard was longer than when he left, his hair too. I let my hand comb out a few strands of it, rough and dirty but still soft. He snored and moved around, but didn't wake. "Now what?" I thought to myself. "Should I wake him?" He looked so tired that I didn't have the heart to do it. Instead I walked downstairs and found a brown bag on the table with a sandwich from Grannie's inside. He'd left it for me – a note said: if you are hungry after work, on it. I ate quickly, while browsing through a newspaper left on the table.
Henry was at Regina's, but was probably out with his girlfriend at this moment, they usually spent Fridays together. "Jesus, it's Friday already" I thought to myself, feeling a bit pathetic with my slightly stale sandwich and sleeping husband. I thought I'd try making myself feel better so I turned on some of my favorite music, not too loud to wake Hook but loud enough to drown out the loneliness a bit, and started building a fire in the fireplace. Afterwards I poured myself a glass of red wine and cozied up on the couch with the book I was reading at the moment.
Half an hour later I was feeling restless, and not knowing what to do I decided to take a shower. Having lived a big part of your life on the road I always loved to get clean, not taking the opportunity for granted. I could shower for hours if no one stopped me.
Well in the shower I felt most of my worries melt away along with the almost burning hot water that met my skin. I let myself be totally engulfed in the water, barely hearing the music outside, and not quite listening either. I thought to myself that I needed to calm down and stop worrying so damn much. I had my family, my husband and my son; everyone was in my life and we were all happy. "This is our happy ending, remember?" I felt my shoulders relaxing downwards and let out a small sigh trying to convince myself. All of sudden a gush of cold air seeped in behind me and I was not alone in the shower cabinet. I felt his breath on my neck as he spoke.
- I never noticed you getting home. Sorry love. I felt myself shudder as his hand touched my bare skin at the neck. Damn it, we'd been together for a long time and he still gave me goose bumps when I wasn't paying attention. He was my husband, there was no need to feel shy, in fact we used to shower together all the time before, but something about not seeing him for a while made me feel like this was the first time he saw me naked. I swallowed and turned around meeting his gaze. I was almost as tall as him, my nose meeting his chin. He leaned in and kissed me, making me take a step backwards which led him straight under the water jet. He let out a sigh of relief as the hot water met his face and body, and I could see dirt mixing with the water and running down his skin, pooling at our feet. I really didn't know what to say, so instead I grabbed some soap and started rubbing his chest. It was not really sexual; it felt more like taking care of him. It was satisfying practically seeing the dirt mingle with the soap and leaving his body. But when he met my eyes for the second time, and kissed me again, we didn't stop for a long while.
Later we got out of the shower and got dressed in some clean clothes, which was one of my favorite things in the world. Again, something from my past that I still couldn't take for granted. We headed downstairs where the fireplace still burned, but had gone down to a soft ember glow. He poured us a couple of glasses of rum and we cozied down on the couch.
- So now, captain. Tell me about your trip!