Disclaimer: I don't own Percy Jackson or Harry Potter.
The Ever Twisting Wind: The Lightning Thief
Chapter Nine: I'm On Prime Time TV!
"Oh, no you're not!" Apollo scoffed once Piper read the chapter title. "As if you're that worthy of prime time."
The next afternoon, on June 14, seven days before the solstice, the train rolled into Denver. Thankfully, Andi still had that fifty bucks from the start of the quest so the group could at least get something to eat, but only sparingly, since she was trying to get it to last. They hadn't showered yet, but with Andi's magic they were still able to clean up reasonably well— it was hardly a substitute for a nice warm bath, but at least the smell was gone.
Andi had, after complaining under breath about having to carry the seaweed brain's stuff , stuffed his trophy into her bag; the presence of yet another horn creating a large repertoire of jokes for Annabeth to draw from, something the blonde abused relentlessly.
"Let's try to contact Chiron," Annabeth eventually said. "I want to tell him about your talk with the river spirit."
"We can't use phones, right?"
"I'm not talking about phones, Seaweed Brain."
"Aw, yeah, magic time." Leo smirked.
Thalia scowled and folded her arms over her chest.
Nonplussed, Andi with many experiences with magic, promptly assumed it was some magical means of communication that most likely was quite odd; after all, sticking one's head into a lit fireplace wasn't exactly normal either.
They wandered through downtown for about half an hour, the group following Annabeth, as she kept looking for something. It was hot and dry out, so Andi was using her aerokinesis s to cool herself down; she was used to the chilly winds of Scotland and the current weather was starting to take its toll on her.
Finally, they found an empty do-it-yourself car wash; veering towards the stall farthest from the street, with Andi using the Mist the best she could to cover them so they weren't spotted by any patrol cars, they ducked inside.
"What exactly are we doing?" Percy asked, as Grover took out the spray gun.
"It's seventy-five cents," he grumbled, yanking out a couple of coins from his back pocket. "I've only got two quarters left. Annabeth?"
"Don't look at me, Andi has the money."
"Yes, make the attempted murderer pay."
"Okay, Poseidon, that's too much." Rhea warned.
"Sorry."
The aforementioned girl rolled her eyes and pulled out a dollar; they only had twenty two bucks and seventy three cents left, and that was combined, along with 4 drachma too. "I'll get change," she announced, and moments later, she had four quarters.
"Excellent," Grover remarked. "We could do it with a spray bottle, of course, but the connection isn't as good, and my arm gets tired of pumping."
"What are you talking about?" Percy asked once more, sounding really curious.
The satyr fed in the quarters and set the knob to FINE MIST. "I-M'ing."
"Instant messaging?"
"Iris-messaging," Annabeth corrected the resident of Cabin Three. "The rainbow goddess Iris carries messages for the gods. If you know how to ask, and she's not too busy, she'll do the same for half-bloods."
"You summon a goddess with a spray gun?" Andi asked in disbelief.
"You don't?" Hermes asked as he pumped a Super Soaker.
"Hermes, if you squirt me with that, your precious brown trucks will be the target of my ire." Artemis warned.
"I'll just obliterate you." Athena shrugged.
"...Dite?" Hermes arched a brow.
"I'd be for it if the demigods weren't here...I'd rather not get yelled at again so soon." Aphrodite muttered with a frown.
Grover pointed the nozzle in the air and water hissed out in a thick white mist. "Unless you know an easier way to make a rainbow."
"…I think there's a spell for that." Andi mumbled.
"Andi," Annabeth groaned, "That would have been helpful to know!"
"It's not like you told me what we were doing Bethy." The black haired girl flushed. "And I don't know it yet." She mumbled, "I'll put it on my to-do list when we get back." She finished with an assured nod.
Sure enough, late afternoon light filtered through the vapor and was scattered, creating a small rainbow that arched down from the spray gun to rest at Andi's feet.
"Drachma, please." Annabeth said as she held her palm out to Percy, who had been holding onto the coins.
Andi had previously stated there was no way he could lose them; it was like a trust test the daughter of Zeus joked.
"...Wow, she really made that joke?" Leo asked, wincing. Even he wasn't that dumb when it came to making jokes about situations.
Percy's eye twitched.
The son of the sea was irked by that, but held onto them nonetheless. He fished one out and handed it to the blonde child of wisdom.
Annabeth raised the coin over her head. "O goddess, accept our offering." With that, she threw the drachma into the rainbow. It disappeared into the multi-coloured beam in a modest golden shimmer.
"Half-Blood Hill," Annabeth requested.
For a moment, nothing happened, and Andi began to wonder if they had just wasted a Drachma on a Goddess too busy to bother with them. Then suddenly, the rainbow shimmered and the beam shivered and shook as colors melted together — quickly forming into the image of the strawberry fields; and the Long Island Sound in the distance. It was probably the porch of the Big House. Standing with his back to them, his upper body bent over the railing as he rested his arm on it, was a sandy-haired guy in shorts and an orange tank top. He was holding a bronze sword in one hand and idly tapping the beam with the other: seemingly staring intently at something out of view down in the meadow.
"Luke!" Percy called.
He turned, eyes wide. Andi could swear the older boy was standing three feet in front of her through a screen of mist, except she could only see the part of him that appeared in the rainbow.
"That is pretty cool." Andi whispered to herself, god messaging, awesome.
"Percy! Squirt!" His scarred face broke into a grin. "Is that Annabeth, too? Thank the gods! Are you guys okay?"
"...I was fine. Then you showed up again." Ares grumbled.
"No one cares." Hephaestus grunted.
"And eff you too, Crip."
"Luke." Huffing at the nickname, Andi pouted as she struggled to look annoyed.
"We're ... uh ... fine," Annabeth stammered. She was madly straightening her T-shirt and trying to comb the loose hair out of her face. "We thought- Chiron- I mean- "
"Wow, I thought you were good at English, Annabeth."
"McLean, shut up."
Andi rolled her eyes at her behavior, geez Annabeth, honestly.
"See? Andi agrees."
Annabeth gave the smirking girl a heated glare.
"He's down at the cabins." Luke's smile faded. "We're having some issues with the campers. Listen, is everything cool with you? Is Grover all right?"
"I'm right here," Grover called. He held the nozzle out to one side and stepped into Luke's line of vision. "What kind of issues?"
Just then a big Lincoln Continental pulled into the car wash with its stereo turned to maximum and booming hip-hop. As the car slid into the next stall, the bass from the subwoofers vibrated so much, it shook the pavement.
"Hey! Ho! Everybody gonna party in the yard-y!"
"Apollo, stop raising the roof." Rhea chided her grandson.
"Aw...Fine..."
"Chiron had to - what's that noise?" Luke yelled.
"I'll take care of it.'" Annabeth yelled back, looking very relieved to have an excuse to get out of sight. "Grover, come on!"
"What?" Grover said. "But-"
"Give Percy the nozzle and come on!" She ordered, her face gaining a faint flush.
Grover muttered about girls being harder to understand than the Oracle at Delphi before he handed Percy the spray gun and followed Annabeth.
"Eh, well, she's usually a girl, so..." Percy shrugged.
"...So what?" Annabeth asked with a look.
"So...uh..." Percy looked to his fellow males for help, but found none. He hung his head in defeat and sighed. "Insert foot now?"
"That would be smart."
After a quick readjusting of the rainbow, both children of the Big Three could now see Luke.
"Chiron had to break up a fight," Luke shouted to them over the music. "Things are pretty tense here, Percy. Word leaked out about the Zeus–Poseidon standoff. We're still not sure how - probably the same scumbag who summoned the hellhound. Now the campers are starting to take sides. It's shaping up like the Trojan War all over again. Aphrodite, Ares, and Apollo are backing Poseidon, more or less. Athena is backing Zeus."
"Oh, Luke...You moron..." Hermes groaned when both of his uncles glared at him. Why did his boy have to incriminate himself?
"Triple A, we got dis!" Apollo whooped.
"You sided with her and the oaf again? ...Really?" Artemis asked dryly.
"Er...Yeah."
Percy shuddered to think that Clarisse's cabin would ever be on his dad's side for anything. And he paled at the thought of having to fight Andi. She was a scary little thing, and he held no qualms of admitting that, especially after she threatened to turn him into a newt once. Andi was frowning too, and Percy had his suspicions why but couldn't be sure.
In the next stall, they could hear Annabeth and some guy arguing with each other, then the music's volume decreased drastically.
"So what's your status?" Luke asked them, briefly throwing a concerned look over his shoulder before turning back to them. "Chiron will be sorry he missed you."
Percy told him pretty much everything, except the dreams, which he only left out because Andi kept stepping on his foot every time he tried to talk about them. They kept talking and they didn't realize how long they had talked until the beeper went off on the spray machine, one minute left it seemed.
"I wish I could be there," Luke told them as he sighed. "We can't help much from here, I'm afraid, but listen...it had to be Hades who took the Master Bolt. He was there at Olympus at the winter solstice. I was chaperoning a field trip and we saw him."
"But Chiron said the gods can't take each other's magic items directly."
"That's true," Luke replied, his brow furrowed. "Still...Hades has the Helm of Darkness. How could anybody else sneak into the throne room and steal the Master Bolt? You'd have to be invisible."
They fell to silence as Andi stiffened at the notion, actually glaring at Luke for suggesting that and the blond realized what he'd said.
"Man, still a douche." Leo shook his head.
"Oh, hey," he protested. "I didn't mean Annabeth. She and I have known each other forever. She would never...I mean, she's like a little sister to me."
Both Percy and Andi winced a tiny bit, yeah, that probably wasn't what Annabeth was pining for.
"Oh, so close." Aphrodite winced. "Poor little Annabeth...Oh well, that's what Percabeth is for."
In the stall next to the demigods, the music stopped completely. A man screamed in terror, car doors slammed, and the Lincoln peeled out of the car wash.
"You'd better go see what that was," Luke said. "Listen, are you wearing the flying shoes? I'll feel better if I know they've done you some good."
"Oh...uh, yeah!" Percy replied, trying his best not to mask the guilt threatening to overtake his tone. "Yeah, they've come in handy."
"Really?" He grinned. "They fit and everything?"
"Sound a little more eager, why don't you?" Ares asked.
"Shut up, jerk." Hermes scowled.
The water shut off. The mist started to evaporate.
"Well, take care of yourself out there in Denver," Luke called, his voice getting fainter. "And tell Grover it'll be better this time! Nobody will get turned into a pine tree if he just-"
A knowing look crossed Andi's face at Luke's words, but Percy couldn't figure out what she had figured out. Maybe he'd ask her later.
The mist was gone, and Luke's image faded to nothing. For a moment the two children of the Big Three were left alone, and the silence was stifling, before Grover and Annabeth came back, laughing, from around the corner; Grover began to say something, but stopped when he saw the black haired childrens' faces. Annabeth's smile faded. "What happened, guys? What did Luke say?"
"Not much," Percy lied, thankful that Andi didn't say anything about what Luke had really said.
"Come on, let's find some dinner." Percy said finally, after a moment of awkward silence.
"Yeah...Awkward is understating it, Percy." Leo mused.
"He's pretty good at that. I mean...He told Hades it would be 'bad'." Annabeth smiled at her brooding boyfriend.
"...You are so lucky you're pretty." Percy muttered.
A few minutes later, the questers were sitting at a gleaming chrome booth in a diner. All around them, families were eating burgers and drinking malts and sodas.
Finally the waitress came over. She raised her eyebrow skeptically. "Well?"
Percy said, "We, um, want to order dinner."
"You kids have money to pay for it?"
"Only a little you guys," Andi sighed out, it was tough trying to keep their budget manageable across the states.
Suddenly a rumble shook the whole building; a motorcycle the size of a baby elephant had pulled up to the curb.
"Aw yeah, cameo time." Ares grinned eagerly.
All conversation in the diner stopped. The motorcycle's headlight cast a bloody pallor as it glared at nothing. Its gas tank had flames painted on it, and a shotgun holster was riveted to either side, complete with shotguns. The seat was leather - but leather that looked eerily like Caucasian human skin.
The biker cut the engine and swung off the bike, paying no heed to it's groaning screech or the engine's splutter. He was dressed in a red muscle shirt and black jeans and a black leather duster, with a hunting knife strapped to his thigh. He wore red wraparound shades, and he had the cruelest, most brutal face you'd ever seen - handsome, one could say, but wicked - with an oily black crew cut and cheeks that were scarred from many, many fights. All in all, this guy looked like the kind of person to chew glass and beat bears into the ground when bored.
Arid gales rushed through the diner as he entered, bringing with it the stench of blood baked in the sun and the tang of hungry metal. All the people rose, as if they were hypnotized, but the biker waved his hand dismissively and they all sat down again and went back to their conversations. The waitress blinked, as if somebody had just pressed the rewind button on her brain. She asked them again, "You kids have money to pay for it?"
"It's on me." The biker grunted, sliding into their booth, which was way too small for him, and crowded Annabeth and Grover against the window.
"Generous of you, Ares." Rhea mused.
"See? I can be nice."
"You should still wash up a bit." Aphrodite chided with a scrunched up nose. Arid gales of blood baked in the sun. Ew.
He looked up at the waitress, who was gaping at him, and frowned, "You still here?"
He pointed at her and she stiffened. She turned as if she'd been spun, then marched back toward the kitchen.
The biker turned to looked at Percy and Andi. They couldn't see his eyes behind the red shades, but if Percy's tense body language was anything to go by, he was pumping out something that was making him feel like picking a fight.
Andi was no different; her fists were clenched, and her knuckles were white as wind picked up around her. Her anger was just rising and rising like the temperature outside, and she couldn't stop it. Whatever compulsion this guy was doing was getting the better of her, no matter what exercises Chiron taught her to calm down her powers.
"Always so eager to pick a fight." Hera sighed.
"Ah, it's fun!"
He shot them a wicked grin. "So you're old Seaweed's kid and the old man's new brat, huh?"
Percy's face twisted into a sneer. "What's it to you?"
Annabeth's eyes flashed him a warning. "Percy, this is-"
The biker raised his hand and the child of wisdom immediately fell silent, her mouth snapping shut with an audible click.
"S'okay," he shrugged. "I don't mind a little attitude. S'long as you remember who's the boss. You know who I am, little cousin?"
"Only someone like you could make someone this pissed off just by sitting with them," Andi replied coolly, sucking in deep breaths. She already knew who this god is, joy, a family meet and greet.
"Give your bro a big hug, brat." Ares urged with a grin.
His scarred visage turned to Andi, and that unsettling grin curved further, showing far too many teeth. "Well, go on then, tell the water boy who's in front of him, little sister."
"Why don't you," the daughter of Zeus shot back, "You've already shown you love to make an entrance, big brother," she spat.
If anything, the biker's grin widened further.
"You're Clarisse's dad," Percy said at last. "Ares, god of war."
Ares grinned and took off his shades. Where his eyes should've been, there was only fire, empty sockets glowing with miniature nuclear explosions. "That's right, punk. I heard you broke Clarisse's spear."
"She was asking for it." Percy glared at the god.
"Probably. That's cool. I don't fight my kids' fights, you know? What I'm here for - I heard two you were in town. I got a little proposition for you."
"Don't do it! Prostitution and drug trafficking is illegal!"
"Screw you, Sunspot!"
The waitress came back with heaping trays of food - cheeseburgers, fries, onion rings, and chocolate shakes.
Ares handed her a few gold drachmas.
She looked nervously at the coins. "But, these aren't..."
Ares pulled out his huge knife and started cleaning his fingernails. "Problem, sweetheart?"
The waitress swallowed, then left with the gold.
"You can't do that," Percy told Ares. "You can't just threaten people with a knife."
Andi snorted, "At least do it with some class instead of acting like a low level thug." The girl said, resting her elbow on the table and started to eat her cheeseburger.
Ares laughed at the kids, clearly amused. "Are you kidding? I love this country. Best place since Sparta. Don't you carry a weapon, punk? You should. Dangerous world out there." He told the sea child, before turning to his demigod half-sister, "And why should I? Geez, got Arte's and owl brain's snooty attitude much?" He mocked as she just growled at him. "Aw, you sound like a baby tiger. I think I skinned one alive just last week."
Artemis seethed while Athena glared at her brother.
"You know, that's a common theme with Zeus' daughters..." Poseidon mused. "Always so snooty..."
"Poseidon." Rhea gave him a look. "One more like that..."
"Yes mother."
He mused in thought and shook his head before returning to the matter at hand. "Anyway, got a proposition for two little newbies like you. I need a favor."
"What favor could I do for a god?" Percy asked, his fading tolerance clear in his tone.
"Something a god doesn't have time to do himself."
Or is too lazy to do himself, Andi thought to herself.
"It's nothing much." Ares continued, "I left my shield at an abandoned water park here in town. I was going on a little ... date with my girlfriend."His sister blanched, not wanting to hear anything about that. "We were interrupted. I left my shield behind. I want you to fetch it for me."
"Why don't you go back and get it yourself?!" Percy shot back.
The fire in his eye sockets pulsed a little more violently, the bloody glow brightening as it did.
"Why don't I turn you into a prairie dog and run you over with my Harley? Because I don't feel like it. A god is giving you an opportunity to prove yourself, Percy Jackson. Will you prove yourself a coward?" He leaned forward, that unmistakable sneer back on his face. "Or maybe you only fight when there's a river to dive into, so your daddy can protect you. Chaos knows the midget's got more game then you do." He mocked while pointing his finger at Andi, who just glared at him for the comment as she sipped her shake.
"If she's got more game than me, does that mean she's got more game then you, since, you know, I beat you?" Percy asked.
"...Oh you little, I'll fffffff-mmmph!" Ares seethed behind the plate that appeared over his mouth and his sunglasses melted from the intensity of his glare.
"...I don't know if you're stupid, Percy, or if you have the biggest cohones I've ever seen on someone." Leo mumbled.
"He's stupid." Annabeth and Thalia answered, the latter earning a glare from her cousin.
Thalia shrugged it off.
Percy very obviously wanted to punch this guy, but it was also clear that the son of Poseidon didn't want to give the war god the satisfaction of him succumbing to his goading.
"We're not interested," Percy said. "We've already got a quest."
Andi didn't even answer, finding her food better company than her godly brother.
Ares would've called her something less than savory that would've infuriated his immortal sisters, aunts, grandmother and mother, were it not for the steel over his mouth.
"I know all about your quest, punk. When that item was first stolen, Zeus sent his best out looking for it: Apollo, Athena, Artemis, and me, naturally. If I couldn't sniff out a weapon that powerful..." He licked his lips, as if the very thought of the Master Bolt made him hungry.
"Or aroused." Hermes snickered.
"It wouldn't be the first time." Aphrodite tittered.
Ares gave her a betrayed glare.
Hephaestus smirked. "I knew he humped the minigun."
"Well...if I couldn't find it, you've got no hope. Nevertheless, I'm trying to give you the benefit of the doubt. Your dad and I go way back. After all, I'm the one who told him my suspicions about old Corpse Breath."
"You told him Hades stole the bolt?" Andi asked with clear skepticism in her tone, taking another sip of her milkshake.
"Sure. Framing somebody to start a war. Oldest trick in the book. I recognized it immediately. In a way, you got me to thank for your little quest."
"Thanks," Percy grumbled.
"Hey, I'm a generous guy. Just do my little job, and I'll help you on your way. I'll even arrange a ride west for you and your friends."
"Worst. Ride. Ever." Percy grumbled. It stank to high heavens in that truck.
Poseidon gave Ares a pointed glare for the mistreatment of the zebra.
"We're doing fine on our own." Percy gritted out, obviously not wanting his help whatsoever.
"Yeah, right. Little money. No wheels. No clue what you're up against. And sponging off the little witch here to do most of the lifting. Help me out, and maybe I'll tell you something you need to know. Something about your mom."
Percy's eyes flew to Ares'. "My mom?"
He grinned. "That got your attention."
"How do we know this is legit?" Andi scoffed, cleaning her mouth with a napkin, "And not just some petty trick to get what you want and then you say 'Yeah, she's dead'." She finished in a deep burly tone.
The god, unfazed, merely returned Andi's scorn with a throaty chuckle. "Hey, hey, I wouldn't lie about stuff like that, scout's honor." Both the god and Andi snorted at that last statement, "The water park is a mile west on Delancey. You can't miss it. Look for the Tunnel of Love ride."
"Bow-chika-bow-wow, bow-chi-hurk!" Apollo was cut off as the edge of Artemis' hand chopped him in the throat. He struggled for divine air while his twin glared at her rival, who was smirking at Apollo's joke.
"What interrupted your date?" Percy asked, his voice holding a taunting tone, "Something scare you off?"
Ares bared his teeth, so that's where Clarisse got that look. There was something false about it though, almost like he was nervous.
"You're lucky you met me, punk, and not one of the other Olympians. They're not as forgiving of rudeness as I am. I'll meet you back here when you're done. Don't disappoint me."
"Bull!" Apollo and Hermes glared at the war god, who glared right back.
They must have blinked or something, because one moment he was there and the next it was like he was never there, but Grover and Annabeth's expressions told them otherwise.
"Not good, not good, this is not good at all!" Grover shivered, his voice jumping as he did. "Ares sought you guys out. This is bad."
Percy stared out the window, Andi snuck a glance of her own. The motorcycle had disappeared.
"It's probably some kind of trick like Andi said," Percy decided with a shake of his head. "Forget Ares. Let's just go."
"We can't," Annabeth grudgingly interjected. "Look, I hate Ares as much as anybody, but you don't ignore the gods unless you want serious bad fortune. He wasn't kidding about turning you into a rodent."
"He still might do it if your dad doesn't stop glaring at him." Frank muttered. He hated having his Greek godly father's voice in his head. It was annoying.
The sea spawn looked at his burger with a grimace, probably not feeling all that hungry now. "Why does he need us?"
"Maybe it's a problem that requires brains," Annabeth shrugged. "Ares has strength. That's all he has. Even strength has to bow to wisdom sometimes."
Athena smirked and Ares glared double-ly hard at her.
"Bethy, he's a war god for a reason," Andi spoke in a cold tone, "Just because your mum is the strategy goddess, doesn't mean he just has muscle between his ears."
"Defending him, Andi?" Came the bland retort of the blonde.
"Hell no, I'm being cautious is all. Something spooked him, and we have to deal with it now."
"I spooked you did I?" Hephaestus smiled lightly. He put a hand to his ear. "What was that, Ares? ...Nothing to say?"
Ares flipped him the bird.
The sky child frowned in thought, mulling over what little info Ares had given the group. Whatever it was that scared Ares, it didn't bode well for them — the war god wasn't one to run away for no reason.
The other three glanced nervously at each other. Percy sighed and pushed his plate away.
"Joy."
"Everyone's reaction to dealing with Ares." Apollo chuckled.
Ares' eye twitched and he started to pull at the sheet of metal that was welded over his face.
The sun was sinking behind the Rocky Mountains by the time they found the water park. Judging from the sign, it had once been called WATERLAND, but now some of the letters were smashed out, so it read WAT R A D.
"...What the hell is the point of that? Seriously, it's been driving me nuts!" Thalia groaned.
"Right!?" Percy rubbed his eyes. "I know it's from something...but what!?"
Annabeth shook her head. It was just their ADHD acting up.
The main gate was rusted and rotting, but padlocked and topped with barbed wire. Inside, huge dry waterslides and tubes and pipes slithered everywhere, leading to empty pools. Old tickets and advertisements fluttered around the asphalt. With the impending approach of night, the place felt...odd, sad, almost...
"If Ares brings his girlfriend here for a date," Percy deadpanned, staring up at the barbed wire, he couldn't quite decide if that was rust or dried blood. "I'd hate to see what she looks like."
"I'll have to remember that." Artemis smirked.
"It's not funny!" Aphrodite huffed.
"Obviously, you don't have a sense of humor."
"I do so!"
"If you did, you'd know that was funny."
"Oh, go rot in your virgin pit, Artemis."
"Percy," Annabeth warned. "Be more respectful."
"Why? I thought you hated Ares." The boy asked, surprised by Annabeth's apparent defense of Ares.
"He's still a god. And his girlfriend is very temperamental." Annabeth said, taking a side-glance at Andi who seemed determined to pretend this whole conversation was not happening, as she chanted an Alohomora, getting the padlock to snap open and fall to the ground.
"You also really don't want to insult her looks," Grover added.
"Who is she? Echidna?" Percy joked.
"That's also a keeper." Artemis mused with a smirk.
"I will have Eros chase you, Artemis, I swear it." Aphrodite hissed.
"As if that would be 'archer' could hit me before I hit him." Artemis scoffed.
"No, Aphrodite," Grover replied, a little dreamily. "Goddess of love."
"I thought she was married to somebody," Percy said, eager to steer the topic away from his brutish cousin. "Hephaestus."
"What's your point?" Grover asked with a raised eyebrow, rubbing his rear.
"Ah, immortal marriages, aren't they grand?" Apollo chuckled and then winced as Hera glared at him.
"Oh."
The shadows grew long as they walked through the park, checking out the attractions. There was AnkleBiter Island, Head Over Wedgie, and Dude, Where's My Swimsuit?
No monsters came to get them. Nothing made the slightest noise.
"I am not liking this." Andi muttered, hand clenched tightly around her keychain, eyes swiveling around relentlessly; she felt eyes on her. They found a souvenir shop that had been left open. Merchandise still lined the shelves: snow globes, pencils, postcards, and racks of-
"Clothes," Annabeth sighed in relief. "Fresh clothes."
"Yeah," Percy agreed. "But you can't just-"
"Oh, I want a souvenir." Andi smiled, as she eyed the snow globes and postcards, snagging two of each.
"And you called me a kelpto, Inviso-beth." Piper smirked.
"...Shut up, McLean!"
"Watch me." Annabeth smirked at him.
The blonde snatched an entire row of clothes off the racks and disappeared into the changing room. A few minutes later she came out in Waterland flower-print shorts, a big red Waterland T-shirt, and commemorative Waterland surf shoes. A Waterland backpack was slung over her shoulder, obviously stuffed with more goodies.
"Looks good on you Bethy." Andi winked at her, getting a small smile back, "Well, when in Rome," she shrugged.
"What? What do you do when in Rome? I need to know!" Leo cried out dramatically.
"Shut up." Nico grunted as he smacked Leo upside the head.
The sky daughter changed into a similar outfit as Annabeth, but her shirt was yellow and she still wore her hoodie and hi-tops.
"What the heck." Grover shrugged. Soon, all of them were decked out like walking advertisements for the defunct theme park.
They continued searching for the Tunnel of Love. "So Ares and Aphrodite," Percy began, "they have a thing going?"
"That's old gossip, Percy," Annabeth told him. "Three-thousand-year-old gossip."
"Geez, Percy, get with the program already."
"Leo, shut up."
"And something I don't want to hear anymore about, seriously, shut up." Andi grumped, a pretty pout on her face. Not surprising, Percy wouldn't want to hear about the love lives of his siblings', divine or otherwise, either. Especially if one of them was like the meathead. That didn't stop him from asking more about it though, he was just too curious.
"What about Aphrodite's husband?"
Andi just groaned and marched ahead, grumbling about stupid seaweed brains, and not wanting to be anywhere near this conversation.
"Well, you know," Annabeth said quietly. "Hephaestus. The blacksmith. He was crippled when he was a baby, thrown off Mount Olympus by Zeus.
"Wrong." The children and siblings of Zeus, save for a muted Ares, all chorused.
Rhea sent Hera a look of disapproval, but kept it brief since she'd already given Hera a piece of her mind about that decision.
Hera merely had a scowl on her face.
So he isn't exactly handsome. Clever with his hands,
"That's what she said!"
"Hermes!"
and all and hard-working to boot, but Aphrodite isn't into brains and talent, you know?"
"She likes bikers."
"Whatever."
"Hephaestus knows?"
"Oh sure," Annabeth said. "He caught them together once. I mean, literally caught them, in a golden net, and invited all the gods to come and laugh at them. Hephaestus is always trying to embarrass them. That's why they meet in out-of-the-way places, like-"
She stopped, looking straight ahead. "Like that." She pointed, Andi was already there, rubbing her temples and muttering to herself.
"Well, gee, I wonder why he was so scared?" Hephaestus smirked at his 'wife' in name only while she glared back at him.
In front of them was an empty pool, one could say it was perfect for skateboarding. It was at least fifty yards across and shaped like a bowl.
Around the rim, a dozen bronze statues of Cupid stood guard with wings spread and bows ready to fire. On the opposite side from them, a tunnel opened up, probably where the water flowed into when the pool was full. The sign above it read, THRILL RIDE O' LOVE: THIS IS NOT YOUR PARENTS' TUNNEL OF LOVE!
"It really isn't." Annabeth grumbled.
Hephaestus chuckled lowly while Athena glared at him.
Grover crept toward the edge. "Guys, look."
Marooned at the bottom of the pool was a pink-and-white two-seater boat with a canopy over the top and little hearts painted all over it. In the left seat, glinting in the fading light, was Ares' shield, a polished circle of bronze.
"This is too easy," Percy grimaced. "So we just walk down there and get it?"
"I'd fly down there," Andi stated, "But no way am I going anywhere near where those two could have been doing nooky." She finished with a shudder.
They all shuddered along with her.
"And now that image is in my head. Thank you Andi." Piper glowered.
Annabeth walked over and ran her fingers along the base of the nearest Cupid statue.
"There's a Greek letter carved here," she mused. "Eta. I wonder..."
"Grover," Andi called, getting over her shivers, "d'you smell any monsters?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing like, in-the-Arch-and-you-didn't-smell-Echidna nothing, or nothing-as-in-really-nothing?" Percy asked.
Grover looked hurt. "I told you, that was underground."
"Okay, I'm sorry." Percy took a deep breath. "I'm going down there."
"I'll go with you." Grover didn't sound too enthusiastic, maybe he wanted to try and make up for what had happened in St. Louis. That's what Percy assumed.
"No," Percy told him firmly. "I want you to stay up top with the flying shoes. You and fly girl here are our Blue Angels, remember? I'll be counting on you guys for backup, in case something goes wrong."
Andi rolled her eyes with a small smirk on her face as Grover puffed up his chest a little. "Sure. But what could go wrong?"
"That's, like, the exact opposite of what he should say in this situation." Thalia snickered.
"Grover," Andi's head hung, "Don't ever say that!" she bemoaned, and Percy could empathise. Gover had just jinxed them.
Percy turned to daughter of Athena, "I don't know. Just a feeling. Annabeth, come with me-"
Andi burst into laughter as Annabeth glared at her, cheeks aflame, "Are you kidding?" She looked at him as if he was stupid.
"Oh, so this is where she realized she had a crush on him, right?"
"Piper!" Annabeth shrieked.
"Yes! Good job, sweetie!" Aphrodite cheered with a smile.
"What's the problem now?" Percy demanded, wanting to get this over with.
"Me, go with you to the...the 'Thrill Ride of Love'? How embarrassing is that? What if somebody saw me?"
"...Who would see you?" Jason asked.
"Anyone could've!" Annabeth protested.
"Like us. Or the gods." Piper explained.
"Exactly!"
"Including my mom."
"It's right here when I coined the phrase 'Percabeth'." Aphrodite explained matter-of-factly.
"I will!"
"Shut up Andi!" Annabeth shouted, hands on her hips as her stormy grey eyes glared heatedly at the black haired girl's mirthful electric blue orbs.
"Nemesis is calling Bethy, and she is calling hard." Andi grinned like the Cheshire cat.
"Like Percy will be."
"LEO VALDEZ!" Hera, Hestia and Rhea shouted at the demigod.
Percy's cheeks burned bright red while his friends and father let out belly laughs.
"But you-!"
"I said if you never spoke of it Wise Girl, I never said I wouldn't get you back." The child of Zeus' smirk widened, looking positively predatory.
"…You are the devil."
"I thank you for your kind words."
Percy's own face was burning now too. Leave it to a girl to make everything complicated. "Fine," he huffed. "I'll do it myself." But when he started down the side of the pool, Annabeth followed him, muttering about how boys always messed things up.
"You two look amazing together~!"
"I think we all agree on that." Piper nodded.
"Ugh, gods, kill me!" Annabeth groaned.
"No." The gods denied.
"I'll kill you for this, Andi!"
"Love you too, Bethy!"
The two reached the boat. The shield was propped on one seat, next to it was a hot pink lady's silk scarf. As Percy looked around, he wondered why they would want to meet out here when he figured it out - with all the mirrors that lined the pool, they could see every angle of themselves. Wow, talk about egotistical.
"That was done for Dite." Apollo smirked. "She wanted to be able to see Ares' ugly mug from all angles."
"As if! I wanted to see myself from all angles!" Aphrodite tittered.
"...Honestly, how is that any better?" Artemis asked.
There was a flash of a camera, both turned up to see Andi flying above them with a Waterland disposable camera, "Hi~!" Her tone was mock cheery as she waved.
"They won't find the body." Was the growling promise from the blonde girl.
"No. No they won't." Annabeth nodded.
"I'm sure with time-"
"Percy, a child of Athena orchestrated Jimmy Hoffa's disappearance."
"...Oh..."
All she got was a face splitting smile as Andi stuffed the camera into her bag for safekeeping.
Percy picked up the scarf. It shimmered like a pink river, and the perfume was indescribable-rose, or mountain laurel. Something good. The water boy smiled, a little dreamily, and was about to rub the scarf against his cheek when Annabeth ripped it out of his hand and stuffed it in her pocket. "Oh, no you don't. Stay away from that love magic."
"I think Annabeth is just afraid of some competition with a scarf!" The sky child giggled from the air, holding her sides from the pain of laughter.
"Shut up already!" Annabeth flushed further from Andi's commentary.
"What?" Percy asked her, blinking, love magic?
"Just get the shield, Seaweed Brain, and let's get out of here."
The moment he touched the shield, something snapped.
"No! One of my French nails!" Leo wailed dramatically.
"Wait," Annabeth cautioned, hearing it.
"Too late."
"There's another Greek letter on the side of the boat, another Eta. This is a trap."
"Wow, you guys goofed up." Thalia snorted.
She ignored the glare from her friends.
"…You two done goofed."
"I want to strangle her, I really do." Annabeth muttered, "Stupid Airhead."
"I feel you. I want to strangle her and her sister." Annabeth mumbled.
"Annie!"
"Maybe Jason, too."
Jason sputtered. "What did I do!?"
"It'd be to spite Piper." Annabeth mumbled.
Noise erupted all around them, of a million gears grinding, as if the whole pool were turning into one giant machine.
"Guys!" Grover yelled, pointing to the edge of the pool.
Up on the rim, the Cupid statues were drawing their bows into firing position. Before Percy could say anything, they let fly, but not at the two kids. They fired at each other, across the rim of the pool. Silky cables trailed from the arrows, arcing over the pool and anchoring where they landed to form a huge golden asterisk. Then smaller metallic threads started weaving together magically between the main strands, making a net.
"We have to get out here."
"No duh, seaweed brain!" Annabeth said to him.
Percy grabbed ahold of the shield and they ran, but going up the slope of the pool was not as easy as going down.
"Yeah, that whole gravity thing really seems to bring you down." Nico smirked.
"...Okay, that was pretty good." Percy muttered.
"Come on!" Grover shouted.
He was trying to hold open a section of the net for them, but wherever he touched it, the golden threads started to wrap around his hands.
"Whoa, bondage, much?" Hermes asked.
"She's never complained before when she's been tied up," Apollo said under his breath. Eyes turned to him and he blinked. "What?"
"You're disgusting." Artemis drawled.
"And?"
"...Never mind. My words would be wasted."
The Cupids' heads popped open. Out came video cameras. Spotlights rose up all around the pool, blinding them with light, and a loudspeaker voice boomed: "Live to Olympus in one minute...Fifty-nine seconds, fifty-eight..."
"Hephaestus!" Annabeth screamed. "I'm so stupid. 'Eta is H.' He made this trap to catch his wife with Ares. Now we're going to be broadcast live to Olympus and look like absolute fools!"
"Classic." Hermes chuckled.
It was then that one of the dozen cameras met an arrow, utterly shattering it.
Andi flew above the center of the statues, bow out and wind swirling around her arms; as she pulled the string of her bow back the wind seemed to coalesce into a solid, cloudy white arrow that sat as if perfectly nocked and ready to fire.
"She'd better not..." Hephaestus frowned.
Suddenly, the mirrors opened up and from these new openings came out thousands of tiny metal-
"Spiders!" Annabeth screamed. "Sp-sp-aaaah!" She fell back in terror, overwhelmed. Grunting, Percy dragged her back up and back to the boat.
"That is all Athena's fault." Aphrodite huffed.
"How is that my fault!?" Athena hissed.
"Arachne."
Athena glared at her, then at Poseidon, who had the audacity to snicker.
Andi had taken out cameras two and three, doing little flips in the air during her shots for fun; enjoying herself as she hummed some theme song. She slowed down the rate she was destroying them though, taking longer and longer between shots.
The tiny spiders came in the millions, no doubt to help humiliate Ares and Aphrodite, seems they were going to get that hospitality instead.
Annabeth and Percy climbed back into the boat. He started kicking away the spiders as they swarmed aboard. The son of the sea yelled at Annabeth to help him, but she was too paralyzed to do much more than scream.
"Well, at least Percy knows what she sounds like when she finishes."
"APOLLO!"
Camera four was out of the picture.
"Thirty, twenty-nine," called the loudspeaker.
The fifth camera joined the count too, a arrow hitting it right in the lens.
"Little brat." Hephaestus frowned.
The spiders started spitting out strands of metal thread, trying to tie the captured kids down. The strands were easy enough to break at first, but there were so many of them, and the spiders just kept coming. Percy kicked one away from Annabeth's leg and its pincers took a chunk out of his new surf shoe.
Grover hovered above the pool in his flying sneakers, trying to pull the net loose, but it wouldn't budge.
"Satyr fail." Leo snickered.
Camera six was out. Andi paused in her shooting then, and then begun lining up her next shot deliberately slowly.
"Drumroll!" Apollo called out. A drum materialized in his lap and he began to perform the action.
Think, Percy told himself. Think.
The Tunnel of Love entrance was under the net. They could use it as an exit, except that it was blocked by a million robot spiders.
"Fifteen, fourteen," the loudspeaker called.
Camera seven was blasted by a half dozen arrows that served to turn it into an, admittedly poor, imitation of a piece of swiss cheese, Andi was getting real creative with her Cupid killings.
"...What a waste of arrows..." Artemis mumbled.
"Aww, all that build up and no pay off." Apollo frowned as he made the drum vanish.
Water, Percy thought. Where does the ride's water come from?
Then he saw them: huge water pipes behind the mirrors, where the spiders had come from. And up above the net, next to one of the destroyed Cupids, a glass-windowed booth that must be the controller's station.
"Grover!" he yelled. "Get into that booth! Find the 'on' switch!"
"But-"
"Do it!" It was their only chance. The spiders were all over the prow of the boat now. Annabeth was screaming her head off. He had to get them out of there.
Grover was in the controller's booth now, slamming away at the buttons.
"Five, four-"
Grover looked up at Percy hopelessly, raising his hands. He pushed every button, nothing was happening.
Percy closed his eyes and focused on that all too familiar tug in his stomach from his training with Andi.
"Two, one,"
BOOM! With a loud explosion, the ground shook.
"Hades, control yourself."
Hades rolled his eyes at his mother's joke.
…Camera eight exploded as a arrow coated in spiraling winds stuck it. Andi cheered at this, she'd finally figured out how to make an arrow out of the wind that was both an arrow and wind at the same time. And like she'd imagined, they were so much more destructive than the plain ol' normal arrows she'd been creating from the wind.
"Zero!" Andi spotted a satisfied grin as this.
Andi was definitely pleased with her work, not only had she been to practice interesting trick shots on the first few cameras but now she'd be able to use all that practice to good use and demonstrate all her skills with the bow for her Olympian audience.
She really hoped she put on a good show.
"...How will we see it if all the cameras are destroyed?" Apollo asked.
Water exploded out of the pipes. It roared into the pool, sweeping away the spiders. Percy pulled Annabeth into the seat next to him and fastened her seat belt just as the tidal wave slammed into the boat, over the top, whisking the spiders away and dousing them completely, but not capsizing the kids. The boat turned, lifted in the flood, and spun in circles around the whirlpool.
The water was full of short-circuiting spiders, some of them smashing against the pool's concrete wall with such force they burst.
Above them Andi was suddenly all gung ho about destroying the cameras again. She was doing all kinds of elaborate aerial moves in between her shots and deliberately making the shots tricky by firing when she was in the most awkward positions. Basically she was showing off. Percy would have growled at her, but right now he was too concerned with more immediate problems to even notice.
"She is acting far too much like Zeus at the moment." Hera mused. "Shouldn't he be back out here?"
"He's got one more chapter," Rhea said firmly.
Percy willed the boat to ride the currents, trying to stay away from the walls. Maybe it was his imagination, but the boat seemed to be listening. With one more spin, the water level was now almost high enough to shred them against the metal net. Responding to his will, the boat's nose turned toward the tunnel and they rocketed through into the darkness.
As they entered the tunnel, Percy distantly noticed one of the cameras, presumably the last one, explode and Andi exclaim, "And that's how it's done." If he had looked back, he would have noticed the girl give a courtly bow to the wreckage almost as if the whole thing was nothing more than some kind of performance.
"...We almost died and she was putting on a show..." Percy and Annabeth drawled.
It was official.
They didn't like this Andi.
Annabeth and Percy held tight, both screaming as the boat shot around curls and hugged corners and took forty-five-degree plunges past pictures of Romeo and Juliet and a bunch of other Valentine's Day stuff.
Apollo snapped a photo with a polaroid camera and shook out the developing picture. He held it up and smiled.
"Ah, memories," he said with a smile.
Then they got out of the tunnel, the night air whistling through their hair as the boat barreled straight toward the exit.
If the ride had been in working order, they would've sailed off a ramp between the golden Gates of Love and splashed down safely in the exit pool. But there was a problem. The Gates of Love were chained. Two boats that had been washed out of the tunnel before them were now piled against the barricade - one submerged, the other cracked in half.
"Unfasten your seat belt," Percy yelled to Annabeth.
"Are you crazy?"
"Unless you want to get smashed to death." he strapped Ares's shield to his arm. "We're going to have to jump for it." His idea was simple and insane. As the boat struck, they would use its force like a springboard to jump the gate. With luck, they would land in the pool.
Annabeth seemed to understand. She gripped his hand as the gates got closer.
"Nothing like a near death experience or seven to bring two people closer together." Leo sighed and interlaced his hands under his chin. "Isn't it romantic?"
"So very romantic!" Aphrodite nodded vigorously.
"...Mom, he was kid-Oof!" Piper rubbed her side where Leo elbowed her.
"Shush, before she decides to screw with my love life."
"On my mark," Percy announced.
"No! On my mark!"
"What?"
"Simple physics!" She yelled. "Force times the trajectory angle-"
"Fine." He shouted. "On your mark!"
"You should really learn the math." Annabeth chided.
"It wasn't exactly the best time to have a lesson." Percy drawled.
She hesitated...hesitated...then yelled, "Now!"
Crack!
Annabeth was right. If they'd jumped when he thought, they would have been kissing the gate. She got them maximum lift.
Unfortunately, that was a little more than they needed. The boat smashed into the pileup and they were thrown into the air, straight over the gates, over the pool, and down toward solid asphalt.
The wind rushed around them as Percy felt his free arm get caught by something and looked up to see his cousin. He noted that in the spotlights, she seemed like a luminous fairy; flying in the night sky, electric blue eyes shining, white streaked smile ever present on her face.
Grover managed to grab Annabeth by hooking his arms under hers, but she had a lot of momentum from the jump, making him struggle until Andi used her air powers to stabilize him.
"Least you ain't screaming like a girl this time," Andi smirked down at Percy.
"...Didn't she like, almost kill me?" Percy asked.
"Oh shut up."
Percy couldn't fight the smile off his face.
"Apparently you've forgiven her." Annabeth muttered.
"...I'm an idiot."
"You said it not us." Nico noted.
"Don't wanna~" Andi winked at him, "I live to save damsels after all."
The son of the sea didn't care, he just laughed. He had the best cousin ever. If Percy had bothered to take a look at Annabeth and the angry looks she was sending Andi, he would've realized how alone he was in his positive opinion about his cousin.
They landed safely on the ground as Percy looked back at the Thrill Ride of Love. The water was subsiding. The boat had been smashed to pieces against the gates.
Even with the cameras destroyed, the spotlights still shined, as if waiting for something.
"Show's over!" Percy yelled with a grin. "Thank you! Good night!"
"You've been a lovely audience!" Andi added with a giggle.
"Boo! I want a refund! I demand a refund!"
"Shut up, Leo." Hazel chided the snickering tinkerer.
The lights shut off. The park went quiet and dark again, except for the gentle trickle of water into the Thrill Ride of Love's exit pool.
"I bet our ratings would have been fantastic." Andi assured the group.
It was at this point that Annabeth couldn't hold back anymore. Turning suddenly to face Andi, the daughter of Athena leveled a scathing look at the shorter girl and hissed, "Andi, what in the name of Olympus did you think you were doing back there?!"
"Annabeth, what-?" Percy began, only to be cut off by the blonde.
"Answer me Andromeda!" Annabeth shouted.
"...Oh snap, Annabeth's gone postal." Thalia blinked.
"Meh, seen worse," Apollo said.
"I don't know what you're talking about." Andi tried to deflect even as she looked around nervously. "I was helping you and Percy."
Percy made to say something again, but Grover just put a hand on his shoulder and shook his head to signal to the child of the seas to stay out of this.
"By showing off?" The furious child of wisdom accused.
"I can't show off some of my skills while I help my friends-" Andi tried to defend herself, but Annabeth would have none of it.
"Help your friends? With what? You spent the whole time destroying those cameras-"
"And that saved Percy and you from humiliating yourselves in front of the gods, didn't it?" Andi shot back, obviously getting angry that Annabeth was questioning her.
"Really? Because you clearly weren't doing so well. Slowing down your shots so there would be enough cameras to broadcast you destroying the last few of them live to Olympus? Deliberately doing aerial stunts and using trick shots when destroying those last few cameras? You were showing off, admit it!"
"So what!?" Andi hissed in return. "I can't even make myself look good in front of my dad?"
"Even at the expense of your friends?" Grover asked with a hint of disapproval. "You spent all your time showing off that you didn't do anything to help Annabeth or Percy at all."
"Ouch, even Grover got in on that." Thalia winced.
"And that, my friends, is when you know it be real." Percy nodded.
"What is real?" Leo asked.
"The mess up you just did."
"...Do you even hear yourself talk?"
"I drift in and out."
Andi just looked away. Annabeth and Grover just sent her unhappy looks.
"Guys, enough!" Percy said firmly into this tense standoff. "So Andi didn't help us with the spiders because she was too busy showing off, but she did save us from turning into pancakes, right? So I say we're all even."
"She only did that because the cameras had stopped-" Annabeth tried to rebut, but Percy wouldn't let her continue the argument.
"Annabeth, enough!" Percy said with finality, a firm look on his face. "Unless you forgot people, and goat, we're on a quest to stop World War Three, god edition! We don't have time for this. So enough is enough. Okay?"
"...You know it's time to stop when Percy becomes the voice of reason."
"Ow, Wise Girl. Ow." Percy sent a pout to his snickering girlfriend while the rest of the demigods laughed.
The other three questers gave reluctant nods.
"So if that's settled." Percy hefted the shield on his arm and turned to the group. "We need to have a little talk with Ares."
"Great," was Andi's sarcastic retort, clearly not really eager for another meeting with the god of brutality.
"Nor am I excited to hear his voice, but his punishment has ended, as has Zeus'." Rhea commented. She looked to the door and nodded. "Zeus, you can rejoin us."
A boom of thunder and a flash of lightning filled the room before the king returned.
He did not look pleased.
"...So, who wants to read next?" Piper asked nervously, the tension in the air getting to her.