Chapter 6: Looking Up

There were few windows in the cargo ship we'd taken for our mission. Scientists and soldiers alike were typing away at various handheld devices. It was becoming clear to me that I had absolutely zero purpose on this mission with Lightning. I couldn't offer anything other than my magic, which the soldiers were currently more proficient at with AMP technology.

I wormed my way past a crate to one of the miniscule windows. For the first time in years I saw the valley of the Steppe situated amongst a vast plateau. All of the colonies had been built on the far side of Oerba. Originally there had been claims that Titan had been harassing settlers, but he had been the one fal'Cie I'd never had a problem with.

The unspoken truth was no one wanted to live in close proximity to the crystal pillar. It was a difficult enough reminder seeing Cocoon as a distant satellite. Living beneath the tower where our friends and families perished was too much.

Yet, seeing the Steppe filled me with an unexpected feeling of homesickness. These wildlands were where I'd grown to understand myself more intimately than I ever had before. Though, I no longer had Alexander as a visible testament of my self-discovery.

"It looks smaller than I remember," Lightning said, leaning over my shoulder to peer out the window.

"Of course, it was a disaster on foot. Even on chocobo." I began to laugh. "Do you remember the time you made me ride alone with you across the entire thing, because you were positive something important was on top of one of the buttes?"

"But all we found was a lost sheep." She hummed and rested her head atop mine.

That day, the rest of our party had gone to investigate Cie'th stones. Not even the disappointment of the sheep had dissuaded Lightning from investigating every butte and mesa. After hours of this, we'd chosen to rest on the smallest of the table hills. It had been completely unoccupied. I'd dismounted and sat down. It'd seemed as good a place as any to watch the rest of our party. Barthandelus had left us a ship, but we'd known we weren't ready to face the future. So instead we'd run hopelessly around Pulse, avoiding our fates.

Lightning had sat beside me rested her back against my lounging chocobo. We'd talked until daylight had begun to fade. I'd learned about her childhood with her sister. I'd told her about the friends that I'd left behind. After we'd sorted our differences in the Whitewood, I'd realized that she was easy to get along with. Despite our age difference, I'd begun to count her as a closer friend than my classmates had ever been.

Eventually, she'd crossed her arms and looked at me. Her face had been unexpectedly serious.

"I'm sorry."

I hadn't been sure what she was referring to. Placing my head on her shoulder, I'd said, "About the sheep? Vanille will be happy with the tuft we scavenged for her."

"She does enjoy wool, though I've never seen her do anything other than pack it away. But that's not what I meant. I'm sorry that you somehow got involved in all of this. But I'll stay true to my word, I'll protect you. Snow seems positive that we can make it out of everything. That we'll get Serah back." She'd had a faint smile as she'd leant her head against mine. "And I'm beginning to believe that idiot. He's proven to be able to strong arm his way out of any situation. So no matter what happens, even if everything goes to shit, we'll make sure you survive." She'd turned slightly to look at me. "You'll reach adulthood. You'll get married. You'll have children. You'll live a long fulfilling life." She'd held my cheek in her palm, determined to have my full attention. "Promise me you'll do those things for me."

I'd taken her hand and pulled it down to my lap. "Why are you acting like you're not going to be there? I expect all of you guys at my wedding. As for my children, whenever I have those, you better be in their lives. They need someone strong to look up to. My father is an accountant and my mother was a homemaker. Not exactly the most exciting people on the planet."

"Hope, you are," she'd said sighing slightly, "The first friend I've had in years. And you don't give me any choice in the matter, do you? Following me around. So I just want to hedge my bets on this one. Lie if you have to; just promise me you'll be ok when this is over."

"Before you try to marry me off, shouldn't we focus on your love life first?" Then I'd snorted. "What about that Cavalry guy with the hideous ponytail. He looked interested."

She'd made a disgusted face. "Rygdea? Pass."

"It's not like we have a lot of options as l'Cie right now." I'd looked at our party fighting in the distance. "What about Sazh. He's a family in kit form. Instant son."

"The man is twice my age. Absolutely not."

"Light, you've spent this entire time telling me how we shouldn't let others dictate our actions. You shouldn't let something like age stop you from knowing when someone is perfect for you."

"Easy for you to say," she'd slouched back into the bird.

Ah, how quick I'd been to spout advice about things I'd had no experience with. Knowing was never the problem was it? A person could 'know' how they felt, but that in no way reflected execution. While there were some things 'you just do', there were inevitably some things you mustn't.

Soon the window became obscured by the all-encompassing blue of Cocoon and her pillar. The room we were in darkened as the craft wove between crystal outcroppings.

"Guess we're here," Lightning said as she left my side.

We docked somewhere inside a series of cavernous passages. Their entrances had been hidden by the enormous shards of crystal. Apparently, these veining paths would lead us directly to Fang and Vanille. I disembarked as soldiers began rolling crates of equipment out the bay doors.

We approached the center of the cavern. Fang and Vanille were encircling each other, balanced on a small pillar. The symbolism wasn't lost on me. They were a miniature Cocoon, suspended above the ground. Odd, as they were Pulsians. If anything, it should have been us crystalized there while they roamed the land beneath.

I couldn't help but run past the extraction team. I needed to see the women. I touched the pillar they were on, since I couldn't reach their bodies.

"Gods, kid. I could've cut your arm off," a soldier brandishing a chainsaw yelled at me.

"Could you give us a minute? They may just be a piece of history to you, but they're our friends. If something goes awry, this could be the last time we see them," Lightning said, putting herself between me and the angry soldier.

"I have a bad feeling about this." The crystal felt frozen against my skin. "Not a world ending fear, just a 'things might go unexpectedly' kind of fear."

"You saved the world, and you're worried about something insignificant as 'things not going as planned'?" Lightning said, crossing her arms.

"Let's just say…" I dropped my head onto her forearms. "The unexpected has been leaving me frustrated enough recently to be nervous. I can't even tell which direction is up. I don't think I can take anymore." I stood back, remembering that my clinginess reflected poorly on her.

She pointed her finger at her face. "As long as you can see this, you'll be looking up."

"And what happens when I outgrow you?"

"Outgrow?"

That hadn't been the word I'd meant to use. Outgrow implied she was a passing fancy of my childhood. Like a toy, once I reached adulthood I would no longer have need of it. I would always need Lightning. Truthfully, she had probably already outgrown me.

"That's not what I meant. When I grow taller, where shall I look then?"

"We'll see eye to eye."

I laughed at her entirely corny speech. Had I looked so pathetic that she was humoring me to her own detriment?

I could hear that same soldier with the chainsaw snorting and mumbling something. Whatever he had to say, I'm sure it had been even more inappropriate than anything Rygdea had ever uttered. When I turned and glared, I saw him flinch. I guessed trying to kill Snow had its benefits.

"Do you mind? Me and the guys really do have to take this bad boy down," the soldier said, waving at a crew holding a variety of ropes.

Lightning and I stepped out of the way. We watched from a distance as men and woman threw ropes around the crystal. Some were pulled taut, while others were knotted and tacked to the ground. Once Vanille and Fang were netted into place, chainsaw-man went and began hacking away at the pillar. Sparks and shards flew everywhere as he chopped our friends down.

I felt my hands reach out as the miniature pillar snapped and the women toppled to the ground. Vanille and Fang broke apart, and the crash had sounded less like shattering glass and more like a scream. Lightning's arms wrapped around me.

"They'll be ok," she whispered into my ear.

"Not if one of them lost a limb."

A team of people ran up to the women trying to figure out what went wrong with the supports. Someone with heavy glasses gave a thumbs-up to everyone else. Our friends were still intact.

"At least they'll be easier to carry out of here," some soldier said, making light of the situation.

After the ropes had been removed, the two crystals were placed on dollies and wheeled out of the cavern. I made sure to butt in and helped push Vanille. When I accidently ran her into a stalagmite, a soldier ripped her from my hands. He navigated her with ease. That one guy had had a point, moving them one at a time was hard enough as is. We probably wouldn't have been able to squeeze the both of them through some of the areas.

"I don't see why they insisted on separating them," I said, looking at the two crystals.

Once we had them aboard the vessel, they had remained on their separate dollies. I'd assumed that they would have been tied down together or something. Instead, they'd just been rolled aboard and shoved into separate corners.

Somehow, Vanille looked lonely. Not that she had any means of changing expression, but the longing was there none the less. Regardless of what her and Fang's relationship was, they'd had a physical connection that lasted three years. It reminded me of how much I missed Lightning's touch, and it wasn't like we'd been in constant contact. I reached next to me and brushed my fingertips to hers. She squeezed my fingers and released them. All the while, she kept talking to one of the soldiers. I bit my lip, wondering how much I could get away with before she would turn and talk to me. I fully understood that this was work for her, but it's not like I had any relationship with these people.

I wound my fingers between hers. Still she didn't look at me, answering questions about the little she knew from her milliseconds as a crystal. I stroked my thumb along her inner wrist, making sure to scratch her lightly with my nail. Finally she let out a small gasp mid-sentence. I had her attention. She excused herself from the poor sap and turned to me.

"Is there something you need?" She pinched my fingers between hers; it was surprisingly painful.

"Do you think that crystals can look upset? The only one I've seen before was Serah, and she looked vacant." I pointed at Vanille.

Lightning's brows furrowed. She was seriously considering my question. Before she could answer me, Sazh's voice came over the speaker.

"We're hitting some turbulence."

The small craft immediately began to shake. I latched onto Lightning's waist, not wanting to embarrass myself by falling over. She was steady as a rock, but to onlookers I might appear as a gentleman for supporting her. Then a large thunk jarred the craft and everyone collapsed anyway.

"And apparently an angry zirnitra. Don't worry, the pilot thinks we can out maneuver him."

The zirnitra was relentless and the craft kept shuddering. It ended up hitting the door to the cargo bay and opened it partway. Vanille and Fang had fallen over just like everyone else on board. With each jostle, Vanille scooted closer to the open door. I saw several crew members trying to slowly inch their way towards her. Wanting to help, I forgot that I was still clinging on to Lightning. She had her free arm looped around a random pipe. The closer Vanille got to the door, the more I knew I had to do something. As much as I wanted to stay connected to Lightning, I couldn't let Vanille fall. We would have no way of saving her if she shattered into a million pieces.

"Forgive me," I whispered to Lightning, burying my nose in her hair.

Then I let go of her completely. I ran disjointedly on the shifting floor. As soon as I reached the crystal, it slipped beneath the door.

"Don't!" Lightning shouted.

Author's Note: Thus ends Part I. We'll meet again soon in Part II :)