Chapter Four: Bonetrousle

The first thing I did when I entered town was save. I visited the shop and found the proprietor to be a very nice rabbit lady that was happy to tell me all sorts of things. I learned of an inn where I could rest, a bit about how the town was founded, and what life was like for monsters. I learned overcrowding was becoming a problem, but people maintained the hope that they would one day be free. They grit their teeth and faced their struggles with jokes. She mentioned Papyrus and Sans as being a sort of local entertainment. She also advised against investigating the Ruins. If only she knew…

I did a little shopping. I bought a bandanna that looked like would help me, but I didn't put it on right away. I went to the inn and rented a room, first. I was filthy, but I was also exhausted. So exhausted the snoring from the other room didn't bother me at all. Once I'd woken up and gone back down the stairs the innkeeper surprised me by saying I'd been up there for less than an hour. She didn't feel right for charging me full price for a stay that short, so she gave me most of my money back.

I pulled the Faded Ribbon from my hair and tied the Manly Bandanna around my arm. It made me feel tougher as I explored more of the town. There was a decorated tree with wrapped presents underneath, and I was surprised to learn that monsters celebrated a gift-giving holiday just like Christmas. Some of the presents were even labeled as being from "Santa."

There was a pub. Signs above the door called it "Grillby's". When I went inside I found all of the dogs I'd faced on the way into town, all of whom were more than happy to leave me alone. I talked to the other patrons, one who said that the dogs were all members of the Royal Guard. Another one shared some interesting information about how human food spoiled and went through the body while monster food didn't (which made me realize I hadn't… answered any calls of nature since falling down.) I also sketched the monster behind the bar who was made of fire and turned out to be Grillby, himself.

I went to a library with a misspelled sign. Some of the books inside held some very interesting information on monster culture and history. Mother probably would have taught me these things, already, if we hadn't… Anyway, I learned how monsters conduct funerals, how monster and human bodies differed, and how a monster's SOUL (a word that was always in capital letters, for some reason) was attuned to their body (and how that affected their defenses in a fight). There was also a book on more monster history about their move from the Ruins to their new capital.

The last book I read spoke of what was theorized to make up a monster's SOUL. Love, hope, and compassion were mentioned, but the exact nature was unknown. It stated that, since human SOULs didn't need these things, the true makeup of SOULs was debatable. I was insulted, for a moment, by the insinuation that I didn't need love, hope or compassion in my soul, but only for a moment. I knew all too well some humans who did lack these things.

I left the library. Behind it and Grillby's pub were some more houses, and a strange little building making great, big ice cubes being conveyed on a belt. Once they reached the end a great, big wolf standing on their hind legs would throw them into the river to float down to… wherever they were going. I tried to ask this ice wolf some questions, but I was ignored.

All that was left to see was a house and a shed on the outskirts of town with two mailboxes. One overflowing with unread mail and the other with Papyrus' name on it and nothing inside. The house was gaily decorated for the holiday, much like the rest of town. It and the shed were locked, so I moved on. There was only one other exit from town, and as I advanced down the path a heavy fog blanketed everything. I could swear it was getting warmer. I stopped when I heard a familiar voice and saw a familiar skeleton.

Water droplets from the fog clung to my scarf as I waited for the human to arrive. I struggled to sort out my feelings, because this could go on no longer. I knew my duty. I knew I would have to turn them in to Undyne so they could be taken to the capital. But the fact that no one would tell me what would be done with the human once they got there concerned me. I knew my emotions could make me fly off the handle, sometimes. And I knew my reputation as being something of a bonehead caused others to underestimate me. But that didn't mean I couldn't figure things out for myself!

I knew the story as well as anyone else. How the barrier could be broken with the power, or equivalent power, of seven human SOULs. But nobody ever said how that would be done. I could never find out how many humans may or may not have come before this one. Would this new human live at the castle until all the other humans had been gathered? Would they be imprisoned? Would they… be killed? When I asked Undyne she skirted the subject completely. Both she and my brother had a habit of trying to hide things from me. To "protect" me, because I was "naïve."

I swear, you blurt out one question about why Unisicles are used in bawdy jokes and you're branded for life!

I heard footsteps in the snow and brought myself back into the present. The human stopped before me, and I spoke to them of my feelings. Finding another pasta lover, admiring their puzzle-solving skill, having a cool, smart person think you're cool… I may have projected my feelings onto them, but they didn't seem to mind. There were advantages to being a "bonehead" after all. Being able to outwardly deny my inner struggles, and be believed, was one of them.

I almost told them I would be their friend, in the "humble" manner I had taken to living my life. However, the spectre of duty reared its ugly head again. If I let them go, I would never be trusted with anything, ever again! I would never make it into the Royal Guard! How could I throw aside my lifelong dream just for the sake of some human I'd only known for a handful of hours?!

I looked into their squinty eyes and said, "NO. NO, THIS IS ALL WRONG! WE CAN'T BE FRIENDS! I MUST CAPTURE YOU! THEN I CAN FULFILL MY DREAM! POWERFUL, POPULAR AND PRETIGIOUS! THAT IS PAPYRUS, NEWEST MEMBER OF THE ROYAL GUARD!" The ends of the human's bandanna around their arm blew in the breeze as our FIGHT started. I didn't want to hurt them, but I didn't want to disappoint Undyne, either. I didn't want to waste all the training I'd ever received.

The human seemed to be at a loss as they looked over their options for their first turn. Their cheeks turned pink for some reason, and they hesitated before finally choosing something. I wasn't really prepared for what came next.

"Oh, Great Papyrus, you look so dashing right now! Just like a hero from a storybook!" They swooned, or at least pretended to. "Won't you save me from my terrible fate?"

"ARE YOU… FLIRTING WITH ME!? SO, YOU FINALLY REVEAL YOUR TRUE FEELINGS!" As flattered as I was, I really didn't feel the same way. "W-WELL, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I'M A SKELETON WITH VERY HIGH STANDARDS!"

With a completely straight face they said, "I can make spaghetti."

"OH NO! YOU'RE MEETING ALL MY STANDARDS!" Although I was impressed, I still didn't feel anything special for the human. "I GUESS THIS MEANS I HAVE TO… GO ON A DATE WITH YOU…?" I shook my head. "W-WE CAN GO ON THE DATE LATER! AFTER I'VE CAPTURED YOU!"

I launched my first attack, and the human easily dodged it. I was mildly confused. What were they trying to do?

"SO YOU WON'T FIGHT… WELL, THEN! LET'S SEE HOW YOU HANDLE MY FABLED BLUE ATTACK!" I launched blue bones at the human, and they stayed stock still. They were smiling faintly, as though they were thinking how easy this fight would be. I was about to prove them oh so wrong…

I used magic from the depths of my SOUL to turn theirs blue. They fell to one knee, unable to withstand the new weight pulling on their SOUL. A follow-up bone attack that was normally avoidable hit them easily. When they looked back up at me, I could only grin.

"YOU'RE BLUE NOW. THAT'S MY ATTACK! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!"

The human's face became more serious as the gravity of the situation (pun not intended) took hold in their mind. They still chose mercy, however, and valiantly struggled to dodge my attacks despite not being able to jump very high or move very quickly. Attack after attack, still they dodged. They were being hit, occasionally, but I had to admit I was impressed with how long they were lasting. As the FIGHT went on, I proclaimed all the fantasies I'd had. How I'd be popular. How I'd one day be head of the Royal Guard. How Undyne would be proud of me and how the king would trim a hedge shaped like my smile. And how my brother wouldn't change very much, if at all. But…

"BUT… WILL ANYONE LIKE ME AS SINCERELY AS YOU DO?" I hadn't meant to speak aloud, but once I started I couldn't stop. " SOMEONE LIKE YOU IS REALLY RARE... AND DATING WOULD BE HARD IF YOU'RE CAPTURED AND SENT AWAY. I DOUBT THEY WOULD LET YOU GO…" I shook my head, trying to rid myself of those thoughts. "URGH! FORGET IT! WHO CARES! JUST GIVE UP ALREADY!" I'd hit them several more times, and their HP was low, but they were still on their feet. I couldn't name the expression on their face, but it didn't bode well for me.

I was running low on magic. I couldn't keep their SOUL blue forever. That kind of thing took a lot out of you, after a while. I started to sweat and my body rattled in spite of my efforts to stay cool. I kept threatening to use my Special Attack, but still they refused to quit.

"VERY WELL! LET'S SEE JUST HOW WELL YOU CAN HANDLE MY SPECIAL ATTACK!" When I activated it nothing happened. I looked behind me, only to find a dog chewing on it! I tried to catch it, but it ran away before I could get my attack back. Both the human and I were dumbfounded, for a moment.

I sighed heavily. "OH WELL. I SUPPOSE I'LL JUST HAVE TO USE A REALLY COOL NORMAL ATTACK."

I did so, launching bone after bone. The human dodged beautifully, even when the really big bones came for them. They quickly figured out they could extend one side of their field to give them just enough room to dodge. With only about one hit left in them, they managed to dodge nearly everything I threw at them, until the very last bone.

They jumped over it just fine, but when they landed their foot came sliding out from under them. They almost comically fell onto their back, hitting the last bone and laying with their limbs spread about them. I was a little bit shocked.

"I… I DID IT?" The human didn't move an inch. "…YES! I HAVE BESTED YOU, HUMAN! SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DEFY THE GREAT PAPYRUS!?" They still didn't move. " …HUMAN? CAN YOU EVEN HEAR ME!?" Still nothing. "… ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"

Absolute. Deafening. Silence.

*Did I just… kill them? "Oh god… Ohgodohgodohgod OH MY GOD!" *This can't be happening! I ran over to them, desperate to help them somehow. "HUMAN! I'M SORRY! I'M SO, SO SORRY!" I knelt in the snow by their side, but then I realized I didn't know the first thing about how humans worked. What was I supposed to do?

"heya, bro. what's going on here?"

My SOUL nearly leapt out of my ribcage. Normally, I hated it when Sans appeared from nowhere, but this time I was beyond grateful. "BROTHER! I-I… I THINK I JUST KILLED THE HUMAN!" I could feel tears pooling in my eyesockets. "I SWEAR I DIDN'T MEAN TO, BROTHER… I SWEAR!"

As always, he spoke calmly. "i know, paps, i know. here, lemme see." He knelt at the human's head, looking at them with a serious expression I hardly ever saw on his face. He used one hand to keep their head steady while the other checked for neck injuries. As he examined the human he asked me to describe what had happened, so I told him of our epic battle. Sans carefully checked everything while he listened, even rolling the human to one side to feel their spine. I finished my tale around the same time he finished his examination.

"welp, all i found was a nasty lump on the back of their head, and they only have 1 HP left. that and your last blow must've rattled their skull and knocked 'em out cold. but they're still alive, buddy, so don't worry about that." He did his annoying wink, but I sighed in relief, anyway. "so, what're you gonna do with 'em, now?"

"THEY'LL HAVE TO BE CONFINED, OBVIOUSLY! AND I NEED TO TELL UNDYNE THE HUMAN'S BEEN CAUGHT… WE'LL HAVE TO PUT THEM IN THE CAPTURE ZONE."

"you mean the garage?"

I picked up the human to carry them back into town. I rolled my eyes at Sans while I did. "YES, I MEAN THE GARAGE! I'VE ONLY TOLD YOU ABOUT WHAT WE WERE SUPPOSED TO DO WITH CAPTURED HUMANS A HUNDRED TIMES!"

He linked his hands behind his head and winked. "sorry, bro. guess it went in one ear and out the other."

"YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE EARS!"

Such was our conversation as we returned. With the human firmly and comfortably ensconced in the Capture Zone, I was about to leave when I noticed them finally doing something. "SANS, WHY IS THE HUMAN SHAKING LIKE THAT?"

He took one look and said, "they're probably cold. i'm pretty sure humans shake like that when they get wet in cold places. that fog probably didn't help things."

I was growing concerned. "IS THERE A WAY TO STOP THEM SHAKING?"

He nodded, looking confident. "yup, just have to warm them back up. they could probably use a blanket and a space heater right about now."

"WE HAVE THOSE THINGS IN THE HOUSE! I'LL GO AND FETCH THEM. YOU STAY HERE AND MAKE SURE THEY DON'T GET TOO COLD!"

Papyrus dashed off to the house to fetch what we needed to keep the kid from becoming a Unicicle. He was a good guy, that way, always concerned about other people. It's part of what made him so cool. But while he was doing that, there was something I had to do, too.

I looked down at the kid. Their head was resting on the small dog bed Papyrus had set up in here. I knew he called our shed the "doghouse" sometimes, although he'd taken it a bit far with the dog food bowl and chewing toy. Then again, he never did anything by halves.

The kid's teeth started to chatter so I threw my coat over them, just until Papyrus came back. Then I performed a Check. All the usual information came up, but something was a little amiss. LV and ATK were about what I expected for someone without a single point of EXP, but their DEF was higher than it should have been. Higher than their equipment could account for. Doing what I do for a living, I was able to Check deeper into their SOUL than most others could.

At that point it was less about numbers and more about feelings. The kid felt like a generally good person with a very warm and caring soul, and very determined. But there was a strange mix of loneliness and wariness, deeper inside. When I tried to reach out to it, it felt like my face hit a brick wall. The weird mix retreated deeper inside and was replaced with fear and no small amount of anger. I couldn't get any deeper, and I didn't even want to try.

I ended my Check. The poor kid… poor Frisk was still shaking, and Papyrus wasn't back, yet. I could guess at what had happened to them, what had caused them to build up their inner defenses like that, but I didn't want to. That was something Frisk would have to tell me themselves.

But one thing was for certain. The ultimate state of their SOUL would hang on the choices they made. They were a good person… but that could change in a heartbeat. One moment of anger or fear would be all it took for it to begin…

The door to the shed opened with a bang, making me jump. Papyrus had come in with a blanket and the space heater in his arms. I was grateful for the interruption.

I made myself smile. "what took ya, bro?" He looked disgusted as he told me the heater's power crystal had worn out, forcing him to find another one. I got my coat back, the blanket went over Frisk and we set up the heater. Papyrus left a note for them, then we slipped through the bars of the "capture zone" and left the shed. Papyrus went back to the outskirts of town, just in case the human was somehow able to escape, even though it was "impossible." Sometimes I wondered if he made the bars so wide on purpose, just so he would have a chance to see humans.

I told him I would go to back to my station. I didn't tell him which station, though, or when I'd go back. I figured I should stick around for the inevitable battle. Out of sight, of course. Frisk was angry at someone, and if it was Papyrus… I didn't think it was, but it wouldn't hurt to keep an eyesocket on the both of them, for now.

Everything was fun and games 'til someone turned to dust, as they say.

"Mmmnnnmmgh…" I opened one eye. There was a small amount of light coming from something warm, but I closed it again. It felt like I hit my head again, and I was trying to remember what I'd been doing. It took a while but I finally recalled that I'd been fighting Papyrus. My foot came down on a patch of ice, making me slip, and after that…

I must have knocked myself out. I finally opened my eyes to find a new contraption warming the space around it, keeping me warm. I also had a blanket thrown over me, which I thought was nice of Papyrus to do. Then I saw the little dog bed, the bowl filled with dog food and a dog toy. I had to wonder if he was trying to insinuate something, or if there was some joke I was unaware of.

I read the note from Papyrus calling these the "guest accomodations", then inspected the device that was so warm. It was a metal box with wires coiled within. The coils were red and hot, and something was blowing the heated air out of the box and into the space around. I was worried about it being a fire hazard, so I figured out how to shut it off and folded the blanket. There were bars in this place, but they were clearly built by Papyrus so it was easy enough to leave.

It turned out I had been in the locked shed next to the locked house. I went back to the foggy road and faced Papyrus again. He turned my soul blue straight away, and I did much better at dodging this time. My HP had been restored while I rested, so if I slipped again I shouldn't be knocked out.

I needn't have worried. By the last attack I was perfectly fine and didn't slip. Papyrus was looking a little worse for wear, huffing and puffing and… sweating? I wondered how that worked, but there were more important things to focus on when Papyrus began to speak, his breathing slightly labored.

"WELL…! IT'S CLEAR… YOU CAN'T… DEFEAT ME! I CAN SEE YOU SHAKING IN YOUR BOOTS! THEREFORE I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, ELECT TO GRANT YOU PITY! THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO ACCEPT MY MERCY." I thought it was the other way around, but if it made him feel better about not being able to capture me he could think whatever he wanted. So I spared him one last time, and the fight finally ended.

Papyrus was forlorn. Aloud, he lamented. "NYOO HOO HOO… I CAN'T EVEN STOP SOMEONE AS WEAK AS YOU… THEY'LL NEVER LET ME IN THE ROYAL GUARD, AND MY FRIEND QUANTITY WILL REMAIN STAGNANT!"

I could sympathize. On the surface it had been hard for me to make friends. There had been nobody I could share my interests with, nobody to just talk to. I knew what loneliness was like when there was nothing but the dark to surround yourself with. It… wasn't fun.

"We could be friends, Papyrus."

He was surprised by the offer. "REALLY!? YOU'D BE FRIENDS WITH ME?" I nodded and he beamed. "WOWIE! WE HAVEN'T EVEN GONE ON OUR FIRST DATE AND I'M ALREADY IN THE FRIEND ZONE! WHO KNEW ALL I NEEDED TO DO TO MAKE FRIENDS WAS TO GIVE PEOPLE AWFUL PUZZLES AND FIGHT THEM? YOU HAVE TAUGHT ME MUCH, HUMAN." I realized that I hadn't given him my name yet, so I introduced myself.

"FRISK IS YOUR NAME? VERY WELL, HUMAN FRISK! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HEREBY GRANT YOU PASSAGE TO WATERFALL!" He also gave me directions to the surface, which basically amounted to "keep going forward and through the capital." He told me about the barrier trapping the monsters, and how someone with a powerful soul like mine could pass through it, which was why the king wanted me. He needed my soul so monsterkind could return to the surface.

When he started to describe what the king was like, I wasn't expecting Papyrus to call him a "big, fuzzy pushover." He was apparently a nice person, beloved by his people, and asking politely would be all it'd take for him to let me see the barrier. "Mr. Dreemurr" would even guide me there, himself. I almost told Papyrus I wasn't interested in seeing it, that I only wanted to talk to whoever Asgore was, but I didn't. Maybe it'd be better if everyone thought I was trying to leave. Maybe it wouldn't, but it could save me the trouble of explaining why I left the best home I'd ever had for a possibly quixotic quest to talk to someone that was going to try and kill me.

Papyrus had said everything he'd wanted to say. He went home to be a "cool friend," and invited me to come over for the "date" whenever I wanted to. In all the kerfuffle, I'd forgotten to ask what a date was, or what he'd meant by "friend zone." I'd only flirted with him because that was the only Act I could choose from besides performing a Check or insulting him. I guess I was hoping he'd go easier on me.

I walked down the road, the fog lifting as I got closer to the next area of the Underground. The change in temperature was noticeable, and the sound of rushing water filled the air. I wondered what new and exciting things awaited me.