Ello again. I 'ave just finished an experience I will likely never forget. I will describe it to you the best I possibly can, although, it is likely I'll leave out a few details here or there. Here is 'ow it went then. When I was finished writing my last entry, I went and prepared the crew to loot the nearest ship. It was a nice looking ship. Good wood. I believe the name on the side was The Avenger. Lovely name I think. Not nearly as eye catching as The Black Pearl, but oh well, right? On with it then I 'spose. So we pull up right close, and I yell over "We want all of your goods! Food, weaponry and jewelry. And if you've got any women onboard, those too!" Just thought I'd throw the last one in eh? Couldn't hurt to try. Imagine my surprise when a silhouette wearing fairly baggy clothes moves out from the shadows of the mast, and says this, "We 'ave no damn goods you wretch! We were goin' to loot YOU! So, if you 'ave no loot, and I 'ave no damn loot, then we are both bloody screwed aren't we?" At first I thought, who was this fool talking to CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow like this? And then, I looked a bit closer. It was a women.

She 'ad a hat on, as to hide her hair, but I knew womanly features If I saw 'em. And no man had a face like that! She was a beauty too, but I pushed it aside, well, at least we were to far apart for her to slap me. But, anyways, back to the story. "Love, how bouts you get your captain out here and we two can have a MANLY discussion." I was trying to be reasonable. I mean, it wouldn't be that hard to take a ship whose captain sent out a women to do his bidding! But, this is what that wench said to me then, "I am the damn captain and this is about the manliest our 'discussion' is gonna to get! So, hand over ANYTHING you 'ave, and I'll be on me bloody way then."

Now I was going to 'ave to do something. This was getting a bit ridiculous. A women trying to loot me? CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW? I wouldn't 'ave it. So, I simply did what any other dignified captain would've done. I offered the lass some rum.

"You git! I want something of VALUE! Not your cheap, probably rat-ridden RUM!" Oh, she took it too far that time, talking about my precious rum that way. It was a very good rum, not the cheap stuff, no. But still, I couldn't harm a lady. I am much to kind for that.

"Alright love, what's got you troubled then? Running away from a bad wedding? Looking for your kidnaped lover? Trying not to get snatched by Barb- never mind then, no rum then, huh? Well I guess I'll be on my way.", I figure since this lass 'asn't got any loot, I 'aven't got any uses for her. Well, maybe I 'ave got uses for her but you get the picture anyways. So, I go back to the helm and carry on with business. Guess what that crazy wench did then? She shot a pistol at me! Barely clipped my shoulder! It 'urt like hell. Damn! Now she's done it! "Open Fire!", I yelled to the crew. We blew that blood ship to smithereens. Good part is, didn't 'urt her much. She jumped overboard at the first cannon shot and swam bloody fast. I didn't catch where she went after that. So, I started getting the ship ready and the like, we got moving. I went back to my cabin. I started to write an entry which I crumpled into a ball and threw overboard. Was no good I'm afraid. Something about a song I 'ad stuck in my head. Drink up me hardies! Anyways now, I went up to the deck and I heard a faint sort of shrieking. I thought it was a rat. I told you about those bloody rats right? I think so, but anyways, I grabbed a broom 'andle I found in the corner and followed the noise. There was a large crate of gunpowder in a corner by the side of the ship, so I went over to it. I pushed it aside and got in battle stance. Do you know what in the bloody 'ell I found next? That damn women. She was smiling up at me like she just had a jolly day. One thing escaped my lips at that moment. "Shit." So now, I locked her up in one of the rooms below deck. I 'ave no idea in Davy Jones' Locker what to do with her. But, she's screaming now, and HAS been for about an hour. I should've thrown her overboard when I saw that shark! Dammit! That would've been good to watch! Look what I've gotten into now! I've got to get her to shut up. I'm gonna go find that broom handle. 'Til next time, whenever that is.

A very damn annoyed,

Captain Jack Sparrow

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Alright then. Second entry. Please review. I would love to hear of any suggestions. Maybe some situations you'd like me to put poor Jack in? I'm not quite sure If I want to turn this into a love story. I feel we have enough of those out there. Like I said, please give me suggestions.