Oh yeah! That's right! Eyeliner and Mascara is back! Oliver is back and just as crazy as ever!
I know that I said that Reapplied was the end, well I decided that I couldn't live without E&M it's too much of me, and I discovered that without it, I was less….. Oliver. It was awful!
SO hope you enjoy the first chapter!
Eyeliner and Mascara- Far too Far
Arguments 'a' PlentyYou thought it was over didn't you. You thought I was gone forever. I don't blame you for your ignorance, but did you really think that I could resist telling you about my new wicked awesome plan, and when I say wicked awesome, I mean that in the wickedest and the awesome-'est' way. That is so not a word, but I guess that's beside the point.
Ok now I guess that you're here and that I've got your attention, it's time to tell you what's been happening, because a lot has happened since I last spoke to you. First of all, we have Johnny and Robert, with in the past 7 weeks they have broken up and the got back 'together' again 11 times, that is more than once a week, I wouldn't consider those the best stats. They're both fighting constantly to be the dominant person in the relationship, and as I'm sure you know, neither are likely to give up easily. Which is not the best for their relationship, but the more enjoyment for Enrique and myself. Ok, so now onto us, I'm sure this is the information that you've been longing to hear, because, of course, your world revolves around ME.
Ok so I'm sure if you don't know about what's happened to me and Enrique in the more distant past with a couple of different applications of Eyeliner and Mascara, then I am pretty sure that you must have been living under a rock, a very big rock, a rock bigger than I've ever seen. Because I know good gossip travels fast, and that was all good gossip if I ever heard it, and trust me, I am an expert in gossip. Gossip is my friend, unless of course it's not my friend, in which it's probably bad, and about me. But usually I love it. Which is why I wish to share my gossip with you.
Enrique hasn't changed at all, well neither of us have, the only thing that changed is that we are no longer fighting every two seconds, it's been almost two days since our last fight, and still counting. You may not see this as significant, but, for me, it really is. Significant in a way that I'm not getting yelled at and criticized by him all the time, and he stands up for me when Johnny and Robert make it their job to fully and totally humiliate me or simply mock me to no end. See Johnny and Robert have not changed in that department, still as useless and relentless as they always have been. So I'm sure your all wondering what I've done to pay back Johnny for stealing Ruffer and blackmailing him with grotesque images of him being tortured. Well…. I'm yet to make a move, Enrique said that he would help me, but that he no longer had any creativity when it came to total and utter humiliation. That that part of the plan was something that I would have to figure out all on my own. Which is unfortunate because I cant think of anything that's totally evil to do to Johnny, I've been trying, I've been trying REALLY hard, it's like my brains gone into evil meltdown, and all it's evil contents have been corrupted by unicorns and rainbows. Depressing isn't it. I've become a fairy :cries hysterically: What? You don't seem surprised? Always been a fairy you say? Well, I have a bone to pick with you, I was a very evil, manly man before I was corrupted by all that goody goody pansy stuff. So don't even try and disagree with me again! Or it will be your head. :gasps: Was that …..was it….. was that a small figment of my former evil self? Me think it was….Oh, how the world shall rejoice on this day, and it will be forever known as the day that Oliver got his evil'ness' back…… go on, pencil it in, June 21st. It shall be a public holiday for all, and everyone will love it more than Christmas. Oh, that's right, I said it. MORE than Christmas. That's right, fear me, for I am loved, and there's nothing you can do about it.
Ok, on with the story, I'm happy now that I can feel my evilness returning, and I think I may go and visit Johnny and Enrique in the living room, and I think I'll really enjoy disrupting their T.V viewing time.
There they are. All cosy and stuff. I think that ill really enjoy making them sweat.
I walk, every so slowly to behind the couch that Johnny is relaxing on, but as usual take a very undignified fall, and flip over the top of the couch right into Johnny's lap. Ewwww…. I feel dirty. Yuck. Gotta get up, gotta have a shower.
"Yuck get off me Oliver! You'll give me some kind of pansy germ." He says rudely shoving me off him and straight onto the ground, landing on my arse. Enrique laughs, I'm not sure if at the comment Johnny made or the fact that I fell on to the couch and then onto my bum? If it's the first one I will throttle him. BECAUSE I don't have 'pansy' germs, if anything, he has the 'really-gay-crappy-and-filthy' germs. Which I for one, don't intend on catching. I sand up and brush myself off, removing whatever germs I can in my haste.
"Excuse me Jonathan if anyone's catching any germs here, it's will be me…. From you!" I exclaim dramatically. He rolls his eyes and looks away, I do the same thing. "Pansy germs" I laugh mockingly.
At this moment Robert enters and sits on the couch at Johnny's feet.
I for one would never sit that close to those feet, that is without a gas mask. I'd like to live at least another 50 years, or more, think about it now I'd like to live forever…… but I don't really want to get old, well I don't want to look old. Cause that would be bad.
"What's going on here?" Robert asks, eyeing me suspiciously. What's he got to be suspicious about? I'm think that that's a bit rude!
Johnny smiles. "Oh nothing, Oliver just threw himself on me, in some useless attempt to get laid. Apparently Enrique isn't really 'all that'" Johnny grins at his evilness. Oh no he didn't! Enrique was laughing, but has now stopped, he looks kinda angry now. Robert turns to me, no emotion written on his face at all to tell me whether he just kidding.
"Now Oliver, you know to keep your grubby little paws off Johnny" A small smile graces his lips, and he says. "he bites" Johnny went with it, he growled baring his teeth at me. All I can do is glare. Oh, that right take that, my ninja glare. Be afraid. Be VERY afraid. Robert is still smiling, a site not often seen, yet it continues. I think that he finds it funny that I am extremely frustrated. Oooo, I have an idea to annoy them, one thing that they can't stand more, is talking bout their 'relationship' in public.
"Well…" I start, ad put on a fake 'loving' smile. "Aren't you two just such happy love birds" They both glare at me, they look as though they suddenly feel sick to the stomach.
"He's a bitch and I hate him!" Johnny says quickly. Robert gives me a lopsided smile.
"I am not! I'm a lovely boyfriend! He just takes my beatings and verbal abuse the wrong way!" He retaliates sarcastically.
"Ha. Ha. Funny!" Johnny rolls his eyes.
"So who is the bitch in the relationship?" Stupid question! I know! I'm just extremely curious!
"He is!" They both point at each other. He he! Although Enrique and myself haven't discussed this, I'm sure that we would be on mutual ground that he is in fact the bitch, considering that I am more masculine than he is:glares: That was not supposed to be some kind of joke! So why are you laughing?
Enrique is laughing hysterically at Johnny and Robert who are now having a rather bitter argument. Which is very funny for all bystanders?
I figure that this is my time to leave in triumph at a job well done, Enrique follows me still looking as though he's trying to stop his stomach from exiting through his mouth, covering it with his hand but bursting at the sides with giggles.
Entering the library I sit down on the couch, Enrique sits down next to me. He looks as though he's trying really hard to stop laughing so that he can talk, but failing miserably. I thwack him harshly on the back, which succeeds in making him cough and stop laughing. He glares at me half-heartedly.
"What was that for?" He asks, small sines of his laughter spurting through in his voice.
"It stopped you laughing didn't it" I state bluntly. He nods weakly. His face lights up again.
"I remember what I was going to say….." He pauses, almost as if he had once again forgotten. " wait, wait….. oh that right. I though of a way for you to get at Johnny, literally" HE grins evilly. I don't like the sound of the literally. But ill give it a chance. …… I guess.
Thanx for reading anf I really hope that your liked it, please review this chappie and tell me exactly what you think! I want an honest opinion.
Hopefuly you will all like enrique's IDEA it's pretty crazy!
THANX!
Please Review.
Luv u's all
BOE4eva