Chapter Thirteen: Here We Are

I sat in a chair before the globe, my arms crossed atop the back of it, and just watched the ripples. I tried not to feel like a failure, but it was hard…

I figured out where the big ones came from during Mettaton's broadcast of his fight against Frisk. I watched it on my c-phone after my nap because I was worried about the kid. I watched her fight… and watched her die. Her SOUL shattered on live CV, and then it was like the show never started at all. I had immediately come to the globe only to find more ripples bouncing around the globe. I watched the show again, but nothing happened when Frisk defeated her opponent. That was when I knew…

After Frisk died an anomaly would happen, then she'd be back. I didn't know how she could mess with time like that, and I didn't know why she had that ability, but that's what was happening. I wished this was one of the things I could forget whenever it happened…

I let her face Asgore and Frisk rippled the globe again. And again.

I shouldn't have let her go. I should've done something to protect her, freedom be damned. Screw the sun and the moon! They weren't worth that poor kid dying over and over and over like this! Nothing under the sky was worth forcing anybody through this… this torture! I hated myself for telling her that we were counting on her… But it was too late. After the second of Frisk's ripples, I almost dared to hope that they were over… but they weren't. At least, I thought so.

Once the FIGHT at the barrier was over and we found Asgore's dust, the anomalies began to behave strangely. It was like they originated from outside the scope of the globe and we were only catching the fringes of them. They weren't affecting this world the way they usually did, so time marched on.

The number of anomalies was alarming. There were so many it'd been hard to tell where one started and another ended… It made me wonder, *Who in the world would want to kill Frisk THAT much?

It had been a while since the anomalies stopped happening. Me, Papyrus and Undyne left a voice mail on Frisk's c-phone, but I didn't know if it would reach her. I was starting to doubt she was "here." If the globe represented our world, what did it mean when she died outside of it?

Before my thoughts could get any more depressing one of Frisk's anomalies happened from inside the globe. I had a second to marvel at the fact that I wanted this one to happen before things changed.

I was still in the globe room but I wasn't in the chair and I was back in my executioner's garb. I hadn't bothered to change after judging Frisk and had come straight here…

I took a shortcut to the Last Corridor. I hid behind one of the pillars and waited. When Frisk finally walked through she was taking her time with it. She seemed okay, but she stopped in front of one of the windows and just started staring out…

She soon shook herself and left. There was something about the way she was carrying herself that said she was bone-tired, but she kept on walking, anyway…

I wanted to talk to her, I wanted to ask how she was but… I didn't want to do that while I was still dressed as the executioner. She didn't look like she needed the reminder.

I was… numb. I could barely believe what had just happened to me.

After Flowey ran away I went through the only exit I could see. It just lead me into more darkness. After walking for god-only-knows how long, I started to make marks in my journal for every one hundred steps I took. Partly to keep track of how far I was walking. Partly to give myself something to concentrate on besides second-guessing my decision to spare Flowey.

I completely filled two pages before I stopped.

Just as I was thinking of my friends I somehow got a "voice mail" on my c-phone, from them. It almost made me weep, hearing them all trying to stay positive when they'd lost their king and the six souls. Mother, all of them, were working so hard. Sans wished me happiness…

Flowey appeared before me. He asked me why I spared him. He told me being nice just opened me up to being hurt, as though I didn't already know that. He struggled to understand, because I had done everything right but things still ended up this way. I would probably never see my friends again. If I had just gone through without caring about anybody, I wouldn't have felt so bad.

He gave me back my save star. He said that I could get a "better ending" and gave me a hint on how to do that. I didn't know what he meant about an "ending," and wondered if he was tricking me, but I didn't want to stay in the dark any longer. I begged the star to take me back…

I was just outside the barrier. The items in my hip pack told me this was before my second attempt to defeat Asgore (technically my third, I suppose). The marks I'd made in my journal to track my march through the dark were gone… I turned my back on Asgore and ran through throne room because I didn't want to linger among the golden flowers.

The corridor where Sans judged me was still being colored by the sunset. It felt like it had been an eternity since I'd seen any light! I just wanted to stand there forever… But I couldn't. The detached feeling was becoming more frequent and I could hear the heartbeat beeping if I let myself think about it.

It felt like I was running out of time… but I didn't know why.

I used the elevator that hadn't been working before to quickly get back to the Core. As I left the power plant I got a call from Undyne asking for a favor (which was apparently planned by Papyrus, script and all.) On my way to the ferry I stopped by Alphys' laboratory, but the door was locked and there was no answer when I knocked.

Snowdin's cold was more than bracing, after being away for so long. HAD it been a long time? It was hard to tell. I found Undyne standing with Papyrus outside his house, and she asked me to deliver a letter to Alphys for her. She would have done it herself, but she hated Hotland, even more than she hated Snowdin's cold. She also threatened to kill me if I read her letter, then thanked me and said I was "the best!"

In other words, typical Undyne behavior.

I almost bumped into Sans as I turned to go back to the ferry. He was wearing his alchemist's coat and old, baggy tunic and pants as he greeted me jovially. I could almost believe that he hadn't looked into the depths of my soul and had driven me to confess all my crimes just a couple minutes ago. Well, a couple of minutes as far as he would know. It felt like it had been forever, to me…

"heya kiddo! you look hungry. wanna go grab a bite with me at grillby's? my treat!"

Papyrus overheard him. "WHAT? HUMAN FRISK IS HUNGRY? WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO!? I, MASTER CHEF PAPYRUS, WOULD BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO COOK FOR THEM! THERE'S NO NEED TO SUBJECT THEM TO ALL THAT GREASE!"

Undyne chimed in. "I'll help too! I THOUGHT the little punk looked weird. I figured it was just their face! Get over here!" She threw me over her shoulder like I was a sack of potatoes and carried me into the house, all while I still clutched her letter. I saw that Sans looked like he was caught between amusement and annoyance, but he soon followed after us.

Undyne dumped me on the couch, telling me to sit tight before she followed Papyrus into the kitchen. Sans watched them for a bit, then grimaced. From the mere sound of things, it wasn't pretty. He walked over to the couch but didn't take a seat. Instead he leaned against the armrest next to me, speaking in a low tone so as not to attract the attention of the busy "chefs".

"you, uh, might've figured this out, but i know you're not really hungry. you look more like you could use a nice, long nap. now might be a good time to start one, if you get my drift." In case I hadn't, he jerked his head in the kitchen's direction. A nap did sound nice, but…

I shook my head, then stopped because I started feeling dizzy. "I can't. I have to deliver this letter. I have to go see Alphys. I… I don't have a lot of time, left…"

Sans gave me a confused look. "what do you mean by that, kiddo?"

I didn't know… but at the same time I did. "I'm about to wake up." My head felt so heavy…

Sans didn't understand. I didn't, either. He said, "now i know you're tired as hell… you're already awake, kid! it's lookin' like that's part of your problem…"

I tried to shake my head again but I just fell onto the couch cushions. My body didn't want to move and I couldn't keep my eyes open. I said, "I don't want to wake up… I want to stay here, with you…" but I wasn't sure Sans could hear me. It was probably too slurred to be understandable, anyway…

I was back in the dark, but this time there was something like a window. A gray window, just hanging in the air. I didn't want to see what was on the other side… I didn't want to know. I had a feeling that, if I looked, I would never see Sans or Mother or any of them again… so I turned my back to it. Beeping filled the air and got louder and louder. I curled up on the floor and covered my ears, but then I heard a voice I didn't know.

"She's not doing well, Mr. and Mrs. Kane. I'm afraid a decision will have to be made about her future, and it will have to be made soon…"

I didn't want to know who was talking, or what he meant. I didn't want to be here. I wanted to go home, with my real mother. I wanted to help Sans make her laugh. I wanted to make him laugh. I wanted to solve Papyrus' puzzles. I wanted Undyne to teach me how to be strong, like her. I wanted Alphys to teach me about all the technology monsters used. I wanted to have tea with Asgore and talk.

I felt someone shaking my shoulder, and it felt like I was being stuffed back into my body as a scream was caught in my throat. It was hard to focus, but I heard a familiar voice trying to soothe me.

"s'okay, kiddo. you're okay. shhh, it's just a bad dream." I tried to ask him what was going on, but Sans only said, "it's the middle of the night. you should go back to sleep. don't worry, i'll be right here 'til you do." One of his hands was holding mine, and his other was on the top of my head, his thumb rubbing soothing circles as fatigue pulled me back down to the couch. I didn't even have the energy to thank him for all his kindness before falling asleep again.

When I woke up later, I was covered with the blanket I'd been under when I was in the "guest accommodations." I could hear somebody doing something in the kitchen. When I got off the couch and went to see who it was, it turned out to be Papyrus. He looked surprised to see me, then relieved.

"HUMAN FRISK! YOU'RE FINALLY AWAKE! WE WERE ALL SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU!" Swept me off my feet in a huge hug as he said, "WE WERE STARTING TO THINK YOU HAD FALLEN DOWN!" I returned his hug, but was confused. I asked him how long I'd been asleep and he said, "IT'S BEEN ALMOST AN ENTIRE DAY!" He put me back on my feet as he asked, "ARE YOU ALRIGHT, HUMAN FRISK? YOU MUST HAVE BEEN EXTREMELY TIRED…"

I told him that I had been tired, and that I was fine, now. I left after assuring Undyne of the same and asked Papyrus to pass the message on to Sans (who was nowhere to be found.)

I went back to Hotland. I slid Undyne's letter under the laboratory's door and knocked. I could hear Alphys fretting, saying that she didn't want to open any more letters… but then deciding to open this one. She sounded like she was having trouble opening it. There was silence as she read it, then she just sounded miffed.

She opened the door as she said, "If this is a joke, it's not-!" She cut herself off as she finally saw me. I gave her a little wave and a smile.

Her mouth was hanging open before she remembered to shut it. "Oh my god? Did YOU write this? It wasn't signed so… Oh my god. That's just… adorable! I h-had no idea you, um, wrote that way! I was surprised… After everything I did, all the lies… I don't deserve to be forgiven, much less this." She gestured to the letter for a second, then said, "You know what? Okay! I-I know I have to make it up to you, so let's just go with it! Let's go on this date!"

*THAT was what the letter was about? Before I could tell her who it was really from, the "date" started, just like it had with Papyrus… except that Alphys was nowhere to be seen. She told me she was still changing and it gave me time to think. Maybe I could just go along with it. If it would help cheer her up and get her out of the laboratory, I think Undyne would forgive me.

I hoped.

Alphys finally appeared, wearing the nice dress I'd seen in her wardrobe. She said a friend had picked it out, and I had a feeling I knew which one. The date almost started… then Alphys said to wait. She wanted to give me gifts to increase my "affection statistic and increase the chance of a successful outcome," whatever that meant. She tried to give me metal armor polish, waterproof cream for scales and a magical spear repair kit. They were all clearly meant for a certain fish warrior we both knew, but it still made me smile. Even if the gifts weren't really for me, Alphys was being so cute I couldn't help but feel my "affection statistic" rising, anyway.

She decided to forget about the gifts and the date started for real. We both stood in mildly awkward silence. I didn't say anything, since the date had been her idea in the first place and it's not like I knew what to do.

She hesitantly asked me if I liked to read novels and I said I did. That made her happy, for a moment. After a little more awkward silence she decided to take our date somewhere else. We went to the garbage dump in Waterfall, a place she and Undyne frequented. She said they usually found all sorts of great things.

Then, she saw Undyne approaching. She hid behind a trash can as Undyne strode up to me. She was nicely dressed and her hair was styled, but she was visibly nervous.

"Hey! There you are! I, uh, realized that if you deliver that letter it might be a bad idea so… I'll be taking it back!" She held out her hand, but I only shook my head.

"I already delivered it."

"YOU WHAT!? Ngggaaahhh!" She looked embarrassed before gathering her wits again. "Have you at least seen her!?"

I nodded. Before I could tell her where Alphys was she said she'd keep looking for the alchemist before running off.

Alphys came out from behind her trash can. She confessed that she liked Undyne, more than she did others (she seemed to have forgotten that I had already guessed as much during Mettaton's quiz). She just thought it would be fun to go on a little "pretend date", then let me down gently.

Before I could tell her Undyne had written the letter, she began to confide in me. She listed what she admired most about Undyne and how she could never compare. How she was nobody, and a fraud. Even though she was the royal alchemist, she did nothing but hurt people. She had told so many lies, making Undyne think she was cooler than she actually was. If she ever got too close, she would learn the truth… Alphys asked me what she should do. Knowing what a burden hiding the truth could be, I told her.

"Tell her. It'll be better than making her find out for herself."

Alphys looked stricken. "B-but if I do that, she'll hate me! Isn't it better to live a lie where we're both happy? The truth will just make us both unhappy…"

I frowned at her. "You mean to say you're happy now? You don't look like it, to me."

She looked miserable as she said, "I know… I know you're right. I'm scared. Every single day I worry people will see through my lies and they'll be hurt because of me… But how could I p-possibly tell Undyne? I d-don't have the confidence… I know I'll m-mess it up! How in the world do I practice!?"

I tilted my head. "Why not act it out with me?"

"Y-you mean like roleplaying? That… That actually sounds fun." She was smiling a little as we decided I would play Undyne.

It went well, at first. She greeted "Undyne" and I returned it with the biggest, toothiest grin I could manage. She said she had something to talk with me about, so I asked her what it was. She almost told the truth… then got swept up in her own feelings and started confessing her love. She shouted her feelings to the sky (or rather, the ceiling) and who else would appear but the head of the Royal Guard, herself.

Things got awkward. The look on her face when she realized Alphys and I were on a date made me fear for my life, for a second. Then Alphys said we weren't really on a date, then said she'd been lying. Undyne demanded to know what she'd been lying about and it was like a floodgate opened inside of Alphys.

She'd said seaweed was scientifically important, but she only used it to make ice cream. She said the "history books" were all fiction, as were the "documentaries" they watched together. She said she had once lied over the phone, saying she was "busy" when she'd just been eating sweets in her pajamas. She got closer and closer to Undyne, who was trying to get her attention, but Alphys went on…

"I… I just wanted to impress you! I wanted you to think I was smart, and cool… That I wasn't just some nerdy loser." Undyne patted her on the head, still trying to gain her attention. "I… I just think you're really neat, okay…?" Undyne knelt down to Alphys' level, hugging her, trying to calm her…

Up until she stood with Alphys in her arms and threw her into a trash can! I was shocked and wanted to scold her, but Undyne wasn't done.

"I... I think you're neat too, I guess. But you need to realize most of what you just said doesn't matter to me. I don't care if the documentaries are fake, or if you read a lot of books. To me, ALL of it is NERDY CRAP! What I like is that you're PASSIONATE about it! Whatever it is, YOU CARE ABOUT IT! ONE HUNDRED PERCENT AT MAXIMUM POWER!

"I don't want you to lie, anymore, to anyone. I want you to be happy with who you are, and I know just the training!"

Alphys peered out from her trash can. She sounded love-struck as she asked if Undyne would train her… but she was disappointed as Papyrus appeared from behind a heap of garbage and was given the responsibility. Before I could ask him what he was doing here he was off, leading Alphys on a hundred-lap jog including self-affirmations. Undyne started a timer, and Alphys promised to do her best.

They were gone, leaving me and Undyne behind. She had a strange look on her face… Before I could ask her if anything was wrong she grabbed me by the shoulders with a manic expression.

"She was kidding, right!? The documentaries and the books are REAL, right!?" She was shaking me so hard I couldn't speak, so I gave her a thumbs-up because I needed her to release me before she broke my neck. This seemed to satisfy her and almost ran off, but before she did she thanked me for taking care of Alphys. Undyne hadn't managed to say what she wanted, but liked that things would get better for our friend.

On my way out of the dump I got a call from Papyrus. He and Alphys had finished their training (very) early. He had sent her home and he felt very strongly, for no reason at all, that I should go see her. He said he only had good feelings about it and hung up.

He was clearly worried. That made me worry, so I ran back to Hotland.

The door to the lab opened on its own again. I called out to Alphys but there was no answer. There was a note on the floor in front of the bathroom. It was really hard to read because of the chicken-scratch writing, but what I read chilled me.

I was very, very worried after reading the letter. I stepped through the door, which turned out to be an elevator. I pressed the button to the bottom floor. It suddenly started to shake and a mechanical voice blared a warning. The elevator was losing power, and the "EM tether stability" (whatever the hell that was!) was lost. My stomach flipped and I could swear I was floating as the elevator fell faster and faster…

BOOM!

I sprawled on the floor. As I got back on my feet I wondered how I survived. The door was open… but there was hardly any light to see by. It seemed like there were lights set along the floor, but they were dim and just barely lit anything.

I followed the hallway and screens hanging on the walls would turn themselves on as I approached them. They seemed to be journal entries and I found four of them… but they were numbered one, two, three and five. Number four was missing, so I just wrote them down in my journal. If all the rest were out of order, I could read them one after another in my journal in the proper order.

I found myself in a lobby-like area. A door with four markings was locked, as was a door on the right with just one marking, so I went through the only other way out on the left.

I found entry numbers six and nine. There were tables that looked like they were for surgical operations and they were… sticky. I saw that there were sinks and tried to wash my hands in the one… but water wasn't coming out of the faucet. Instead an amorphous blob pooled in the sink and dragged me into a fight! I tried to call somebody on my c-phone, but all I got was a strange voice saying "come join the fun." After dodging the… thing's attacks, I politely declined. That seemed to satisfy whatever it was and it went away when I spared it.

There was a red key left in the sink so I put it on my keychain. There was a door to a small room, with some strange device in the wall that would accept the red key. It lit up, so I went back to the lobby. The red portion of the big door had lit up and the door on the right was now unlocked. I found entry numbers twelve and thirteen on my way to a big room with a number of beds in it. They all looked the same, except for two. One had the covers shoved to the foot of the bed, the other had the pillow tucked under the sheets unlike all the others. I found a yellow key under those covers and entry number fourteen on the wall. I went down the hallway near the save star.

Mirrors lined one side of the hallway, and the other side was lined with tables. Numerous golden flowers sat on the tables, growing in little pots. I found entry numbers seven and ten were on the wall before I was attacked by my reflection. Or at least an… amalgamation of monsters that had been masquerading as my reflection. I used my knowledge of monsters to satisfy all the… parts of what I was fighting. Once I spared them (it?) I moved on and found the slot I needed for the blue key. I didn't have it so I had to go back to the bedroom and go through the door near the save star.

Entry number fifteen was nearby, to the left, but I went down the hall to the right, first. The air was dusty as I struggled to read entry number eleven on the wall. All the way down the hall was a switch to turn on fans for ventilation, which was certainly needed. The dust cleared… but there were bits and pieces of something still left floating in the air. They came together to form another amalgamation, which took up the entire width of the hall and trapped me! I had no choice to start a fight.

It was vaguely dog-shaped, so I did everything I had tried when I fought the Greater Dog oh-so long ago. It was dripping… stuff on me but it behaved just like a very, very big dog, otherwise.

I went past entry number fifteen and found number sixteen. There was a door nearby with a shower and tub at the end of a hall… but something was behind the curtain. It moved from side-to-side, going faster and faster with each hesitant step I took… I grasped the curtain and summoned all my courage to yank it to the side! I was expecting a fight… but there was nothing but a green key in the bottom of the tub.

Past the tub room was some manner of contraption, but I went through a door to my right before inspecting it. It had entry number four, as well as a number of "recordings". I figured out how to watch them… and was saddened. Although there were no images, they were clearly made during a happier time in the kingdom. Mother was pregnant with her son, she and Asgore were still together… and there were three other recordings that the little prince and his human sibling had made, plus one last one with all of them, together.

The human's illness had been intentional. They had roped the prince into a plan to help them die so he could take their soul, go to the surface and obtain enough souls to free everyone. They were just children… The prince sounded even younger than me, for god's sake! The last recording had Mother and Asgore trying to encourage the human to hang on…

The strangest thing was how the human's name was being covered up by my name, whenever it was said, just like whenever I died…

I had to leave that room. I saw a save star in front of the strange contraption, but it turned out to be another amalgamation I had to spare. A screen on the wall called this the "DT Extraction Chamber". The machine's status was "inactive." Looking at it, I swore I could see Flowey, again…

I came across a room full of iceboxes. The only sounds were the ventilation fans, entry number nineteen turning itself on and the mechanical humming of the iceboxes. Then I noticed one of them moving! I looked inside… and found nothing. I passed by entry numbers twenty and twenty-one before one of the iceboxes revealed its true form as another amalgamation. It left behind the blue key once it was spared.

I found the slot for the green key. I had to backtrack to the yellow and blue slots, and I figured the big door in the lobby must be open, now. I saved in the lobby and went through the last door.

I was in another elevator but it had no power. I took the other door out and there were two screens on the wall, but they weren't working, either. I was in the "power room" with a gigantic lever to flip, so I turned it on. Once I did, all the amalgams started coming for me, cornering me! Before they could attack me Alphys appeared, saying that she had their food. They left us behind to talk.

She smiled at me. "Sorry about that. They get kind of sassy when they're hungry. They must have smelled what you had in your bag and… A-anyway! I've been trying to get the power back on, but you beat me to it. I appreciate the backup! I was afraid I might… not come back…"

I gestured behind her. "You mean because of… them?"

She was shocked. "What!? No no no! They're perfectly harmless! I was just… I was too afraid to tell the truth. I might have run away or… done something very cowardly." She sighed. "I… owe you an explanation."

She started pacing as she told her tale. She had been asked to study the nature of souls. She had managed to isolate something she dubbed "determination." She had injected it into dying monsters to help them persist after their deaths, but it failed. The subject's bodies couldn't handle the concentrations of "DT" she had used and their magic bodies lost what little physicality they had. They melted together into what I had seen.

She couldn't tell anyone. No matter how many times they asked, she couldn't let her failure be known. She was afraid to work, fearing more failure. But now…

"I've… I've changed my mind. I'm going to come clean and tell everyone. I know it's going to be hard. To be honest, to believe in myself… I know I'll struggle, but now I know I have friends who believe in me. I think that'll make it easier to stand on my own."

I nodded. "Good luck, Alphys. Believe me, it's not going to be fun, telling the whole truth, but you'll still feel better afterward. It certainly helped me, so I know it'll help you."

Alphys smiled. "Thank you, Frisk." The amalgams had came back. She turned to them, saying, "Come on, everyone. It's time to go home."

I followed them out and the two screens I passed by earlier activated. Entry numbers eight and eighteen were strange. Instead of being written in green, like the others had been, they were in red. I thought I could see a red-eyed, smiling face behind the writing…

After reading through all the journal entries I had found I realized I was missing number seventeen. I thought I found all the screens… but it was still missing. I stepped into the elevator, figuring I'd ask Alphys about it, but then my c-phone rang and someone I didn't recognize was on the other side.

"Frisk? You there? It's been a long time, hasn't it…? You've done well. Thanks to you, everything is in place. See you soon."

Again, my name was overriding the one whoever-it-was addressed me with! Before I could puzzle it out both doors of the elevator suddenly closed and it started rising as quickly as I'd fallen in the first place. When I finally stopped I was back in the capital. Vines covered the elevator and I couldn't leave. I had a bad feeling, all of a sudden, but I could only move forward.

I went back through the sunset-colored corridor and through the throne room. The save stars I'd seen before were gone, except for the one just outside the barrier.

This was it. This was the end. My head threatened to detach again but I dragged it back on. It was time to finish this, to finish everything.