(A/N: Finally, the REAL reason Snape's hair is so greasy. I'm sure he rigged the Pensieve memory to erase all signs of horrible –read: fantastic- glamrock fashion. Canon ain't got nothing on me, yo. Everyone knows he was a rabid New York Dolls fan and at one point tried a perm to try and look like Marc Bolan and/or Lou Reed. Everyone, I say!)
Chapter Five: Ch-ch-changes
It was a gossipy Tuesday in the teacher's lounge. In a corner on the far right, Professors Sprout and McGonagall sat sipping tea and observing the other teachers with critical eyes. "Ah, there's Severus." Sprout murmured as Snape stalked his way into the opposite corner. "It's a shame, he used to be such an… intriguing young man." McGonagall stared at Sprout.
"Intriguing?" she said. "He was a dangerous young hoodlum. I can see him now, hanging around the corridors, chewing gum and being rude, wearing platforms. No matter how many times I sent him out for having glitter on his face he'd still be there the next day, pretending he didn't know." She shook her head disapprovingly.
"At least he still washed his hair then." Sprout said. "I wonder what happened?"
"Well, I don't know, but I heard him tell Draco Malfoy once that he stopped washing it, in protest, when David Bowie turned heterosexual." McGonagall said.
"I don't even know what that means." Sprout said. "But it sounds dramatic."
"It looks dramatic, too." McGonagall said, and nearly smirked.