(A/N: As you might have guessed, Germany has been conquered. We will resume regular programming shortly. I hope you have missed me, my dears. You may also congratulate me on my birthday, which was last week, and send me your underwear, worn stockings, and love letters in the mail. Love, the Duchess of Inkling and Germany.)
Chapter Seven: Lust Objects
"I can't believe we finally know where the Malfoy's hidden Dark Objects stash is," Arthur Weasley said excitedly as the gang of Ministry officials made their way down the first floor corridor of Malfoy Manor. At the far end of it, Lucius and Narcissa stood looking after them with expression-less faces, although anyone closely acquainted with Lucius might have noticed the odd glitter in his eyes, and known it boded ill.
The Ministry of Magic officials, however, were not closely acquainted with Lucius, and therefore stormed through his house with unabated enthusiasm. After approximately six doors, they entered a room, and, ignoring the lavish but tasteful décor, trampled directly to the wall opposite, and took out a piece of parchment. Kingsley Shacklebolt and a small dark-haired wizard started reading out a spell from it and making complex movements with their wands, while the rest of the group looked on silently. When they were done, a small panel door appeared on the wall, and a simple Alohamora made it swing open, to reveal a secret cupboard, filled with…
"What the hell are those?" the dark-haired wizard said.
"They look like…" Kingsley Shacklebolt started hesitantly.
"Just glasses." Arthur Weasley said.
"Not just glasses." Kingsley Shacklebolt said, levitating one from the shelf. "They're shaped like… something." The group gathered round the glass, peering at it closely.
"This might sound insane," Arthur Weasley said, "but I think they look a bit like Severus Snape." The rest of them raised their eyebrows as he said this, but continued to look at the glass.
"You know," Kingsley Shacklebolt said pensively, "I think you're right. But…"
"They're naked." the dark-haired wizard said.
"Naked Snape-shaped glasses?" a blonde witch said, not looking averse to the idea.
"Yes." the rest of them said, looking confused and disgusted.
"I wonder what they use those for?" Arthur Weasley said.
There was a moment's silence, before they all looked at each other, and uttered a communal: "Eeeeew!"