(A/N: Imagine my surprise when the New Look!Death Eaters appears before my astonished eyes and I for a moment confused our dearest dim blond for another, less dim one. The very conjecture I had already used once in my stories! Truly, Oscar was right once again and life is proven to imitate art. However, since it was high time I planted another one of these things upon you, dear readers, I thought it wouldn't hurt to flog the decaying horse once more. Output has been slow, lately, since the artist has both emigrated, and her computer has met a sad demise. It's gone to meet its maker. It is pushing up the daisies. It is an ex-computer. And all that. Love, your dearest Duches. Oh! And to maintain some appearance of authenticity, the first bit is quoted from Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix, by JK Rowling, Bloomsbury, London, 2002, etc etc).
Chapter Eight: Prince Of The Land Of Wank!
"So he's got you doing his dirty work for him, has he? said Harry. "Like he tried to get Sturgis to steal it- and Bode?
"Very good, Potter, very good." said Malfoy slowly. "ACCIO PROPHECY!" he suddenly bellowed, and Harry felt the glass sphere slip from his unguarded grasp. He heard the others gasp with shock behind him as Lucius Malfoy caught the sphere and held it in a black gloved hand. To Harry's surprise, Lucius started rolling the glass ball from hand to hand, in a hypnotising manner. "Just a glass spere," he said, "but if you turn it this way, and that, it will show you your dreams." Harry just stared at him.
"Eh…" he muttered. "OK."
"Lucius," Bellatrix said sternly from behind him. "Snape told me to tell you you're not Jareth the Goblin King, and that you know very well that the Goblin King is David Bowie, not you." Lucius turned and fixed her with a stern eye.
"No, it only works when Snape says it." He cleared his throat dramatically, struck a pose and continued: "Now, Potter. You have 13 hours in which to solve the Labyrinth…"
Everyone groaned in exasperation.