(A/N: I realise that this chapter is absurd to the point of becoming a troll, but I promised someone I´d write it. Happy new year! Go blow an eye out with some fireworks!)
Chapter 10: All Your Death Are Belong To Lemon
It was a bright spring day, and Severus Snape was hanging around on the Hogwarts grounds, innocently spying on Harry Potter, when suddenly Lucius Malfoy came running up to him.
"Lucius," Snape said, "What are you doing here?"
"Watch this!" Lucius said, and, running down to where Harry and his friends were standing, threw something at them. With some concern for Lucius' sanity, Snape noticed it was a lemon. However, as soon as the lemon hit a confused-looking Harry on the chest, it suddenly multiplied into a whole crowd of lemons. They washed over poor Harry in an orgy of lemony aggression, and when they retreated some time later, there was nothing left except one half of his specs. Lucius turned to Snape with a smug look on his face, as Hermione and Ron were panicking over Harry´s odd fate. "See?" Lucius said.
"What was that????" Snape said, pleased but shocked.
"Death by lemons!" Lucius said.