Continuing my line of satirical one-shots... don't know why anybody hasn't thought of this before...
'Terra' Returns!
"GUYS GUYS GUYS!"
The Titans all turned their heads in the direction of Beast Boy, who had just burst into the living room of their tower. Raven had been meditating; Cyborg reading a magazine on cars; and Robin and Starfire discussing... other sorts of things. Today was a typical day in the city, with little crime reported at all. At least, not the kind that the police couldn't handle. The team couldn't help but look up from what they were doing to see what was making Beast Boy look so estatic. In fact, in many of their minds they couldn't remember a time he looked any happier.
"What is it BB? The mall's giving out free mopeds?" Cyborg asked. It was common knowledge the green changeling had a thing for mopeds, so it was the first thing that popped into his mind to ask Beast Boy about.
"NO!"
"You won a... year-long supply of tofu?" Raven was the second to try and garner a guess. Beast Boy shook his head hysterically, tears beginning to well up in his eyes.
"NO!"
"Well then, what is it, Beast Boy?" Robin queried, now interested in whatever was making his friend weep for joy. Beast Boy dried his eyes with his shirt sleeve and took in a deep breath before speaking.
"TERRA'S BACK!" he screamed, throwing his arms back as if steady himself from the ferocity of the screech.
"WHAT?!" All of the Titans yelled back. All of them dropped completely from what they were doing and ran at him.
"Are you sure, Beast Boy?"
"Oh, this is MOST glorious!"
"Ah yeah, I knew this was going to happen one of these days!"
"... Wow."
"Yep," Beast Boy said, taking a step to the side and motioning to the door behind with his arm. "I went back to her cave today to talk with her, and the statue was gone. I first thought maybe vandals or Slade had done something to her; but no; she came out from one of the corners of the place; probably trying to surprise me! And now I brought her back here, and she can be a Titan again and live with us again and eat with us again and--"
"Beast Boy, slow down a little, and just bring Terra in for us, alright?" Robin requested, his hands up for a better effect. Beast Boy nodded enthusiastically and ran out of the room, into the hallway. The Titans waited a few moments, all delighted in the news, though they couldn't help wonder how Terra had come back all of a sudden.
"You know, you would think something big would've happened when she returned, like a small earthquake of some kind." Raven pondered, looking over at the others. Cyborg shrugged, beginning to return his magazine as the wait dragged on a little more.
"The stone effects probably just wore off or something. Besides, she had control over her powers, so I don' think she'd trigger something that dangerous." Starfire nodded, with a large smile on her face.
"That does not matter now though. All that matters now is that Terra has returned to us, and we can have her as a sister again."
"So long as Beast Boy hurries up." Raven added, starting to become impatient. The wait had now begun to drag into minutes. What was the problem? Was Terra too afraid of what the Titans would think of her; had she already ran away again? Was Beast Boy trying to convince her to stay this time; and not go?
After a few more minutes Beast Boy finally came back, his left arm grabbing the right wrist of someone still taking their time to get past the door. Eventually however, Beast Boy was able to pull them in with a little coaxing, and brought the person in full view of the Titans' views.
"Herrreee's Terra!" Beast Boy exclamed, like some gameshow host on television. The Titans however, did not respond with any sort of joy at the sight of Terra in their midst. In fact, they went quite white. Starfire leaned in to Robin, hiding her mouth behind her left hand.
"Robin, Terra has... returned, yes?"
"Yeah Star, she's returned... but... how... I don't want to know."
Raven ran her hand over her own face, before returning to staring at the 'girl'. Beast Boy looked at the others, his smile dropping a bit.
"Guys, what's wrong? It's Terra!"
"Uhhh, no BB, that ain't Terra. That's..."
"Terra!"
"No Beast Boy, it's a zombie."
Beast Boy looked aghast at Raven's comment. His expressions soon turned to anger however, and he lashed out against the empath.
"WHAT?! Terra's not a zombie, Raven! It's just Terra; she's still suffering from being a rock a little."
"I hate to agree with Raven, Beast Boy, but I don't... think that's the case."
"Oh, and do you have any proof that's not 'the case'?!" Beast Boy shouted back, his anger rising. Cyborg took a step forward, looking down at the pale former friend of theirs, still clad in the Slade Battle Armor given to her before.
"Well one; her eyes are stark white."
"SO? Maybe the stone made her a little blind, for a while..."
"Okay. Two; she keeps moaning."
"She's hungry!" Beast Boy yelled, pointing to 'Terra's' stomach. The animated being slowly looked down at the extended index finger of the Titans' changeling, before looking up at the changeling himself. The moaning began to become a little louder.
"Uhh... Three; her skin is peeling off. There are bones showing here and there, and my scanners aren't picking up any life signs at all. Come on man!"
Beast Boy took his hand from 'Terra's' grasp and stuck three fingers up in the air, bending one back with each counter-point. "Well one; she could just be suffering from a lack of lotion! Two; she's obviously been starved while a rock; and three; your scanners are busted!"
"Beast Boy, that thing isn't Terra anymore, it's a ZOMBIE!" Raven shouted, emotion picking up into her voice. Beast Boy gasped at his friend's scream, taking it as a personal insult this time.
"YOU JUST HATE TERRA IS ALL, YOU ALWAYS DID! Come on Terra, we know when we're not wanted!" Beast Boy grabbed 'Terra's' left arm and started running up the stairs back to the door. The other four Titans stood in amazement as zombie Terra was dragged behind their distraught teammate,the door almost catching its foot as it closed, the slam seeming to echo Beast Boy's own anger with his friends. It took them a few minutes to gather themselves and fully realize what had just taken place.
"Guys, you're thinking what I'm thinking?" Cyborg asked, looking back and forth between his friends. The other three nodded.
"Tonight, we're going to have to do something about 'Terra'." Robin answered, slamming one gloved fist into the other. "But for now, we've got to monitor Beast Boy and make sure he doesn't get bitten."
"That's how the disease spreads, after all." Raven commented, holding her copy of the Zombie Survival Manual. Cyborg raised his index finger, looking like he had a question.
"One thing Raven, the disease has to be spread one infected person to the next, right?"
"Yeah, why--
"...Oh."
Robin turned to look out the windows of the Living Room and out onto the city beyond.
"Not good."
-Fin-
As compensation for the fic, I promise that serious Beast Boy/Terra chapter story a little sooner than I planned. Until then, thanks for reading this.