I never ate much more than soup or light, meaty meals, but this meatloaf that Cassie's mom made was rather tasty. I told her this and she blushed slightly. "You're the only person other than Cassie who likes it," she said.

"I like it!" said her father.

"Sure you do. Just like my vegetable stew, right?"

"Uh, sure!" He gave me a look of disgust when his wife turned away from him. I think he expected me to laugh or something, but I didn't. I kept my usual frown and deadly stare.

"Let me ask you something," Cassie's dad asked me seriously.

"Yes, sir."

He ignored the 'sir' and asked, "Why do you live in The Hole? Why don't you live with your family? You must have a family if you have a brother."

"My brothers are dead. My parents are too far away for me to live with."

"Oh." There was a silence. Cassie's parents are just as emotional as she is. "Cassie says your parents are dead too."

I sighed. "I meant my adopted parents are too far away."

"Why didn't you say that in the beginning?"

"Because as far as I'm concerned, they're blood related to me."

"Oh. Well, you know, if you have their phone number, you could always call from here."

I muttered, "The long distance charges would be out of this world." I stabbed my meatloaf with my fork and took some to eat. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Cassie look at me strangely.

But her mother coughed and turned the topic to something better. "There's a new addition to The Gardens. His name is Fluffy. Guess what he is. Come on, Cassie."

"Oh, well, um…" She thought about it. How ironic: Cassie loves animals more than people and yet she doesn't seem to object to a zoo. She was more unpredictable than I thought. "It would be something with fur."

"Actually, this time, it isn't. A child named him, and the first thing she thought of was Fluffy."

"No fur? Is it an animal or a mammal?"

"Mammal."

This went on for a long, boring while before Cassie guessed an orca. I had long finished my supper by that time. Then her parents began to tell me about all the other animals at The Gardens. Not that I cared, but out of respect for my Betters, I listened and nodded to everything they said.

Finally, Cassie declared she was tired. It was well past eleven o'clock by this time. I was grateful to be going to sleep.

Cassie led me back to her room, where she helped me set up a blow-up mattress on the floor. She asked if I needed blankets, but I declined. I normally get over-heated at night and toss my blankets off, anyway. Cassie said she understood, and often did the same thing.

I laid down on the mattress, arms folded behind my head, staring up at the ceiling. It was a long time before Cassie said anything, from her bed closer to the window. "What do you dream about?"

My first thought was to ignore her, but I found my lips moving before I could stop them. "My brothers. My family. My life before my Guardian ruined it."

"Were you happy? Did you smile at all?"

"All the time." I turned my head away from her. I can't believe I admitted that to someone I've known for a whole of two days. To admit such weakness to someone who at any moment could betray me.

"I bet you look like a whole different person when you smile."

I shrugged. I still wasn't looking at her, so I don't know if she acknowledged it or not. Again, I found myself speaking before I could stop myself. "My little brother used to say to me, 'Sarah, your smile always brightens your face. You're much prettier that way'. And no matter what I was feeling when he told me that, I'd smile. The world could be exploding all around me. I could have only three seconds to live, but if he told me that, I would smile."

I felt something wet fall down my face, and I brought my hand up to touch it. It was a tear. Was I crying? I haven't cried in months. I tried to stop myself and just barely succeeded. Tears are weakness. Tears are for the weak. You'll never be strong if you act like a child. Get back on your feet and hold the weapon right or I'll slice you again, you pathetic-

"Sarah, are you alright?" Cassie asked. I physically shuddered and came back to reality. I was remembering things I'd rather forget. I tried, and failed, to suppress the memories. I wiped my tears as best as I could and rolled back over to face Cassie. My look of fear still in my eye, but for some reason, when looking at Cassie, I relaxed a bit.

"I'm fine," I lied. "Remembering my little brother is hard to do, is all."

"You loved your brothers very much, didn't you?"

"More than anything. They saved my life."

"Was your Guardian going to kill you?"

"Eventually, no doubt."

She paused. Possibly she was worried her next question would be ignored. "What were they like?"

I hesitated. "Why do you ask? What difference does it make to you?"

"I never had siblings. Jake tells me what his relationship was like with his brother, but brothers are supposed to be rebellious towards each other. What would a sister feel?"

I shifted, but I did tell her. I don't know why, but something in me said that I should tell her. "I don't know what other people are like with their siblings, but I always had a wonderful relationship with my brothers. My older brother was like a father figure to me. He found me and took me away from my Guardian. At first, I resisted, but he showed me a life that was full of joy instead of fear; love, instead of hate; happiness instead of sorrow. My older brother was my mentor, my strength, my shoulder to cry on.

"He took me home and did his best to teach me things that were good, instead of evil. Of course, there were things I retained. I was raised by my Guardian; of course old habits die hard. But for the most part, my brother was successful in making me beneficial to society, instead of evil."

"Did your Guardian raise you to destroy?"

"He tried. He succeeded for a while. My brother was great, though. We would go for long walks and just talk about things. When I was with him, there was no fear, or sadness. I felt peace and safety with him. I was grateful for him and what he did for me. I realized, after a while, that perhaps Fate didn't hate me after all."

Cassie smiled at that. I did believe in Fate once. "What about your little brother?"

"He's only younger than me by a few months. Or perhaps he was slightly older than me. I can't remember. I never thought of him as my little brother, anyway. He was my best friend." More liquid seeped out of my eyes, but this time, I let it come. "My older brother was my mentor, but my little brother was my friend. We would do everything together. We walked, we talked, and we played games and sports and acted like kids normally do. I loved him with all my heart, and I would gladly have given my life to spare his. Unfortunately, Fate doesn't like me that much."

"How did they die?"

"How do you think?" My stern eyes showed my answer.

"Your Guardian." She looked as depressed as I felt.

"I will kill him one day, I promise you that. I will murder the bastard for killing my older brother. But I will torture him to an inch of his life first and make whatever shred of dignity he has evaporate for murdering my little brother. He may have made me who I am now, but my brothers gave me a conscious and a life. Using those, I will kill that son of a bitch."

The silence that followed was one such that helped me to calm down. Cassie must have known I needed to calm down. She was emotional, but at least she was compassionate. I was grateful for this.

"Maybe we should go to sleep now. My parents would flip if they found we were still awake."

"As you wish." I rolled over again, away from her, and closed my eyes. It was still a few hours before I fell asleep. Cassie was already snoring silently before I was.

I laid out my most inner feelings to her. I just hoped to whoever above that was listening that she wouldn't betray me…

The next morning, I woke up how I usually do: in a cold sweat. I'm glad I didn't have blankets. Cassie was already awake. "Good morning," she said, and stretched. "Let's grab some breakfast and work in the barn for a bit. After that, we can go to the mall if you want."

"Sure," I said simply. Cassie over-exaggerated her surprise.

"Wow, no objection or retort? I think our friendship is finally taking off."

"It's not going anywhere. I just have nothing better to do today." Cassie laughed and hopped out of her bed.

"I'm going to have a shower first. I'll meet you downstairs." She grabbed a towel and headed off to the bathroom. I obeyed her and went downstairs to the kitchen. Her mother was already there.

"Good morning! What would you like for breakfast?" she asked.

"I never gave it much thought."

Her father entered the kitchen and started opening cupboards. "Make her bacon and eggs. A growing girl needs her iron."

"She doesn't need that much grease fat this early in the morning."

"How 'bout steak?" He grinned at his wife.

"How 'bout you get out of this kitchen?" She waved him away and took some eggs out of the fridge. Cassie's father grabbed and apple and scampered out of the kitchen. Cassie's mom, humming a tune, cracked an egg over a frying pan and I heard it sizzle.

It was such a normal morning. It made me homesick. I remember when my mother used to make me breakfast. She had to learn to cook a special diet for me because none of my other family members enjoyed the same foods as I did. She never hummed a tune, though. I wonder why not?

Cassie's mom set a plate of eggs and bacon on the table for me. I thanked her and sat to eat. She also poured me some orange juice and put a dash of salt on my eggs. "Can I get you anything else?"

"No, ma'am, thank you."

"I told you not to call me that."

"Sorry, ma'am."

She smiled sweetly at me and went back into the living room. Cassie came downstairs shortly thereafter and sat to eat her own plate of food her mother pre-set for her. We ate in silence.

After breakfast, we went out to the barn. "I hope you're well-fed. We need to carry some hay bushels out to the stalls. The horses need their feed."

"Okay." We hoisted three or four bushels, and Cassie spread out the feed one stack at a time. There were two horses that came over for food, and they easily dwarfed Cassie, but she was so unafraid with these huge beasts. In fact, I would bet that she could walk into a pack of hungry wolves without fear. I respected and admired her for this.

After the feed, she came back over the fence and sat on the ground next to me. "It's so nice having help. It would have been difficult carrying those bushels by myself."

"No problem."

We sat in silence for a while, as Cassie took off her heavy gloves. Her trousers were already covered in stains and we barely did anything in the barn. "Can I ask you a question?"

"You've been doing that ever since we met," I pointed out, "why stop now?"

She smiled. "I was just wondering what you were dreaming about last night?"

I looked at her. "Why do you ask?"

"You kept begging someone not to leave you alone. That you were lost and scared."

I sighed. I have that dream all the time. "The day I found out about my brothers, I begged them to come back. As if my pleading could bring them back from the dead, or something."

"How did you find out?"

"I watched my Guardian kill my older brother, but I did nothing to stop him. If I had tried, I would have died. And my brother would never have forgiven me if I got killed in a foolish attempt to save him." I sighed. "As for my little brother, well, I didn't actually see him get killed, but I know my Guardian did it. I saw -" I stopped.

"Saw what?"

"Nothing. Never mind." I almost told her too much. What was wrong with me? I don't want to tell her anything more about my life or my family. I stood up. "Are we going to the mall or what?"

"I was hoping to do that later. I want to talk to you about something."

"About me?" I groaned.

"No; about me."

I turned to look at her curiously. She stood up and avoided my gaze for the longest time. When she did look at me, I saw that she was frightened about something. About what she was going to tell me? Possibly. Whatever it was, I figured it was serious and possibly dangerous. I would not disrespect her by ignoring her.

"Let's talk over by the forest, okay?" She led me to a trail behind her barn. We walked for a half hour before she stopped and suggested I sit on the log we came by. I obeyed. She sat down beside me and neither of us looked at each other.

It was a while before she said anything. I hoped she would hurry; the sound of birds chirping was annoying me. "I'm not who I appear," she said, finally.

I said nothing. I could have told her that just by looking at her. There were times she acted like a normal kid, but I knew she had some deep, down secret. I could tell by how she avoided the gazes of many people. Like she should have with me, but didn't.

"You have to promise me not to tell Jake or Rachel or Marco any of this. They would be very cross with me." I thought for a while. So they were in on it, too? I should have known. They were always together and they seemed most comfortable when with each other, and never with others. Eventually, I found myself agreeing. And I am bound by my word.

"Um… Where do I start?" She laughed slightly.

"The beginning."

"I'm afraid the beginning is rather complicated." She took a deep breath and continued. She looked so scared. "I don't know why I trust you, but I do. I feel I can tell you this without any bad repercussions. Jake, Rachel, Marco and I are, well, defending the world against alien invaders."

She blushed and laughed. I guess she thought I would find it all a joke. Like I would call her insane, or that she has an active imagination.

But instead, against my will, I found myself saying, "We're probably fighting the same enemy, then."

She stopped laughing and finally looked me in the eye. We both saw the same thing: neither of us were joking. "You're what?" she whispered.

"Possibly for different reasons, though. I have a personal vendetta against just one. You and your friends are probably fighting for other reasons."

"But, how can you? No way." She muttered on like that for a while. When she realized she was blubbering, she stopped. She had to clear her throat a few times before she could continue. "How did you know about them?"

"How did I know?" I scoffed. My frown deepened. My scowl came back harder. This happens whenever I speak of my Guardian. "They murdered my birth parents, they raised me in Hell, and they murdered my precious brothers… I've known them all my life."

"Your… Your Guardian was a… Was a…?"

"Yeerk? Yes."

The silence that followed was the worst I've ever had with anyone. It was so bad that all I could hear was the silence. All other sounds were dead. "Are you human?" she asked me finally. It was a peculiar question, but I guess I understood why she asked it.

"Yes. Born as a human, raised as a Yeerk, but I will die an Andalite."

"Then your adopted family are -!"

"Andalites, yes."

"Oh, my God." She looked at me with the biggest eyes I ever saw. But I couldn't make out the expression. Was she scared? Worried? Confused? Or possibly all at once. "You were raised by Yeerks and you're still alive?"

I scoffed. "That's what Aximili said when I told him that."

She raised an eyebrow. "Who?"

"Aximili. My brother."

"Your brother?" She looked at me with a mix of confusion and some other expression I couldn't put my finger on.

"His older brother's name was Elfangor. I bet you've heard of him; everyone else has."

She smiled sadly, lowering her head. "Yeah, I've heard of him. A few months ago, we all took a short cut through an abandoned construction site and found a dying Andalite prince who gave us the power to morph and told us of the Yeerk invasion. We've been fighting them ever since." I saw her blink in confusion before asking, "Wait; if you're saying Elfangor was your brother, and your Guardian killed your brothers, then does that mean that your Guardian is Visser Three?"

"Yes." She brought her hands to her mouth and covered it. I always assumed when people did that it was out of respect or sadness or possibly both. There was nothing to be sad about and definitely nothing to respect. I had no control over my life at that time. Fate played the cards and I had no choice but to accept them. "Perhaps I should explain more."

"That would be helpful," she replied, still looking at me sympathetically.

I sighed. "I don't remember a great deal of my life before I was two and I don't remember much of the day it happened, either. The earliest memory I have is being thrown on a cold, hard deck and being told to stop crying. From then on, I remember being trained for three years or so. I resisted so much at first, and was greeted with bruises, scars, broken bones, et cetera. After a while, I realized that if I did what I was told, I wouldn't receive punishment.

"By the time I was around five, I was made a general in Visser Three's army. And the worst part is that I truly believed what he always told me was right: we were purging the galaxy of undesirables: peoples who would ruin the balance of life."

"You were only five when you did this?" Cassie was so shocked. I can't say I blamed her. I would be shocked, too, if I were in her position. How could a five year old child commit such acts of brutality? But it was true. Every word of it.

"I was also five when he finally named me, too. Up until then I was named Human. Ever since he christened me his general, he called me Sarah." I scoffed. "Ironic, isn't it, that a Yeerk would give me a human name? But of course, 'Sarah' is only a partial part of the name. The full version of it is much longer."

"What is it?"

"For you to pronounce it, I would have to rip out your tongue." Cassie rubbed her throat involuntarily. "'Sarah' means 'General' in Yeerkish. My Guardian never did have an imagination."

"But how could you lead armies at such a young age? Your body isn't even developed at that stage of life!"

"It is if you are raised by Yeerks."

"Oh."

I continued my story. I told her how I was ten when my brother found me. I was leading the attack on Caarn, and he was leading the Andalite ground troops against us. I told Cassie that I fought Elfangor until he finally knocked me out and took me to his ship. I awoke in a cell where Elfangor was watching over me. He told me he had to keep me locked up for three days to prove I wasn't a Yeerk.

He also told me stories. He told me about his life back home, his family, his favourite places to run and so on. My eyes glazed over as I remembered his stories. I tried my best to tell them to Cassie exactly the same way, but I supposed she'd have to have been there to understand fully. He told me stories for the whole of three days, never leaving my side for an instant.

On the third day, he told me about the true side of the Yeerks. He told me how evil they were and how Visser Three was the worst of them all. I never saw them as such until my brother put it all into perspective for me. I realized how I should have seen it all, and how much of a monster I was. So I cried.

He came into my cell to allow me to cry on his chest. I told Cassie of the comfort I felt there. I remember, faintly, of him telling me that everything would be alright and that he would take care of me. I was like that for many hours.

When I finally led up on my tears, Elfangor took me to the Dome part of the ship. I told Cassie of what it was like to be there: the trees, the grass, the plains that went on for miles and miles. Other Andalites would scorn me, believing I was a Yeerk, but my brother would turn them away. Only one Andalite came up to me as an equal, and that was my little brother.

I told Cassie how comfortable I felt with him. How the universe seemed less evil when he was near. He told me stories and we'd play sports, or I'd just run along side him. He taught me many things about his people and many legends his people had. After a week, I considered him my best friend. When I told him that, I smiled for the first time in my life. It felt slightly weird at first, but then was so natural. He said to me, 'Sarah, your smile brightens your face. You're much prettier that way'.

"After he told me that," I said, "I knew we'd always be together. I told him I'd always protect him and let no harm come to him, and he made a similar promise." I scoffed, trying my hardest not to allow my tears to cloud my vision. "Some promise that turned out to be."

"It sounds like you had a wonderful relationship with your brothers," Cassie said. She was getting way too into my story. She was hanging onto my every word. I was sure she would have been bored by now, but she was so intent.

"We were no different from other siblings. We talked, played, stayed up late at night, crawling back home in the early morning, enraging our father… Of course, Elfangor was far too busy to do any of that. Or perhaps he was just trying to avoid trouble? He and Father had a wonderful relationship."

"I don't have any siblings," Cassie said. "And Jake and Tom don't act like that at all." We sat in silence for a while, allowing what was spoken to settle in. Finally, Cassie asked the big question: "What happened when you reached Earth?"

I sighed. "There's not much to tell about that. We underestimated the Yeerks and missed the Blade Ship behind Earth's moon. When the battle ensued, I ignored Elfangor's order to stay behind on the ship and followed him onto the escape pod. We were naturally shot down. Elfangor ordered me to leave the pod in a bird morph once we entered the atmosphere. He actually had to push me out before I complied.

"For about an hour, I flew around. I never saw any of you, though. But then, you could have been hiding at that time, or already gone. After all, Visser Three had landed by the time I returned to the crash site. He was standing over my brother when I arrived. I had the urge to kill him, but Elfangor would never have forgiven me if I got myself killed in a vain attempt to rescue him."

"We were there," Cassie muttered. "We watched him get eaten, too. We didn't leave until after the deed was done."

Both our heads were lowered in respect. "I watched every bit of it as well. I also watched as the Dome ship streaked across the sky, burning in the atmosphere, taking my little brother down beyond the horizon. In a matter of hours, Visser Three killed the two most important people to me. I swore I'd kill him. When the area was cleared, I demorphed and went up to where my brother was murdered. Some of his blood was still there. I wept for a long time, begging him not to leave me alone. When it started raining, it washed away his blood and seemed to wash my pain away, as well. After gathering my strength, I wandered the streets, gathering information on the Yeerk invasion of Earth, but mostly just reacquainting myself with human culture.

"After a few months, I decided I needed to get more organized, so I hung outside the mall until very late, or very early, and allowed myself to be seen by a Cop. He took me to The Hole and I asked the old lady to enrol me in school.

"And that's where I met you, Cassie," I finished. My throat was getting very sore at this point. "Everything is making less sense now, but I have my duties. I don't know what you plan on doing, but my goal is clear. And if we are on the same side, I will fight with you, but that of course depends on your other friends."

I never talked so much before in my life. Everything I am was laid out there. All Cassie had to do now was leave the forest and tell my story to everyone.

But she didn't. She never left my side. She listened to my story with much understanding. I glanced at Cassie, but she turned away. My life story must not have been easy to hear. She probably realized that my life really was worse than anything she could have imagined. When I was five, I led armies against worlds. At that time, Cassie was probably still drinking out of a sippy cup, throwing tantrums and barely able to walk properly. I was torturing races for information. I was a horrible person. No wonder no one trusted me.

Cassie didn't run from me, though. I was confused by that. I asked her, "Why are you still here? I'm a menace."

"You're my friend. No matter what happened in your past, you're my friend now and we'll find a way to make it better together."

"Thank you," I said, sincerely.

Suddenly, the chirping birds weren't so annoying anymore. "Hey, can you go wait in the barn for a little while?" Cassie asked. "I'm going to get Jake and the others."

"They won't accept me."

"They trust me, and I trust you. They will learn to accept you."

"Cassie, I'm not here to make friends. I just want to kill my Guardian and get it over with."

"Not until we have a proper introduction. Please?"

I don't remember me ever saying no to her and her letting me stick to it. Therefore, I said, "Fine."

"Good. I'll be back in less than and hour, I promise." So I went back to her barn where I sat on a hay stack and waited for her to return…