"We ought to have nicknames," James announced one night as he burst through the door of the dormitory. Sirius was helping me with my Potions homework, while Peter sat nearby and got chocolate stains all over his Herbology book.
"Hullo," I said simply. Sirius did a backwards somersault off the back of my bed and landed at James's feet before greeting him. Peter was scampering to hide his chocolate frog wrappers, completely forgoing proper greetings.
James stepped over Sirius, laughed, and took his previously occupied spot on my bed. "We ought to have nicknames," he repeated, "I mean, doesn't that sound like a good idea? I think it does. Oy, Sirius!" Sirius, in revenge for having his spot stolen, seemed to think it was a good idea to use James's hair as an aid for standing up. They started to tussle, and in the end Peter got the spot.
Once who was sitting where was sorted out, James brought the conversation back to the topic at hand, "So. Nicknames." We argued for a few minutes before having a vote, and it ended up being three versus one for nicknames. I thought it was a perfectly ridiculous idea, but I thought that of a lot of things.
It is hard to remember who said what during the ensuing conversations, but the dialogue was as follows.
"I want to be nicknamed first." "Oh dear." "Fluffy? Pooch? Max? You know, my uncle once had a dog and he named it Max. He had to get rid of it though, because it, you know, all over the carpet." "Big Ears? Black Beard?" "I do like the sound of Black Beard." "Padfoot? Because, you know, dog's feet-" "Padfoot. It has a nice ring to it." "I agree. Not bad, Remus." "It sounds kind of girly to me." "Oh, be quiet Peter, it sounds better than Max." "Padfoot it is, then."
"Me next." "Alright." "Ratfoot? No, I'm joking. Rat. Rat. Rat. Mouse? Rat…" "Tiny? Small? Wait, that might be hard to explain if someone heard us calling you that." "No it wouldn't, we could just tell them he had a really tiny-" "Sirius!" "Sorry, sorry." "Rattail?" "Better, but it still sounds a little weird." "Mousetail? Wormtail? It does kind of look like a worm." "Wow, you're right." "Wait, I change my mind. That also sounds like I have a small-" "Sorry, Peter, you're stuck with it now." "Yup. Sorry."
"I came up with the idea, so I should go next." "Be my guest." "Staggy? Stick Brain?" "Stick Brain. Let's go with that." "Don't tell me you're getting bored already, Sirius." "Sorry, James. You know, attention span of a dog and so on." "I must admit that Stick Brain does suit you." "Don't encourage him, Remus." "Oh, Remus, encourage me harder!" "Now look what you've done!" "Sorry, I take it back." "Prongy?" "…Not bad. But maybe Prongs?" "No objections here." "Good. One left."
"I never agreed to this." "Three versus one, you're out of luck." "Whatever you get, I bet it'll be better than Wormtail." "I suppose." "Wolftooth?" "No." "Oh, don't be such a stick in the mud." "That doesn't even make sense." "Because everything he usually says makes so much sense…" "Wolfy?" "Sounds tacky." "Maybe something to do with the moon?" "Let's keep it simple, then. Moony." "Moony." "Not bad, huh?" "It's not horrible." "That's a good enough answer for me."
And that was that. I always thought it was a bit silly that we came up with them like that, but I liked having a nickname too much to complain. My parents called me Remus, my teachers called me Remus, and everyone else called me Remus. But I never felt like I could be myself around other people as much as I could around the pack, as stupid as that sounds, so it felt proper that I was called something else.