Disclaimer: I don't own KH. I don't own Sora or Axel. Got it memorized.
Comments: This is also a Sora chapter. It ells some about the past, so it may be a little slow in places. Captn' Waffle and ZSAngel thank you for your reviews, sorry to keep you waiting. TheAkatsukiiscoming you find out more about that person in this chapter, but not his name. I am not sure if I will name him or not. If he is a KH person he could be a couple of people. Also there is some Axel/Sora, possible other temporary coupling as well, but this is a Riku/ Sora story.
Chapter 2 Two Years
Sora rubbed his eyes, trying to wake up. He glanced around the room that had become darker in the time that he had been asleep. He had fallen asleep after having his fun with Axel. Sex always made him tired. A glance at the clock beside the bed told him it was after 8:00. He had not planned on sleeping that long. But it was fine, his mother would not be home for a while. Sora looked around and noticed that Axel was not in the room.
As he sat up and pushed his legs off of the bed, Sora cringed. Pain started shotting up his backside. Axel had been rough with him. Sora hadn't minded though. He was use to Axel's roughness. He held back a laugh as the thought of Axel being a gentle lover went through his head. He just could not see that. Axel wasn't always as rough as he had been earlier, but he was never what Sora would call gentle. It was fine though, Sora could take it. He would be sore for a little while, but the pain would not last.
Sora walked around the room gathering up his discarded clothes, only stopping when he heard the door. Axel peeked around the slightly open door looking for Sora. Sora could tell Axel was trying to be quiet in case he was still asleep.
"You're finally awake. I was beginning to think you were planning on staying the night here." Axel said as he fully walked into the room. He made his way over to lean on the dresser, never taking his eyes off Sora.
"As much as you would probably like it if I did stay the night, no, I'm not going to. I didn't sleep too good last night, so I guess I was pretty tired." Sora told him. He continued the search for his clothes. Axel had a habit of throwing them anywhere while he was removing them. Sora was just as bad with Axel's clothes so he couldn't really complain.
"What makes you think I would like it?" Axel asked, knowing very well he would.
"Then you would be able to molest me all night long." Sora stopped what he was doing to glance over at Axel, as if he was daring him to argue with him.
"Sounds fun. Let's go back to bed. You still look tired." Axel proceed to make his way over to Sora. Sora in turn made his way towards the door, having finally found the rest of his clothes.
"Don't think so, you horny bastard." Sora said. Axel laughed.
"Like you have a lot of room to talk. Need I remind you who seemed to be in a big hurry to get some when he got here."
Sora shrugged, "So, that doesn't mean I'm horny now."
Axel looked at Sora standing in the doorway, naked, clothes in his hands. They both knew Axel had been joking around about going back to bed.
"Take a shower, I know you want to. When you get done come to the kitchen. I'm making something to eat. You're hungry, right?"
Sora nodded. Axel pushed past him, making his way back to the kitchen. He didn't stop to give Sora a kiss along the way, and Sora had not expected him to. They were not together, like a couple. Their relationship, at best, could be described as friends with benefits. Friends might have been pushing it.
For the second time that day, Sora stood under the hot water. He let it pour over his body, willing it to take the pain with it down the drain. Wishing that the harsh memories of his past could disappear just as easily as the suds of soap that coated him. But they wouldn't. It wasn't that easy. It could never be that easy. Two years of unsuccessful therapy had told him that.
It had been two years since his life had changed. Two years since the events that haunted his sleep even now had happened. At that time he had been that innocent, trusting boy that everyone still thinks he is. Naïve to the ways of the world around him. Sora had discovered then, when he was 15, that he liked other guys. He didn't believe himself to be gay, but bi. Because of his constant struggles with math his parents, his dad was still with them at the time, had hired a private tutor for him.
The tutor was a high school senior. A male with long silver hair. Sora has since blocked his name from his memory. In the time they spent together, Sora had grown to trust and respect him. Why wouldn't he? The young man was so patient and showed Sora care and concern. Like he truly wanted Sora to understand what he was teaching him and that it wasn't just because he was being paid. The feelings eventually turned into a small crush. One that Sora never had any intentions of revealing.
Things had gone quite well at first. Sora's math grade was improving and he seemed to be understanding what he was learning. But then one day, he had accidentally blushed when his hand and his tutor's had brushed against each other. The blush did not go unnoticed by the other. Two days later, on his day to go to his tutor's house, was when his world came crashing down. Afterwards, his tutor disappeared, escaping punishment. The local police were still "looking into leads on his whereabouts". Nothing ever came from those leads though. Sora had long since started doubting that anything ever would.
Sora finished up in the shower. He grabbed the towel Axel had left for him and dried off. As he did he looked at himself in the mirror. The image he saw was clouded from the steam of the shower. He didn't need to see though. He knew Axel didn't leave any marks, he never did. And he was almost afraid to see himself. Afraid to see the person he had become. The real him he hid behind a secure mask. He knew if the mask ever fell only Axel would stay with him. His friends hated the type of person he really was. They would never accept this side of him. Then he would be all alone. And he didn't want that. He feared that more than anything. So he kept the mask in place, continuing to pretend to be the same as he was before his innocence had been stolen.
Sora's stomach made a loud sound bringing him back to reality. He quickly dressed and made his way to the kitchen where the smell of sausages and waffles invaded his nose. Sora had long ago figured out that Axel loved breakfast foods and that was almost all he cooked. He ate other foods, just didn't normally cook other foods. So it was no surprise to see him cooking waffles this late in the evening.
"Smells good." Sora said as he grabbed a sausage from the plate. Axel handed him an empty plate which Sora quickly filled up with half the food. Axel knew Sora had a big appetite, he did as well, so he always made a lot when he knew Sora was eating with him. After piling the waffles onto his plate Sora covered them in butter and then proceed to drown them in syrup.
Axel finished cooking the last waffle and piled up the food Sora had left for him. He also drowned his in butter and syrup. The two ate in silence for a while, before Axel decided to ask what had been on his mind most of the day.
"Did your headache go away?"
Sora stopped eating and looked at Axel. Wondering at first what he was talking about, then he remembered earlier that day. He went back to his food before answering the question.
"Yeah, thanks for that."
"No problem. Was it another nightmare?" Axel asked. Sora was quiet for a moment. He hated to talk about the nightmares and Axel knew it. Sora nodded in response, hoping that would be enough to end the conversation. But Axel was not finished.
"How long have you been having them this time?" Axel demanded. Sora looked up in surprise. He had not expected that tone from him.
"I don't know, about a week I guess." Sora answered, shrugging his shoulders like it was no big deal.
"Have you talked to your mom about it?"
"Hell no. Why would I do that?" Sora asked, his voice getting louder as anger started to overcome him.
"Maybe you should." Axel stated. He knew that Sora was getting angry, but he wasn't going to back off. The truth was, Axel was worried about him. He wasn't about to admit it, doing so would be saying he cared and he wasn't going to admit that, even it it was true. Axel loved to be considered an asshole by those around him. He loved the look of fear on their face if he looked at them a certain way. It didn't stop him from getting people into bed either, or anyplace else he could get them. At school he could get away with anything because everyone, including the teachers, was too scared of him to do anything. Everyone except Sora. Only Sora knew he wasn't as bad as everyone thought he was.
The two had become friends after what had happened to Sora. He had found him cut up and crying the day that it had happened. Axel did not live that far from the tutor that had done it. At first he was going to ignore the crying heap in front of him, but something about the pain in the cry wouldn't let him. The painful cry was heart wrenching. It ran so deep through him that he felt he could feel the pain that the other was suffering. He had recognized Sora right away, having known him for several years already. They had never been friends. No, Sora was too afraid of him for them to be friends. He didn't care though, he couldn't stand Sora's type. He was too happy all of the time. Always had a smile on his face, a child like innocence in his laugh and thought the best of just about everyone. One would think seeing the type he hated the most in front of him crying with such pain in his voice would make him happy. But it hadn't and he didn't know why.
Axel had walked over to the crying heap on the ground in front of him and knelt down. He had noticed the look of fear in the other's eyes as he looked over to him. Then Axel did something he just didn't do, he smiled softly. It had been a reassuring smile to let the other know he wasn't going to hurt him. As if he had sensed he was safe, the fear had slightly faded and Sora leaned into Axel and cried harder. Axel had attempted to soothe him and ran his hands over Sora's hair. When Sora had quieted down a little Axel gathered him up in his arms and took him to his, Axel's, house.
Axel had considered treating the wounds that covered him, but not knowing what had happened he had decided against it. He had known he may need to call the police and they should see him as he was. It took a little time until he had finally been able to get Sora calmed down enough to tell him what had happened. Sora only managed to get bits and pieces out, but it had been enough. Axel told Sora to stay there and rest. He called the police and once he was sure they were on their way he left the house. He hadn't understood it, but what Sora had told him made his blood boil as it never had before. He had known the guy Sora mentioned. By the time he got to his house it was too late. The guy had already left. Axel could tell he wasn't planning on coming back either. His closet was empty. His bedroom practically empty except for the furniture and the blood on the floor. Sora's blood.
Hearing sirens, Axel had raced back to his house. He was stopped by a cop who asked him to explain what had happen. He told him about finding Sora and what Sora had told him. The cop had eyed him like he was a suspect, but thanked him and told him not to leave town in case they had more questions for him. Axel had watched as Sora was put into an Ambulance to be taken to the hospital. He hadn't know what had possessed him to do so, but the next day he went to visit Sora there. And the two had been friends ever since. Although, no one knew about their friendship. They both had reputations to protect. Axel didn't want anyone to change their opinion of him. He liked the hold he had over them far too much. And Sora didn't want to lose his friends. So they kept everything a secret.
"Maybe I should? She doesn't want to hear it. That is why she sends me to therapy, so she doesn't have to hear anything about what happened." Sora yelled.
"She sends you to therapy because she is trying to help you. She just doesn't know how to help you herself. You should talk to her about the nightmares and the headaches."
"No way. She doesn't need to know anything. She doesn't want to know anything. She can pretend that everything is just peachy if she doesn't know anything. She can pretend that her son isn't some screwed up kid who can't seemed to get over what happened to him two fucking years ago." Sora continued. His anger was getting the best of him and he knew it, but he didn't care. Didn't his doctor always tell him he held too much inside? That he needed to open up and get it out. So that is what he was doing.
"Sora, I'm sure that isn't the way it is. You make it sound like she doesn't care about you. But she does. And if the nightmares are so bad that they cause headaches that you need painkillers for, she should know." Axel said, attempting to calm the brunet down.
"What do you know? You don't know anything. Mind your own business. I don't need your fake concern. You don't really give a damn about me as long as you can screw me. So just shut up and butt out." Sora yelled. He quickly got up from the table and left the house, slamming the door on his way out.
Sora knew what he said about Axel wasn't the truth. He knew Axel did care about him. Axel was trying to help him. But he didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to talk about telling his mom his problems. Every time the subject of that came up Sora exploded. Just like he had just done. He also knew that Axel would not take to heart what he had said. Tomorrow things would be like they always were between the two, like his outburst had never happened. If that wasn't the case Axel would have stopped talking to him long ago. This was not the first time something like this had happened.
Sora walked to his house. His mood couldn't get much worse. When he was like this he some times wondered what it would be like to cut himself. He had never done it and probably never would, but he had heard of people that did. So he couldn't help but wonder. He wasn't suicidal thought. Not that one would have to be to be a cutter. He already had scars on his body from where that guy had cut him, trying to get him to cry out. In the end Sora never had. He hadn't cried until he had gotten away from there. And then he had been unable to stop the tears that had been wanting to fall the whole time. Which is when Axel had found him.
He had been scared when Axel had approached him. He had every reason to be. After what had just happen to him and the stories he had heard about Axel it was expected. But that small smile Axel had shown him, had changed things. He had still been slightly afraid of him, but more afraid that Axel would walk off leaving him there alone. Maybe this is when he fear of being left alone had started. It wasn't that he could not be alone at all. His fear was that everyone would leave him, shutting him out of their lives not wanting anything to do with him. Then he would truly be alone. And he was afraid that if that happened he would break even more than he already had. Then he probably would be suicidal.
It was that fear that led him to sleep and continue to sleep with Axel. He was afraid, although he knew the fear was unwarranted, that Axel would completely leave him if he didn't. But he knew that would not happen, Axel wouldn't leave him for refusing to have sex with him. Even still he couldn't help the fear. More than anyone, he did not want to lose Axel. Axel was the only one that knew what he was going through. The only one that understood his suffering and was there for him to help him through it. And perhaps the only one that would really accept the person he had become.
Sora cared about his other friends and didn't want to lose them. But they didn't know. He had never told them about what had happened to him. He had been to afraid that they would be too disgusted with him, even thought he had done nothing to warrant what happened. Then they would shun him. If that didn't happen then they would always be so worried about him and start treating him like a little kid. He didn't want that either. He just wanted things to stay the way they were. At least that had been what he wanted.
Lately, though, things had changed. Sora had become restless. Maybe it was the nightmares and him wanted to just forget everything that had happened two years ago. Maybe he was looking for things to take his mind off of it. Perhaps that was the real reason he had had sex with Axel in the first place. It was an escape. Only a temporary one, but for a short while he could completely focus his thoughts on something else. Allowing a small relief. Like a breath of fresh air. He could forget the pain in his heart and just relish in the pain and pleasure that his body was feeling.
Like a drug that he had become addicted to, this too was losing it's effect. He wondered if he was starting to become immune to the physical feelings that Axel gave him. He would probably still feel them, but would it be enough to hold back his other pain. He needed more. Something else to occupy his mind with. The feeling made him feel like a druggie that now needed a harder drug to get his high. A harder drug to release his pain. To free him before it sent him crashing back down.
Sora looked up, realizing he had reached his house. As lost in thought as he had been it was amazing he hadn't ended up somewhere else. He slowly made his way up to the front door and unlocked it. It was still a couple of hours before his mom would get home and Sora would probably be fast asleep by then. That was usually how it worked out. He liked it that way. Then he didn't have to deal with her when she was in one of her 'I hate all men, including you' moods.
Sora made his way up to his bedroom. He changed for bed then climbed in, burying himself in the safety of his covers. Not caring that he still had homework to do. Not caring that it was not even 10:00. He just wanted to sleep. Push the real world away and hope that the world of his dreams would be a good one tonight.
TBC
This chapter was a pain to write, writing a story in past tense then adding in something that happened before the story. Makes me have to use the word had a lot. Hope that that part wasn't confusing. I think this chapter does a pretty good job of showing just how screwed up Sora is. Maybe a little slow, but I need to set things up for the future. Next chapter will be a Riku chapter. Can't have a Riku/Sora story with no Riku. Until then, please review I would love to hear what people think so far.