Not So Important Missions
Chapter 1
By Li Kenta
******
And so the warriors that were chosen by the cosmic force known as fate or in our case my insanity, boredom and gigantic ego, begin their return to the temple in which they are bond forever...
...or at least until I get bored.
"Well, that was something I don't want to do again." Hwang stated out of the blue.
"No argument there." Seung Mina commented.
"By the way," Hwang started. "We heard you girls shriek in the cave what was that all about?"
"Oh, uh, we saw a...mouse." The once proud Korean girl admitted sheepishly.
Behind them Kilik swore under his breath and handed the agreed amount to the gleeful Mitsurugi, who was all too happy to take the money of his hands. Finally after another day's travel, a squirrel hunt, a nudist camp and somehow being forced into slave labor by Starbucks, they made to the bane of their existence...my house?!
"Mitsurugi, you were supposed to find the temple!" Taki complained.
"I know, but I feel the person that forced us into this is in there." Mitsurugi responded seriously.
The all looked toward the house not a single sound was heard except for the furious typing of a keyboard, the person doing the typing was in fact a young man with long blonde hair, glasses perched on his nose, and what resembled peach fuzz under his nose. It was at this point the rest of the group burst out laughing, rolling on the ground holding their sides.
"God damn that's stupid!" Kilik gasped between laughs.
"Yeah, Mitsurugi, to think some sixteen year-old is control every aspect of our lives, that's completely ridiculous!" Xianghua added.
...poor, poor misguided idiots, I in fact AM controlling every aspect of their waking and sometimes sleeping lives, if only they listened to Mitsurugi, oh well, sucks for them. Okay, after they stopped laughing and began to breath again they headed in the right direction, all the while Mitsurugi brought up the rear, still convinced he was right...well he was but no one believed him. Anyway, they finally reached the temple, looking as regal as ever, but to them it's like High School, a vicious, life-sucking bitch from which there is no escape.
"Come on," Kilik said to the group. "Let's go."
The rest of party nodded and approached the gate, Kilik reached for the handle pushed forward and...stood still, the gate wasn't moving.
"Oh shit!" exclaimed Hwang. "Don't tell me it's locked.'
"Looks that way..." Kilik responded as he massaged his forehead, trying to think of how many more ways they could get screwed over.
"We'll need to find a way over the wall." Xianghua suggested.
"Maybe, Taki can get over it!" Seung Mina recommended.
"She could, the walls aren't that high." Mitsurugi said putting his hand on the smooth surface of the wall, unfortunately when he did two hundred thousand volts electrocuted him, dropping him instantly that's right, samurai, extra crispy...what? I couldn't leave the thing unguarded could I?
"Guess that's not an option anymore." Taki stated, looking at the twitching form of Mitsurugi.
"Damn, looks like we'll have to look around." Kilik informed the non-fried members of the group.
"Right, let's split up into three groups, and meet back say, half an hour." Seung Mina added.
With that our heroes split up Hwang going with Seung Mina, Xianghua following Kilik and Taki staying with the charred Mitsurugi, who at this point is still unconscious.
******
Hwang watched Seung Mina closely, looking for any sign that would lead to her taking a chance at running off. His cool, precise eyes scanned his surroundings for a split second, checking for anything dangerous, before returning to the woman in front of him.
"Like what you see?" Seung Mina asked, a smirk on her lips.
"About as much as I like eating mud."
The swift and cruel reply made the girl in front of him turn away, he sighed quietly almost wishing he could take it back, but he couldn't let her know his attraction to her. Ever since Voldo's money pit, seeing her pinned down by that mad man, he had become a bit protective of her, not that it was wrong, she was attractive, any man would want her, her face, her laugh, her fiery personality, her beautiful body...
CRASH
Unfortunately, I am the master of ruining things, and the way I ruined this is having Hwang walk into a tree, seeing he was so deep in thought he wasn't paying any attention to where he going.
"Are you okay?" Seung Mina asked running up beside the downed Korean soldier.
"Of course." Hwang shot back, jumping up, but unfortunately, there was a low branch right where Hwang's thick, thick head was intending to go.
With a loud crack the branch broke off completely, and although our friends head is harder then stone, he still took some damage. Stumbling around for a little while he finally steadied himself, by stepping in a nest full of bird eggs, this nest sadly was the nest of a blue jay, which as we know is the most protective of all birds, and seeing as its eggs were completely smashed, it was understandable that it was a little peeved. Seung Mina just watched silently as Hwang ran back and forth like an idiot, flailing his arms wildly in hopes of getting the bird to leave, while the bird intent on getting revenge, continued to peck and claw at his face.
"Need some help now?" Seung Mina inquired, holding back a smirk that was trying to force its way onto her features.
"No!" He yelled back, just as the bird pecked at his eye.
It was Hwang's turn to be pissed off finally tired of having to run away from the small, but ferocious animal. He grabbed it, looked at it with pure hat and spite, threw it with full strength at the wall, which in turn would have activated, had the bird not caught itself in mid flight and flew off.
"Yeah, you better run!" Hwang screamed after it.
"Men." His companion sighed and continued to look for an alternate exit.
With those words said the continued to look for a back entrance, well until the blue jay attacked Hwang again.
******
Meanwhile the second pair were continuing to look on their side of the temple, to bad they're not gonna find anything.
"Damn, nothing." Kilik muttered under his breath.
"Don't worry; we're bond to find something." Xianghua stated optimistically.
Kilik smiled, no matter what the situation Xianghua always had a positive out look on it, and her optimism always made him feel better. Unfortunately, we males don't use our brains often, but on the rare occasions that we do, it does tend to make us oblivious to our surroundings, as was Kilik's case, where a yellow apple he stepped on caused him to trip and fall face first into the ground.
"Oh my god, are okay?!" Xianghua asked, while rushing over to the prone form of the Kali-Yuga user.
"Yeah, I'm fine." Kilik answered, rubbing his throbbing nose.
Xianghua giggled at his current situation, his body cover in grass, his face smudged with dirt, this of course didn't escape Kilik's notice, he blushed and scratched the back of his head sheepishly. Now would you look at that, another cute moment between the two, time to ruin it.
"You!" yelled an unknown voice.
The two turned to the source of the voice, Voldo; yes he can talk this fic, if you don't like it, to bad. Anyhow, the two stare at him in shock, they thought he was still tied to the mast of the ship that they sent to sea.
"What the hell are you doing here!?" Kilik demanded, going into his fighting stance.
"The sword of my master, give it to me!" Voldo ordered.
"No way, that's our ticket out of here!" Xianghua countered.
Voldo growled he didn't care if they wanted the sword to get out of whatever hellhole they were in; no one stole from his master and got away with it. He kneeled, charging up his soul power, and launched himself forward, unfortunately, like me, Kilik and Xianghua had seen the attack before, were able to dodge it easily, and, Voldo, like my friends, instead went into the wall that currently had an active defense which fried the poor Hell Guardian.
"Well, that was easy." Kilik stated.
"But what do we do about the body?" Xianghua asked looking at the sizzling body of Voldo.
Kilik thought for a moment, finally it hit him, he knew exactly what to do to honor the man currently twitching in front of him, so they chucked the body in the forest and continued their search.
******
Mitsurugi slowly opened his eyes, every movement bringing a painful surge of electricity to surge through him. Ignoring his pain he slowly pushed himself to his feet, but as soon as he was standing, his legs began to give away, stumbling a few feet he finally found something to support himself with.
"You wanna lose that hand don't you?" growled a feral voice.
Ice began to settle in Mitsurugi's veins, slowly he turned towards the direction of the voice. His fears were confirmed when he found his hand on Taki's rear end.
"DIE!!!!" she screeched as she kicked him in the stomach, sending him skyward.
******
Meanwhile on the other side of the temple the remaining members of the group met.
"What happened to your face?" Xianghua asked Hwang, noting all the scratches and fresh blood.
"A disagreement with nature."
"So what do we do now?" asked Seung Mina.
While the group talked, Mitsurugi fell from the sky, right behind a bush, but the only one that noticed was Kilik.
"What was that?"
"What was what?" Xianghua inquired.
Seeing nothing behind him, he shrugged it off and continued to converse with his traveling companions, though the second he turned away Mitsurugi stood up, only to be tackled by Taki. And so an epic ass kicking proceeded behind the bush, either one or the other popping in and out of it, and all of this went unnoticed by the others.
"Maybe we should see if Taki and Mitsurugi found anything." Suggested Hwang.
"We didn't find anything." A familiar feminine voice informed them from behind.
The group turned to Taki, who at this point was dragging an unconscious Mitsurugi behind her.
"Shit!" Kilik swore.
The rest of the group just sighed, seeing the situation was hopeless, they were just about to give when a familiar voice broke the silence.
"You give up too easily!"
They turned towards the direction off the voice, it was in fact our favorite idiot, Yoshimitsu.
"Where have you been?" asked Seung Mina.
"YOU GUYS LEFT ME CRUSHED UNDER A PILE OF GOLD!!!!!" he screamed, anime vein flaring on his forehead.
"So that's what we forgot." Xianghua said to herself.
"Anyway, I'll take you guys inside."
Our group after waking up Mitsurugi and apologizing to Yoshimitsu followed him to the main gate, once their Yoshimitsu pulled it open.
"Wait you mean it's not locked?!" Seung Mina asked.
"Of course not didn't you see the...oh damn." Yoshimitsu bent over and picked something up, it was in fact a sign that said 'pull'.
At this point everyone fell over anime style, all this time it had been unlocked and they hadn't noticed, all that for nothing, heh sucks don't it. After they picked themselves and their egos up they enter the main courtyard and proceeded up the stairs leading inside.
"See I told you it was that kid!" Mitsurugi exclaimed "No adult could be this cruel!"
"Yeah, right." Taki replied.
"I'm serious!"
"Tell you what Mitsurugi, if we ever meet this person, and it turns out you were right, I'll sleep with you."
"Really?"
"Ninja's are forbidden to lie."
...I think it's obvious why I named the chapter what I did.
****** A/N: The next chapter will be the last.
Well, that's what I would have been saying, but thanks to a little inspiration I've decided to continue this, where did this inspiration come from well it came from Warrior Island by The Zelda Master. After the laughter stopped and the breathing once again brought oxygen to my brain I decided to prolong my story, so I guess this chapter is a thank you, thanks Namika...oh and to my much neglected readers I would like to say...review, okay and thanks too. Oh crap yeah, sorry if it sucks.
Chapter 1
By Li Kenta
******
And so the warriors that were chosen by the cosmic force known as fate or in our case my insanity, boredom and gigantic ego, begin their return to the temple in which they are bond forever...
...or at least until I get bored.
"Well, that was something I don't want to do again." Hwang stated out of the blue.
"No argument there." Seung Mina commented.
"By the way," Hwang started. "We heard you girls shriek in the cave what was that all about?"
"Oh, uh, we saw a...mouse." The once proud Korean girl admitted sheepishly.
Behind them Kilik swore under his breath and handed the agreed amount to the gleeful Mitsurugi, who was all too happy to take the money of his hands. Finally after another day's travel, a squirrel hunt, a nudist camp and somehow being forced into slave labor by Starbucks, they made to the bane of their existence...my house?!
"Mitsurugi, you were supposed to find the temple!" Taki complained.
"I know, but I feel the person that forced us into this is in there." Mitsurugi responded seriously.
The all looked toward the house not a single sound was heard except for the furious typing of a keyboard, the person doing the typing was in fact a young man with long blonde hair, glasses perched on his nose, and what resembled peach fuzz under his nose. It was at this point the rest of the group burst out laughing, rolling on the ground holding their sides.
"God damn that's stupid!" Kilik gasped between laughs.
"Yeah, Mitsurugi, to think some sixteen year-old is control every aspect of our lives, that's completely ridiculous!" Xianghua added.
...poor, poor misguided idiots, I in fact AM controlling every aspect of their waking and sometimes sleeping lives, if only they listened to Mitsurugi, oh well, sucks for them. Okay, after they stopped laughing and began to breath again they headed in the right direction, all the while Mitsurugi brought up the rear, still convinced he was right...well he was but no one believed him. Anyway, they finally reached the temple, looking as regal as ever, but to them it's like High School, a vicious, life-sucking bitch from which there is no escape.
"Come on," Kilik said to the group. "Let's go."
The rest of party nodded and approached the gate, Kilik reached for the handle pushed forward and...stood still, the gate wasn't moving.
"Oh shit!" exclaimed Hwang. "Don't tell me it's locked.'
"Looks that way..." Kilik responded as he massaged his forehead, trying to think of how many more ways they could get screwed over.
"We'll need to find a way over the wall." Xianghua suggested.
"Maybe, Taki can get over it!" Seung Mina recommended.
"She could, the walls aren't that high." Mitsurugi said putting his hand on the smooth surface of the wall, unfortunately when he did two hundred thousand volts electrocuted him, dropping him instantly that's right, samurai, extra crispy...what? I couldn't leave the thing unguarded could I?
"Guess that's not an option anymore." Taki stated, looking at the twitching form of Mitsurugi.
"Damn, looks like we'll have to look around." Kilik informed the non-fried members of the group.
"Right, let's split up into three groups, and meet back say, half an hour." Seung Mina added.
With that our heroes split up Hwang going with Seung Mina, Xianghua following Kilik and Taki staying with the charred Mitsurugi, who at this point is still unconscious.
******
Hwang watched Seung Mina closely, looking for any sign that would lead to her taking a chance at running off. His cool, precise eyes scanned his surroundings for a split second, checking for anything dangerous, before returning to the woman in front of him.
"Like what you see?" Seung Mina asked, a smirk on her lips.
"About as much as I like eating mud."
The swift and cruel reply made the girl in front of him turn away, he sighed quietly almost wishing he could take it back, but he couldn't let her know his attraction to her. Ever since Voldo's money pit, seeing her pinned down by that mad man, he had become a bit protective of her, not that it was wrong, she was attractive, any man would want her, her face, her laugh, her fiery personality, her beautiful body...
CRASH
Unfortunately, I am the master of ruining things, and the way I ruined this is having Hwang walk into a tree, seeing he was so deep in thought he wasn't paying any attention to where he going.
"Are you okay?" Seung Mina asked running up beside the downed Korean soldier.
"Of course." Hwang shot back, jumping up, but unfortunately, there was a low branch right where Hwang's thick, thick head was intending to go.
With a loud crack the branch broke off completely, and although our friends head is harder then stone, he still took some damage. Stumbling around for a little while he finally steadied himself, by stepping in a nest full of bird eggs, this nest sadly was the nest of a blue jay, which as we know is the most protective of all birds, and seeing as its eggs were completely smashed, it was understandable that it was a little peeved. Seung Mina just watched silently as Hwang ran back and forth like an idiot, flailing his arms wildly in hopes of getting the bird to leave, while the bird intent on getting revenge, continued to peck and claw at his face.
"Need some help now?" Seung Mina inquired, holding back a smirk that was trying to force its way onto her features.
"No!" He yelled back, just as the bird pecked at his eye.
It was Hwang's turn to be pissed off finally tired of having to run away from the small, but ferocious animal. He grabbed it, looked at it with pure hat and spite, threw it with full strength at the wall, which in turn would have activated, had the bird not caught itself in mid flight and flew off.
"Yeah, you better run!" Hwang screamed after it.
"Men." His companion sighed and continued to look for an alternate exit.
With those words said the continued to look for a back entrance, well until the blue jay attacked Hwang again.
******
Meanwhile the second pair were continuing to look on their side of the temple, to bad they're not gonna find anything.
"Damn, nothing." Kilik muttered under his breath.
"Don't worry; we're bond to find something." Xianghua stated optimistically.
Kilik smiled, no matter what the situation Xianghua always had a positive out look on it, and her optimism always made him feel better. Unfortunately, we males don't use our brains often, but on the rare occasions that we do, it does tend to make us oblivious to our surroundings, as was Kilik's case, where a yellow apple he stepped on caused him to trip and fall face first into the ground.
"Oh my god, are okay?!" Xianghua asked, while rushing over to the prone form of the Kali-Yuga user.
"Yeah, I'm fine." Kilik answered, rubbing his throbbing nose.
Xianghua giggled at his current situation, his body cover in grass, his face smudged with dirt, this of course didn't escape Kilik's notice, he blushed and scratched the back of his head sheepishly. Now would you look at that, another cute moment between the two, time to ruin it.
"You!" yelled an unknown voice.
The two turned to the source of the voice, Voldo; yes he can talk this fic, if you don't like it, to bad. Anyhow, the two stare at him in shock, they thought he was still tied to the mast of the ship that they sent to sea.
"What the hell are you doing here!?" Kilik demanded, going into his fighting stance.
"The sword of my master, give it to me!" Voldo ordered.
"No way, that's our ticket out of here!" Xianghua countered.
Voldo growled he didn't care if they wanted the sword to get out of whatever hellhole they were in; no one stole from his master and got away with it. He kneeled, charging up his soul power, and launched himself forward, unfortunately, like me, Kilik and Xianghua had seen the attack before, were able to dodge it easily, and, Voldo, like my friends, instead went into the wall that currently had an active defense which fried the poor Hell Guardian.
"Well, that was easy." Kilik stated.
"But what do we do about the body?" Xianghua asked looking at the sizzling body of Voldo.
Kilik thought for a moment, finally it hit him, he knew exactly what to do to honor the man currently twitching in front of him, so they chucked the body in the forest and continued their search.
******
Mitsurugi slowly opened his eyes, every movement bringing a painful surge of electricity to surge through him. Ignoring his pain he slowly pushed himself to his feet, but as soon as he was standing, his legs began to give away, stumbling a few feet he finally found something to support himself with.
"You wanna lose that hand don't you?" growled a feral voice.
Ice began to settle in Mitsurugi's veins, slowly he turned towards the direction of the voice. His fears were confirmed when he found his hand on Taki's rear end.
"DIE!!!!" she screeched as she kicked him in the stomach, sending him skyward.
******
Meanwhile on the other side of the temple the remaining members of the group met.
"What happened to your face?" Xianghua asked Hwang, noting all the scratches and fresh blood.
"A disagreement with nature."
"So what do we do now?" asked Seung Mina.
While the group talked, Mitsurugi fell from the sky, right behind a bush, but the only one that noticed was Kilik.
"What was that?"
"What was what?" Xianghua inquired.
Seeing nothing behind him, he shrugged it off and continued to converse with his traveling companions, though the second he turned away Mitsurugi stood up, only to be tackled by Taki. And so an epic ass kicking proceeded behind the bush, either one or the other popping in and out of it, and all of this went unnoticed by the others.
"Maybe we should see if Taki and Mitsurugi found anything." Suggested Hwang.
"We didn't find anything." A familiar feminine voice informed them from behind.
The group turned to Taki, who at this point was dragging an unconscious Mitsurugi behind her.
"Shit!" Kilik swore.
The rest of the group just sighed, seeing the situation was hopeless, they were just about to give when a familiar voice broke the silence.
"You give up too easily!"
They turned towards the direction off the voice, it was in fact our favorite idiot, Yoshimitsu.
"Where have you been?" asked Seung Mina.
"YOU GUYS LEFT ME CRUSHED UNDER A PILE OF GOLD!!!!!" he screamed, anime vein flaring on his forehead.
"So that's what we forgot." Xianghua said to herself.
"Anyway, I'll take you guys inside."
Our group after waking up Mitsurugi and apologizing to Yoshimitsu followed him to the main gate, once their Yoshimitsu pulled it open.
"Wait you mean it's not locked?!" Seung Mina asked.
"Of course not didn't you see the...oh damn." Yoshimitsu bent over and picked something up, it was in fact a sign that said 'pull'.
At this point everyone fell over anime style, all this time it had been unlocked and they hadn't noticed, all that for nothing, heh sucks don't it. After they picked themselves and their egos up they enter the main courtyard and proceeded up the stairs leading inside.
"See I told you it was that kid!" Mitsurugi exclaimed "No adult could be this cruel!"
"Yeah, right." Taki replied.
"I'm serious!"
"Tell you what Mitsurugi, if we ever meet this person, and it turns out you were right, I'll sleep with you."
"Really?"
"Ninja's are forbidden to lie."
...I think it's obvious why I named the chapter what I did.
****** A/N: The next chapter will be the last.
Well, that's what I would have been saying, but thanks to a little inspiration I've decided to continue this, where did this inspiration come from well it came from Warrior Island by The Zelda Master. After the laughter stopped and the breathing once again brought oxygen to my brain I decided to prolong my story, so I guess this chapter is a thank you, thanks Namika...oh and to my much neglected readers I would like to say...review, okay and thanks too. Oh crap yeah, sorry if it sucks.