Disclaimer: Must I say this again. I guess I must. I own nothing. Not KH, not Sora, not Riku. Or anyone else for that matter. And the song I mentioned doesn't belong to me either.

Comments:Another Sora chapter, although Riku makes a small appearance in this chapter. ChaosHarbor aww, thank you that was so nice. You actually liked the game, I figured everyone would think it was stupid. Well, I'm glad I was wrong. TKE glad you like my new story. You get a little reaction for Sora on seeing silver hair this chapter. Black Juju I had to go back over the last chapter to see where Roxas was mean, cause when I read your review it surprised me you said he was. I found it, he was indeed mean. But that is how they are suppose to be for later in the story.

Chapter 4 Of Therapy and Hating

Sora sat in the waiting room, tapping his foot on the ground. He didn't want to be here. He hated this place. But if he didn't come, his mother would find out then he wouldn't hear the end of it. He glanced around at the pictures that lined the walls. He had seen them all many times before. He guessed that they were suppose to make you feel happy or something, but they didn't. They didn't make him feel anything.

Sora glanced over to the receptionist, who smiled kindly at him. Like she was saying she was sorry he was having to wait so long. He looked away, back to the magazine in his hand. It was one of those health magazines that all doctors offices were required to have a subscription to, or at least that is how it seemed to him. If did not matter if it was a medical doctor, a dentist, or a psychologist they all seemed to have this magazine.

Sora flipped through the pages looking for anything of interest to read. He heard the buzzing of the phone on the receptionist's desk. He heard her short conversation which only consisted of a couple of words.

"Dr. Mitchell will see you now."

Sora nodded politely and walked into the office he had been visiting for the past two years. He slumped down in the chair that he always sat in, across from the doctor. Dr. Mitchell was a middle age man, who had been a friend of his father's. The two had went to school together when they were Sora's age. Sora had already heard a lot about when they were younger. Dr. Mitchell believed that he would be able to get Sora to open up more by talking about his father. But most of it just reconfirmed Sora's belief that his father was a bastard.

"So how are you doing today, Sora?" Dr. Mitchell asked. He always opened their sessions this way.

"Oh, just great. Couldn't be better." Sora said, the other not missing the sarcasm in the younger ones voice.

"Why don't you tell me what has been going on."

"Why? It isn't going to do any good. It hasn't done any good yet. Why don't you just do us both a favor and tell my mother that I am better and no longer need to see you." Sora said, although he knew it wouldn't work. He had tried it before.

"Now, Sora, you know very well I can't do that. You are obviously not better. I can't help you if you don't talk to me. So tell me what is going on. Or do you like being like this?"

Sora glared at the man in front of him. Not wanting to answer the question, he studied the doctor, looking for a way to change the subject. Sora noticed that the hairline on him was starting to recede, his gut was starting to stick out over his belt. The man wore a wedding ring. Sora turned his attention over to the picture on the desk. It was turned part ways so he could see it. It was a picture of a woman, probably the doctors wife, and three children. One of the children appeared to be a little older than him, one around his age, and the other fairly young, maybe six or seven.

"Do you like being the way you are? Are you completely satisfied with your life? Isn't there something more you want out of it?" Sora asked.

"I am fine with the way I am. I am satisfied with my life. I have a wonderful wife and three children who make me proud. I can't think of anything more than that that I would want. But we are not talking about me, we are talking about you."

Sora thought about the words the doctor had said. Three children he was proud of. Would his own parents say that kind of thing about him? Did he make them proud? No, he didn't. Maybe a few years ago he did, but not now. Everything had changed for his family after the attack. His parents had been happy before then. Afterwards they blamed themselves and each other for what had happened. It wasn't either of their faults, but that didn't stop them. His father started drinking, and that was when he started being verbally abusive. Eventually his parents started fighting about everything. And then everything ended. His father had met someone and left. His mother had changed. And Sora had felt all alone.

"Sora, talk to me. Tell me what has been going on with you. What are you thinking about right now?"

Sora looked back to the doctor and sighed, "My family. I was thinking about how my parents will never say they are proud of me like you said you are proud of your kids. Guess I can't blame them though, I am too screwed up for anyone to be proud of."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because it is the truth."

"What makes you think you are screwed up?"

"I am. What happened to me really messed me up. I haven't been the same since. A lot of things haven't been the same since. My family scattered. My father left, my mother hates men and even me sometimes. Everything went to hell because of me."

""You shouldn't blame yourself. It wasn't your fault. A terrible thing happened to you, to you Sora. Not by you. You didn't want it to happen, you didn't ask for it. But it happened to you anyway. And yes, it caused some problems within your family and things changed, but none of that was your fault. You didn't do anything wrong."

"Even still, that doesn't change anything. It doesn't make my mother stop hating me, it won't bring my father back. The fact that I didn't do anything wrong will not put my family back together again."

"Is that what you want? Is that what is making you the way that you are, because you want your family back together and you know it isn't going to happen? Would that fix everything?"

"Yes. No, I don't know. I don't know what I want. I want the pain to go away. I want to stop being haunted by all of this. I want the nightmares to stop. I..."

"Nightmares? What nightmares? You have never mention them before. Tell me about them."

Sora looked away. He hadn't meant to mention the nightmares. It had been a slip. He was afraid of where the conversation would go from here. Would he have to tell about the headaches the nightmares left in their wake? Would he tell about the painkillers he had been getting from Axel? If he did would his mother find out about them? He sighed again before answering the question.

"It's nothing. I never mentioned them because they are not that big of a deal." Sora lied.

Dr. Mitchell eyed him suspiciously and Sora knew he wasn't buying that. The man looked down to write something down before looking at Sora again.

"If the nightmares are nothing then why did you say you wanted them to stop? They are bothering you. Let's talk about them. What are they about?"

Sora knew the doctor well enough to know he wasn't going to let this drop easily. Even if he let it go this session he would be sure to bring it up at future sessions until Sora told him.

"I... I see it. It's like on tv where they have those reenactments of things that happened. Only there is not an actor playing my role. I normally end up waking up before I get all the way through the attack. But I still see enough to bring everything else back." Sora quietly said.

"How often do you have these nightmares?"

"I normally go awhile without having them, like a couple of months. But then they start up again and I keep having them for a couple of weeks."

"Every night for that couple of weeks?"

"No. I had one the night before last and the few nights before then, but I didn't have one last night." It was the truth, Sora had managed to escape the nightmare the night before.

"Has this been happening ever since it happened?"

"Yes."

"Have you told anyone besides me?"

"One of my friends. That's it."

"Why just that one friend?"

"He was the one who found me and helped me that day it happened. He knows what happened. He understands what I am going through."

"I see. It is good that you have a friend whom you can confide in. Sora, have you ever thought about going to group therapy? It may help you to hear and share with other people that have experience the same type of thing as you."

"I don't think I want to talk about it with a whole bunch of people I don't even know."

"But that could be good for you, especially if you have a hard time talking about it with people you do know. To see what other people are doing to get through it. No one there is going to judge you, they have all been through it as well."

"I don't know. I'll think about it."

"Alright, that's all I ask. It seems our time is up for today. I will see you next time. If you have any problems before then"

"I know, I can call you. You say that every time, I have it memorized by now."

"I mean it every time too. Whether you believe it or not, Sora, I do care about you and want you to get better."

Sora smiled a small smile, "Yeah, somehow I do know that. See you next time."

Sora got up and exited the office. He didn't stop by the receptionist, there was no need too. His appointments were preset. He quickly made his way out of the building grateful for the fresh air. He had managed to not give away everything. Dr. Mitchell didn't know about the headaches or the painkillers.

As Sora made his way to the bus stop he looked around at the people coming and going around him. Business men and women all dressed up in the fancy suits, always in a hurry to get where they were going. In his mind, he hated those people. They were people who always seemed to have an air about them that they were very important and if they didn't do their job the world would end. Life would cease to function as we know it.

Then there were the school kids walking around in the groups. Sora hated them as well. Laughing like they didn't have a care in the world, nothing bad could ever happen to them. It was always someone else. Sora had thought like that once. Until it wasn't someone else that the bad things happened too. Until it was him. Sometimes he found himself wishing that what happened to him would happen to them. Then maybe he wouldn't have to see them looking so happy all the time. Maybe then they would hate the world with him.

Sora shook the thoughts out of his head. It was wrong to feel that way. Wrong to think those things. He shouldn't wish that on his worst enemy. Not that he had any enemies to speak of. Not any external ones anyway. No, his enemies where his memories. His memories of a young man he trusted, of a brutal rape. His memories of how the man had gotten away with what he had done to him. He had stolen his innocence and his virginity. He had shattered his trust in people and his faith in the world. His faith that everything would always be all right in the end. That the good guys always win. That anyone and everyone could live their life happily.

But all of that was a bunch of bullshit. Everything would not always be all right in the end, no matter how much you wish it. The good guys didn't always win, that was just a lie told to kids. Perhaps to dissuade them from doing wrong, or to further their believes in fairy tales or comic book heroes. But this wasn't a comic book, this wasn't a fairy tale. Thing fall apart, there isn't a happily ever after in the real world.

Sora watched as the bus pulled up and stopped in front of him. He made his way to the back of the bus, sitting down in an empty seat. As the bus pulled away, he pulled out his mp3 player and flipped it on. He would rather drown out the world around him, than listen to the people around him make their happy conversations. He pushed a button on the player until a song came up that he had recently discovered. It was by Avenged Sevenfold called Bat Country.

Sora hummed along to the words as he watched the scenery pass. He let the words pour into his soul, freeing him temporarily. Everything was temporary. He could not find anything that could free him completely forever. How he wished he could. Break the chains that bound him to the pain, wrapped around him in a tight embrace. The chains unending. They only loosened themselves for short periods of time, before pulling back in, as if mocking him that he would never be free.

Sora turned from the window as laughter from inside the bus grew louder making it hard to hear the song he had been listening to. He noticed a group of guys around his age that he didn't recognize. There were two with silverish hair, four blonds, one red head, and one brunet. Sora noticed that a couple of them had scars running down their faces, like they had been in a fight. He briefly wondered how the other people had faired in the fight. But his curiosity was overruled by his annoyance. He raised the volume on his player to drown out the sound.

As the bus made another stop, Sora was disappointed to see the loud group had not gotten off the bus. He looked towards the front to see a familiar red head headed his way. Axel sat down in the seat next to him and pulled one of his head phones out of his ear.

"Just get out of meeting with the doc.?" Axel asked. Axel knew when Sora had his appointments.

"Yes. What are you doing here?"

"Had to pick up some things. Gotta keep my supply up so my little sex kitten can stay headache free. It tends to get in the way of my fun when he has a headache."

"Is that so? Then maybe you should find another sex kitten."

Axel was about to reply when a loud ring of laughter sounded out throughout the bus. Sora glared at the group, not that that did any good, they weren't looking at him anyway. Axel wasn't as polite as Sora and just glaring at people who couldn't see it anyway wasn't going to cut it. So what if there was more of them, Axel wasn't afraid of anyone.

"Would you shut the hell up. There are other people on this bus that don't feel like listening to your crap."

The group turned around to look at the one who had spoken to them. They eyed Axel and Sora. It was easy for them to tell which one had said that. Sora looked outside the window, not liking all the attention that Axel and him were getting. He looked out of the corner of his eye and saw that the blond that had the scar on his face had stood up.

"Why should we shut up? And what are you going to do if we don't?"

"I'll add a burn mark to go with the scar." Axel said as he flicked the lighter he held in his hand. His face showed a smile that would make most people cringe in fear. A smile that showed he wasn't completely sane and liable to do what he threatened. The blond watched as Axel played with the lighter in his hand, running his hand back and forth over the flame. Never once letting the sinister grin leave his face.

"You and who else, tattoo boy? That little twerp beside you? Don't make me laugh." the blond said, some of his friends laughing at his comment. Sora continued to look out the window. He knew he was no match for them.

"I don't need to bring him into this. I can take care of you myself. If your friends want to join the fun, I don't mind. Might improve on some of their looks."

Axel smirked as he watched the group throw glares at him. It was obvious they didn't think their looks needed improving. The bus pulled to a stop and one of the silver haired guys announced that it was their stop.

"Too bad, I was hoping to see you try to take us on. Maybe next time."

The group exited the bus and Sora let go of the breath he was holding. He didn't like jerks like that, but he wasn't one to get into fights. So it suited him just fine. Although he was pretty sure Axel would not have let him get hurt. Axel had become pretty protective of him since they had become friends. Which was maybe understandable considering what had happen that led them to become friends in the first place. But other than that, he was happy that the group had left the bus because he hated silver haired people more than anyone else. He knew it was wrong to hate people based on their hair color, but the man who had raped him had silver hair.

TBC

Yes, that was Riku's group. This was their first meeting, if you can even call it that. Not a very good one. Oh well. As you can see at this point Sora pretty much hates the world. But it isn't like this every day. Guess therapy just brings out the 'best' in him. Sorry for the delay, I was having issues with the next chapter that I wanted to straighten out before posting this one. Please review, I need all the encouragement I can get with this story. Thanks.