Not So Important Missions
Intermission
By Li Katsuya
Li was agitated, he was very agitated, he was agitated beyong the normal level of agitation, he was as agitated as one would be after playing a RPG for three hours, then turning it off without saving, yes he was just that agitated. The source of his agitation was the wind blowing in his face, or the reason why it was blowing in his face, well valued reader the reason is there was a hole in the wall of his house, well not so much a hole as the wall was missing. Sighing in frustration, he rubbed his temples, trying in vain to alleviate the headache pounding on his temples, so instead he turned to the berserker standing next to him.
"Okay, you wanna tell me why part my wall is missing?"
The berserker beside him cringed slightly as he was addressed by his superior, wishing he wasn't the one who had to explain.
"Ummm..."
Flashback...
Berserker 38 fumbled with the faulty electrical wiring in Li's wall, cursing silently as he was shocked for the twentith time that hour alone. As he reconnected a pair of black wires the sound of stumbling entered his ears, as he turned he found the pink clad Berserker 49, trying to walk with a bottle of beer in his hand.
"That arrogant bastard! How dare he talk control of noble and dignified warriors!!!"
"49, if your gonna talk about us being dignified, at least put some pants on."
"You be quiet you asshole!"
In his drunken haze, berserker 49 threw a punch at his companion, only to fall into his arms, shaking his head slightly, the drunkard looked up.
"I am so sorry, I didn't mean it, your family, I love you, man!!!"
To emphasize his point the warrior began to cry into his friend's chest, who just stood there for a moment before pushing him off, a grabbing his beer.
"Okay, that's enough of the happy juice."
The drunk immediatlty withdrew his hand.
"No, you can't, the sexy fairies will hurt me if you do!"
"...Give me the bottle."
A wrestling match ensued as Berserker 38 went for the bottle again, his friend not exactly willing to hand over the drink. Soon after a few headlock's, a punch to the throat, and a knee to the groin, Berserker 49 lost his grip on the bottle and it flew towards the wall, the wall with faulty wiring, the wall with faulty wiring exposed, I'll let you put two and two together.
Outside...
Mr. Pecker, the across the street neighbor of Li, stood in front of his house waiting for the mailman to come, he was supposed to have come at one, he was two hours late, finally a white truck appeared down the road. Standing up he waited in anticpation as the truck stop in front of him, as the postal worker began to hand the old man his mail and issue of Playboy, a loud flash of light and the sound of a loud explosion was heard, but that didn't concern Mr. Pecker what concerned him was the mail truck, currently upside down in his living room.
End Flashback...
"...and that's how it happened." Berserker 38 ended.
"That's how what happened?" Asked Li, completly perplexed.
"I told you, the reason your wall's missing."
"You didn't say anything."
"Huh?"
"You were like zoning out for twenty minutes."
"Oh well, might as well tell it again."
And so the ax wielding warrior turned slave to arrogant author, explained what had happened, but afterwards the young author scratched the top of his blond head.
"Wait, what the hell happened to Berserker 49?" the blued eyed teenager asked.
"I think he's in Indiana."
"What makes you think he's in Indiana."
"I saw him flying that way."
"Ah."
Suddenly, The black armor clad Berserker 1 appeared before Li, scratching the back of his head sheepishly.
"Uh, boss?"
"What?"
"The kitchen sink's broken, sir."
Groaning slightly, the young author walked to the kitchen, approaching the sink, he turned on the cold water, only the water didn't run, turning on the warm water, he found that it also didn't work. Scratching his chin, he kneeled and opened the cabinet underneath the sink, examining the pipes, he found that they were not clogged, raising an eyebrow, he stood up and turned to the berserker.
"Get me some tools."
Two Hours Later...
"See, that wasn't so hard." Li said, a small smile on his face.
"Are you sure it was wise for you to take out all those pipes?"
"I only took out a few."
"You took out seventeen of them."
"So?"
"I'm not sure, but some of them might have been important."
"Don't worry, now the pipe system will be more effecient."
"If you say so."
"And I do."
Turning to the faucet, Li grabbed the handles, just as another berserker entered the kitchen and opened the fridge, retreaving an icing cold Brisk Iced Tea. Turning the handles of the faucet Li was dissapointed that water didn't come from the faucet but his dissapointment was soon forgotten as something elese took hold of his attention, the berserker would had entered the kitchen to get something to drink was suddenly caught in an geyser like eruption of water as he was about to pop the tab on the can. Watching his fellow warrior's body crash through the first floor ceiling then hearing him go through the second, Berserker 1 counted to three, sidestepping just in time to avoid the berserker, number 127 if anybody wants to know, falling smashing into the floor, he then turned to Li.
"Can we put the pipes back?"
"Yeah, I'd think that'd be best."
Two Hours Later...
"Are you sure this is how it was before?" asked a worried Berserker 1.
"Positive, now let's get this thing running."
Grasping the handles, he turned.
Meanwhile, at Mr. Pecker's house...
He had done it, the mail truck was finally gone and he his house was on it's way to being repaired, sighing with relief he relaxed in his favorite lawnchair, watching as the various contracter's worked on his house, lowering his head he began to drift into a nice peaceful nap. As he closed his eyes, the ground began to shake underneath his feet, standing up he turned to his house, sighing with relief when he saw nothing was damaged, wiping his brow of sweat he turned around, though as soon as he did, a torrent of water erupted from underneath his house, throwing the piece of real estate into the air.
Back at Li's house...
"God dammit, nothing work's!!!" exclaimed an exsaperated Li.
The sound of water hitting the windows caught the teenager's attention, looking confused he turned to Berserker 1.
"Did the weather say anything about rain today?"
"No, but when are the weathermen right, you know?"
"Yeah, that's true,"
Turning the faucet off, Li closed his eyes and began to think, while just across the street the water had stopped flowing and Mr, Pecker's house was back in it's lot, sure it had landed on him and collapsed in on itself when it hit the ground, but it was back in it's rightful place and that's what mattered.
"That's it, I'm hiring a plumber."
"First good thing he's said all day."
"Huh?"
"Nothing, Li."
Three hours later...
Li was happy, very happy, happy beyond the normal bounds of happiness, he is as happy as a kid would be after finding an intact Playboy magazine lying on the ground, yes, he was just that happy, he had finally downloaded the 1.16 patch for Wracraft Three: The Frozene Throne, and he was about to play the two Orc bonus campaign chapters, having only recieved the game recently. Grinning happily, he moved the cursor to chapter two and he was about to double click on it when a yell reached his ears."
"Li, Li!!!"
Groaning heavily, the author stood from his chair and turned to the door, seeing one of his many berserker's running towards him, he waited as the warrior ran to his door, finally reaching it and hitting his head on the door frame promptly knocking him out.
"...I wasn't exactly expecting that."
Walking over to the door, he slapped the warrior awake, who quickly stood up and smashed his head on the door frame again, knocking himself out again.
"Oh well, probabaly wasn't important."
A pair of berserker's being flung into the wall by a large blast contradicted Li's statement, sighing in frustration, he walked into the hallway.
"It's never easy."
A/N: "What the hell? where's our chapter, you bastard!!" Is probably what you're saying, yes, I know what you're saying, I'm that powerful, anyways, I bet you want to know what's up with this chapter, well it's not a chapter, it's a story intermission. The purpose of these are well to branch off from the story for a little while, the reason being well, running out of fuel for the story, and I these intermission's will break away from the main story, the way this will help me is give me something new to write so to speak, something with the drive I have when I first begin writing a story, it'll probably happen once every couple chapters or it may never happen again, we'll just have to wait and see. I know it's short but it's not meant to be long, it's a little skit. Also I've discovered a new addiction, Warcraft 3, and I've learned several things...human units have the BEST pissed off quotes, The New Horde kicks serious ass, Night Elves are beyond freaking cool and I hate Undead. Sorry, no reviewer commentary this chapter.
Intermission
By Li Katsuya
Li was agitated, he was very agitated, he was agitated beyong the normal level of agitation, he was as agitated as one would be after playing a RPG for three hours, then turning it off without saving, yes he was just that agitated. The source of his agitation was the wind blowing in his face, or the reason why it was blowing in his face, well valued reader the reason is there was a hole in the wall of his house, well not so much a hole as the wall was missing. Sighing in frustration, he rubbed his temples, trying in vain to alleviate the headache pounding on his temples, so instead he turned to the berserker standing next to him.
"Okay, you wanna tell me why part my wall is missing?"
The berserker beside him cringed slightly as he was addressed by his superior, wishing he wasn't the one who had to explain.
"Ummm..."
Flashback...
Berserker 38 fumbled with the faulty electrical wiring in Li's wall, cursing silently as he was shocked for the twentith time that hour alone. As he reconnected a pair of black wires the sound of stumbling entered his ears, as he turned he found the pink clad Berserker 49, trying to walk with a bottle of beer in his hand.
"That arrogant bastard! How dare he talk control of noble and dignified warriors!!!"
"49, if your gonna talk about us being dignified, at least put some pants on."
"You be quiet you asshole!"
In his drunken haze, berserker 49 threw a punch at his companion, only to fall into his arms, shaking his head slightly, the drunkard looked up.
"I am so sorry, I didn't mean it, your family, I love you, man!!!"
To emphasize his point the warrior began to cry into his friend's chest, who just stood there for a moment before pushing him off, a grabbing his beer.
"Okay, that's enough of the happy juice."
The drunk immediatlty withdrew his hand.
"No, you can't, the sexy fairies will hurt me if you do!"
"...Give me the bottle."
A wrestling match ensued as Berserker 38 went for the bottle again, his friend not exactly willing to hand over the drink. Soon after a few headlock's, a punch to the throat, and a knee to the groin, Berserker 49 lost his grip on the bottle and it flew towards the wall, the wall with faulty wiring, the wall with faulty wiring exposed, I'll let you put two and two together.
Outside...
Mr. Pecker, the across the street neighbor of Li, stood in front of his house waiting for the mailman to come, he was supposed to have come at one, he was two hours late, finally a white truck appeared down the road. Standing up he waited in anticpation as the truck stop in front of him, as the postal worker began to hand the old man his mail and issue of Playboy, a loud flash of light and the sound of a loud explosion was heard, but that didn't concern Mr. Pecker what concerned him was the mail truck, currently upside down in his living room.
End Flashback...
"...and that's how it happened." Berserker 38 ended.
"That's how what happened?" Asked Li, completly perplexed.
"I told you, the reason your wall's missing."
"You didn't say anything."
"Huh?"
"You were like zoning out for twenty minutes."
"Oh well, might as well tell it again."
And so the ax wielding warrior turned slave to arrogant author, explained what had happened, but afterwards the young author scratched the top of his blond head.
"Wait, what the hell happened to Berserker 49?" the blued eyed teenager asked.
"I think he's in Indiana."
"What makes you think he's in Indiana."
"I saw him flying that way."
"Ah."
Suddenly, The black armor clad Berserker 1 appeared before Li, scratching the back of his head sheepishly.
"Uh, boss?"
"What?"
"The kitchen sink's broken, sir."
Groaning slightly, the young author walked to the kitchen, approaching the sink, he turned on the cold water, only the water didn't run, turning on the warm water, he found that it also didn't work. Scratching his chin, he kneeled and opened the cabinet underneath the sink, examining the pipes, he found that they were not clogged, raising an eyebrow, he stood up and turned to the berserker.
"Get me some tools."
Two Hours Later...
"See, that wasn't so hard." Li said, a small smile on his face.
"Are you sure it was wise for you to take out all those pipes?"
"I only took out a few."
"You took out seventeen of them."
"So?"
"I'm not sure, but some of them might have been important."
"Don't worry, now the pipe system will be more effecient."
"If you say so."
"And I do."
Turning to the faucet, Li grabbed the handles, just as another berserker entered the kitchen and opened the fridge, retreaving an icing cold Brisk Iced Tea. Turning the handles of the faucet Li was dissapointed that water didn't come from the faucet but his dissapointment was soon forgotten as something elese took hold of his attention, the berserker would had entered the kitchen to get something to drink was suddenly caught in an geyser like eruption of water as he was about to pop the tab on the can. Watching his fellow warrior's body crash through the first floor ceiling then hearing him go through the second, Berserker 1 counted to three, sidestepping just in time to avoid the berserker, number 127 if anybody wants to know, falling smashing into the floor, he then turned to Li.
"Can we put the pipes back?"
"Yeah, I'd think that'd be best."
Two Hours Later...
"Are you sure this is how it was before?" asked a worried Berserker 1.
"Positive, now let's get this thing running."
Grasping the handles, he turned.
Meanwhile, at Mr. Pecker's house...
He had done it, the mail truck was finally gone and he his house was on it's way to being repaired, sighing with relief he relaxed in his favorite lawnchair, watching as the various contracter's worked on his house, lowering his head he began to drift into a nice peaceful nap. As he closed his eyes, the ground began to shake underneath his feet, standing up he turned to his house, sighing with relief when he saw nothing was damaged, wiping his brow of sweat he turned around, though as soon as he did, a torrent of water erupted from underneath his house, throwing the piece of real estate into the air.
Back at Li's house...
"God dammit, nothing work's!!!" exclaimed an exsaperated Li.
The sound of water hitting the windows caught the teenager's attention, looking confused he turned to Berserker 1.
"Did the weather say anything about rain today?"
"No, but when are the weathermen right, you know?"
"Yeah, that's true,"
Turning the faucet off, Li closed his eyes and began to think, while just across the street the water had stopped flowing and Mr, Pecker's house was back in it's lot, sure it had landed on him and collapsed in on itself when it hit the ground, but it was back in it's rightful place and that's what mattered.
"That's it, I'm hiring a plumber."
"First good thing he's said all day."
"Huh?"
"Nothing, Li."
Three hours later...
Li was happy, very happy, happy beyond the normal bounds of happiness, he is as happy as a kid would be after finding an intact Playboy magazine lying on the ground, yes, he was just that happy, he had finally downloaded the 1.16 patch for Wracraft Three: The Frozene Throne, and he was about to play the two Orc bonus campaign chapters, having only recieved the game recently. Grinning happily, he moved the cursor to chapter two and he was about to double click on it when a yell reached his ears."
"Li, Li!!!"
Groaning heavily, the author stood from his chair and turned to the door, seeing one of his many berserker's running towards him, he waited as the warrior ran to his door, finally reaching it and hitting his head on the door frame promptly knocking him out.
"...I wasn't exactly expecting that."
Walking over to the door, he slapped the warrior awake, who quickly stood up and smashed his head on the door frame again, knocking himself out again.
"Oh well, probabaly wasn't important."
A pair of berserker's being flung into the wall by a large blast contradicted Li's statement, sighing in frustration, he walked into the hallway.
"It's never easy."
A/N: "What the hell? where's our chapter, you bastard!!" Is probably what you're saying, yes, I know what you're saying, I'm that powerful, anyways, I bet you want to know what's up with this chapter, well it's not a chapter, it's a story intermission. The purpose of these are well to branch off from the story for a little while, the reason being well, running out of fuel for the story, and I these intermission's will break away from the main story, the way this will help me is give me something new to write so to speak, something with the drive I have when I first begin writing a story, it'll probably happen once every couple chapters or it may never happen again, we'll just have to wait and see. I know it's short but it's not meant to be long, it's a little skit. Also I've discovered a new addiction, Warcraft 3, and I've learned several things...human units have the BEST pissed off quotes, The New Horde kicks serious ass, Night Elves are beyond freaking cool and I hate Undead. Sorry, no reviewer commentary this chapter.