"Where were you this morning?" Temari asked when Gaara returned to the hotel room. "When you didn't come down for breakfast, we checked your room and you weren't there. You know it worries us when you randomly disappear like that."

"Don't worry," Gaara said, sitting down at the table and pouring a glass of juice for himself. "I didn't kill anybody." Anybody, no- the Forest of Death was, however, littered with the shredded remains of the many vicious creatures he and Neji had happened across during their date. The thought almost made him smile.

Temari huffed. "That's not why we were worried. We know you don't go out killing people anymore."

"Do you really?" Gaara fixed an unreadable gaze on his sister, and even now it never failed to make her squirm, just a little. Yes, she and Kankuro were his family, the only family he had ever had that he didn't hate. Once, even that might not have saved them from him, being as murderously-minded as he had been. Gaara was stable (for the most part) now, and had no intention of killing either of them. And while he was sure they understood that, he knew their fear of him remained. Just a little, in the back of their minds, they were still afraid of him. Sometimes he used that to his advantage. Sometimes it just made him feel sick.

"I was out with Neji," Gaara said, not bothering to let his sister answer.

Temari brightened. "That's great! I'm glad you're having a good time with him. I told you Konoha was the right place to start. And you know, if you decide that Neji isn't really the right… target, you can always decide on another one. In fact, most people are rarely lucky enough to get a relationship right on the first time. Not that I'm trying to discourage you or anything."

Change targets? Gaara couldn't think of anyone that would make nearly so interesting a target as Hyuuga Neji. He couldn't think of anybody he would prefer to try this "dating" thing with. "I don't need a new target. Neji is fine." This decided, Gaara calmly took a drink of his juice.

"Hm," Temari said, with an odd little smile. "So, have you kissed him yet?"

Gaara swallowed the juice a little too fast, and nearly choked. "No. Why would I do that?"

Temari shrugged. "That's what people do when they really like someone. And I think you do like him."

"I do not like him," Gaara said. "I don't like anyone. Neji is a target for a mission. That's all."

"Alright," Temari conceded, holding up her hands in a gesture of surrender. "Although I do think you're missing the point of this so-called mission, it's your life, and you don't have to like him if you don't want. However, if I may make a suggestion…?"

"…what is it?"

"At least try getting close to him," she said. "Physically close, I mean. Doesn't have to be much, but… Well, sometimes I think one of your problems is you just don't get any physical contact with people. You always hold yourself apart from people, and certainly they give you enough personal space, that I don't think you've really touched anybody. You even let your sand do most of your fighting for you."

It was a strange request, and Gaara didn't really see the point in it. But as Temari had proven to give fairly reliable advice thus far… "I'll think about it."

And he did think about it. He thought about touching Neji all day, complete with inappropriate commentary from his resident demon about just how he ought to be touching Neji. He hadn't really noticed that he never really made contact with people in his everyday life, but as he wandered through Konoha, he noticed that people really did leave a lot of space for him to pass, clearing a path for him even on crowded streets. He wondered if Neji would even let him touch him.

The more he thought about it, the more he wanted to see Neji. The afternoon wore on, and it was starting to get dark out, but it wasn't really all that late. He really did want to see Neji once more before he had to spend another sleepless night alone, so he went to seek the shinobi out. By this time of day, Neji was probably at home, and Gaara didn't know where the Hyuuga complex was located. But people were still out and about on the street, and among them, Gaara spotted the girl he'd seen Neji talking with in the park.

The Hyuuga girl (he knew he'd heard her name sometime during the chuunin exams, but he hadn't been paying enough attention to remember it now) was carrying a bag of groceries and was probably headed home herself. Though it would be an easy thing just to follow her, he decided it would be taken as a bad sign were he to just sneak into the Hyuuga complex. He was, after all, something of a diplomat here, and they generally frowned on things like that.

A direct confrontation was necessary. The girl froze when Gaara approached, her pale eyes- so much like Neji's- wide and frightened. Gaara kept a careful distance from her- she looked like she was ready to bolt. No wonder Kankuro had said this one was too shy.

"Hyuuga," Gaara greeted. "I'm looking for Neji. Would you mind showing me to his home?"

"I… I…" she took several steps back. "Um… I… He's… not home. I… he… Neji has a misson. He's with his team at the front gate… they're about to l-leave…"

He left her where she stood, still stammering, as he took off at a run toward the gates of Konoha. He had to catch Neji before he left. He didn't… he didn't want Neji to go on a mission. If Neji were to get hurt…

"Careful now," Shukaku warned. "You're starting to sound like you like him."

"I do not like him," Gaara replied to the demon. "But there wouldn't be much of a mission left if my target goes off and gets killed, would there? Besides, we don't have that much time here in Konoha. If he goes, we may have to leave before he gets back."

"Right," Shukaku murmured. "It's not like you're worried about his safety or anything."

"Not in the least."

Still, despite the fact that he was not worried about Neji, Gaara was almost relieved to see Neji's team still at the gate, checking over their preparations to go. Neji looked surprised to see him there, but not displeased, Gaara noted with some satisfaction. Neji gestured to his teammates to wait a moment, and stepped over to speak with Gaara.

"Come to see me off?" Neji asked. "You must have run into Hinata. The mission came up suddenly, or I would have told you-"

"You can't go," Gaara announced, cutting through Neji's apology.

Neji blinked. "What are you talking about? I have to go, this is my job. It's not a long mission, I'll return sometime tomorrow. We could go out for lunch when I get back."

"You can't go," Gaara insisted again. "You'll get hurt."

"Oh." Neji seemed to relax, even smiled faintly. "Is that what this is about? I'll be fine, Gaara. The mission isn't hard, and I have a good team."

"Not good enough," said Gaara. "If you won't stay, let me come with you."

"While that would probably make the mission more… interesting, I'm pretty sure it would be a breach of diplomatic etiquette to let you come. My team and I can handle it," Neji assured him. "You've seen them fight. You even fought Lee yourself in the chuunin exams-"

"And defeated him." Why couldn't Neji understand that he couldn't go? "TenTen lost to Temari. Even you were defeated, by Naruto, no less."

Gaara could tell immediately that that had not been the right thing to say. Neji's smile faded, his expression hardening. His eyes suddenly seemed cold.

"I have to go," Neji said shortly, adjusting the weight of his small pack, and turning away from Gaara. Neji's team look puzzled by his expression, but didn't argue when Neji signaled for them to move out.

"Neji, wait," Gaara said.

Silently as shadows, Neji stepped out into the woods and vanished into the dark. He didn't even look back. TenTen quickly followed. Lee hesitated, looking back at Gaara. He looked like he was about to say something, then just shook it off, offered Gaara a somewhat weak grin, and disappeared after his teammates.

­"Nice going,"­ Shukaku congratulated. "I knew if I waited long enough, you'd screw up somehow. I'm surprised it took you this long."

"I didn't mean to make him angry," said Gaara.

"Oh, you didn't? Could have fooled me. If you weren't trying to make him angry, what was your reasoning for telling him that he and his team were a bunch of losers?"

"I just wanted him to stay." He could go after him, though it probably wouldn't help anything. There wasn't much he could do to get Neji to call off this mission and stay, short of tying him up. While it did have the benefit of keeping Neji safe, Gaara doubted Neji would ever speak to him again. Then his own mission would be a failure.

"You don't even know what kind of mission he was going on," Shukaku pointed out. "He might have been right, it might not even be all that dangerous."

"They wouldn't have given a minor mission to Neji," Gaara said. "They wouldn't waste him on small stuff that genin could do."

"If you had that kind of faith in his abilities," Shukaku said, "why didn't you tell him that, instead of insulting him?"

Gaara didn't have an answer for that. Instead, he found a spot to settle down and wait. There was no point in going back to the hotel; it's not as though he could sleep. He would be here by the gate, so he could see Neji the moment he returned, and somehow make Neji understand he hadn't meant those things he'd said quite the way they had sounded.

It seemed as though the night had never passed more slowly.

x.x.x

"Gaara! Hey, Gaara!"

Gaara looked over when somebody called out to him, mildly surprised to find Naruto running over to him. He knew Naruto, had even spent some time around him before, but he'd never really considered him a friend. Well, of course he didn't; he didn't consider anyone to be a friend. But he found he could tolerate Naruto for periods of time. It helped that Naruto's presence always brought out the baser nature of Shukaku, reducing the demon to the low growls and snarls that Gaara could tune out.

Naruto didn't bother sitting; Gaara knew Naruto always had too much energy to be still for too long. "I'd heard you got here a couple of days ago, but I haven't seen you around. You on vacation or something, or is this some diplomatic thing?"

"A little of both," Gaara said. "Who told you I was in town?"

"Everybody!" Naruto exclaimed. "A lot of them thought you'd be looking for me, since we're friends and all, but when you never showed, I went looking for you. Hinata said she'd seen you running this way." Naruto looked up at the gates, frowning. "What are you doing here, anyway?"

"Waiting." Gaara turned his gaze back to the gate. "Naruto… you're friends with Neji, aren't you?"

"Neji?" Naruto blinked. "Yeah, I guess so. Sort of. He's hard to get close to, but sometimes he'll come along when a bunch of us go out for ramen."

"You beat him in the chuunin exams," Gaara said. "Does that still upset him?"

"Wow, that was a long time ago." Naruto laughed. "You know, I have no idea, really. Neji's funny like that. Sometimes he holds a grudge for ages, sometimes he shrugs it off like it was nothing. I think he's okay with how that fight turned out. He's a lot less of a jerk now, too! No more of that crap about fate that he used to go on about. Why all the questions about Neji, anyway? I didn't think you two had ever even said two words to each other before."

"I asked him out the other day."

"No kidding?" Naruto let out a low whistle of amazement. "That's a new one. Didn't think Neji did the casual dating thing. I mean, I've heard he's fairly popular, but I don't think I've ever heard that he was dating anybody. And it's damned hard to keep stuff like that quiet in Konoha, trust me. I hear all about who's dating who from Sakura."

That was something Gaara hadn't given much thought to, that other people his age would be starting this confusing "dating" thing, as well. Possibly they would have more insight on the activity than he had been able to garner. "Are you dating someone?"

Naruto shut his mouth so fast his teeth clicked, his face taking on a peculiar pink tint. "Er… well… what I meant… okay, yeah. I've been keeping it secret though, because… my boyfriend would think it was such a pain to have people gossiping about him."

"It is a boy, then…" That was interesting. Everybody seemed to think it was so peculiar for a male to date another male, and Gaara hadn't quite figured out why. He'd simply chalked it up to being another one of those "normal people" rules that forever made little sense to him. Things like that were better off ignored.

"You know, I never really thought you'd be the type to date," Naruto went on. "No offense or anything, you just never seemed… into that sort of thing. Or anything that involved speaking to people, or being around people…"

"It was Temari and Kankuro's idea. They thought it would make me… happy."

"Has it?" Naruto asked.

"… I don't know." Gaara frowned. "It all seems very complicated. I'm not sure I'm very good at it."

Naruto snickered. "It's not hard, Gaara. Everybody else seems to be managing it just fine. Even Lee, and nobody ever thought he'd manage to get a girlfriend. Hinata says all his goofiness is kind of sweet, though. It's not like it's a… a mission or anything like that. You just find somebody you like, and that likes you, and you spend a lot of time together."

That might be well and good for some people. But Gaara didn't like people, not even Neji. If you liked someone, they hurt you. He wasn't going to let anyone hurt him, ever again. Neji would never be anything more than a mission. Assuming that Neji was still willing to be his target once he returned from his own mission. Gaara's gaze strayed back to the gate. No, when Neji returned, Gaara would find a way to repair the damage he had done, and continue with the mission. He would not choose a different target.

Naruto watched him in silence for half a moment, before blurting, "Aren't you bored?"

"I do no get bored," Gaara replied. Vaguely, he seemed to recall Shukaku once saying much the same thing…

"Everybody gets bored," Naruto said. "I get bored a lot. I'm bored just watching you."

"Then go do something else."

Naruto frowned, then brightened suddenly. "I could teach you a jutsu!"

"What?" Gaara frowned at him.

"No, really, it'll be fun. Then you'll have something to do while you're waiting. I'll teach you one of my famous transformation jutsu, one I invented myself!" Naruto nodded, pleased with his idea.

Gaara had heard all about Naruto's "famous jutsu." "Naruto, I'm not letting you transform me into a girl," Gaara said.

"Aw, but Gaara-"

Naruto's whine was cut off as the gate finally opened. Gaara stood, not even stiff from the long night sitting. Neji's team was finally returning. As they stepped through the gate into the city, Gaara was stunned to see the state they were in. They were dirty, disheveled, and Neji-

-Neji was covered in blood.

"They hurt him," Gaara whispered. His next words were a snarl, colored by Gaara's rage and Shukaku's hate. "They hurt him!­" A red haze clouded his vision, and the sand spilled out of the gourd like a vengeful wave. "I'LL KILL THEM!"

Fury thundered in Gaara's head, and Shukaku howled its wrath. Gaara felt his control over the beast crumble, and he didn't care. He was going to kill them. Kill whoever had spilled Neji's blood. Track them down and crush them, listen to them scream as they died in agony. And then he would kill TenTen and Lee, for not protecting him, for being too weak. He would kill the ones who sent Neji on this mission, the Hokage if he had to. They were all going to die!

"Gaara!" A voice tried to penetrate the dark red haze of his thoughts. "Gaara, listen to me! It's not my blood!"

The fog cleared, and Gaara's thoughts snapped back to clarity. Shukaku snarled as the barriers clamped down around it once more. Gaara found himself staring at the concerned faces of Neji and his teammates, and beyond them, a circle of Konoha jounin, with weapons poised should Gaara attack in his fury. The sand fell to the ground, as if it suddenly lost all its energy. Gaara focused on Neji.

"You're… not hurt?" His throat felt raw as he spoke. "There's so much blood."

TenTen hesitantly held up a hand. "My fault, I'm afraid."

Gaara looked at her, then back at Neji, not understanding.

Neji smiled at him reassuringly. "It's the flaw of TenTen's favored fighting style. The better she gets, the more of a mess she makes."

The relief Gaara felt that Neji was safe was soon dwarfed by Gaara's realization of what had happened. He had lost control. All his hard won control over the demon, over himself, he had given it all up in that one moment. It had been so easy to give in to his anger and hatred, he had almost returned to the monster he had once been…

He called up his sands, summoning up a transportation jutsu to take him away from there. Anywhere else.

Gaara ended up several blocks from the gate, and he just kept going. He couldn't go back to the hotel, couldn't face his siblings and tell them what he'd almost done. He left the main city altogether, found himself following the path he and Neji had taken on their last date. Bypassed the guards easily, just as they had done before, and ended up in the dark solitude of the Forest of Death.

The remains of the creatures he and Neji had killed were gone now, probably eaten by something else. Gaara was glad for it; he didn't want to see any more blood right now. Finally he ended up sitting on a tree branch, high above the ground, breathing hard. He didn't think he could stand to go back. Maybe not ever.

He didn't know how long he had been sitting there, before he heard somebody calling his name.

"How did you find me?" Gaara asked, finding he wasn't all that surprised as Neji took a seat on the branch next to him. Neji had exchanged his bloody shirt for a clean one, though the rest of his clothes were still smattered with stains.

"I wouldn't be much of a shinobi if I couldn't track down a target, now would I?" Neji said lightly. "Gaara…"

"You should go," Gaara said. "Go back to your city, to your home. You would be… safer away from me."

"Just yesterday, you were of a different opinion about that."

"I was wrong. You… have no idea what I wanted to do, when I thought you had come back injured…"

Neji was silent a moment, then said, almost surprised, "You really were worried about me, weren't you?"

There wasn't much of a point to denying it now. "Yes. I suppose I was."

"Hm." Neji smiled, which surprised Gaara. "You know, I don't think anyone has ever been concerned about me while I was out on a mission. It's… kind of nice, in a way, even with the demon rages." Neji leaned over, his breath a warm prelude on Gaara's skin before he kissed him on the cheek, ever so softly.

Gaara's heart seemed to miss a beat. The sand spilled out of the gourd with a sigh, drifting around the two of them in ribbons, nudging the both of them softly but insistently closer together. Gaara could feel the warmth of Neji's body, even without touching him, and he took in a soft gulp of air, suddenly realizing he'd been holding his breath.

Neji's eyes were so bright, and he didn't pull away. Gaara let the sand draw them together, marveling at the way it felt to touch another person, this person. Without conscious thought, Gaara's hands found Neji's arms, slid up almost wonderingly over his shoulders, before they were pulling Neji closer to Gaara, holding him. Neji's lips curved in a smile. The sand purred, and Gaara kissed Neji.

Gaara's world narrowed to tactile sensation, something he was unfamiliar with. Neji's warmth, Neji's arms around him. Neji's breath and his tastes, strands of his hair gently tickling Gaara's skin. Gaara was aware of his heart beating, almost pounding, and he thought he could feel Neji's heartbeat as well, matching the rhythm. This was new, it was all so new, to touch and be touched by another, and it just… it just wasn't enough. Gaara wanted to drown in this feeling, fill all of his senses with Neji. Neji soothed the emptiness in Gaara, made Gaara feel…

Alive.

Gaara drew back, startled by the realization. Though they were apart, Gaara could still feel Neji's touch, almost feel Neji's lips against his own. His body felt alive with the awareness of Neji, so much that Gaara almost drew Neji close again, to feel his warmth, taste his lips. The suddenness of the craving was… deeply unsettling.

"I…" Gaara said, at a loss for what to say. He wanted Neji near him, and at the same time, wanted to run away. "I…"

"Should probably return to your hotel," Neji said. "Your family is probably worried about you. I need to check in with my superiors about the mission, anyway…"

"Mm." Gaara nodded, both relieved and disappointed for the excuse to leave.

They were silent as they left the Forest of Death, walking back toward the main avenues of the village. The sand whispered faintly within the gourd, and for once, Shukaku had nothing to say.

They said their goodbyes, though Gaara felt as though there were something more he ought to say. Neji just smiled at him, and to Gaara's delight and despair, kissed him once more before departing. Gaara watched him go, his heart thrumming anew even at that briefest touch.

"Excuse me, Gaara?" Someone's voice startled him out of his thoughts, and he felt a surge of anger at himself for forgetting himself and his surroundings so completely.

TenTen didn't cower when he turned his scowl on her. "Can I talk to you a minute?"

Though his first impulse was to ignore her and return to his hotel, she was Neji's teammate, so he finally gave a curt nod. She indicated that they should move to a more secluded street, and he followed, silent as he waited for her to speak.

TenTen seemed reluctant to start, not sure of how she should begin. "You're not the first person to ask Neji out, you know. There have been plenty of others, mostly girls, but a few boys. He's pretty popular. He's always really polite about it, but he's always turned them down. You're the first person he's ever said yes to."

Gaara was surprised, though his expression didn't show it. Nor did it show the unexpected spark of satisfaction at that admission.

"I think he likes you," TenTen admitted. "That's why I've got a favor to ask." When Gaara simply waited for her to continue, she said quickly, "Please, break it off with him. Don't see him anymore."

"What?" Gaara snapped. How dare she ask that of him? "Why?"

TenTen flinched slightly at his tone, but she didn't back down. "You have to. If this continues, you'll only end up hurting him. I can't… I can't let you hurt him."

"What happened at the gate-"

"-Doesn't have anything to do with this," TenTen said. "Though it is a concern as well. But the real reason I'm asking for this is… Neji is going to get married."

­"Married?" Shukakur snarled, coming out of its sulk. "To who?"

"His cousin Hanabi," TenTen answered when Gaara asked Shukaku's question aloud. "It's not really official yet, but Neji has known about the match for years now. That's why he never dates. I don't know why he changed his mind this time, but sooner or later… he knows it'll have to end."