Gaara sat on one of the rooftops of the village, staring out across the collection of shops and house as if contemplating their worth. But his mind wasn't on the scenery. He was thinking about Neji. It seemed like he'd thought of nothing but Neji for the past few days, but it was hard not to. Especially now, after the conversation he'd had with TenTen.

Married. Neji, getting married. Gaara had never met Hanabi in his previous visits to the village. TenTen had said she was younger than Neji, a quiet, serious little girl, and talented in the many skills prized by her clan. Perhaps not yet as good as Neji, but TenTen had said she would probably be "a good match" for him.

It was that last part that bothered Gaara the most. When TenTen had said that, she hadn't been talking about which of them would win in a fight. She'd meant that the two would compliment one another, power for power, skill for skill, and presumably, pass those impeccable genetics and talents on to whatever children they would produce. As if Neji were an animal for breeding! It made Gaara want to hurt somebody.

"That's a good start," Shukaku said, encouragingly. "A nice, relaxing killing-spree is just what you need."

"I need to talk to Neji."

"What for?" demanded Shukaku. "You heard what his teammate said. You don't mean anything to him. He's using you."

"I'm using him," Gaara corrected. "But Neji getting married… that would be an obstacle to my mission. I need to talk to him." TenTen had said that the marriage had been decided by the elders of the Hyuuga clan. What she had not mentioned was whether Neji had agreed.

And if he had, why would he have agreed to date Gaara?

Gaara left the rooftop, heading on a meandering tour through the city. It was getting dark early, most of the sky being darkened by ominous looking clouds. He didn't bother asking for directions to the Hyuuga complex. Gaara wandered the streets and alleys of Konoha. He passed a few of the stores two or three times. Despite his decision to go and talk with Neji, to hear his explanation on what TenTen said… he almost dreaded what Neji would say.

Even with his wanderings, nearly an hour later, he found himself outside the high walls of a clan complex. The sign beside the gate read, "Hyuuga."

"Well, you're here," Shukaku said. "For all the good it will do you. My vote is still for the killing-spree."

Gaara was contemplating whether to knock or simply go inside, when the gate opened, revealing three shinobi that Gaara didn't recognize, though their pale, opalescent eyes marked them as Neji's relatives. Sentries most likely, and curious as to why Gaara was there. They had no weapons visible, though Gaara had no doubt they were all well armed. Not to mention the many ways a Hyuuga could kill a person with only a touch. Though with the sand protecting Gaara, they'd never get close enough for that. But it looked as though the three of them did not consider Gaara a threat.

"Obviously they don't know you very well," Shukaku commented.

"I'm here to speak to Neji Hyuuga," Gaara said without preamble. "Is he here?"

The sentries blinked at him. "Is he expecting you?" one of them asked.

"I doubt it, but he'll speak to me anyway."

"You'll wait here," another of the sentries said. The gate was closed in Gaara's face.

The lack of hospitality didn't bother Gaara much. He hadn't really expected to be let in. Even though he was welcomed into Konoha due to his diplomatic status, it didn't guarantee him entrance into Konoha's clan homes. Leaving him at the gate was a matter of caution on the Hyuuga's part, until it was confirmed with the occupants that he was welcome.

And word was spread quickly to Neji that Gaara was waiting for him. Gaara had been waiting barely five minutes when the gate was opened again. Though Gaara had been expecting the return of the sentries, it was Neji that opened the door for him, gesturing for him to enter.

"You know," Neji said with a smile, "you have a talent for always showing up when I'm least expecting you. Come on in."

Gaara didn't cross the threshold. "I'm not visiting. I just need to talk to you."

"Come inside anyway," Neji said. "It's going to rain."

As if waiting for that cue, a raindrop spattered on Gaara's cheek. Startled by that, Gaara shot a glare at the sky, only to be rewarded with a raindrop in the eye. The rain picked up momentum quickly, and Gaara gave up and accepted Neji's offer to come inside where it was dry.

There were more people around than Gaara expected. A few of them offered a greeting to Neji and puzzled looks at Gaara, murmuring proper greetings to him as well as an afterthought. The Hyuuga complex was extensive, and Neji led him through some very elegant rooms and halls, all built and furnished of the finest materials, a tribute to the many generations of Hyuugas that had lived here.

Then Neji led him through a covered courtyard, and into a different building. This one was more crowded than the previous one, and most everyone had the strange, pale eyes of a Hyuuga. Neji had so much family. Gaara wondered what it must have been like for Neji, growing up surrounded by people, by family, people who presumably cared about him. Family was one of those touchy memories for Gaara, the kind that made Shukaku restless and eager for blood.

The building looked nearly identical to the first they had walked through, but as they walked, Gaara noticed little differences. While it was clean and well crafted, the building materials were not of the very highest quality as they had been in the other house. The furnishings were just as elegant, but looked to be less expensive reproductions. Wondering at the change of quality, Gaara followed Neji past the common rooms, into what appeared to be Neji's private quarters.

"There are so many of us around, sometimes it's difficult to find a quiet place to talk," Neji explained.

"Sure," Shukaku snickered. "I doubt that was his real motivation for bringing you to his bedroom. I have to hand it to him, he sure doesn't waste much time."

"You shut up," Gaara silently commanded the demon. He delayed the explanation for visiting, as well as the following conversation that he didn't want to have, by examining the contents of Neji's room.

Not that there was much in the way of contents. The furniture was functional and uninteresting. Gaara guessed that the two chests against one wall would contain everything Neji owned in the way of clothing, scrolls and weaponry. It looked like this were a guest room, and Neji had not bothered unpacking because he hadn't planned to stay long.

"Or perhaps all his belongings were moved out, in anticipation of his upcoming marriage," suggested Shukaku.

The only personal touch Gaara could find in the room was a tiny glass jar sitting on the nightstand, filled with sand that danced and swirled. The sand in Gaara's gourd made a pleased hum of recognition.

"It looks a lot like my room," Gaara finally offered a comment.

"Empty and boring?" Neji guessed. When Gaara looked at him in askance, Neji shrugged. "It's the Hyuuga household, but for some reason, it has never really felt like home. So I've never bothered decorating. You?"

"I don't spend much time in my bedroom," Gaara said. "I don't sleep, so there isn't much point to. Temari says I should just remake the room into an office, since I spend more time doing paperwork."

"You didn't come all the way here to talk about my taste in decorating, did you." It wasn't a question.

Gaara's gaze focused on the little jar of sand on the nightstand, rather than look at Neji. "TenTen came to talk to me today."

"Oh?" Neji sounded genuinely surprised, as if he couldn't imagine what his teammate would want to talk to Gaara about.

"She told me you were getting married."

"Oh." No denial, no reassurance, no explanation. Just, "Oh."

Gaara slanted a glance at Neji, but the Hyuuga's expression was unreadable. "Are you?"

Neji blew out a soft sigh. "Maybe."

"Maybe?" demanded Shukaku. "What kind of answer is 'maybe'? Either he is or he isn't."

"It hasn't been decided on officially," Neji explained, as if answering Shukaku. "Whenever the clan elders have a meeting, the topic comes up. They debate it for a while, then put off the final decision for another time. I've been asked my thoughts on the matter, but that's a mere formality."

When the silence stretched and Neji offered nothing further, Gaara asked, "What are your thoughts on the matter?"

Neji said nothing at first, and Gaara thought perhaps he wouldn't answer. Then, "If my father had been born first, before his brother, I would be the future head of the Hyuuga clan. Because he was not born first, I was fated for the Branch side of the family, long before I was even conceived. When I discovered that was the way things were, that I could never aspire to anything higher in my clan hierarchy, I resented it deeply. So I trained and fought and honed every skill and talent I had, because… well, I'm not so sure why, anymore. Because I was angry. Because I wanted my family to recognize me as worthy. Because I wanted to make them sorry that they had marked me as… inferior.

"And I guess it worked. They sure notice me now. I've impressed them, and they want to make me a part of that inner circle, the Main branch. Marriage to Hanabi would bring me as close to the top as I could ever get." Neji laughed, though there was no humor to it. "But it's too late. They've already marked me with my inferiority, for everyone to see if they know where to look. Hanabi would know. Despite a marriage between us, she would always see me as less than her. Inferior. I do not wish to marry someone who would not see me as an equal."

"You've told your elders this?"

"In the politest, most gracious manner possible, yes." Neji shrugged. "I imagine they've asked Hanabi as well, and likely she replied, just as politely, that she did not wish an alliance with someone so far beneath her. Neither opinion will matter in the end, of course. If they decide the marriage is best for the Hyuuga clan, then Hanabi and I will do what we were born to do. We will do what is best for the family."

Gaara said nothing at first. He knew he should leave now. Declare the mission a failure, cut his losses, and leave. He could let Temari pick the target next time, and they would research the new target's background a little before proceeding, to make sure there were no arranged marriages or family complications to get in the way. He would proceed with a new target, a new mission, and forget all about Neji. Forget Neji's warmth, forget Neji's kisses, forget the view of the stars Neji had shown him, forget Neji's acceptance of the monster within Gaara.

"Good luck with that," Shukaku said snidely. "You've never been good at forgetting."

Gaara should leave. Say nothing, and leave. Neji didn't look at him, and said nothing more, as if he were expecting Gaara to leave, as well. It was a curious expression on Neji's face. It was a sadness, perhaps, and an acceptance of the way things were. He would not fight, would not argue with his clan's elders when they decided to marry him to someone he did not want. In his mind, the deed was as good as done.

So where did Gaara fit into this?

"Why did you say yes?" Gaara asked the silence, making Neji's gaze snap to him. "TenTen said you said no to everyone, but yes to me. Why?"

A sad smile curved Neji's lips. "I told you why."

"That answer is no longer acceptable. I want to know your real reason." Had to know. Gaara couldn't explain why, but he had to know.

"Because of this." Neji reached out, and when Gaara made no move to stop him, Neji's fingertips brushed against Gaara's scar, the kanji for love, that he'd carved out of hatred.

Gaara flinched involuntarily at the touch, and Neji withdrew his hand. "I don't understand."

"I've heard your story," Neji said. "You've sworn to love no one but yourself. I don't know who put you up to asking me out, or why, but I knew you didn't ask me because you loved me, or could ever love me. And so, I knew I couldn't hurt you. When I have to end this, it won't break your heart. That's why I said yes. You'll go back to your village, and for you, it'll be like this never happened."

"And for you?" Gaara demanded. "Does this mean nothing to you, as well?"

"Oh, it's very real to me," said Neji, smiling wistfully. "I'll have the memories of this to keep with me. That's all I wanted. A pleasant memory of being with someone that I chose for myself."

And it hadn't mattered who that someone was. Gaara had just been convenient. He told himself it didn't matter what Neji's reasons had been. After all, Gaara himself had picked Neji randomly out of the crowd, for no more reason than Neji really was rather pretty. So really, it shouldn't matter why Neji had said yes, only that he had.

For some inexplicable reason, it did matter.

The mission was unsalvageable. The target was inaccessible. Gaara could see now that pursuing it any further would only end in failure. There was nothing more to say, nothing to be done. Gaara turned to go, and Neji didn't stop him.

It was still raining outside. Gaara absently noted that as he left the Hyuuga compound, though he didn't bother to find any cover. The sentries said nothing to him as he exited. Gaara headed back in the vague direction of his hotel, though he didn't much bother to look where he was going.

The pattering of rain on Gaara stopped abruptly as someone held an umbrella over his head. Gaara looked up from his feet to Naruto's smiling face.

"I doubt your sand shield can protect you from pneumonia," Naruto said. "Come inside and dry off before you get sick."

Gaara had never been sick before, and wasn't even sure if he could get sick, but he followed Naruto out of the rain anyway. It seemed like a good alternative to returning to the hotel, and explaining to his siblings about the mission's failure. They'd expect him to pick a new target, and he just didn't know if he could do that.

Naruto's apartment was very different from the Hyuuga home. None of the furniture matched, and most of it looked to be worn-out. Photos of Naruto and his friends were tacked up on the walls haphazardly. A pan had been placed on the floor to catch the water leaking from the ceiling.

"Ya hungry?" Naruto asked. "I've got some instant ramen…"

"I don't like ramen."

"Since you're my friend, I'm going to pretend you never said that." Naruto didn't so much sit as flop down onto one of the overstuffed chairs in the living room. "Want to tell me why you were out moping in the rain?"

"I wasn't moping."

"You're right; sulking probably would be a better word for it." Naruto blatantly ignored Gaara's glower. "Does this have something to do with Neji?"

It had everything to do with Neji. "He's getting married," Gaara said simply. "To his cousin, Hanabi."

"No way!" Naruto leapt up from his seat. "You're not going to let him, are you?"

"Why shouldn't I? It has nothing to do with me." Not anymore. Neji had made that clear enough.

"Like hell it doesn't," said Naruto. "You're in love with him."

Gaara fixed a glare on Naruto, one that made most everyone in his home village cower in fear. Naruto, of course, was immune. "I keep telling everyone, I don't love him."

"Do too," Naruto countered. "I was there when you went all demon, just because you thought he'd gotten injured, remember? You're totally ga-ga over the guy, admit it."

Gaara was not familiar with the term "ga-ga," but whatever it meant, he wasn't. "That was an accident. It doesn't mean I love him. I don't."

"You so do!"

"I do not." Gaara's voice rose, and the sand hissed in its gourd, sensing Gaara's agitation.

Only Naruto could be so totally oblivious to the danger he was provoking. "Do too, do too, do too!"

"Let me crush him," Shukaku begged. "Please? Just a little bit? I'll only break half of his ribs, I promise."

There was a short knock at the door, then whoever it was let themselves in. "Naruto, you home?" Gaara vaguely recognized the voice, but couldn't quite place it. Someone he'd met at the chuunin exams…

Naruto brightened with excitement, rushing to the entryway to greet them. "You wait here," he called back at Gaara over his shoulder. "We'll continue this in a sec."

"Not if he wants to live," Shukaku grumbled. "Go out the window before he gets back. I'm sick of listening to his idiocy."

"Shikamaru!" Naruto's voice carried from the other room. "Tell Gaara he's in denial."

"You tell him," was Shikamaru's immediate reply.

"I did tell him," Naruto said. "He doesn't believe me!"

Shikamaru, was it? That was interesting. Gaara didn't remember much about him, except that he had managed to defeat Temari in the chuunin exam finals, and that every time Gaara had seen Shikamaru outside of the arena, he had been with Naruto. They had been children then, but they were older now. Perhaps this Shikamaru was Naruto's secret boyfriend?

"Sounds smart to me. I wouldn't believe you, either," Shikamaru was saying. "Hey, don't give me that face. I just got here, and I have no idea what you're babbling about."

Gaara heard Naruto make some sound of exasperation. "Gaara's in the other room, and he's depressed."

"No kidding?" Shikamaru said. "How unusual."

Naruto either didn't catch the sarcasm, or he ignored it. "I keep telling him he's in love with Neji, but he keeps saying he's not."

"Well, maybe he isn't."

"He is! I know he is, and he's going to make himself miserable if he won't own up to it," said Naruto. "Help me convince him."

"No way, I am not getting dragged into some stupid matchmaking scheme of yours," said Shikamaru. "Remember when you were trying to set up Lee and Hinata?"

"Hey, it worked, didn't it?"

"Half the village ended up covered in shaving cream."

"That was an accident," said Naruto. "Besides, it was fun. And Lee and Hinata did end up dating."

"I'm not helping with this one. Too troublesome."

Naruto was silent a moment. Then, "I'll do that thing you like."

"You did that yesterday."

"The other thing," Naruto said. "With the clones."

"…How many clones?"

"Three."

"Five," Shikamaru countered.

"Deal!"

Shikamaru sighed. "Fine. But I still think this is lame." He wandered into the room where Gaara was waiting, shrugging off his jounin vest and tossing it over the arm of a chair, before taking a seat. "Naruto thinks you're in love with Neji. Are you?"

"No."

Shikamaru nodded slowly. "Maybe you'd better start from the beginning."

So Gaara did. He told him about how his brother and sister had all but begged him to find a date, and how Gaara had picked Neji out of the crowds. He told about his first date, and looking at the stars with Neji. He told about sneaking into the Forest of Death, and Neji's acceptance of the monster within Gaara, and the creature killing spree that had followed. He told about almost letting Shukaku loose when Neji had come back from his mission all bloody, about kissing Neji for the first time, about discovering Neji was engaged. He told about how Neji had known all along that Gaara couldn't love him, and choosing him because of it. And when he had finished telling everything, Shikamaru just sat back and looked thoughtful.

"Well," said Shikamaru, "sounds like love to me."

"I don't love him," Gaara said. "I can't love him."

"You just spent the last," Shikamaru glanced at the clock, "hour talking about nothing but Neji. Sounds like you spent the last couple days thinking of nothing but him. You're pissed at his family for trying to breed him like an animal, and you're hurt that he doesn't see you as anything but a casual fling. Your sand has the hots for him, and your demon alternately wants to mate him, maim him, or kill for him."

"…is that love?"

"If it isn't, it's a good imitation. Though," Shikamaru said thoughtfully, "I've never really pegged you for the type to do anything part way. It's all or nothing for you. I think this is the real deal."

"I… love him?" It was strange to say the words, strange to feel his heart flutter when he said it. The sand sighed in its gourd, hopeful, lovesick. "I love him."

Gaara closed his eyes and fought against the rising flood of emotion, the proof to his words. He was in love. And he was doomed.