Author Note: 'Allo! Anyone care to remember me? Well. . . I'm back and am trying to get back on schedule fanfiction wise. I completed my NaNoWriMo with a total of 51,667 words and am rather proud of myself beams . . and err. . that kind of happened a month ago, but I have been really stressed out lately.

Any who, I decided to update this story first and will be working on updating Life Debt for all my readers who choose not to review this story but like my others. Speaking of reviews, Twinkle22 gets the gold star award for being supportive of this one.

Enjoy,

TheDragonEye

The definition of Love

There was a sense of uneasiness between Erik and Raoul as they returned home to pack up their things from their dorm. Raoul was leaving, and he was just telling them now about it. Three days was an impeccably short amount of time and yet there was so much the two of them had promised to do one day but were never going to finish now. Just thinking of it made Erik saddened when he should have been happy for his friend. He just could not find the cheer at the moment to do anything, especially pack up the place that had been his home for three years. He never would see Raoul again, no matter what he had said. It was just something you could tell. His mind would be clouded from his father's work proposal and with starting a family all his own. Christine would be gone and even if she did think of him, she would be too far away to see him ever again.

He was to be alone in the world once more. Just like the time before that fated day in the music room when Christine had found his poor lonesome figure wasting away on the piano.

He felt as though he would bring up his stomach, and he could not even recall what he had eaten earlier that day when he tasted a bit of bile in his mouth. He shook his head a few times, he could not make himself sick now. Not with only three days to go before Raoul would leave him. There would go his confidence then as well. He had been certain that his relationship with Christine had been purely as a strong and best friend, but as the years pasted he could feel it developing into something much, much more. He loved her.

He loved her more than the sister she claimed to be to him, and he did not know if she would ever return such feelings back to him, especially now with her plans so firmly set on going to America. Erik looked over to Raoul, who also seemed to have his eyes glazed over in thought. Would his friend even stay in Italy when he got there? Or would he vanish into the great wide somewhere of the world? Italy really was not too far from France, right? America was, and it would have been out of his range of money, he had to start paying back student loans as well. Would troubles never cease for him? He had no job offers, only because he failed to even bother to look for some. People could not see past his face and just accept his talent. It was just so difficult. No one could understand, and his outside family of just Raoul and Christine were going, going, going, and soon to be gone. No one could ever see past the mask on his face, especially to the students on campus who knew what lay beneath it.

He remembered that night, perhaps a little too much for his liking:

April 28th: two years earlier-

Raoul always seemed to be invited to parties. People on campus always managed to find a reason to celebrate something. And Raoul, of course managed to drag both Erik and Christine along when he got the chance. Half because he did not know what to do among half the people he didn't know, and who knew if he would be safe coming back to the dorm after being drunk and around all the more drunks.

This party was just for the hell of it, held in building 'C' dorm by none other than Joseph Bouquet. He was the one guy you never wanted to be around alone, especially if you were a female. He had an insatiable appetite for pleasure and seemed to flaunt it without a care in the world. One of those guys who thought college was just for screwing about. But either way, people always seemed to want to go to his parties. Why? Free beer, free stress relief from studying, and you did not want to turn down being invited. You would simply look like a wimp.

So the three of them had wound up going on Raoul's pestering and soon were all too welcome by Joseph into the dorm room. Erik of course noticed him ogling Christine, but who didn't? She was such a beauty. One that he knew he would do anything to have. What lay under his mask had been a secret. One kept between himself, Raoul, and Christine when they arrived on campus. It would just make things easier for Erik. Though that secrecy prevented him from actually making any other friends, if no one could tolerate being around him, imagine with his mask off!

The night had been nothing new, a party was a party, all of them the same unless something positively happened that was bran spanking new and was a hit. And. . well. .with Bouquet, you could always predict something would go wrong: Cops being called, fires, you know. . "normal" things. Well, this was the top of them all. For it was half way through the night– and everyone had drunk enough to get well, people acting odd. Beyond common sense and care. Even Erik himself must have been on his third glass of beer when he was tapped on the shoulder and he turned around. It seemed as though the world went into slow motion and he was paralyzed to do anything about it. A hand shot out and seized the edge of his black mask and pried it off his face to reveal his horrible birth defection.

The world seemed to stop and everything went silent for a split second, a few beer cans dropped to the floor and Erik was the center of attention in a manner that he did not want to be. Oh horror, horror, horror. The looks on their faces. Some jeers, other disgust, others just unreadable in a cross between shock and the need to just judge him now. Everything he had ever done in the past two years on campus were gone, out the window and the mental image of what he once was- perhaps even seemingly handsome with his mask on had vanished. Now replaced with the monster on the exterior he had long since masked.

His mind screamed at him to leave and he did in fact start for the door. Things are not easily put at rest though, and even with him in the room was when he heard the rumors being conjured up and the nasty words said about him. He couldn't even hear Christine or Raoul above the roar of the noise: all about him and his distortion. They said they had called to him, but he had not heard. His heartbeat was in his ears, emotions swimming through his head and he knew he would be sick.

Dorm building C was soon far behind him and he doubled over on the ground as realization sunk in. He was alone then. Alone, and revealed. He had never even thought to grab his mask, and the cold air attacked his face with a stinging fury. The constant time of wearing his mask had rubbed his face raw and made the skin blistered under his eye and around his forehead. Everyone knew what he was now. A freak. To think he had just been a recluse, semi-outcast before. Now he was demoted lower then that. Lower than Bouquet's level even!

The beer came up and he was glad he hadn't bothered to sit up or else he would have gotten sick over himself. Why him? Why was it always him? Could he never win, or be happy and accepted everywhere he went?

"Erik?"asked after noticing his friend's silence. "You seem distant. ." Raoul knew why, but perhaps it was better to hear Erik say it for himself. "Anything I can do?"

Erik looked over to his friend and shook his head, that was when he first realized his feet had sub-consciously led him back to their dorm room. "No. . just, be happy, alright?" he didn't want to ruin anything that might have been eased in the past few hours.

It was reality. Nothing could change. He could not stop Christine from perusing her dreams which he was not a part of after she boarded her plane. He would not be in Raoul's way either. He. . would just be alone.

"I'll be alright."

Erik shivered and sat up, he had been emptying his stomach so harshly to the point of creating tears which rolled down his cheeks. He was scarcely aware of the hand that was placed on his shoulder and then wrapping under his arm to begin to tug him to his feet. He slowly looked up, and there was Christine, his mask in her free hand.

"R-raoul stayed behind. . trying to get them all to just. . shut up. ." she spoke, having a hard time wording around what had happened.

But they both knew what had happened. It was over and Erik's life would be hell for the next two years. People hated what they feared or disliked. He fell into both categories.

"Let's go get you back to your dorm. . I'll stay with you until Raoul gets back, ok?"

Erik could only nod, and he knew all the more. . he loved her. Loved her not as a brother, not as a friend. But he wanted to love her as a lover would. In every single way.

Erik sighed as he tugged off his shirt and let it fall lazily on to a half packed suitcase. He would make the best of what he could, and who knew? Things could always turn out for the better.

"Raoul?"

"E–yeah?"

"Your fiancé, you said you knew her when you were younger?"

Raoul nodded, "Since I was three. Then I wrote back and forth to her."

"How do you know you are in love with her, even if you just only write to her?"

"It's just a feeling, Erik. There is no way to describe love. But just the way she writes her words on the paper. . it convinces me. And when I see her in person. . it's a euphoria that takes control of me and makes me forget about everything but her."

"That's how you know?"

"That's how I know." Raoul replied with a smile, "You will know when you meet the one you love."

Erik nodded and threw himself heavily on the bed, "Like I'll have a chance with any woman in the world." his hand reached up and tapped his mask before rolling on to his side, turning off his light.

"You will see, Erik. There is someone out there for everyone. You have more of a chance then you think. Some people aren't shallow." another light flicked out leaving the room in darkness, shadows casting everywhere.

Erik sighed and nodded more to himself, "Good night."

"'Night."

"Christine. . I'd rather you stayed the whole night." Erik whispered as they slowly made their way back to his dorm. Christine looked down at Erik and brushed his damp bangs out of his face.

"Alright."

Her touch lit a fire to his body, and a sense of drugging euphoria came over him. It eased some of the night's events and he was able to carry himself a bit better.

This was love.

Ending Note: Ok, short, but it revealed a bit more about Erik's past and how he came from friend situation with Christine to loving her. Hope you like it.

Merry Christmas, Kwanza, whatever holiday you celebrate etc. etc. Reviews would make an excellent Christmas present for me hint hint

Expect more writings from me after the holidays.

TheDragonEye