Brother's Keeper

Notes: The Elvish written here is in Quenya. By all rights, it should be Sindarin, but I don't know Sindarin. I may change it at some future date, but until then it's Quenya. Translation is at the bottom. The yoga terms are from Sanskrit, and (not being into yoga myself) the translations came from a website I found. So don't blame me if it's wrong.

Just to head off the barrage of "Yoga!?! Why the hell is Todd doing yoga?" type of questions: He's doing it because I felt he needed an outlet for all the stress he's under (other than imagining Haldir's head during target practice, that is). Plus, I wanted something he and Haldir could do together. It gives Haldir a stress outlet as well. They're taking a long trip, and I don't want them killing each other along the way. Plus, Yoga isn't too much of a leap from martial arts, so it's not totally bizarre.

Part 7

I watched Legolas paddling downstream until he rounded a corner and was out of site. Haldir was waiting for me when I got back to camp. He looked pissed, but I was too depressed to really care.

"Whaddya want?" I growled, hoping he would be quick about it.

He gave me a contemptuous look, and then pointed to a nearby tree. A bow and quiver were leaning against the trunk. I recognized them as Legolas's old gear.

"He wanted you to keep them in his stead," Haldir said. Somehow I got the impression that Hal didn't think I deserved them.

I picked up the quiver and traced the lines of gold filigree with my finger. "Thanks," I muttered as I sat down against the tree.

Haldir raised an eyebrow. "No retorts? No scathing words? No foul language?"

I rolled my eyes at him. "No, Hal. No retorts, scathing words, or foul language. I can be polite every once in a while, can't I?"

"Indeed." He turned and left me by myself.

In front of me was the plate of grapes I hadn't finished. I picked it up and began popping grapes into my mouth, even though I still wasn't hungry. I was almost finished when a group of elves showed up. I recognized some of them from yesterday's karate lessons.

"We are here for more lessons," a spokesman(elf?) said.

Seeing that I really didn't have anything better to do, I started the new ones throwing each other around and started the others with some punching and blocking techniques. By lunch, everyone had graduated to proper kicking postures, and large, thick pillows had been found to serve as punching/kicking bags.

"What will we practice after lunch?" the spokeself asked.

"Archery," I replied, stretching my sore limbs.

A voice rang behind me, "We already know archery."

I turned to see Haldir leading a troupe of elves into the camp. The troupe set up a table and benches and set out lunch. Haldir just stared smugly at me.

"Well, I think it would be obvious from my performance yesterday, that I don't--" I stopped myself before I could call him "orc-breath." Legs and Aragorn weren't around to run damage control, and Haldir had a big-ass sword strapped to his hip. I wasn't taking chances at the moment.

However, Hal seemed to catch the unspoken insult. "Your politeness has waned, it seems."

"Piss off, Hal. You weren't invited." I snatched an apple from the table and bit into it viciously. A vivid picture of me ripping out Haldir's throat sprang to mind.

Haldir frowned at me. "It is not your place to invite anyone anywhere here. This is not your realm," he said imperiously. He sat at the table (on the end, so his sword could dangle comfortably) and began eating, chatting with the other elves in their native tongue, and completely ignoring me.

I could only glare at the back of his head. I had gotten his message loud and clear: This is my territory, and I can do anything, anywhere, anytime I damn well please. If you don't like it, tough shit.

Twice now in the same day, Haldir had managed to ruin my appetite, and for the second time I had to force myself to finish eating. I sat at the opposite end of the table where I couldn't see Haldir unless I leaned back far enough to fall off the bench. The elves next to me tried engaging me in conversation, but I ignored them in favor of stuffing my face as quickly as I could. They seemed to marvel at my rate of consumption.

"You will make yourself ill," one of them said.

I grabbed a pitcher of wine and took a few long gulps. I then turned to the elf who had expressed concern for me. "No, I won't. I'm used to eating this way." It was the truth. One of my old drill instructors, Sgt. Manning, would scream at us during meals, "Eat now! You'll taste it later!" We were expected to inhale food as fast as possible, so we could get to wherever we were supposed to be going next.

I hiccupped, and the world swirled for moment. I shook my head and put the pitcher down. Then again, we usually chugged water or soda in the cafeteria.

After inhaling two full plates of food, some wine, and some water, I grabbed Legolas's old bow and quiver and set off for the archery range. My karate students seemed more than eager to teach me the weapon, but Hal still looked ready to burn the items rather than let me have them.

My students turned into my teachers as they gently corrected my posture and arm positions. By evening, I was actually hitting the target at the end of the range.

Unlike yesterday, Haldir wasn't shouting elvish insults. He stood silently to the side watching me like a hawk. It was a little disconcerting at first, but I just ignored him and listened to my teachers' advice. Eventually, I was hitting the bull's-eye. However most of the time, it was because I was picturing Hal's head in place of the target.

When night fell, I was very sore and tired from the day's activities. Everyone (except Hal) bade me goodnight and left me alone at camp to sleep. Hal followed me back and stood watching as I unrolled a blanket to sleep on.

Finally sick of his silence, I turned to him. "Is there something you want?"

He raised an eyebrow, but didn't answer. Instead, he crossed to where I had set down Legolas's bow and picked it up. I took a step to grab it back, but without looking at me, he said, "There is more to archery than simply learning to shoot. You must take proper care of your bow." With that, he unstrung it, put it back where I had it, and left.

More restless dreams came to me that night. People were leaving, saying goodbye, and me wanting them to stay. Celeborn casually announcing that he had no use for a mortal in his kingdom, and Haldir happily shooting me in the face. The old man, Gandalf, briefly appeared with a wizened smile. "You will be ready," he said before slipping back into darkness.

I awoke to the sounds of breakfast being set. My students liked dining with me, it seemed. After breakfast, we did more karate, then lunch. We were on our way to the archery range, when another elf ran up to us. He seemed very excited and hurriedly tossed off a few words before running along the path, shouting "Mithrandir! Mithrandir epélië![1]"

I tried to ask what he said, but the others were talking excitedly amongst themselves with much laughing and hugging. Whatever the news was, it was good. I just wished someone would share it with me.

Still talking and laughing, they all scurried off into the trees and left me by myself. Feeling a little abandoned, I trudged on to the archery range to practice.

As evening fell, I noticed that there were no elves around. Not that there were very many around ground level normally, but they were quite distinctly missing now. Of course, I could hear exactly where they were...up in the treetops, laughing and singing merrily. With the absence of the sight of elves came the abundant sounds of their joyful voices lifted in song.

The happier they were, the more depressed I became. I was sitting in camp, feeling miserable because they seemed to have forgotten me entirely. They didn't even remember to bring my dinner. A mostly-empty pitcher of wine remained from lunch, and I still had a few M&Ms left, but that was it.

To add to my ill mood, Haldir decided to show up.

"Your presence is requested by the Lord and Lady of the Wood," he said as he dumped a new set of clothes at my feet.

These were the same as the other clothes they had given me, but in shades of royal blue this time, and more importantly, they were clean. I changed and followed Haldir back up into the trees. We spiraled up the staircases and paths that led back to the palacial house where Celeborn and Galadriel lived.

As I entered, a group of elves ushered a white figure up further into the house. Everyone was still in happy moods. Even Celeborn was smiling.

"Good evening, your majesties," I greeted them with a slight bow.

They both inclined their heads in response. "Indeed a very good evening, Todd Blackburn," Celeborn said. "Though, you may not find it quite so anymore."

My heart skipped a beat, and my mind flashed back to my dream last night of Celeborn ordering my execution. I glanced at Galadriel. She was smiling beatifically, and I calmed a little.

Celeborn continued. "It is decided that you, a mortal, have no place in an Elven kingdom."

My heart skipped two beats, then began racing. Celeborn motioned behind me, and Haldir stepped forward and bowed.

"Your best hopes for a fruitful future lie in a realm of Men. Haldir will lead you southward to the kingdom of Rohan, where you may be amongst your own kind."

I suppressed a shuddering sigh (as well as the obvious and stupid question "So you're not going to kill me?") from escaping my lips. I managed a nod and a mumbled thank you.

"But before you go," said Galadriel, "we must apologize for our lack of hospitality this evening. Joyous news has come to us, and though it is of little importance to you, it caused us to forget you momentarily. We do beg your forgiveness for our oversight."

I smiled at her. "Nothing to forgive, your majesty. I haven't died of starvation yet."

"Thank you," she replied with her own beautiful smile. "Will you accept an invitation to join us for a late supper?"

"Of course, your majesty," I immediately answered, but quickly looked over at Celeborn, "If I'm not intruding, that is..."

He inclined his head graciously. "Of course not."

We went deeper into the house and were served a lavish meal. Talk was moderate and quiet. I was too distracted by the pure beauty of the house and its views of the forest to really concentrate on conversation. Thankfully for my sense of modesty, it also distracted me enough so that I didn't stuff my face like a rabid wolf in front of my hosts.

After supper, I went back to my little spot between the tree roots and began some yoga. The previous few days of exercise had me very sore, and my worrying about the future and getting home had me very stressed. Yoga worked best for me to sooth both areas.

I was in a warrior pose when Haldir walked up. "What are you doing?"

I glanced up at him. He had an expression of perplexity and amusement on his face. Rather than answer, I shifted into a forward bend and let myself melt into the pose.

"You will not answer me?"

I shifted again into a twist posture. "It's called yoga. I like to think of it as physical meditation - the simultaneous relaxation and intensification of body and mind."

Haldir eyed me. "And this does not hurt?"

It was my turn to be amused. The twist posture put my arms and legs into a tangled mess. So I guess I did look a little strange. "Yoga only hurts if you do it wrong. This is called Ardha Matsyendrdsana - 'Twisted Half Fish Pose.'"

"And what does the other half look like?"

I laughed softly. "Like this..." I laid myself flat (leaving my hips, legs and head on the ground), arched my chest up, and put my hands behind my back. "Matsyasana - 'Fish Pose.'"

"That does not hurt your head?" He was almost incredulous now.

However, I was so relaxed I was almost asleep. "No...doesn't hurt. Strong head, strong neck, and the weight should be mostly on the shoulders anyway."

"Teach me."

I cracked an eye open to look at him. Well, he looks serious, I thought. "Mmmm...not tonight. It's late, we're going to get an early start tomorrow, and I'm almost asleep anyway." I shifted into Savasana (Corpse Pose) and, putting words into action, fell asleep.

[1] Gandalf! Gandalf has returned!