Author note: A thank-you go out to:

Twinkle22

Erik'sTrueAngel

Nyasia A. Maire

Lady Wen

Timeflies

Gracias muchas por reviewing(still is bad at Spanish). I'm really glad for those who review! Sorry for slow updates. AP Euro exam in. . . 2 weeks! Eeeeeek! Yeah, I'm blaming school a lot. But to any of those who take AP classes then you understand. . right?

And this chapter entitles more of Erik's past and is based off an impeccably difficult song to find from a Phantom adaptation (even if you search it, it will not come up that's how difficult it is to find), so here you go.

TheDragonEye

The Things You Never Told Me

"Good evening, Christine!" Erik gave a smile as he opened the door for the young woman. She gave him a small peck on the cheek and gave a similar greeting before entering his apartment when she gave a low whistle.

"I take it you're paying for only the best?" she asked as she looked about. "Your musical must be a real success for you to afford it. To think, we were all a bit struggling back in college just to make it through, maybe not Raoul, but it's possible with his parents trying to pay for both siblings. Hah, look at me, I've rambled off and you have only gotten to say two words while. .erm never mind. How are you today since this early afternoon, Erik?" she asked, a grinning smile never leaving her face.

"I'm good Christine. It's still is good to see you again, I dear hope you can help me out as to where we should go out tonight. I fear I do not know my way about New York City. Ask me about London though and I can navigate it. But, yes, Nirvana was indeed a success over there. I only hope for the same achievement here."

Christine merely shrugged, "I do think I can figure out somewhere to go. Don't get your hopes up though." She spoke and laughed when Erik gave a puzzled look and he understood she was merely joking. Her tone had almost made it seem like she was being serious.

"So. . we'll be off?" Erik asked and Christine nodded, grabbing his hand and leading him towards the door.

"I do hope you learned to dance in the time we've been apart." Christine replied, once more he grin flashing beautifully at him when her words finally sunk in.

"Uh. . yeah. .I think?" he asked and shook his head before following after her, the door to his hotel room being pulled shut with a click. "Actually, you might be surprised." He spoke with a knowing smirk, "Or you might be rather disappointed."

Christine's face reflected his before and she whacked his arm. "What ever happened to being creative?" she asked and he simply shrugged. "Not at the moment. Let's just go."

The place Christine chose was quite classy, but not, which made Erik assume that more happened there after ten and dinner hours then what met the eye. Very casual at the same time and Erik wondered if all places were like this and transformed when night fell. A bit different from Europe where most just had a distinct theme and feeling. Christine took a seat as she waited for their number to be called after reserving a table. The woman had said it would be about a fifteen minute wait and Erik could indeed wait that, it gave him time to talk to Christine after all and he took a seat next to her.

"Looks like a nice place." He commented, once more looking about and then towards the windows where he could see outside and into the streets.

"It is, and their food is to die for."

"I thought you were talking about dancing before." He replied as he turned back to look at her.

She rolled her eyes, "You cannot dance on an empty stomach, perhaps for you, you cannot dance either without a good drink in you. Plus, when was the last time you had a good meal?" she continued even when he opened his mouth to speak. "Honestly, Erik. I do believe there are many thin women who are jealous of your size. You're not anorexic are you?" she asked in jest and shook her head. "You work too much, I can just tell."

"Well it is a bit hard not to work a lot when you made this musical and play such a role in the producing it and all these legal rights and contracts and watching auditions and-"

"I get the point Erik, stop showing off." She laughed and grabbed his chin when he opened his mouth. "Stop, I know you all too well, no apologizing, alright?"

"Yeah, yeah." He grumbled, taking her hand and moving it away from his face. Sure, he didn't mind the relaxed and friendly atmosphere between the two of them. But it was just how two siblings would act towards one another, he was falling deeper into that category, wasn't he? He remembered back when she had put her hand gently under his chin to inspect the cuts and bruises on his face from the cruel children in school. It seemed like it had been a lot more care back then.

"Erik? Something wrong?" she waved a hand in front of his face. "You were staring and nothing."

The man blinked a few times and nodded, "I'm fine, just thinking about everything that happened today. I mean. .I never imagined to find you here and so quickly!" he forced a smile.

"Yes, well, I guess luck comes when it comes." She shrugged and stood up. "Come on, they called out number."

Erik followed after both Christine and the waiter and took the opposite side from Christine when they got to the table.

"Did you know this is one of Bobby Flay's restaurants?" Christine asked and Erik shook his head.

"Bobby Flay?"

"The owner of this restaurant, famous chef?" she asked and frowned when Erik still looked blank, "Iron chef? Throw downs? BBQ with Bobby Flay or Boy meets Grill? Ring any bells?" she asked and sighed when he once more shook his head. "You seriously need to watch T.V. I am suggesting you do." She smiled. "Maybe the food channel will make you eat a bit more."

"You sound like my mother. . .or what she should have sounded like. . ." he whispered and fell silent, gazing over the menu in front of him.

Christine did the same and placed her order with the waiter when he came back and left once more. She continued to hold her tongue until the waiter brought them both back the dinner wines they had ordered and disappeared once more. She knew it would be a bit until the food was ready so she spoke once more. "Erik, you and I have been friends for a long time. But, now that I think about it. . I've told you my past and family, Raoul has told you his, but you really have not said anything about the time before when I found you playing the piano alone."

Erik set down the glass of wine he had been sipping on, his lips tainted slightly red from it. Christine could almost see how visibly his expression changed, even from underneath his mask. His green-golden eyes darkened over into a almost forest green and his lips drew back as his fists clenched into hands on the table, one of them gripping the table itself before sliding down against his knee. Christine could only wonder what turmoil in his mind her words had caused. "Erik?" she whispered and reached across to lay her hand on his tense fist. "I'm sorry, I mean, if you don't want to talk about it. ."

Talk about it? Now, here? Why of all times was she beginning to question his past now? His lips drew into a scowl and he looked away from her, drawing his hand away from her gentle touch.

"Erik, please do say something. I'm sorry if I hurt you I'm sorry. But. . it's a . . like a brick wall. Me and Raoul, sure, we always are your friends, but it's impossible to know how you really feel, what you are always thinking. It's impossible to read you. I have always been worried about that. Even now look how you recede. Something wrong could be going on right now and you'd never tell, no one would ever know either. Especially if you are still hurting from something more that had happened back then."

So much for a nice night out. Erik drummed his fingers on his knee cap before once more it clutched into a fist and he looked back at her.

"My past is nothing to speak of, it's nothing to know of."

"I want to know. . Erik, please."

Once more Erik fell into a lapse of silence and glanced about the restaurant. He couldn't not tell her, especially since his feelings towards her. Maybe this was a barrier keeping her from loving him? "Not here!" he said in a gruff voice. He could not say anything out in a restaurant especially something so undisclosed as his past.

Christine couldn't hide her look of shock at his rough tone and knew she had hit a knot in Erik. Maybe if she had gone into psychology instead of music and acting as a major then she could better understand why he was acting so very defensive. He hadn't said anything more, and she wondered if he was still thinking about what she had said. He didn't let things go easy, did he?

When the waiter returned with the food the silence had lasted for about twenty minutes, Erik seemed to not be minding it, but Christine was squirming under the tension. See? It was impossible to read Erik's look now that he had dropped his gaze to his food and begun to eat. Christine half heartedly picked over her food, once in a while looking up towards Erik and giving a small smile, but he didn't look up so he wouldn't have seen her attempts to cheer him up.

Finally Christine pushed her plate away and shook her head, putting a hand to her forehead. But a voice pulled her from her thoughts that had almost made her begun to think that she had ruined there friendships.

"Christine. . there are too many things to say."

Erik slowly pushed open the door to his apartment and sat down on the bed after carelessly flinging off his coat and kicking off his shoes, leaving them where they landed. His back rested to the headboard and he winced at the change of light as Christine flipped on the light switch.

"I never knew you to be messy." She remarked as she picked up his black jacket from off the floor.

"You haven't seen me in so long." He retorted simply. "I've picked up the habit of not caring from my job and I really don't care."

"Erik. . "

"Don't lecture me, Christine!"

She gave a faint nod and looked down at his jacket in her hands, carefully setting it down on the chair in the room. Christine slowly moved to sit down at the foot of the bed, staying far enough away but yet still close.

"You still want to know? Curiosity killed the cat, Christine." Erik sighed and rubbed the back of his head after giving it two thumps against the headboard behind himself.

"I want to know. I'm just hear to listen, Erik. You want to get this off your chest. It will be one less burden that you won't need, especially with all the work you'll be needing to do in New York."

Erik knew that she was right, and perhaps that was why he was so willingly thinking to give away the story of his past and after a bit he began to speak, after a bit of contemplating as to telling her all the truth or only a bit. All would be for the best, and she was right. He needed to talk about it. Hell, he hadn't even ever told Raoul about these things, but he loved Christine. Maybe it would be one more sign of his devotion towards her? He gave a small, saddened sigh before he began.

"Oh, Christine. . you don't want to know. No part of my life deserves to be called a childhood. No father to guide me, no children beside me. Affection denied me and that MASK!- . . to hide me from the world. . Imagine Christine, my own mother. . . each morning she placed it on my face, or forced me to; as routinely as tying my shoes. God only knows where she had them made for there was always a new one when I outgrew the last. Pity her, Christine. She couldn't bear to look at her own child. And yet there were times, always at night when sounds and feelings were all that mattered. We both spoke in whispers the moment so fragile afraid that somehow the stillness might shatter soon darkness scattered as streetlamps bellow shone through the trees by my window all night just enough light through a crack in the drapes made shadows appear in most curious shapes! Mother would point them out one by one, and one by one each fantasy was born. . ."

"Erik what do you see? Whatever you want them to be they will be."

"I see a lion, a witch and a dragon, a knight on a horse, and a red gypsy wagon. Mother, what do you see? Whatever you want them to be they can be!" a pair of golden eyes skimmed the wall in front of him before turning to look at the woman in the room, trying not to appear phased as her gazed turned away and only turned back when he looked away again.

"I see a child with a heart of gold, born into a world so shallow and cold. Where only the beautiful glorified, blind to a beauty that dwells inside. What twisted measure of human worth condemns a child at birth? My child. . my poor dear child. . darling, wish on a star and ride on a moonbeam. Fall asleep and dream your sweet dreams. Come what may at morning's light, the world is yours tonight."

With that the fragile, pale faced woman left her masked child alone to his shadowed room and darkness a lock clicking behind her as the door shut.

". . So I laid awake in a room full of shadows, watching them dance on the walls. Dreams became real in a room full of shadows, I could be anything. .anything at all!" Erik closed his eyes for a moment, as if he could hear a much younger, innocent, and naïve child he had once been speaking.

------

"At times I'd become a clown in the circus leading the elephants through town. With a wave of my hand they would stand up and trumpet. The children all laughed as I fell to the ground. . "

"Wishes came true in a room full of shadows. No dream was out of my reach, worlds to explore in a room full of shadows. I had my share of foes to defeat!" Erik continued, and then came the smaller voice from his past in his own mind and when he opened his eyes there was no one but a younger self gazing up at him, speaking to him.

"One stormy night I was captain of a wailing ship riding it through a typhoon!"

"Then I rescued a maiden captured by pirates!"

"My shipmates all gasped."

"And the maiden just swooned! I remember. And so what? She amused a child with shadow games of course to keep herself from feeling guilty about locking me away! It was something in the dark where she couldn't see me, always in the dark pretending not to be me. Only in the dark could we be free of what was really me!"

"Erik? . . Erik?" his mother called, a voice echoing through time, or. . wasn't it her?
"I was that child in a room full of shadows, too busy dreaming to curse my fate. I learned to hope in a room full of shadows. . where did you learn to hate?

"I was loved."

"It was only obligation!"

"She protected me."

"With total isolation!"

"Sheltered me."

"By masking imperfection!"

"Gave me hope."

"By masking her rejection!"

"Protection!"

"Isolation!"

"Devotion!"

"Obligation!"

"Virtue!"

"Impenitence!"

"Caution!"

"Indifference!"

"A Mother's Love!"

"A Mother's guilt!"

Back and forth Erik's mind wrestled with his younger self. Fighting what he wanted to believe and what he knew was reality.

"I wanted to live."

"Well look what you've lived for!"

"I wanted to give!"

"You'll give until there's no more"

"Somehow or someway. ."

"To young to have learned."

"I never lost hope!"

"But a child doesn't understand!"

"BUT I DID UNDERSTAND! I. . did understand. . it is you, who no longer understands. This world is so cold, it is better to sob, but tender to none, any kindness that we receive is a blessing. And once every night in a room full of shadows is more then some ever receive. . "

"Erik?"
"When did you loose me?"

Then they both spoke to one another, both past and present.

"When did we loose we?"

"Part of you remains in that room full of shadows."

"Part of me remains in that room full of shadows."

"Just reach out."

"I'm trying."

"I'm still there."

"I'm trying!"

"Just reach out, for her sake, find me one more time."

Erik gave a weak groan and opened his eyes, squinting up and against the light to see Christine looking down at him, a worried look on her face before she pressed a wet cloth to his forehead. For a moment he nearly panicked, but stopped. Christine had seen him without his mask on before, there was no one else here either.

"Erik? Oh, good you're awake. You were just talking, and your voice got faster and tighter. . and you just. .fell! You hit your head on the way down. Are you alright?" she asked, biting her lip in her nervousness.

What had he said? Did she hear all of it? Had he been speaking the part for two? Did she think he was insane?! Oh his head was killing him and he slowly sat up, Christine's arm wrapping about him to help him up and support him. "I can only feel a bump, Erik. Please do say something."

Find me one more time. .

Erik turned his head and looked up at her, his paled golden green eyes gazing into her own brown ones.

"Christine. . I love you."

Ending note:

Alright it was a long, and possibly confusing chapter for all of you. But the ending was clear enough, right? He finally told her. Personally I thought I managed to pull it off right. And to clear up anything. The italic then regular typing is Erik's younger self and himself in the present almost arguing in his. The child of his past oblivious and only thinking her to be the kind mother for he knew nothing else, and Erik now knowing better seeing how she was to him. A few italics are his mother as well, but I'm sure you all figured that one as well as when Christine is calling to him. I apologize now if it wasn't so clear as it was to me.

Review! And meh. . I think I need a beta. .

oh and for any of you who want to attempt to find the song that this chapter was based off of it is called 'A Room Full of Shadows' by Tom Alonso. Maybe those with limewire could locate it, but it was sent to me by a friend of a friend who found the soundtrack in a clarence bin in NYC.

TheDragonEye