Brother's Keeper

Notes: I have pictures to go with the story - Yay me! Both are listed on my bio page. I only made the first one. The second was made by Megolas Greenleaf. I just saw that pic one day and thought, "Damn…that's my Haldir!"

Oh, and if you don't get the "slo-mo" reference, re-read Chapter 1

Part 12

Fuck, they're even uglier up close.

That was my only thought when the Uruk-hai stopped in front of the wall. As one, they began pounding their spears into the ground and beating their chests. A solid rhythmic thumping wave washed over us.

Soldiers clenched their jaws. The conscripts looked ready to piss themselves.

My lips twitched in a smile as I mentally began singing "We Will Rock You" along with the beat the Uruks laid down.

My lips twitched again with a memory. "Hey, Legs...How intelligent are Uruk-hai?"

"Cleverer than mere orcs, I would wager. Why?"

I shrugged. "Saw a movie once...theater," I corrected at his frown. "'Blazing Saddles.' Total farce, but funny as hell. For some reason it just flashed in my head, and I wondered if Uruk-hai were dumb enough to fall for the old 'This is Helm's Shallow - Helm's Deep is that way' trick."

He laughed lightly. "No, my friend, I don't think they are so foolish as that."

"A great pity it will not be so simple for us," said Aragorn. His smile was dark, but his eyes were lit with laughter.

He walked along the elven ranks and began shouting instructions in elvish. Legolas translated for me: "Show them no mercy, for you shall receive none."

Meanwhile, the Uruks were getting frenzied in their beat. It didn't bother me too much because I could see it for what it was: blatant terrorization and psychological warfare. Personally, I was willing to let them stand there bashing their own brains out making noise.

Conscripts, on the other hand, weren't as observant or patient as I. Someone on the castle let loose an arrow. We watched as it sailed down and hit some random Uruk-hai in the neck. While Aragorn and Theoden shouted for everyone to hold back, I wondered who the hell had the bright idea of giving the conscripts ranged weapons.

The Uruks had silenced when their cohort fell, but they started again immediately. Only this time, the pounding wasn't the least bit rhythmic. They beat their shields and rattled their spears, screaming and howling their rage at us. An Uruk commander shouted, and the front line charged forward with their ladders.

On Aragorn's command, arrows shot over my head and rained down on the Uruk-hai. Several dropped. They retaliated with crossbows, and several elves around me collapsed.

A ladder came up right in front of me. Sitting on top of it was a barely clothed berserker Uruk, covered in bright red blood. My first bullet went through its skull, and he toppled backwards.

My second bullet went through the Uruk commander. He went down, and another took his place.

Somewhere to my left, another ladder with another berserker was pushed up. I turned to shoot him too, but missed. I cursed, but thankfully, Gimli had better luck with his axe.

After dispatching the Uruk, he cheerfully rounded on us shouting, "Ahah! Two already!" He held up two fingers to punctuate his count.

I held up two and shouted back, "Me too!"

Legolas smiled cheekily. "I'm on seventeen!" Then he dashed off to elevate his count.

Gimli sputtered indignantly. "I'll not have some pointy ear outdoing me!" Then he likewise turned to do more damage.

I shook my head at both of them and returned to the fight. I had started out with my rifle, but the Uruks were advancing too fast for me to keep up. Too soon, it became too close-quartered, and I switched to my .9ml in one hand and sword in the other.

I went that way for hours. I mostly stayed with the sword, since I didn't want to run out of ammo too quickly, but my .9ml was close at hand for emergencies. My bow was relegated to "Weapon of Last Resort" since I was by far the worst with it.

Legolas and Gimli kept shouting out their current count each time they made a new kill. I lost track of my own count at about twenty five, then decided I was better off concentrating on the battle. The decision came when an Uruk swung his cleaver of a sword into my stomach.

I fell into the floor, clutching my stomach, and fully expecting to see my entrails flowing out. Thankfully, my very modern armor took the blow, and instead of being cut in half, the effect was that of being struck with a baseball bat. Only a marginally better option, considering the batter was very much like a gorilla on steroids, but at least I was still in one piece.

My attacker raised his cleaver for a skull-splitting blow. My choices were to either roll off of the wall and down the stairs to the ground far below, or let him split my skull open. I opted for a tumble down the stairs, my guts protesting from their earlier mistreatment.

I landed in the water at the base of the wall. My attacker landed next to me with an arrow lodged between his eyes. I looked up and saw Orophin wave at me briefly before engaging yet another Uruk-hai.

I was crawling out of the water when movement caught my eyes.

The water from the mountain trickled through the courtyard and out of the wall via a gated drain at the base. Uruk-hai were loading huge spiked metal balls into the drain.

My first thought was that they were trying to dam up the water, but I couldn't see what that would accomplish. Even if they managed it, it would take forever for the water to fill up the courtyard.

My second thought was, Gee, they kinda remind me of giant grenades.

"Fuck!" I screamed and scrambled as fast as I could up the stairs. "Aragorn! Legolas! Get them off the wall! They have bombs! GET OFF THE FUCKING WALL!"

I started grabbing and pushing whoever I came across away from the drain area of the wall. All the while, I kept screaming about bombs and getting off the wall. I don't recall ever telling my friends exactly what the word "bomb" meant, but they seemed to take the hint. Elves scrabbled left and right to get away.

Aragorn spotted the berserker with a bright torch making a run for the drain. The Uruk-hai around him cleared a path and cheered him on. Aragorn cried out for his death. Legolas and I both started shooting.

Legolas managed to hit him twice. He shuddered under the impact of the arrows, but kept coming.

I shot and missed more times than I would like to admit, until I remembered my rifle had an "automatic" setting. Cursing myself an idiot, I quickly switched to auto and blasted him. He fell, but the momentum of his body and the torch flying from his limp hand made up for his death.

My brain did that speed-up-so-everything-looks-slow-motion thing again. I watched as the blazing white torch made a graceful dive straight into the drain. The bombs ignited in a red flash. The wall blew out and up and all over the place.

And I realized I was still standing too close to the blast area. It didn't really hurt. In fact I thought it was kinda cool - felt like flying. I suppose technically I was flying...through the air and heading towards the ground in that same slo-mo way as before.

I wondered absentmindedly if I would get to feel the impact this time.