Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy. If I did, there would be a new hospital policy at Seattle Grace. Men would be banned from wearing shirts. In fact, they might be forced to perform surgery in their boxers. So what if that's not sanitary? It would so be worth it.
I Hate Myself For Losing You
"Callie." The name slipped off my tongue as I watched her walk away after tossing me to the key to my truck. She wasn't supposed to find out this way. I was supposed to tell her. I was just waiting for the right time. But really, when was the right time to tell your wife that you were cheating on her with your best friend? Izzie and I had tried to suppress our feelings. Really tried. After all, Callie and I had JUST gotten married. I had to give it an honest to goodness chance. But all of the secret moments and stolen glances, it all just went to my head until neither one of us could take it anymore. And we were drunk.
Oh,oh,oh
I woke up today
Woke up wide awake
In an empty bed
Staring at an empty room
I have myself to blame
For the state I'm in today
And now dying
Doesn't seem so cruel
And oh, I don't know what to say
And I don't know anyway
Anymore
But finding out this way… In a crowded bar… Where all of your coworkers were…Well, it was just cruel. Because I love Callie. I do. She gets me in a way that even Izzie doesn't. In a way my family doesn't get me. Seeing her eyes flash like that, I know I've made a huge mistake and I've lost probably lost the best thing that's ever happened to me.
I hate myself for losing you
I'm seeing it all so clear
I hate myself for losing you
What do you do when you look in the mirror
And staring at you is why he's not here?
It's my own fault. I should have told Izzie no. Pushed her away. Izzie… And Callie… Are so different. They see me in two totally different lights.
"George. It's ok. Let her go."
"Izzie. She's my wife."
"And what am I?"
You got what you deserved
Hope you're happy now
'Cause everytime I think of her with you
It's killing me
Inside, and
Now I dread each day
Knowing that I can't be saved
From the loneliness
Of living without you
And, oh
I don't know what to do
Not sure that I'll pull through
I wish you knew
I push away from the bar and run outside, not even bothering to answer Izzie. She didn't need some cheap answer. Because Callie… My wife… I had lost her because I couldn't control myself. Because I was lower than scum.
I hate myself for losing you
I'm seeing it all so clear
I hate myself for losing you
What do you do when you look in the mirror
And staring at you is why he's not here?
By the time I pushed the door open to the outside, Callie was just roaring away in her car, tearing out of the parking lot, McSteamy in the passenger seat next to her. The key she tossed at me digging into my hand from me holding it so tightly.
I hate myself for losing you
And oh, I don't know what to do
Not sure that I'll pull through
I wish you knew, I WISH YOU KNEW!!!
And oh, I don't know what to say
And I don't know anyway
Anymore
No, no
It's my fault. All my fault. And now she'll never give me another chance. Callie is too headstrong and independent for that. I already broke her heart once. She would never give me chance after breaking her heart a second time. This. This is all my fault. But what was really beginning to bother was, what is the significance of the key supposed to be?
I hate myself for losing you
(I'm seeing it all so clear)
I'm seeing it all so clear
I hate myself for losing you
What do you do when you look in the mirror
And staring at you is why he's not here?
What do you say when everything you said?
Is the reason why he left you in the end?
How do you cry when every tear you shed
Won't ever bring him back again?
I hate myself for loving you
I walk over to my truck, the street light glinting off of the paint…And where paint was missing. Taking the whole scene, I swear under my breath.