I know what we did was wrong. I know. I'm not really sure what we were thinking. Right now, when it comes to George, I'm completely clueless. And it's just so… weird. We've always been on the same wavelength, but now…
It's hard to listen to a hard hard heart
Beating close to mine
Pounding up against the stone and steel
Walls that I won't climb
Sometimes a hurt is so deep deep deep
You think that you're gonna drown
Sometimes all I can do is weep weep weep
With all this rain falling down
It was a mistake. It was. I know this. But… It wasn't… a horrible one. I don't know what I expected to happen when we continued doing what we were doing. I don't know what I expected to happen when Callie found out. I was too caught up in the moment… And in feeling. Really feeling.
Strange how hard it rains now
Rows and rows of big dark clouds
When I'm holding on underneath this shroud
Rain
Meredith says I should just give George time. She is the queen of dark and twistyness. Although, I'm beginning to think that I could give her a run for her crown. When did that happen? I never thought of myself as dark and twisty until now.
Its hard to know when to give up the fight
Two things you want will just never be right
Its never rained like it has tonight before
Now I don't wanna beg you baby
For something maybe you could never give
I'm not looking for the rest of your life
I just want another chance to live
So I'm trying to give him time. Be his friend. He even said something about giving him time. So I've been backing off, except for the day after he got trashed. But I was worried about him. Seriously, no one can out drink Mer, and anyone who tries always ends up bedridden the next day. Well, more like bathroomridden. If that makes sense. Bedridden but in the bathroom. Stuck in the bathroom.
Strange how hard it rains now
Rows and rows of big dark clouds
When I'm holding on underneath this shroud
Rain
Anyway. That's not the point. The point is… Who am I kidding? George doesn't want me. That's why he didn't answer me. So, not only am I giving him time… I'm letting him go. Except for the friendship.
Strange how hard it rains now
Rows and rows of big dark clouds
When I'm holding on underneath this shroud
Rain
I need him to make it through day-to-day life. And the fact that my daughter needed a bone marrow transplant… He may need time, but I need him right now. He stood by me when they took out the bone marrow for my daughter. That's when I knew. I need George to make it through. Even if it's only as a friend.
Strange how hard it rains now
Rows and rows of big dark clouds
When I'm still alive underneath this shroud
Rain Rain Rain
She said that she doesn't want to know me. She's not strong enough right now. Who am I kidding? Neither am I. That doesn't mean that I didn't want her to want me.