Chapter 5: Anger, Confusion, Pain

Kaoru sat in a chair next to Yahiko's bed, leaning against the mattress and stroking his hair gently. He seemed to be at peace now, but she was still concerned that he hadn't woken up. She wanted to go find Kenshin and have him comfort her or at least tell her what to do about Yahiko, but she was afraid to leave the child alone.

That man… That man… She thought, her mind traveling back to the scene that seemed to have happened months ago, though it had only been an hour or so.

He was horrifying. His hand against her face and wrist were cold and clammy. Something in the touch was lifeless, empty… It made her shudder at the thought. Those eyes against the back of her neck made her feel like she was burning, and his voice made her think of a snake's hiss when he whispered. He couldn't possibly be a man, could he? He was so frightening!

She took Yahiko's hand with her free one, mainly to calm herself down. This man had to be some kind of beast… What was the extent of his abilities? She longed for Yahiko to awaken so that she could find out what happened and if he was all right.

She shifted her weight in her chair and sighed. The silent air was uncomfortable.

Yahiko mumbled slightly in his sleep and moved a bit. Even in unconsciousness, he could feel it too.

She moaned in frustration. "Please Yahiko… wake up… please…"

-

Sano was still angry. He marched through the snow with his hands in his pockets, cursing everything under his breath. He'd never gotten so angry at one of his friends before.

He sighed, watching a puff of cold smoke emanate where it landed. "Man… all of this is so…" He wished he had something to punch.

Sano trailed off the path and found a spot under a tree where not a particular lot of snow lay. He plopped down on it and just stared at his feet menacingly. "I don't believe it. Not for a second. People can't come back from the dead. She's an imposter, I know it. She has to be… How could Kenshin be fooled this way?"

The branch above him shivered, and a clump of snow tumbled onto his head. "Ahhh…" Sano growled. "SHIT!"

People looked up, hearing the echoing profanity.

-

Yahiko's eyes flew open. He kept completely silent, staring around the room with a look of shock and relief upon his face. His head rolled in a robotic, jerky movement toward the side of the bed where Kaoru's head rest. A light snoring was rising from her.

"Kaoru…" He whispered, his voice scratchy. "Kaoru!"

She twitched slightly and wiggled her shoulders a bit before fluttering open her big blue eyes. "Wh…what?"

"Kaoru!" He cried, realizing that he was indeed alive and far away from that horrible place.

"YAHIKO!" She exclaimed, taking him in her arms and hugging him tightly. "Oh, Yahiko, I was so worried!"

"Kaoru! That man, he… he killed me!" Yahiko sobbed into her shoulder, shaking. "He stabbed me through in a ring of fire!"

Kaoru's eyes widened at the statement. "What are you talking about?"

Yahiko sniffled, pulling away. "It hurt really bad… I still see it so clearly in my mind. I can feel the searing pain in my back… I can imagine his sharp clawed hand penetrating my chest…" He looked incredibly pale, his eyes wide, sweat upon his brow.

"It was an illusion," Kaoru took him back into her arms and stroked his hair. "It wasn't real…" Her eyes met at the edge of his shirt to a bit of his exposed back. It was a light pink in color as if it had laid against something hot. Or at least… I hope it wasn't real…She clutched him more tightly. "It's all right… You're safe here with me…"

He calmed down in her arms and sighed. "I was afraid…"

"I would have been too…" She assured him. The boy was usually so stubborn. He would never admit fear unless it was a truly traumatizing situation. She prayed that he would be okay.

"We need to get out of here," Yahiko whispered into her shoulder. "He'll come back for us…"

"Don't be silly, Yahiko," Kaoru replied nervously. Her voice shook slightly. The thought of it as even a possibility… "He was just a raging drunk."

"No…" Yahiko buried his face deeper into her shoulder so that all she could see was the top of his head. "He's a monster. A real… monster. He's a demon from the darkest pits of Hell."

"Don't talk like that!" Kaoru squeaked, speaking more loudly than she intended.

Yahiko was silent, shivering in her arms. "The pain… it just won't leave me alone."

-

Saitou moved through the snowy streets, passing civilians without so much as a glance. They were just the same old, boring faces in the crowds that he saw every day. What interest were they to him? The man he was looking for could be spotted out of a crowd by the wolf's cunning eyes. The color red was one he had seen many times, and he knew how it stood out in the snow.

His eyes did catch a bit of red suddenly out of the corner of his eye, but it wasn't what he was looking for. It was the bandana of that idiot rooster, Sanosuke, walking back towards the path.

"It's too cold for chickens to be out of their coop, isn't it?" Saitou asked, smirking.

Sano glared at him and walked next to him for a few moments. "Hey, you know a lot of stuff because of your career, right?"

"Compared to you, I know ions."

"Yeah, whatever," Sano responded flatly before continuing. "Can… can people be brought back from the dead?"

"If people could be brought back from the dead, I would have had the entire Shinsengumi on the government's doorstep," Saitou replied. "Why would you ask me such a dumb ass question-- Oh, that's right."

Sano narrowed his eyes. This couldn't possibly be his only source of information. "-but… Kenshin's wife, Tomoe… she's alive!"

"Who the hell is-"

"Kenshin's wife! I already told you! Kenshin accidentally killed her a long time ago, and that's why he decided to stop killing all together, but now she's back from the dead."

"Now that you mention it, I believe I did once see him with a woman back in the Bakumatsu. Very pale… Smelled like flowers."

"Yeah, haku baikou actually," Sano explained. "Either way, she's supposed to be dead, and she's not so… I think she's an imposter, but she's put on a really good act."

"Oh, heaven forbid somebody fool someone as cunning as you," Saitou said sarcastically.

"Gods, I hate you," Sano mumbled. "Be serious with me for a minute! Kenshin is completely fooled! If she could fool him, maybe she's not fooling at all! She really could be the real thing and it's driving me nuts!"

Saitou fished a cigarette out of his jacket and put it in his mouth, lighting it and tossing the match into the snow. He held it in his hand and blew out smoke before replacing it to his lips. He seemed to be in deep thought.

"Did you know that the little brat and the little wench you hang out with were attacked today?"

"Yahiko and Jou-chan?" Sano questioned. "They can handle themselves."

"The man got away without a scratch while your little girl suffered from a bleeding head, and the little boy was unconscious after coughing up blood… or at least that's what I've heard from witnesses."

Sano's eyes widened. "Oh, man, are they okay!"

"How the hell should I know?" Saitou asked, shrugging. He blew more smoke into the air.

"I would think it'd be smart to ask them if you're investigating what happened to them, right?" Sano asked.

Saitou stared at him for a moment. Damn, did he hate it when the rooster had a revelation and was right. "Then I guess we'll just have to go there together."

Sano grinned. He loved being right and making Saitou get that disgruntled look on his face. "See, I knew I was right!" He bragged.

Saitou wandered ahead, showing Sanosuke his middle finger.

-

Tomoe didn't particularly enjoy the looks and catcalls she was getting from the men, but one with beauty such as hers would usually get used to it. She figured that she had wandered into the slums of Edo, or Tokyo actually, since the buildings were small and run-down. She knew that the first thing she had to do was find that man. He could tell her about all of this… Her heart leapt in her chest at the thought of him. He frightened her so badly…

Kenshin was alive… and he still carried a sword… She wondered if he was still slaying men… He didn't seem quite the same as he was. There was a different aura around him, and he no longer smelled of blood. He smelled of fire soot and laundry soap. Those amethyst eyes were brighter, kinder, and gentler… and he smiled.

She closed her eyes and sighed. This wasn't right. She couldn't just wander around like this as if the sword had never touched her. Her life was jeopardizing everything her dearest had worked to accomplish. He was at peace with himself until she returned. Her heart ached at the thought that she was causing him anguish once again.

Her eyes spotted a part of the woods peeking from behind some familiar looking, abandoned buildings. There were bare feet prints exiting the area, and the foliage barren of leaves looked somewhat messed up. This was where she had run.

Her blood ran cold at the thought of going back through. She knew she needed to find that man, but should she find him, she was terrified of what he would do. She watched the spot, trying to decide what to do, to at least gather the courage to go forward. She wondered if she should go get Kenshin to protect her… No… The last person he wanted to see right now was her…

She hung her head. "What to do… What to do…"

-

It had been a long time since he had dreamed of one certain killing in such detail.

It was 1863, winter time. He had only begun his job as a hitokiri at the tender age of fourteen. He had been sent to kill a man who had been pretending to be on the side of the Imperialist and built up his rank quite high, only to be discovered that he'd been using the money he acquired on helping along their enemies. Katsura had suggested they let Kenshin go and practice his skill as to keep him from being rusty.

For some reason, Kenshin had felt incredibly guilty when he entered their home. They were sharing a meal, the target, his wife, and his little son.

"Please excuse the intrusion," He had told the man's wife. "I am sorry," He turned to his target, "but I am here to end your life."

The man drew his swords and they began to battle it out. Kenshin could remember the sound of the blades crashing against each other as they stumbled outside through the rice-paper wall that had fallen in the process of their bout. He could see the look in the man's eyes, not one of determination, but one of desperation to live and match the reputation his family had of him. He could hear his wife's screaming, the boy just watching from behind her with a look of stunned silence.

That boy… he looked a lot like his father… Scruffy black hair, eyes dark as pools of the deepest water…

"NO!" He remembered the man's wife scream as she stumbled out in front of her husband to protect him.

The blade slashed them both.

He remembered their shouts as their blood spattered across their porch, walls, and their only son.

How naïve Kenshin had been back then, to not realize the pain they were going through when he arrived.

The boy stared at the bodies of his parents, and his eyes rolled up to meet Kenshin's. No emotion came from either of them.

The boy twitched slightly.

Kenshin turned away and headed out. When he reached the edge of the village, he smelled smoke, and turning back to see, he found that the house he had left was now lighting up the night sky with fire.

The yellow, orange, and blood red flames licked the darkness with great intensity. A scream echoed over the horizon, one of pain and suffering, loss, confusion, and so many emotions that they were indefinable.

Kenshin's eyes flew open. Raising his head, he popped his neck to find himself in the same place he had been when Tomoe had left. Tomoe…

He stood, hearing his back make cracking noises and leaned against the wall. Why was he trembling? Why was he sweating? Why did that scream ring into his ears long after he had awoken?

In a cave outside of Tokyo, two red eyes rose from a pair of arms and looked into the fire. The yellow, orange, and blood red flames licked the darkness with great intensity.

(A/N: I really enjoy writing Saitou's character, especially when he's interacting with Sanosuke. It's a lot of fun, and I can experiment with insults. Ha ha, the plot thickens a bit, ne? I bet you all know who the little boy was too. Well, see you in chapter 6!)