Heyyyy. It's been awhile for this story. What? Seven or eight months? About?
Recap: In case you've forgotten, we last left off with Braig basically shoving peas in Ienzo's face, causing him to run off crying like a little whine-baby. M'kay. And looking back on that chapter… ooooo, the story's going far from well. Cuh-rap! Anyways.
Standard disclaimer of my sarcastic "No I don't own Kingdom Hearts" thing applies. OOCness.
About the same time that Braig was in the hall leading to the dining room and screaming about "OMIGOSH! NO MORE MOPS!!" Ienzo was far, far away. To be exact, he was under the staircase that was northeast of the dining room, was three floors above it, and at the completely opposite end of the castle. If ya caught all that, then good. You get a gold star.
But anyways, while Braig was banging his forehead against walls and looking for Ienzo, the boy was sitting under a staircase, knees clutched close to his chest and moaning his distaste for peas. And Braig. But mainly peas.
"Ooooooooooooo," he moaned distastefully, rocking back and forth just a little. "Why the peas? W…Why did they have t-t-t-t-t-t-to show up into my life again…?" He began sobbing and biting at his lower lip in between sporadic bursts of speech. "Whyyyyyyy-hyy-hyy-hyyyyyyyyyy? I hate everything!"
With how loud his wails were, Braig was easily distracted from his head-banging (ha…ha) and found something new that he was interested in. The source of the whining, i.e. where Ienzo was hiding at. He promptly set off to locate that location.
It took him a long while to find where Ienzo was (what, with the sobs reverberating [damn cool word off the walls and throwing him off and everything), but Braig finally found the young man. When he did, though, he was shocked. Never before had he seen someone so depressed in his life. The boy was so down or nervous or whatever about the damned peas that he was sucking his thumb. It almost caused Braig to pity him. Which the man used to his advantage.
Braig planted his hands on his hips and looked underneath the staircase. "Awwww, what do we have here?" he cooed, in a manner that only mothers use to speak to newborn babies.
Looking up for just a moment, Ienzo's expression changed from depression to hatred and then to a morose hatred because he remembered the peas. "Leave me alone… you don't play nicely," he said and then rested his forehead on his knees so that Braig couldn't see his eyes.
The man's face changed from mock sympathy to feigned innocent confusion. "Now whatever could you be talking about?" he asked as he cupped a hand to his chin, in an attempt to look like he was thinking.
"You know damn well what I'm talking about…" Ienzo growled. "Peas do not just fly into people's faces! Somehow you made them come after me! I'm not stupid!" Baring his teeth, Ienzo looked up from his knees to glare at Braig until the man decided to leave.
"Whoa-hooo, now what's that look for, little guyyyyyyyyy!" Braig basically said the final word of his sentence in a mixture of a yelp and a whine, as Ienzo had kicked his kneecap just after he finished the word 'little', causing Braig to fall to the floor, rubbing his injured knee, mumbling something about "killing the little prick". "Yeah, yeah, I know… ya don't like being called short or anything of the sort… But before ya tried to kill my right leg, I was going to tell ya that we have a different sort of peas here in Radiant Garden." For but a moment, the boy looked interested, but then decided to angst again. "O yes," Braig said, nodding sagely. "See, here, our peas have little wings. Most of the time they lose the wings at the factory where they're canned, but sometimes a batch of peas will escape the… um… anti-winger thing…er. See? So, you must have had some winged peas, and that's why they flew at your face!"
"Wow…" Ienzo said, face blank and eyes wide. "That has got to be… the stupidest story I have ever heard. You realize that you're a complete idiot, correct? I didn't see any wings on my peas, so, please, explain that to me," said the boy, folding his arms over his chest.
Thinking it over for a moment, Braig's face looked thoughtful and calm, only to change when a grin replaced the expression. "Well, duh, haven't ya learned anything? The wings are invisible."
"Forget what I said a few sentences ago… That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard."
Braig crossed his arms over his chest and an indignant look came over his face. "It's not stupid, it's the truth. You're stupid for not believing it… becaaaaaaaaaause I can prove it to you!" he said, while making a mental note to bribe Even into customizing a label for a can of peas. "But, anyways, I didn't come here to chat… I came here to console you!"
For a moment, Ienzo's eyes bulged out and he almost had another emotional breakdown, but he held himself together and lapsed into a would-be calm demeanor. "You… console me? You just ruined my life a few minutes ago, and now you want to make me feel better? This place makes no sense…" he said, and began to pout.
"O, sure it makes sense. Ya just gotta get used to it, then it's easy to understand. We're like one big, happy family here!" Braig exclaimed, with a big, sarcastic smile. "Now, please," he said, seating himself next to Ienzo, "think of me as your father figure, okay son?"
Ienzo made an exaggerated twitchy movement and drew himself farther away from Braig. However, the movement didn't go unnoticed by Braig, who then grabbed Ienzo by the hair and pulled him into a tight hug, which seemed like an attempt to suffocate him.
"Don't run away from me, son! You can't hide from the truth!" Braig shouted, while trying to keep the struggling Ienzo from running away.
"What the Hell are you talking about?! What truth?" yelled Ienzo, as he kicked the man in the stomach to get away. "This place is on drugs! I'm out of here!" And so, Ienzo tried to run away, only to trip as Braig jumped out and latched onto his ankle.
"Ya can't leave. Not until ya tell your father why you're so afraid of peas!" he said, calmly, yet neurotically. At the mere mention of the word 'peas', Ienzo nearly had a seizure, but still tried to tug his leg away from Braig, shouting something about 'not being your son, and don't mention peas!' all the while. "Peas…" Braig said quietly, causing Ienzo to go into another spasm.
"Shut up! Just leave me alone!"
"I'm not gonna stop until you stop being so emo and tell me why peas scare ya so much," continued the man, in a seemingly bored manner.
Finally, Ienzo stopped trying to wrench his ankle away from Braig. "You promise to leave me alone? And you promise not to torment me with this?" Braig nodded, trying to suppress a mischievous grin. "Okay," the boy began, relaxing himself. "The reason…" and he actually struggled to say the word, "peas frighten me so… is because… (sigh) When I was a small child--"
"But you still are a small child."
Ienzo growled, causing Braig to recoil. He continued with what he was saying, though slightly agitated. "As I was saying… when I was a small child, my family and I went to the supermarket. Now, my younger brother was a very 'wild child', and would run around the store, making a mess of the place just because he could. Well, on one particular occasion, there was a very large display of peas, set in a pyramid on a table down one of the aisles in the store. They were… (gulp) priced at three cans for ninety-nine cents… But that's not the point.
"I was walking past the display, calling out his name… trying to find him, for it was time to leave the store. As I walked past the… peas, my younger brother jumped out from behind the display, shouted 'surprise' in his jackass tone, and pushed the cans over on me… Some of the cans broke open when they hit the floor. Peas flew everywhere, pea juice filled the aisle… and I was buried underneath the cans, calling out for help… which didn't come. I must have been under the cans for twenty minutes, calling, weakly, for help, juice seeping in my hair and soaking my clothes." Ienzo had begun to sob quietly. "It was… traumatizing…"
Munching sounds were heard at Ienzo's side as he finished his dramatic recount of his experience with peas. He looked in the direction of the sounds and found Braig eating an especially toasty, crunchy, delectable grilled cheese sandwich, because popcorn is too cliché. I should have used pâté instead. Anyways, at the discovery of Braig not even paying attention to him, he nearly had an aneurysm.
"HEY! You're supposed to pity me!" Ienzo began shouting, as the other continued to nibble on his sandwich. "I told you this terrible thing that happened to me as a child, and you go down to the kitchen and get some--some stupid sandwich," he spit out, for he couldn't find a better insult while in such a flustered state.
"Actually, this sandwich is nowhere near stupid, as you so eloquently put it. The sandwiches in this castle are made from the highest quality food products on the market, just as all other edible things here are." He paused for a moment, took a bite out of his sandwich, swallowed, and then continued. "Even the peas."
An exaggerated twitch of Ienzo's right eye ensued.
"But, I didn't miss the gist of the story, and that's what's important, right?" Braig finished the second half of his sandwich in one bite. "I got whatchoo were saying--something about pea cans. Anyways, anyways. While I was gettin' my sandwich, one of the kitchen workers, asked me to pick up some stuff at the store for 'im. He acts like I got nothin' to do but run errands! Pff… As I was saying… To get your mind off of… peas, you should come to the store with me," he ended, smiling big with little bits of bread and cheese in between his teeth.
"Close your mouth, you're disgusting! And… why would I go to the store, when there are… p-p-peas there?"
Braig's face was blank. "How did you spend your childhood? Curled up in a book or somethin'?"
"Yes… I was studying. How do you think I got here?" asked the boy, incredulous.
"Never you mind that question. It should have been obvious to me," Braig responded, waving his hand flippantly. "As I was saying… the store we're going to is big enough so that ya won't have to go anywhere near the damned peas you're so terrified by."
"Are you sure I'll be safe?"
"Yeah, yeah! Now let's just go," the man said impatiently.
"Fine."
And so, the two began their trek to 'the store.' They set off, going down the cliff, across the meadow, and through the woods of not-so-evil trees to the… Quikki Mart to run some errands.
Bum bum BUUUUUM! I resurrected the Quikki Mart thing from my very first chapter fic thing. Except, a year ago, the phrase went "down the canyon, across the valley, and through the forest of evil, evil trees to the Quikki Mart to buy some new cards." But who really remembers those days? I was young, I used a fandom to replace my friends. However, this summer, I've used actual video games and reading to replace me friends, which explains why I haven't typed up many fanfics. True dat?
Anyways… The Godfather is a kick-ass movie. Ta-dah. Sorry this chapter sucked sooo much. It was basically just there to set up the stage for the next chapter, which should be out sometime during… October? Haha. I really don't know when it'll be out. Yup, just a filler chapter.
Review? Tell me it sucked, and how much of an absolute crack fic it is? Enjoy your last few days of summer, I start school next week. Ciao.