a/n: Well, it took a hell of a long time to bring this story up-to-date and I doubt anybody continued reading it, considering that it was virtually branded as one of those no-hoper stories, where no update ever comes again. Well, to anyone still interested, I've uploaded a new chapter! Enjoy reading!

Steam rose around me, clouding up my small bathroom. I turned off the taps, and the water stopped flowing. I get in. It's hot. And cramped. Damn this bathtub! I've always wanted a bigger one!

I lay there, relaxing, relieving myself of all the tension that occurred throughout the day. Damn NERV, they hardly pay me what I deserve, for all the things I go through!

Oh well, can't be helped I guess.

Bzzzz

Shit! Brilliant timing. No doubt it would be one of Shinji's friends anyway.

'Hey Shinji! Go answer the freakin door!' I shouted. I wasn't prepared to leave this bath tub. Not yet anyway.

'Ok.' I here him say quietly. Footsteps go by. I can just imagine Suzuhara's face when Shinji tells him I'm in the bathtub. The lusty eyes, the blushing face, the huge goofy smile…damn perverted 14 year old kids…

I hear footsteps running back. Shit! What if Suzuhara is gonna break into the bathroom and have a perve? Oh my God I'll kill him if that happens!

'Um Misato, it's um..Rei,' Shinji says through the door. Anticlimax. Then…what would this have to do with me!?

'So why are you telling me?' I answer, suppressing my annoyance. Something tells me this is not going to be a great evening.

'She wants to talk to you.'

Silence.

The First Child. The white, achromatic coloured girl, mixed and matched with bright crimson eyes and beryl blue hair. A girl who is 100 dedicated to her work, one without problems, but one without a resolve either.

Since when would Rei Ayanami want to see me unless it concerned work? This was a bit strange.

'Why?' I ask, anxious to know more.

'She won't tell me.' He replies, then I hear him leave. I sigh and then get out. The steamy air feels like a chill as I get out of the water, and I dry myself quickly and get dressed. 'Hang on,' I call through the door. Pen Pen will no doubt be pleased to go in a little bit earlier.

I come out and find Rei waiting at the door. It was raining quite moderately, with fairly strong gusts of wind blowing. What is that stupid Shinji doing? And where the hell is he?

'Oh my God, I'm so sorry about this, Rei. Please come inside.' I invited then 'Where the hell is that stupid Shinji and why the hell didn't he let you in?' I started as I stormed my way over to his room.

'No it's ok Misato.' Rei's voice called out. I stopped and turned around. This girl really is truly apathetic isn't she? 'Doll' I recall somewhere in my mind.

'Um Misato, I was wondering if you could actually help me…' she stopped. And for the first time I saw her blush, and she looked away embarrassed. 'I'd rather not discuss this where Shinji may hear us…'

'Ok' I thought. 'Wait, let me get an umbrella.'

I called out to Shinji that we were going for a walk and then we left the block of apartments. Without hinting at anything, Rei began, blushing slightly heavier than before. Perhaps she was more than a doll.

'A couple of days ago,' she began in a timid voice. 'I asked Shinji "What is affection, love and care?". I wanted to know. I lived my entire life without such a strong understanding of what that emotion was. I was virtually alone my entire life. Gendou was the first person I felt any affection to and then along came Shinji and I realized I was beginning to feel confused. Where did this feeling of happiness come from? Why was I feeling it? How come I knew that I was happy? Who decided that I deserved to feel this way?'

I looked at her as we continued walking down the empty streets of Tokyo-3. She continued to stare ahead, her face slightly wrenched in pain. I could hear it from her voice, and see it in her eyes. And I could tell I was the first person she was telling of her suffering to.

'And then he replied how it could be expressed through actions or words such as "I love you" or a kiss. And before I knew it, I was bringing myself closer to him, and I pulled him towards me to kiss him. And he responded.'

And at this stage, she shut her eyes, determined not to cry. I didn't say anything. What was there to say? She gave a small hiccup before continuing.

'And I didn't know he was already with Asuka. I remember him telling me he felt sorry for me. I haven't had anyone speak to me like that before. It was always "Do this" or "Do that". I was just someone…no…something ordered around to do everyone's bidding. And to think I spent how many years living like that without realizing…but then, to meet Shinji who was almost just like me! I didn't realize anything at first but slowly, I began to realize I felt this 'want' to be with him anywhere. And I didn't know why!'

She couldn't hold it back anymore. The pain that had engulfed her within those few moments finally was released as she let her tears flow. She was really crying now. The stoic, emotionless, doll Rei Ayanami was crying. She turned to me.

'And I loved him! I really did! I wanted to be with him! I wanted him! I would die for him! And I can't have him because of Asuka! He loves her, and he only responded to me because I initiated it!' she cried, eyes wide open, tears leaking out, filled with the belief that Asuka was the only one that had Shinji's heart.

I dropped the umbrella. I couldn't bear it. Grabbing her and pressing her into my breast, she wailed loudly under the great black sky. 'Stupid.' I whispered.

The poor bewailing thing, sobbing hard, as I pressed her closer, and I felt the pain slowly dawning onto me as well, and the first of many tears began to escape my eyes too.

'Ssshhh, it's ok,' I cooed, struggling to find the right words that could comfort her.

To think we were strangers when we left the building and now I was the most important person to her. I felt like a completely useless person, one that is supposed to help and comfort when the other needs you the most but cannot. What good am I, if I can't even help the Eva pilots when they need me the most? What am I doing, giving strings of orders to the pilots who depend on me, when I can't help them now? 'I'm a failure' I thought as I clutched onto the frail body of hers.

Rain continued to pour, soaking the two of us. The water falling from the sky, disguised our tears, little clear sparkles, dripping off our chins, and onto each other.

Finally, I couldn't take the cold anymore and said 'Come on Rei, let's take you home.'

Still sniveling, she wiped at one of her eyes and nodded. I bent down to reach for the umbrella, and holding her close, we walked to her apartment in silence.

Seeing Rei cry was one thing, but seeing her living conditions was bordering horrendous. And I already thought that making Rei cry was pretty much as bad as it was going to get.

How did our very corporation allow our most important and valued asset live in such a terrible shabby little apartment? Beyond valued…priceless. Surely we could have placed her in a more hygienic place. Without her, the Eva wouldn't even do our bidding. And to think Gendou really cared for her.

I noticed that I was staring at her apartment a little too obviously, but she remained silent. It was my turn to blush now.

'Take a bath Rei. You should get out of those wet clothes now. I'll try and cook up something warm…'

That sounded like it was on the verge of an order. My worry for her, mixed with my embarrassment for myself, led me to forget my place for an instant. Damn you stupid Misato!

Then it struck me. What was I supposed to cook anyway? Rei was vegetarian right? Spicy vegetarian curry didn't seem like the way to go at this very moment. Coming to think of it, she probably wouldn't have curry in this place anyway.

I heard the taps turn on and the water start pouring, while I raided her cupboards in search of anything. She had a really plain lifestyle. What did she eat?!

Now I was well and truly shivering. I wouldn't mind taking a shower myself, but then what am I supposed to change into? My clothes were soaking wet. At least if I were to get pneumonia or something, I could have a cruel reminder of the humanity I still had within me. I'm still not a bitch yet. Unless it's with Kaji when he's acting childish. Damn him!

The water stops. Rei walked out of her bathroom, drying herself with this boring old brown towel. Has she no shame? Yet, she doesn't even look at me. I just looked away and mumbled something about not being able to find anything to cook up. She took no notice.

Finally she was dressed. Then there was an awkward silence.

I stared around the room, shivering a little, wondering what I could do in order to warm up seeing as how none of Rei's clothes would fit me.

The grey-brown walls blended with the scummy floor. Rubbish lay around, and pills lay on top of the fridge. Socks hung above her bed, and other various pieces of underwear lay on her bed.

'Misato,' she broke the silence.

'Yeah?' I answered, beginning to shiver uncontrollably now.

'How would I apologise to Asuka?'

I fumbled and was about to give her my phone, then decided against it and said 'Don't bother. Let Shinji work out who he truly wants, and then we'll decide how you should apologise.'

'Ok.' She responded. Then after a pause, she finished with 'Thank you Misato.'

Then after a longer pause, I smiled and said 'It's ok Rei.' To which tears began to flow from her eyes again, but she did not break down again. Then, for the first time ever, she smiled back at me.

I still believe it's a miracle, what effect hope can have on anybody.

A/n: well, this will be the final chapter I think. I'll leave the story hanging here as I doubt I will continue on with it. But if you wish, keep your hopes up! As I may have some brand new idea that I can reintroduce into the story.

Originally planned as some one-shot light humour fic, it quickly spiraled into something else. I just couldn't bring myself to write humour about Rei, since it is so exceedingly difficult to bring her out of reality in such a fic where I wanted to keep it as real as possible. Bending enough rules of her character already (and perhaps the others too) I refused to keep it as a humour story. It also wouldn't be complete without the mention of her at all, seeing as she is such a powerful character, so I changed the story into something I used to do best. So there's just an explanation into how I wrote it and why it has fallen from a once humour planned fic into a more angst-styled one. Hope nobody is too disappointed.

If there's something here somebody is unhappy about, then just let me know in a review or whatever. It's been a long time since I wrote anything so I wouldn't except my writing skill to be anywhere near what it was like a few years ago. Thank you to anybody still reading this. silence

Now as for the disclaimer…hehe…you're not getting one!