Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight never will
Chapter 2
"Carlisle?" I asked following him as he marked things off on clipboards.
"Yes?" he kept his head down walking around throughout the hospital. I needed to hurry to go see Bella.
I lowered my voice so only he could hear me. "Is Melody…is she…" I found I couldn't say it. There wasn't any reason for me to not be able to ask a simple question especially when I knew the answer. Or thought I did.
"Human? Yes all over. Actually I haven't found one reason for her to be any part vampire. It's rather strange but it happened," Carlisle answered. That was the answer I had been prepared for. Could she still be my daughter despite the fact?
"How is it possible? Is she still my daughter or…or someone else's?" The questions kept crowding my mind. Not all of them could be answered so simply though. These were the only ones I had believed to be answerable.
"She is your daughter despite the fact. Looks exactly like you and Bella. I don't know how it had happened but it did. Maybe there are some vampire qualities but she is just too young for it to be seen. I assume we will know eventually." He looked up at me now. All the thoughts still spun around in my mind and everyone's thoughts around me weren't helping. "Don't worry Edward I'm sure it's fine." Then he spun on his heels and continued to make his rounds in the hospital.
"Wait!" I called after him speeding up to reach him again. He waited patiently for me to explain myself and I wasn't sure how I could ask him. "I was wondering if maybe I could change Bella? There is no reason not to right? She is in pain and I feel awful and it's something she'd want."
"Of course you can," he started, "but you can't."
"What do you mean?"
"You can't while she's in a hospital. Wait until she is able to leave. That way she can slowly get used to the change. Then you can change her." I was beginning to ask when that would be but quickly he left blocking his mind from me. Hopefully it wouldn't be long. There was so much I needed to make up to for Bella. All those months that I hadn't been there to help her. Hadn't been there to protect her.
Going at a quick pace I made my way to Bella's room. She hated hospitals it was the least I could do to be there for her. Of course that wouldn't make up for the months I'm at loss but it was a start.
Bella was motionless as she lay there. Now she looked even more fragile than before. Even easier to break if that is at all possible. When I came in her eyes shot open looking over at me through small slits. Her smile was slight but welcoming, forgiving in a way that I don't understand. After all I put her through, all that I couldn't protect her from she still found somewhere that she was able to absolve me.
"Shh Bella. Rest," I whispered to her as she tried to speak. It was easy to see the twinge of pain in her eyes as she moved. "I'm sorry for leaving you. For not being there to protect you from Victoria. I promise you that once you are able to leave here I will change you."
"I forgive you, Edward. It was inevitable she was going to come eventually better that she did and you stopped her than not at all," her voice was low almost inaudible for human ears.
"Melody is beautiful. Just as you are." Carefully I stroked her cheek being so she felt nothing, no hint of pain.
"She's your daughter too," she reminded me.
"Yes, of course she is." More than ever now I was interested in seeing what exactly Melody would become. Eventually she'd be just like Bella wanted something she never should know of. Or maybe she would be the opposite. Who knows?
Suddenly Bella was still. Maybe she had fallen asleep. She needed the rest after all. But my worst fear was realized as I heard a long buzz.
I looked at her motionless form. "Bella? Bella?" I kept calling her name hoping for a reaction. Already I knew what had happened but I was in denial unable to accept the fact. "Bella!" now I was screaming but there was no response.
"Edward," Alice put her small hand on my shoulder but I shook her off. "Not here."
"No she can't be…she just can't!" I yelled. Still she lay motionless not responding to me anymore. This can't be happening. It isn't. She's not… I couldn't bring myself to say the words for fear that it wasn't true and I'd only bring it to pass.
"Edward. Not here," Alice repeated tugging at my arm. Again I shook her off stepping closer to Bella. "Please Edward I know it's hard but—"
"It's my fault. I came back too late!" I grew angry taking the vase nearby and throwing it into the wall watching as the shards fell to the floor water soaking the ground.
"Edward! Calm down!" But it was too late for that. Maybe it was the fact I blamed myself or maybe it was more the fact I hadn't done anything to stop it. But suddenly every hope I had held onto fell apart just as the vase had and there were just too many pieces…
Doctors came rushing in hoping to revive her but they weren't fast enough. I ached to yell at them to take my rage out but I couldn't. Alice relaxed at my side seeing as I wasn't going to start destroying things again. She maneuvered around the doctors without being noticed pulling me along with her. This isn't happening. It can't be. I still have so much I have to do for her. She…can't…be…no…she…isn't…
Regardless of how much I repeated it I wasn't convincing seeing through my lies meant to protect me. How could this happen? How could I let it happen? There was no way I could live without Bella. Already I knew what I planned to do if something ever were to happen to her.
"No Edward. I won't let you," Alice said sternly gripping my arm in her tiny hand. I should have known better than to think about it knowing Alice would foresee it. But she couldn't stop me. They couldn't stop me.
This thought gave me small hope as to the fact I wouldn't live without her for long. It wouldn't be long. A few hours considering how long it'd take to get there. So consumed in my plots at suicide I hadn't noticed that I was in a car zooming away with Alice at the wheel.
Every two seconds she looked over at me as if making sure I was there but I hardly noticed. It's like my mind shut down and nothing would kick start it.
"Edward? I know this is hard for you but whatever you're planning won't happen. I'll be sure of it," Alice's usually cheery voice no longer held it's enthusiasm. "It's hard for everyone but you'll get through it. You have to."
"Why do I have to?" Already I was slipping away pushing past the darkness that threatened to take hold of me.
"Melody," she reminded me. Melody…my daughter, Bella's daughter. My cold dead heart throbbed. Why Bella? She had so much to live for. But through it all I knew Alice was right. There was a reason for my existence now. Whether I liked it or not I have a daughter to take care of.
"But Bella."
"Would have wanted you to raise Melody. Edward, I know this won't be easy but we'll all be there to help you. And Melody is going to grow up having a father in her life," Alice finished for me just as we stopped outside our house. She was right. Always right.
Everything passed in a blur. The funeral, sympathy, my whole life…
I was stained, with a role,
In a day not my own
But as you walked into my life
You showed what needed to be shown
All I could do was think about her. Though she hadn't known it she did more for me than anyone could imagine. She made this long lonely life bearable. Thinking about her though put me aside from everything and everyone. Melody had been decided to stay with us as long as Charlie and Renee could come visit. I wasn't sure how much time had past since it happened.
There was a soft knock on my door. Assuming I knew whom it was I called out, "Alice I don't feel like talking about it."
"Edward?" Rosalie called to me. This surprised me that of all people to come pester me it was her. She didn't even like Bella.
I sighed, "Come in Rosalie."
Silently she entered coming over to sit on the couch next to me. I refused to look her in the eyes.
"Edward, I know how you feel."
"How would you know!" I snapped from instinct how could she know. Then I regretted it remembering exactly how she could understand.
She discarded this quickly continuing. "It's hard to deal with it. But you have to. It isn't all about you anymore. There is a baby out there that needs her father. You can't just let Bella's death shut out everything else. She died. I know you'll never get over it, you'll never forget it, but that gives you no excuse to shut yourself up in your room. You're going to have to face it sometime. Why not sooner?" I didn't reply what could I say to that? She sighed and stood up.
"Just think about it?" Then she was gone. Eventually I knew someone would break it to me but I never thought it to be Rosalie. Of course she was right. It happened but I can deal with that and see my only child too. Slowly I got up and left my room for the first time in days.
I always knew, what was rightI just didn't know that I might
Peel away and choose to see
With such a different sight
Everyone seemed oblivious as to the fact that Rosalie had talked to me. They all sat around lounging each dealing with things their own way. Alice and Esme leaned over a small crib at what I presume to be Melody. They looked up at me suddenly smiling before walking away. I had questioned at the fact of if she should stay here but I knew she was probably better in a house full of vampires than anywhere else on the planet. Looking down on her tiny form I knew that she was my life now.
And I will never see the sky the same way,
And I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday
And I will never cease to fly if held down,
And I will always reach too high cause I've seen,
Cause I've seen twilight
Melody's little green eyes looked up at me. She looked so unfamiliar so foreign. For a second I wondered if I had ever seen her before in my life. Though she was still young I could tell her hair was going to be brown just as Bella's had and her eyes green like mine had been. Before I had thought I had no purpose beyond being with Bella but now I was wanted for something once again. This time I would be here to protect Melody. She'd be my priority now. I need her as much as she needs me.
Never cared never wantedNever sought to see what flaunted
So on purpose so in my face
Couldn't see beyond my own place
It was so easy not to behold what I could hold
Carefully I picked her up cradling her against my chest. She didn't stir or cry out just stared up at me. I hadn't believed I could find someone more fragile than Bella but I believe I just have. Once again I felt the pang at her remembrance but it will come often seeing at how much she reminds me of her mother.
Alice suddenly appeared at my side. "Isn't Mel just the cutest thing!"
"Mel?"
"Melody. Mel for short you know like a nickname. She looks just like…" she stopped before saying her name not wanting to hurt me.
"Bella," I finished smiling down at Melody.
"And you to. She has your eyes or you know… I can't wait to take her shopping! It will be so much fun!" Alice continued on but I wasn't listening only focusing in on Melody wondering what she was thinking or if I'd ever know if she took on Bella's traits. No matter what I knew for sure she'd be one spoiled child.
But you taught me I could changeWhatever came within these shallow days
And I will never see the sky the same way,
And I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday
And I will never cease to fly if held down,
And I will always reach too high cause I've seen,
Cause I've seen twilight
"Aw let me see her again!" Alice jumped up and down by my side frantic as if there was only so much time she had with her.
"If you stop jumping," I replied looking down at Alice as she slowly stilled. "Better. Be careful." I handed Melody over.
"Of course I will!" Then she danced off to Jasper who looked rather uncomfortable to have her so close but that didn't stop the smile that spread from seeing her. Maybe having Melody around will help everyone especially me.
As the sun shines through it pushes awayAnd pushes ahead
It fills the warmth of blue
And leaves a chill instead and
I didn't know that I could be
But as illusion dies
I see there is so much to be revealed
"I can't believe it. I'm an Uncle!" Emmett cracked up laughing.
A vivid picture of Bella appeared in my head. It hurt just because I knew, as I had wanted her to she had died a human but I hadn't wanted it this way. Somewhere though wherever it may be I know she is happy. My only regret is that I couldn't have been there for her but this is the way to make it up. I had told I'd take care of Melody and I intended to keep that promise. It wouldn't change things but it would help.
And I will never see the sky the same way,
And I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday
And I will never cease to fly if held down,
And I will always reach too high cause I've seen,
Cause I've seen twilight
It was all I had for the time and I held onto it letting it soak up my pain and sorrow to be replaced by something much better.
I was stained, with a role,
In a day not my own
But as you walked into my life
You showed what needed to be shown
I always knew, what was right
I just didn't know that I might
Peel away and choose to see
With such a different sight
And I will never see the sky the same way,
And I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday
And I will never cease to fly if held down,
And I will always reach too high cause I've seen,
Cause I've seen twilight
Disclaimer: The song is called Twilight and it belongs to Vanessa Carlton.
A/N: I know this chapter is slow. Next comes the drama and mystery behind the story. I'm not sure how much I like this story or whether to continue so R&R and tell me what you think!