Happily ever after in a day
Kickers-ej
Disclaimer: I do not, can not and most probably never will own Naruto (damn!) or Sasuke (double damn!)
Happy birthday Sasuke. This is for you.
It didn't start with long, long ago or once upon a time. It didn't contain dragons or witches or Harry Potters. This fairy tale began when a prince of a prestigious land became 14 years old. An uncommon age to begin a tale with, for sure, as people is not fond of even numbers.
Who gives a damn what people are fond of.
Anyway, Prince Sasuke, the main character of this fairy tale, was busy brooding at his place on the royal table. His idiotic dad, the most highness King Kakashi decided that on his birthday, a party sounds splendid. This is true for the whole female pupolation. And dead wrong for Sasuke. The crowd was either eating (0.001), or dancing (1), or else gawking at him (the rest of the ) and he was not enjoying himself at all. His dad gleefully ditched him, reading the new instalment of Icha Icha, while he was alone to face his fangirls by his lonesome self.
It was when Karin-chan, a distant princess that his dad once knew, came and declared a "Sasuke is so handsome sitting and sulking, let's jump him" glomp attack that Prince Sasuke thanked the gods he was remotely smart to call in all of his stationed soldiers from the borders. Carnage took place.
"Ahem!" said a tiny voice, and everyone immediately turned towards the source. 2 fairies fluttered about, wands in hand. The first fairy was a busty woman, blonde hair and short skirt. Upon further inspection later on, people will realize that even though she looks 20-ish, she is actually 50 plus (and thus projectile vomit can be induced). The later, a cross dressing man, or a rather forced he-fairy, with the original fairy dress in place (this instantly induced projectile vomit). Both of them seemed agitated, like they were hiding from something (or someone).
"Nya nya nya nya...here to give you your gifts,"The female one said. She is called Tsunade.
"Aren't you guys 14 years too late to give me gifts?" Sasuke snorted indignantly. Obviously, he didn't need anything.
"I give you the gift of perfectivity," Jiraiya, the male one uttered, while swishing his wand about, sparkles were thrown, and Sasuke seemed pissed.
They were cheating little a-------! He was already perfect! Give him a valid gift dammit!
"What am I gonna give him?!!" whined the female one. She was about to clobber her colleague when black smoke erupted not far from the prince, and another fairy emerged. The fairy wore a dress like apparel, and had long luscious hair, silken and black.
"I curse you with the gift of emo-ness, you shall turn 14 and then just start brooding automatically! That shall teach you to mess with me!" the weird fairy a.k.a Orochimaru stated. He then cackled a bit before disappearing.
"I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU!!!"Sasuke complained. Great, now he's gonna be a prissy a! And he officially turns 14 in a few hours!
"Wicked! Now I have an opening! Do not fret your royal highness, for I shall fix the problem,"
"You gave me the problem!"
"I give you the gift of alleviation, you shall decrease the level of emo-ness and brooding once you have received your first kiss, and it shall be done in a bondage type fashion! When your true love approaches, you shall be bound to a bed!" Tsunade wiffed her wand. And with that they both disappeared. Sasuke cursed his fate, in minutes he was about to turn 14! And how the hell did they found out about him never been kissed!
Just as the clock struck 5, Sasuke started throwing tantrums and spurted stuff which only emo bastards are capable of saying (hence why I am unable to write such words). He developed a stance that requires him clasping both hands and placing them elbow wise on the table, as his hands are stationed in front of his nose. Girls immediately screamed murder and lined up, making an attempt to get the first kiss, each of them unable to induce a bed-bound Sasuke scenario. After the 189th girl failed to do so, Sasuke was surrounded by light, and a bed materialized from no where.
The best part was that lo and behold,Prince Sasuke was tied to the bed post(which surprisingly came with a Disney Princesses comforter set and sheets), half of his clothes ripped and lying around him suggestively. Everyone waited with baited breath, for who is the Prince's true love? Heads rolled around, surveying for newcomers.
"Those fairies are perverted a-------" Sasuke muttered.
"Ano sa, ano sa, why are you tied up Sasuke-teme?" came the innocent question from the far side of the bed, and Prince Naruto from the neighbouring kingdom poked his adorable blond head. He surveyed Sasuke's condition, licked his lips and eyed hungrily the bound prince. Sasuke flushed red and tried to look unaffected.
"None of your business, you dobe," a practiced script, as both Prince had been bickering since forever. Naruto smiled and moved to the other side, where he tripped on the lush carpeting (purposely) and landed lip-to-lip on Sasuke. Sasuke, being bound, was unable to do anything, but Naruto, happily taking his given opportunity proceeded to kiss the hell out of the brooding guy. The binds disappeared, indicating that Naruto truly is Sasuke's true love and first kiss.
"Oh my god!!! They are gay! Kyaaaaaa!!!!" the Sasunaru fanclub came to after that.
"I can't believe we weren't even mentioned!" wailed a frustrated Kiba, the rest of the Naruto cast nodded glumly.
"At least it didn't end with sex," Sakura commented.
"Ahhh,Naruto. Please...no,"
"Hehe, do you think I'm stupid?"
"Ah!!"
"Okay, I take that back,"Sakura countered.
Happy birthday Sasuke!!!!! I forever love you!!!! Please review!!!!