(AN: So much for getting the next chapter up soon. Heh, I am very sorry about that. I took full advantage of my summer this year. When I wasn't working or traveling off somewhere, I was doing nothing productive at all. I played a lot of Sims 2 and watched a lot of DVDs, and that's about it. Heck, I'm surprised I actually wrote a couple of one-shots. And then, when I moved back to college, I expected to update this right away—and that didn't happen either. I hit writer's block and I hit it hard. This chapter was re-written about three times, and while I'm still not sure if the end result works well, at least it's something. It's definitely a filler chapter, which probably explains why it was so hard to write. And then again, once I got past one little part, the rest came easy. Must have been that walk I took.

Last chapter I forgot the disclaimer, so here it is: I am not Stephen Hillenburg, Nickelodeon, or a janitor employed by either. I do not claim ownership of the amazing show SpongeBob SquarePants, and cannot either, unless I wanted to lie. Please do not sue me… I'd cry.

Here's chapter two! Again, I am sorry for the wait.)

O.o.O

"I can't believe I'm finally breaking into this!"

Once SpongeBob had put himself back together (literally), he had sprinted straight home, shouting out the news at the top of his lungs as he burst through his front door. Gary hadn't believed him, of course—he was even still skeptical when SpongeBob had shown him the license—but a quick examination by the intelligent snail convinced him that it was genuine.

Now, the sponge and his snail were gathered around a very large and heavy piggy bank. SpongeBob, holding a hammer, marveled at what he was about to do. "I've been putting in half of my minimum wage paycheck in here for ages now, only to break it open to buy a boat! And I can't believe that I'm actually going to use this money now for what I intended! Gary, please hold the piggy bank steady for me—"

"Meow," snapped Gary.

"I will not hit you," retorted SpongeBob. "I have very good aim."

Gary shook his head, remembering when SpongeBob had thrown a frisbee a few years ago. There was a reported sighting of it in Bhutan.

"Fine, scaredy-snail," said SpongeBob. "I'll hit it fine without you holding it. If I just slam down really hard and fast, then it'll break instantly!"

SMACK!

A hammerhead-sized hole was now embedded in SpongeBob's floor.

"Whoops," said SpongeBob, blushing. "Well, that wasn't too far off the mark…"

"Meow," muttered Gary, and he was right, of course—he had struck his hammer a good three feet away from the bank.

"Could have happened to anyone!" cried SpongeBob. "I'm just excited, that's all!" SMACK! Another hole, three feet in the opposite direction. SMACK! A hole in the wall. SMACK! "Ow! My foot!"

Gary sighed, took the hammer from SpongeBob, and with a crash of broken papier-mâché, the piggy bank shattered, revealing a small flood of coins and paper money.

"Waaa-HOOO!" cried SpongeBob, throwing his money in the air and throwing his head back as if he were enjoying a pleasant rainfall. "I'm going to go to the used boat lot, Gary, and buy whatever I can afford with this, drive around Bikini Bottom and show my boat to all my friends, then come back here and heat up that 'meow' of yours from this morning."

"Meow," sighed Gary, his tone of voice indicating that he'd hoped that SpongeBob had forgotten about that.

"I have the memory of an elephant, Gary. Whatever that is," added SpongeBob, scratching his head.

Gary made a trumpeting noise, sounding like a very convincing elephant.

"We'll get your sinus problem taken care of later, Gary," said SpongeBob, completely clueless. "In fact, that's the first thing I'll do—I'll drive to the pharmacy and buy you some medicine! What do you think of that?"

"Meow."

"Of course I need a boat first—and that's where I'm going! See you later, Gary!"

O.o.O

"Isn't she beautiful?"

Two hours later, SpongeBob had returned home, after buying a used boat, buying some medicine for Gary, going grocery shopping, stopping by the retirement home to say hi to Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy (Barnacle Boy threw him out about seventeen seconds after he walked in, so that hadn't taken very long), and driving around the park. Now he was back home, and he, along with Gary, Patrick, and Squidward, were looking at his new boat.

"How do you tell a girl boat from a boy?" asked Patrick.

"Looks like just the kind of boat you'd like, SpongeBob," muttered Squidward.

"Of course!" said SpongeBob, still in awe, his voice high and breathy. "Can you believe I was able afford it?"

"Yes," said Squidward. "Can I go back inside now?"

To be fair, SpongeBob's newly purchased mode of transportation wasn't as terrible as Squidward was making it seem. The boat was a very old model—probably older than SpongeBob—but still not old enough to warrant being in a museum. The paint, an odd blue color, was coming off around the wheels as well. Still, all in all, it drove alright and that was all that really mattered to SpongeBob.

"Don't you want to take a spin in her?" SpongeBob asked.

"I'd rather get the bubonic plague," Squidward said sharply. "Now unless you have a special tricycle to show me, can I get back to my slightly more interesting and far less insane life?"

SpongeBob laughed. "Your loss." As Squidward rolled his eyes and returned to his house, SpongeBob looked again at his boat. "She needs a name. What do you think I should call her, Patrick?"

SpongeBob's dim starfish friend was stooped down, looking under the boat. "Are you sure it's a girl? I think this doo-hickey here clearly signifies that it's a male."

"Hmm." SpongeBob thought about this. "I usually hear modes of transportation being referred to only as females, but I guess there must be males out there." The sponge pondered this. "I've got it!" he finally cried. "We can give it a name that's either male or female! Then, if we're wrong about its gender, it doesn't matter."

"How about Nancy?" asked Patrick.

"Patrick, Nancy's a girl's name," said SpongeBob.

"I know," said Patrick, looking irritated, "but it's also a girl's name!"

SpongeBob had learned to just ignore Patrick's nonsensical utterances. "How about Morgan?"

"I still like Nancy," sniffed Patrick.

SpongeBob sighed. "Look, why don't we name it 'Morgan Nancy'? Morgan is the first name, and Nancy is the middle name."

"Well, alright," said Patrick, although he still looked doubtful. "But if it turns out to be a girl boat, you'll have to change the 'Morgan'."

"Morgan can be a girl's name too," sighed SpongeBob. "Besides, if it's a boy boat, we're already in trouble by naming it 'Nancy'."

"Meow," sighed Gary.

"I'll tell you what, Patrick," said SpongeBob. "I'll go feed Gary, then you and I could go out to lunch somewhere in my new set of wheels!"

Patrick gasped. "You bought wheels? Where? Where? Why didn't you show me?"

"I mean these wheels!" laughed SpongeBob, indicating "Morgan Nancy" with a wave of his hand. "What do you say, shall we take a spin?"

"Spin! Alright!" Patrick fell on the ground and began to break-dance.

O.o.O

"This just seems so… strange," admitted SpongeBob. He and Patrick were in the boat, SpongeBob behind the wheel, and Patrick lounging in the shotgun seat. "Here I am, driving down the road in my boat, my very own boat… I feel like I'm breaking some sort of rule!"

"If you are, I had nothing to do with it!" cried Patrick.

"I'm not, it just seems…" SpongeBob thought for a bit. "I've never driven by myself before. It's just a strange feeling."

"But you're not by yourself!" smiled Patrick. "I'm here!"

"But you're not a parent, guardian, driving instructor, or other responsible adult," reminded SpongeBob. "You're just my friend."

"Well, if you want to split hairs…" sniffed Patrick.

SpongeBob sighed to himself. Patrick was his best friend in the whole world, but having a conversation with him could be difficult. He had a bad habit of taking innocent remarks and turning them into personal stabs. One could only even attempt to reason with him if he had at least one other person backing him up.

Which is one reason why SpongeBob was glad he had other friends.

"I have a great idea, Patrick!" he exclaimed.

"Me too!" cried Patrick.

"Let's hear yours first!" suggested SpongeBob.

"Alright! …I think you should keep driving!"

SpongeBob blinked. "Well, I was planning on it!"

"Oh boy! Hooray!" cried Patrick, clapping his hands.

"Now do you want to hear my idea?"

"Oh, if you insist…"

"We should ask Sandy if she wants to come with us! Because the more friends you bring along, the more fun things are!"

"That's a great idea!" said Patrick. "We could bring along this guy too!" He picked up a random fish who was walking by.

"Okay, but I don't know who he is," said SpongeBob.

"I don't either," shrugged Patrick.

"WOULD YOU PUT ME DOWN?" shrieked the fish.

"Oh, here we are!" cried SpongeBob in alarm, for they were at Sandy's treedome already. He slammed on the brakes, he and Patrick slammed into the windshield, and the random fish flew out of Patrick's hands.

"I can see my house from here!" they could hear him cry as he zoomed out of sight and hearing.

"Sorry," said SpongeBob, blushing. "I'm not the best at stopping just yet."

"I'll accept your apology when I can pull my face off of your windshield," said Patrick, showing an uncharacteristic display of large words. Then, as if to prove he was still his old mentally-challenged self, he added, "Horseshoes!"

SpongeBob put the boat in park and ran up to the treedome, opening the front door and standing in the small atrium between the watery world of his own and Sandy's own, dry habitat. Not planning on entering, he knocked on the door and pushed a button on the small speaker system. "Sandy, are you in there?"

He waited for a moment, and soon he got his answer. "Oh, howdy, SpongeBob. Y'all wanna come in?" Sandy asked in her thick but light-hearted Texas drawl.

"Not today, I was just wondering if you wanted to come out to lunch with me and Patrick?"

The intercom made a sound that was probably Sandy sighing. "Oh, I dunno SpongeBob, I kinda had plans…"

"You kinda had plans, or you really had plans?" SpongeBob asked.

"Well, only kinda…"

"Aw, come on, Sandy, you'll like it! Besides, I have a surprise…"

"A surprise? What kind of a surprise?"

"If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise!" said SpongeBob in a sing-song voice.

Sandy laughed, and SpongeBob relaxed, knowing that he had convinced her. "Alright then. Just lemme get my suit on."

In a few moments, both SpongeBob and Sandy were outside. "So where's this surprise you done been talking about?" Sandy demanded.

SpongeBob giggled. Sandy couldn't see the boat—her back was to it. "Turn around!" he said.

"Huh?" asked Sandy.

"Turn around, bright eyes!" said SpogneBob, pushing Sandy so that she could see the boat.

"Well tan my fur!" cried Sandy. "You're driving now, SpongeBob? You got your license?"

SpongeBob pulled his license out of his pocket. "Convinced now?"

"Well, golly, SpongeBob! Congratulations!" Sandy took a second look at SpongeBob's vehicle, examining it more closely. "She looks like a decent li'l clunker, alright, looks like y'all can go just 'bout anywhere in her!" She frowned. "But why the Patrick cling on?"

"Patrick!" cried SpongeBob. "Why are you still on the windshield?"

"I can see my house from here!" cried Patrick.

Sandy and SpongeBob exchanged a glance.

"So where'd ya wanna go eat?" Sandy asked.

O.o.O

(AN: Alright, about SpongeBob's "turn around bright eyes" line… that's from the song "Total Eclipse of the Heart" sung by Bonnie Tyler (which, incidentally, I don't own either). I heard it on the radio shortly after writing Bigger Than That and was totally blown away by how well it fit that particular fanfiction. Now, I know that I said that this fic is completely unrelated to BTT, but I just love making as many references as I can… including a reference to my own story! Sneaky, huh? (is shot)

Please review! The more reviews I get, the better inspired I am and (usually) the quicker the chapter comes! Although if it takes a whole month that'll still be a shorter wait than this one! See you (hopefully) soon!)