DISCLAIMER: I DID NOT CREATE THE INUYASHA CHARACTERS OR ANYTHING THAT PERTAINS/RELATES TO THEM
WARNING: THIS PARODY MAY NOT BE FOUND SUITABLE FOR CERTAIN PEOPLE. MEANING YES, THERE ARE SOME DISTURBING ELEMENTS THAT MAY NOT BE DELIGHTFUL TO READ OR NONETHELESS IMAGINE. NOW… ENJOY! Oh, and MUFFINS AND PANCAKES AND SYRUP.
Note: This Chapter is where the gang takes some time to discover what Kagome has in her school bag.
Chapter 3 –KAGOME'S MODERN THINGSThe gang rests at their campfire once again. This time however the whole gang except for Kagome was left in the morn. Her bag was completely empty and her bike was gone as well. It was odd…
She arose from the firm ground and walks around wondering where her friends have gone. She then sees Shippo swiftly flying by her… but… in her bike!
"AHH!! KAGOME!! HELP ME!! I'm too short to work this thing!" Shippo yells with all of his might of a small body allowed.
"Oh, Shippo you hopeless fox…" Kagome whispered under breath.
Kagome runs after the bike and the runaway fox and eventually caught the handles near the middle of the forest… but by the time she caught the bike she rammed straight in to the tree leaving her bike in pieces…
"Oh well… this bike sucks anyways and it's… pink…"
She leaves Shippo in his idiocy and heads toward the campfire.
She then finds Inuyasha eating her potato chips again. "Kagome, I love your dried potatoes!! I just can't stop eating them!"
"Inuyasha there are things called fat in foods just like that that—"
"Ahh… who cares!! I love the food you brought!!"
Kagome feeling hopeless once again hears laughter deep inside the woods close by. She decides to walk into the forest to discover the reason behind the laughter. It was Sango. It seems she is enjoying herself some how.
Kagome goes in closer to see what is going and hears a buzz in the air. Sango then yells in pure amusement while sitting next to a tree.
"Sango… you found my vibrator?" Kagome was shocked and embarrassed that Sango found her toys…
"Kagome… you are so lucky!! Oh my god!! This… ohh… feels so… GOOD!!"
Kagome turns her back at Sango and her face fades quickly to pink then to blood-shot red. She then sees a glimmer within the bushes while staring off into the distance… It was a telescope! The sun was shining brightly within forest cutting through the trees, which caused the telescope to glimmer and shine to where a blind person can see. Kagome then lowers her body some and peers at the person who is using the contraption. Of course… it was Miroku!
"Miroku!! You peeping tom!! Wow could you?" Kagome asks in intense anger.
"What? What's a peeping tom? And I was able to figure out to use this. It seems if you look into one end you can amplify the sight from the other end! Isn't amazing? From a distance I can see what everyone is doing!!"
"You sick perverted peeping tom toad you!! AHH!!"
Miroku continues looking into the telescope and gets a closer look at Kagome's legs. He then sets his sights at Sango.
Kagome then hits Miroku leaving a red mark on his face…
This makes Miroku drop the telescope and breaks it…
"Oh NO!! My telescope my grandfather gave me!!"
Kagome leaves the woods frustrated and disappointed. She then encounters a very large man in red clothing and long silver hair with his back towards her. It seems he is eating something. Kagome then runs around the large man and sees it is Inuyasha!!
"Inuyasha what happened to you!? You look fat and greasy and ugly!!"
"What are you talking about? I'm just fine!!"
Kagome then reaches in school bag and gets out a mirror for Inuyasha to see.
"Look at you!! You're not PHAT anymore you're FAT!!"
"What? I'm sexy as ever I don't know what you are talking about!"
"No… you're not…" Kagome cries in utter despair at the sight of the new Inuyasha…
Inuyasha finally looks in to the mirror and realizes that he has bloated into ugliness and has swelled to an extremely high height and width… (let's say 11 feet)
"I told you about the fat that those chips ha—"
"What am I going to do!? I want to be sexy again!! KAGOME!"
"—If you had listen to me bef—"
"What the hell is this?" Inuyasha stretches the fat in his cheeks and his underarms…
"—are you listening to me!? You have to exercise!! Hey Inu—"
"This is gross!"
Kagome then loses hope with Inuyasha again and leaves the campfire and finds Shippo, but… Shippo was using Kagome's make-up.
Kagome then yells at Shippo with disbelief, "Shippo what in the world are you doing!? That's make-up it's not for boys!! It's for girls and that lipstick is not your shade!!"
"Oh… sorry Kagome…"
"It's alright we'll just clean you up."
"Don't worry about that. I'll go in that stream…"
"No Shipp-"
It was too late… Shippo dived into the stream before Kagome's words reached him.
Kagome then thinks about how her make-up will pollute the stream because of the pig sperm used for the lipstick…
"Great… I'll be responsible for the stream's pollution and it will be hazardous…"
Kagome leaves Shippo to his bath and returns to see if Inuyasha is okay.
"What!? Inuyasha how in the world did you get skinny all of a sudden?"
"Are you kidding me? I'm way too hot to have fat on me."
"What?"
Kagome continues in to the forest where Miroku and Sango are depressed.
"Oh my God!! Gross I really didn't want to see this…"
"Oh… Miroku I've been waiting for you to be inside me!"
"Sango I was waiting for you for a long time it's just that… I was insecure with the size of my penis…"
Sango then takes out a measuring tape to measure Miroku's manhood. "What are you talking about? Your penis is about 11 inches!"
"Sango… that was before I found a PENIS ENLARGER inside Kagome's bag and tried it out…"
"… how small was it?"
"umm… let's say smaller than… my finger…"
"…Whatever… I want children with you!!"
Kagome runs away screaming, but she slipped on something slippery…
"What is this? My tampons!! My pads, too!! What in the world!! I needed those really bad!! My periods about to st—!" Kagome looks down on the ground and sees a large puddle of red where she is standing and also sees her pads and tampons stained with Sango's blood. "Great…"
She then leaves the woods, but then...
She then sees Kirara in the litter box that her cat uses…
I really give up with these people…
"Hey Kagome!!" Shippo runs to Kagome wet. "Why is the stream purple and green?"
"Hey KAGOME!! I want to eat these chips!!"
"Kagome how can I pay for the telescope?"
"Kagome thanks for the pads? And the tampon? Oh and the vibrator?"
"MEOW!! PURRRRRR!!"
"AHHH!!! WHY!! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING!! TELL ME THIS IS A DREAM!!"
Inuyasha then tries to speak to Kagome while she was in a deep sleep.
"Kagome?"
"Wh—Huh? Was that really a dream??"
"How many chips should I eat now?"
"My turn my turn!! How long will my penis be 11 inches?"
"Kagome, do you have any more pads or tampons?"
"Kagome, how are we going to fix the stream?"
"NO!!!"
Kagome then wakes up again… "Phew… I hate double dreams…"
"What the hell are you talking about, Kagome? You just fainted."
"NO!!"
"Kagome? You seriously need to stop fainting, dammit!"
Wow… this is my longest one…